FINALLY becoming the Parent I am proud to be...
brightman73
Hello Everyone!
I'm happy to have found this list. Until recently, I considered myself
a very strict, obedience at all costs, type of parent. When my Father
passed away a few months ago something opened my eyes to the way I was
doing things. Was my approach best for me? No, I was stressed out and
could not wait to get away from my child to have a break. Did it work
for my three year old son? No, he shows himself increasingly his own
person is not the type to obey quietly and people please.
So, as a result, I found the book and some podcasts about Raising Our
Children Raising Ourselves along with some great interviews at An
Inspired Education <www.aninspirededucation.com> . As a result, I found
the unschooling method and have not stopped reading and implementing the
practices. Methods which honor and give my child his voice while giving
me a more quality relationship rather than one based on fear.
I can't tell you how happy I am to find this group!
Currently, my son is in a Montessori school and his teacher has already
hinted to me he might have some kind of Asperger's. The more I started
really looking and seeing him, the less I wanted to run get him to
tested. As I began to see how my child "ticked" instead of making him
tick to the system's beat (mine, the school, the church, etc.) - the
less I saw him as having problems that needed to be fixed. I see him
now as a human being who needs the freedom to express himself and learn
with dignity, not condemnation.
I do work part-time and I'm in the process of sorting through my own
issues about my "me" time and my "work" time which are becoming less
important as I pray about bringing him home 100%. My plan is to bring
him home this summer for sure. I'm taking things one step at a time.
These are baby steps for a Mom like me, but just in this short amount of
time - I am so AMAZED at how our relationship has GROWN to one of trust
and mutual respect!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I'm happy to have found this list. Until recently, I considered myself
a very strict, obedience at all costs, type of parent. When my Father
passed away a few months ago something opened my eyes to the way I was
doing things. Was my approach best for me? No, I was stressed out and
could not wait to get away from my child to have a break. Did it work
for my three year old son? No, he shows himself increasingly his own
person is not the type to obey quietly and people please.
So, as a result, I found the book and some podcasts about Raising Our
Children Raising Ourselves along with some great interviews at An
Inspired Education <www.aninspirededucation.com> . As a result, I found
the unschooling method and have not stopped reading and implementing the
practices. Methods which honor and give my child his voice while giving
me a more quality relationship rather than one based on fear.
I can't tell you how happy I am to find this group!
Currently, my son is in a Montessori school and his teacher has already
hinted to me he might have some kind of Asperger's. The more I started
really looking and seeing him, the less I wanted to run get him to
tested. As I began to see how my child "ticked" instead of making him
tick to the system's beat (mine, the school, the church, etc.) - the
less I saw him as having problems that needed to be fixed. I see him
now as a human being who needs the freedom to express himself and learn
with dignity, not condemnation.
I do work part-time and I'm in the process of sorting through my own
issues about my "me" time and my "work" time which are becoming less
important as I pray about bringing him home 100%. My plan is to bring
him home this summer for sure. I'm taking things one step at a time.
These are baby steps for a Mom like me, but just in this short amount of
time - I am so AMAZED at how our relationship has GROWN to one of trust
and mutual respect!!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb
I hear the excitement about your changing values for your child and that's awesome! I also commend you for not jumping onto and clinging to some diagnosis of your son just because he may learn differently than others at his school. I brought my eight year old son, Nicholas home this year to UNschool after failing last year at doing " homeschool" which basically ended up with him being as miserable as. He was in public school. They also suggested he might have a slight ADD problem and the pediatrician handed me a perscription like it was for bubble gum. We tried it for two days and threw it out. It made him.....um.....just not Nicholas if you get my meaning.
Keep doing what you're doing and bring him home as much as you can, like you said was your plan. Read a lot of sandradodd.com and check put some good unschooling books on amazo. Cuz they're very reasonably priced there.
Welcome to the gang and let us know how things progress.
Deborah
Keep doing what you're doing and bring him home as much as you can, like you said was your plan. Read a lot of sandradodd.com and check put some good unschooling books on amazo. Cuz they're very reasonably priced there.
Welcome to the gang and let us know how things progress.
Deborah
--- In [email protected], "brightman73" <brightman73@...> wrote:
>
> Hello Everyone!
> I'm happy to have found this list. Until recently, I considered myself
> a very strict, obedience at all costs, type of parent. When my Father
> passed away a few months ago something opened my eyes to the way I was
> doing things. Was my approach best for me? No, I was stressed out and
> could not wait to get away from my child to have a break. Did it work
> for my three year old son? No, he shows himself increasingly his own
> person is not the type to obey quietly and people please.
>
> So, as a result, I found the book and some podcasts about Raising Our
> Children Raising Ourselves along with some great interviews at An
> Inspired Education <www.aninspirededucation.com> . As a result, I found
> the unschooling method and have not stopped reading and implementing the
> practices. Methods which honor and give my child his voice while giving
> me a more quality relationship rather than one based on fear.
>
> I can't tell you how happy I am to find this group!
>
> Currently, my son is in a Montessori school and his teacher has already
> hinted to me he might have some kind of Asperger's. The more I started
> really looking and seeing him, the less I wanted to run get him to
> tested. As I began to see how my child "ticked" instead of making him
> tick to the system's beat (mine, the school, the church, etc.) - the
> less I saw him as having problems that needed to be fixed. I see him
> now as a human being who needs the freedom to express himself and learn
> with dignity, not condemnation.
>
> I do work part-time and I'm in the process of sorting through my own
> issues about my "me" time and my "work" time which are becoming less
> important as I pray about bringing him home 100%. My plan is to bring
> him home this summer for sure. I'm taking things one step at a time.
> These are baby steps for a Mom like me, but just in this short amount of
> time - I am so AMAZED at how our relationship has GROWN to one of trust
> and mutual respect!!
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Welcome to the gang and let us know how things progress.-=-
It's not a gang. :-)
It's a discussion of ideas. No one needs to let us know how things progress at all. If you have an issue to discuss, bring it. What you do with the information after that is your own private business.
It's hard for some to grasp, but this isn't a social group. Talking about how the dog is or what's for dinner is entirely and totally off topic and inappropriate. We don't do intros or welcomes or "I'm leaving now" or "good bye."
Each post should be clearly about unschooling or parenting, and the advice should be as clear and as well thought out as the writer can make it.
To the topic, though, one of the greatest benefits of unschooling is the relationship with the child, and the changing attitudes of those in the family twoard learning and being. Being a parent one is proud to be is priceless and profound.
The healing of one's own childhood wounds and the recovery from school are like little bonus miracles.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It's not a gang. :-)
It's a discussion of ideas. No one needs to let us know how things progress at all. If you have an issue to discuss, bring it. What you do with the information after that is your own private business.
It's hard for some to grasp, but this isn't a social group. Talking about how the dog is or what's for dinner is entirely and totally off topic and inappropriate. We don't do intros or welcomes or "I'm leaving now" or "good bye."
Each post should be clearly about unschooling or parenting, and the advice should be as clear and as well thought out as the writer can make it.
To the topic, though, one of the greatest benefits of unschooling is the relationship with the child, and the changing attitudes of those in the family twoard learning and being. Being a parent one is proud to be is priceless and profound.
The healing of one's own childhood wounds and the recovery from school are like little bonus miracles.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
brightman73
Thank you for the thoughtful responses!
Deborah, I appreciate your experience with Nicholas. I had the same
thoughts and having been a public and private school teacher, I knew
that drugs weren't far behind when my son would go to regular school.
You might enjoy the documentary, "Dead Wrong: How Psychiatric Drugs Can
Kill Your Child" <http://www.cchr.org/videos/dead-wrong.html>
This unschooling philosophy calls me to awaken to all areas of my life
when I am not driven by my highest values. It shows up when I care too
much what others think, their opinion, or approval. If I want my son to
stand firm in himself, I must learn to model it. I'm getting there! :-)
This morning, over tears and too many signs that we could not ignore, we
made the decision to bring him home full time. My husband and I feel
really good about it. See here's the thing - as I started changing the
way I relate to my son, it became apparent that even his little
pre-school was undermining the freedoms I was giving him. He was
getting into big trouble for going up a porch sideways instead of using
the stairs - shamed and humiliated in front of me, another parent, and
child. This among other things sealed the deal. This is the parent I
want to be. I stand up for what I know is true about myself and my son.
It is about believing that my love for my son and my care of his
emotional health is more important than the latest gadgets a school can
offer.
Stephanie---
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deborah, I appreciate your experience with Nicholas. I had the same
thoughts and having been a public and private school teacher, I knew
that drugs weren't far behind when my son would go to regular school.
You might enjoy the documentary, "Dead Wrong: How Psychiatric Drugs Can
Kill Your Child" <http://www.cchr.org/videos/dead-wrong.html>
This unschooling philosophy calls me to awaken to all areas of my life
when I am not driven by my highest values. It shows up when I care too
much what others think, their opinion, or approval. If I want my son to
stand firm in himself, I must learn to model it. I'm getting there! :-)
This morning, over tears and too many signs that we could not ignore, we
made the decision to bring him home full time. My husband and I feel
really good about it. See here's the thing - as I started changing the
way I relate to my son, it became apparent that even his little
pre-school was undermining the freedoms I was giving him. He was
getting into big trouble for going up a porch sideways instead of using
the stairs - shamed and humiliated in front of me, another parent, and
child. This among other things sealed the deal. This is the parent I
want to be. I stand up for what I know is true about myself and my son.
It is about believing that my love for my son and my care of his
emotional health is more important than the latest gadgets a school can
offer.
Stephanie---
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]