12yo daughter wanting to go to school
Liz
I'm so torn how to handle this... my 12yo daughter wants to try going to our local public school. She's an extremely social person, and she cannot get enough social experiences during our day to day life and thinks trying school would be "fun".
We've been homeschooling for the past 3 years (I pulled her and ds10 from a very small, private school when they were in 4th/2nd grades). We're a part of a homeschool group that meets once a week for classes/park day, frequent events and field trips, which we participate in almost all. Daughter has many great friends (from past school, homeschool group, x-box live) who all facetime, do x-box live, text, call etc. She's frequently walking around our house talking to a few different kids at the same time (one on her cell phone, one on the x-box headset, one on her computer, etc). She also takes dance classes 3 nights a week and has friends there, and takes an art class once a week, and wants to try singing lessons again too. Her cousin (same age) and some dance friends go to this school, and are all excited she's thinking about attending.
So, we're looking into it. I had read in Sandra's "Moving A Puddle" (what a fantastic book) that letting your child go to school, but making it "their" responsibility entirely, was a way to be sure it's really "theirs", as an experience. I'm all for this. I told her she first has to get herself on the would-be school schedule for a few weeks, of waking up at 6am and getting herself ready for the bus which comes past our house at 6:50am. I don't want to enroll her in school, talk to the office (who have been wonderful with us in our homeschooling journey), have everything set, and have her not show up.
I explained to her that I won't be waking her up, forcing her to "hurry up and get ready", that's it's her own thing to do. But I will get up with her and make her breakfast and see her off. I told her I won't be checking her homework unless she asks me for help, I won't be reminding her to make sure she has the proper books, etc. When my kids went to school, I was "Mrs. School"... at every event, volunteered for everything, was on top of the kids w/ all homework (as the teachers wanted us to be). I was in the school volunteering every day (lunch/recess work). Anyway, I told her it won't be like that. I told her she can come back home at any time during her school experience. But that she cannot go back and forth. I think she thought she could be absent as much as she wants and I would tell them we're homeschooling her again, then she can attend just when she feels like it. She really wishes it was a part time thing, so she could do both school and be at home. I also think she thinks it will be one big fun-fest.
As for her homeschooling experience, she loves her freedom with being home. She's grown soooo much as a person, and discovered things she loves, that I just know wouldn't have had the opportunity to surface if we were back on that dreaded school schedule. No time to find true passions. She knows this too. It's just what she perceives as the social fun of school is calling out to her.
My husband, who was so against pulling them from school in the first place 3 years ago, said he had a stomachache and heartache when we told him of the school thoughts. He just loves having them home now.
Anyway, I'm prepared to have this experience be 'hers', but I also want to continue to "parent" her. I don't want her to feel I've abandoned her because I don't really want her to go to school.
In her life at home, she asks me to read to her, do "math work" with her (she's fascinated with fractions at the moment and she loves the Life of Fred math series), study countries, states, people with her. We do lots of *around the world* nights, science fairs, art fairs, etc, with our homeschool group, and she always asks me to do the projects with her. She says she's going to miss all this immensely if she goes to school.
So, when she's in school and she comes to me saying "we have this book for homework, will you read it to me?" (or help her with her math sheets she'll be getting, etc), how do I handle this? I want to say that she has to do it herself, because this is her experience. She will probably say (or think), "you did these things with me when we homeschooled, and now you won't because I'm in school." This is what I'm struggling with. I know I'm forecasting the future here, but this was our past life in school, and the past 3 years of them being home, so I can foresee it being the same when she tries school again.
any words of wisdom would be very appreciated.
We've been homeschooling for the past 3 years (I pulled her and ds10 from a very small, private school when they were in 4th/2nd grades). We're a part of a homeschool group that meets once a week for classes/park day, frequent events and field trips, which we participate in almost all. Daughter has many great friends (from past school, homeschool group, x-box live) who all facetime, do x-box live, text, call etc. She's frequently walking around our house talking to a few different kids at the same time (one on her cell phone, one on the x-box headset, one on her computer, etc). She also takes dance classes 3 nights a week and has friends there, and takes an art class once a week, and wants to try singing lessons again too. Her cousin (same age) and some dance friends go to this school, and are all excited she's thinking about attending.
So, we're looking into it. I had read in Sandra's "Moving A Puddle" (what a fantastic book) that letting your child go to school, but making it "their" responsibility entirely, was a way to be sure it's really "theirs", as an experience. I'm all for this. I told her she first has to get herself on the would-be school schedule for a few weeks, of waking up at 6am and getting herself ready for the bus which comes past our house at 6:50am. I don't want to enroll her in school, talk to the office (who have been wonderful with us in our homeschooling journey), have everything set, and have her not show up.
I explained to her that I won't be waking her up, forcing her to "hurry up and get ready", that's it's her own thing to do. But I will get up with her and make her breakfast and see her off. I told her I won't be checking her homework unless she asks me for help, I won't be reminding her to make sure she has the proper books, etc. When my kids went to school, I was "Mrs. School"... at every event, volunteered for everything, was on top of the kids w/ all homework (as the teachers wanted us to be). I was in the school volunteering every day (lunch/recess work). Anyway, I told her it won't be like that. I told her she can come back home at any time during her school experience. But that she cannot go back and forth. I think she thought she could be absent as much as she wants and I would tell them we're homeschooling her again, then she can attend just when she feels like it. She really wishes it was a part time thing, so she could do both school and be at home. I also think she thinks it will be one big fun-fest.
As for her homeschooling experience, she loves her freedom with being home. She's grown soooo much as a person, and discovered things she loves, that I just know wouldn't have had the opportunity to surface if we were back on that dreaded school schedule. No time to find true passions. She knows this too. It's just what she perceives as the social fun of school is calling out to her.
My husband, who was so against pulling them from school in the first place 3 years ago, said he had a stomachache and heartache when we told him of the school thoughts. He just loves having them home now.
Anyway, I'm prepared to have this experience be 'hers', but I also want to continue to "parent" her. I don't want her to feel I've abandoned her because I don't really want her to go to school.
In her life at home, she asks me to read to her, do "math work" with her (she's fascinated with fractions at the moment and she loves the Life of Fred math series), study countries, states, people with her. We do lots of *around the world* nights, science fairs, art fairs, etc, with our homeschool group, and she always asks me to do the projects with her. She says she's going to miss all this immensely if she goes to school.
So, when she's in school and she comes to me saying "we have this book for homework, will you read it to me?" (or help her with her math sheets she'll be getting, etc), how do I handle this? I want to say that she has to do it herself, because this is her experience. She will probably say (or think), "you did these things with me when we homeschooled, and now you won't because I'm in school." This is what I'm struggling with. I know I'm forecasting the future here, but this was our past life in school, and the past 3 years of them being home, so I can foresee it being the same when she tries school again.
any words of wisdom would be very appreciated.
Pam Sorooshian
On Sat, Jan 28, 2012 at 10:31 AM, Liz <lizjane68@...> wrote:
over you. It sounds like you're saying, "I'll let you go but you'll be
sorry because I won't do things with you if you go."
Don't get yourself and your own ego wrapped up in her schooling. Don't
become the dreaded enforcer of all the school stuff at home. But don't
disengage from her. There is a big distance between you being that intense
school mother you described yourself as, previously, versus being
supportive and helpful to your child.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> So, when she's in school and she comes to me saying "we have this book forThat is mean spirited, imo. It sounds like revenge for her choosing school
> homework, will you read it to me?" (or help her with her math sheets she'll
> be getting, etc), how do I handle this? I want to say that she has to do it
> herself, because this is her experience.
over you. It sounds like you're saying, "I'll let you go but you'll be
sorry because I won't do things with you if you go."
Don't get yourself and your own ego wrapped up in her schooling. Don't
become the dreaded enforcer of all the school stuff at home. But don't
disengage from her. There is a big distance between you being that intense
school mother you described yourself as, previously, versus being
supportive and helpful to your child.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Liz
Pam, thank you for your reply. Yes, you're right. It does feel and sound 'mean', and I don't want to do that.
I have to find that middle ground. I honestly don't know what it is. When I went to school, my parents (and everyone's parents I knew) were completely hands-off. My parents never once asked us if our homework was done. Never, ever checked our homework (this was in the 70's and early 80's). My brothers got by in school w/ c's and d's, I did well and got a's and b's, and generally enjoyed school.
My kids previous private school ask us parents to by hyper-involved in their schooling. That was one of the things that led me to homeschooling. I was tired of the teachers asking us parents to teach the kids their multiplication tables at home (in the evenings and on the weekends), and assigning all these silly at home projects, that no child could possibly do on their own, so they were 'parent' projects. I felt like "you're asking me to educate my child, so I will", and I pulled them from school, and they've been blossoming ever since.
I do have to find that middle ground. I was hoping for some examples, like I needed when I first pulled my kids from school "how does your family homeschool exactly?" Those examples helped me so much. Same with all of Sandra's essays in "moving a puddle"... the specific ideas of unschooling given are such a help. I'm picturing her homework and projects being put off, and her asking for my help at 10pm, which is not something I'd want to do. (I'm asleep by 10pm most nights). On the other hand, I want to support her, be her partner, be her mom. I need some examples of that wonderful 'middle ground', because I don't have any in my real life.
I have to find that middle ground. I honestly don't know what it is. When I went to school, my parents (and everyone's parents I knew) were completely hands-off. My parents never once asked us if our homework was done. Never, ever checked our homework (this was in the 70's and early 80's). My brothers got by in school w/ c's and d's, I did well and got a's and b's, and generally enjoyed school.
My kids previous private school ask us parents to by hyper-involved in their schooling. That was one of the things that led me to homeschooling. I was tired of the teachers asking us parents to teach the kids their multiplication tables at home (in the evenings and on the weekends), and assigning all these silly at home projects, that no child could possibly do on their own, so they were 'parent' projects. I felt like "you're asking me to educate my child, so I will", and I pulled them from school, and they've been blossoming ever since.
I do have to find that middle ground. I was hoping for some examples, like I needed when I first pulled my kids from school "how does your family homeschool exactly?" Those examples helped me so much. Same with all of Sandra's essays in "moving a puddle"... the specific ideas of unschooling given are such a help. I'm picturing her homework and projects being put off, and her asking for my help at 10pm, which is not something I'd want to do. (I'm asleep by 10pm most nights). On the other hand, I want to support her, be her partner, be her mom. I need some examples of that wonderful 'middle ground', because I don't have any in my real life.
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>
> On Sat, Jan 28, 2012 at 10:31 AM, Liz <lizjane68@...> wrote:
>
> > So, when she's in school and she comes to me saying "we have this book for
> > homework, will you read it to me?" (or help her with her math sheets she'll
> > be getting, etc), how do I handle this? I want to say that she has to do it
> > herself, because this is her experience.
>
>
> That is mean spirited, imo. It sounds like revenge for her choosing school
> over you. It sounds like you're saying, "I'll let you go but you'll be
> sorry because I won't do things with you if you go."
>
> Don't get yourself and your own ego wrapped up in her schooling. Don't
> become the dreaded enforcer of all the school stuff at home. But don't
> disengage from her. There is a big distance between you being that intense
> school mother you described yourself as, previously, versus being
> supportive and helpful to your child.
>
> -pam
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=- I told her she first has to get herself on the would-be school schedule for a few weeks, of waking up at 6am and getting herself ready for the bus which comes past our house at 6:50am. I don't want to enroll her in school, talk to the office (who have been wonderful with us in our homeschooling journey), have everything set, and have her not show up. -=-
-=-I told her she first has to ...-=-
She didn't "have to"--you made up a rule for her, and it sounds punitive. It sounds like you are making her jump through arbitrary hoops of your creation. When someone wakes up at 4:00 to go on a road trip,they don't "have to" wake up early for a few weeks to learn to do that. When someone's going fishing or camping, or stays up all night one night for a slumber party, they don't "have to" practice that.
-=- She really wishes it was a part time thing, so she could do both school and be at home. I also think she thinks it will be one big fun-fest. -=-
Maybe it WILL be a big fun-fest for her. I hope you haven't told her "this is not going to be one big fun-fest."
-=-She's grown soooo much as a person, and discovered things she loves, that I just know wouldn't have had the opportunity to surface if we were back on that dreaded school schedule. No time to find true passions.-=-
"Dreaded" is your word, right?
You're drenching this in negativity, I think.
"True passions"? Unschooling doesn't require "true passions." Is there a "true" passion that's better than a regular passion? Some people are true dabblers. :-) Generalists for life.
-=My husband, who was so against pulling them from school in the first place 3 years ago, said he had a stomachache and heartache when we told him of the school thoughts. He just loves having them home now. -=-
Is he aware that lots of kids have tried school and come back in a few months, or a month, or a week?
-=-Anyway, I'm prepared to have this experience be 'hers', but I also want to continue to "parent" her. -=-
If you think of parenting as enforcement, you do have yourself a dilemma. If you think of parenting as being supportive and facilitating what she wants to do, the problem dissolves.
-=- She will probably say (or think), "you did these things with me when we homeschooled, and now you won't because I'm in school." This is what I'm struggling with. I know I'm forecasting the future here, but this was our past life in school, and the past 3 years of them being home, so I can foresee it being the same when she tries school again.-=-
Never in your post did you use the term "unschooling." If you were unschoolers, school would be very different. As you're involved in a homeschooling group, though, with lots of projects and math that you "do" and the outline of school, then school-at-school isn't very different from school-at-home.
Given that, then, you probably should help her with projects if she asks for help. But it could be her initiation, on getting help, rather than yours, and that would make a difference. If she knows you don't have a huge preference for her getting an A over a C, she might feel less pressure in school.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-I told her she first has to ...-=-
She didn't "have to"--you made up a rule for her, and it sounds punitive. It sounds like you are making her jump through arbitrary hoops of your creation. When someone wakes up at 4:00 to go on a road trip,they don't "have to" wake up early for a few weeks to learn to do that. When someone's going fishing or camping, or stays up all night one night for a slumber party, they don't "have to" practice that.
-=- She really wishes it was a part time thing, so she could do both school and be at home. I also think she thinks it will be one big fun-fest. -=-
Maybe it WILL be a big fun-fest for her. I hope you haven't told her "this is not going to be one big fun-fest."
-=-She's grown soooo much as a person, and discovered things she loves, that I just know wouldn't have had the opportunity to surface if we were back on that dreaded school schedule. No time to find true passions.-=-
"Dreaded" is your word, right?
You're drenching this in negativity, I think.
"True passions"? Unschooling doesn't require "true passions." Is there a "true" passion that's better than a regular passion? Some people are true dabblers. :-) Generalists for life.
-=My husband, who was so against pulling them from school in the first place 3 years ago, said he had a stomachache and heartache when we told him of the school thoughts. He just loves having them home now. -=-
Is he aware that lots of kids have tried school and come back in a few months, or a month, or a week?
-=-Anyway, I'm prepared to have this experience be 'hers', but I also want to continue to "parent" her. -=-
If you think of parenting as enforcement, you do have yourself a dilemma. If you think of parenting as being supportive and facilitating what she wants to do, the problem dissolves.
-=- She will probably say (or think), "you did these things with me when we homeschooled, and now you won't because I'm in school." This is what I'm struggling with. I know I'm forecasting the future here, but this was our past life in school, and the past 3 years of them being home, so I can foresee it being the same when she tries school again.-=-
Never in your post did you use the term "unschooling." If you were unschoolers, school would be very different. As you're involved in a homeschooling group, though, with lots of projects and math that you "do" and the outline of school, then school-at-school isn't very different from school-at-home.
Given that, then, you probably should help her with projects if she asks for help. But it could be her initiation, on getting help, rather than yours, and that would make a difference. If she knows you don't have a huge preference for her getting an A over a C, she might feel less pressure in school.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jan 28, 2012, at 3:26 PM, Liz wrote:
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> When I went to school, my parents (and everyone's parentsBoth of those statements are about what school wants of kids. Don't look for a middle ground between giving the school zero support and hyper support. Give your *daughter* what *she* wants. If she wants you to read, read to her. If she wants you to look over her homework, look over her homework. Disengage from *school* not from your daughter.
> I knew) were completely hands-off. ... My kids previous
> private school ask us parents to by hyper-involved in their schooling.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Liz
thank you Joyce... yes, you're right. It was about what the schools wanted. My kids certainly didn't want to be drilled with multiplication flash cards.
I will look at it that way... not disengaging from my daughter, but disengaging from the school itself. If she wants me to read her the book the school assigned, it's no different than the book she picked off of our shelf.
I just don't know what to do when the school literally says "hey parents, teach your kids *this* for us". Maybe this all won't even be an issue anymore because she's older. I don't know if the middle schools literally ask the parents for help the way they did when they were younger. Maybe I'm blowing it all up (I know, many of you are now saying "MAYBE?????").
Obviously, this is hard for me. Thank you all for your answers.
I will look at it that way... not disengaging from my daughter, but disengaging from the school itself. If she wants me to read her the book the school assigned, it's no different than the book she picked off of our shelf.
I just don't know what to do when the school literally says "hey parents, teach your kids *this* for us". Maybe this all won't even be an issue anymore because she's older. I don't know if the middle schools literally ask the parents for help the way they did when they were younger. Maybe I'm blowing it all up (I know, many of you are now saying "MAYBE?????").
Obviously, this is hard for me. Thank you all for your answers.
--- In [email protected], Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...> wrote:
>
>
> On Jan 28, 2012, at 3:26 PM, Liz wrote:
>
> > When I went to school, my parents (and everyone's parents
> > I knew) were completely hands-off. ... My kids previous
> > private school ask us parents to by hyper-involved in their schooling.
>
> Both of those statements are about what school wants of kids. Don't look for a middle ground between giving the school zero support and hyper support. Give your *daughter* what *she* wants. If she wants you to read, read to her. If she wants you to look over her homework, look over her homework. Disengage from *school* not from your daughter.
>
> Joyce
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Liz
thank you Sandra, for all of that. I have already told her I don't care about "grades", but I will make sure I continue to make sure she understands that and truly feels it.
She is the one who wants to sign up for all the activities with our homeschool groups. She loves the interaction w/ the other kids and parents, and to show her artwork, science experiments, etc. My son signs up for some here and there, and is always welcome to come with us, and sometimes does and sometimes doesn't. His choice. He doesn't care about 'showing', whereas she loves it. So in my heart, I do think she'll enjoy certain aspects of school. I guess I'm just sad, selfishly. Our family life has grown into something so wonderful since they kids came back home. Whereas it was not so wonderful when the kids were in school. It was so incredibly hectic, rushed, with little quality or quantity time together. But now I'm seeing that it must not be as wonderful for my daughter as it is for me. She's a different person, with different needs than me.
In reading everyone's responses and typing this out, I can see now that the past "pressure" I felt as a school-mom will be gone, since that no longer exists in me. Back then, I felt lots of pressure about them learning the "right" things, on the timetable of school. Now I don't care, and disagree w/ a lot of it. Back then, I didn't know that kids will just learn if you leave them alone.
I will simply be there for my daughter, and help her with what she asks me, and leave the rest alone.
She is the one who wants to sign up for all the activities with our homeschool groups. She loves the interaction w/ the other kids and parents, and to show her artwork, science experiments, etc. My son signs up for some here and there, and is always welcome to come with us, and sometimes does and sometimes doesn't. His choice. He doesn't care about 'showing', whereas she loves it. So in my heart, I do think she'll enjoy certain aspects of school. I guess I'm just sad, selfishly. Our family life has grown into something so wonderful since they kids came back home. Whereas it was not so wonderful when the kids were in school. It was so incredibly hectic, rushed, with little quality or quantity time together. But now I'm seeing that it must not be as wonderful for my daughter as it is for me. She's a different person, with different needs than me.
In reading everyone's responses and typing this out, I can see now that the past "pressure" I felt as a school-mom will be gone, since that no longer exists in me. Back then, I felt lots of pressure about them learning the "right" things, on the timetable of school. Now I don't care, and disagree w/ a lot of it. Back then, I didn't know that kids will just learn if you leave them alone.
I will simply be there for my daughter, and help her with what she asks me, and leave the rest alone.
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=- I told her she first has to get herself on the would-be school schedule for a few weeks, of waking up at 6am and getting herself ready for the bus which comes past our house at 6:50am. I don't want to enroll her in school, talk to the office (who have been wonderful with us in our homeschooling journey), have everything set, and have her not show up. -=-
>
> -=-I told her she first has to ...-=-
>
> She didn't "have to"--you made up a rule for her, and it sounds punitive. It sounds like you are making her jump through arbitrary hoops of your creation. When someone wakes up at 4:00 to go on a road trip,they don't "have to" wake up early for a few weeks to learn to do that. When someone's going fishing or camping, or stays up all night one night for a slumber party, they don't "have to" practice that.
>
> -=- She really wishes it was a part time thing, so she could do both school and be at home. I also think she thinks it will be one big fun-fest. -=-
>
> Maybe it WILL be a big fun-fest for her. I hope you haven't told her "this is not going to be one big fun-fest."
>
> -=-She's grown soooo much as a person, and discovered things she loves, that I just know wouldn't have had the opportunity to surface if we were back on that dreaded school schedule. No time to find true passions.-=-
>
> "Dreaded" is your word, right?
> You're drenching this in negativity, I think.
>
> "True passions"? Unschooling doesn't require "true passions." Is there a "true" passion that's better than a regular passion? Some people are true dabblers. :-) Generalists for life.
>
> -=My husband, who was so against pulling them from school in the first place 3 years ago, said he had a stomachache and heartache when we told him of the school thoughts. He just loves having them home now. -=-
>
> Is he aware that lots of kids have tried school and come back in a few months, or a month, or a week?
>
> -=-Anyway, I'm prepared to have this experience be 'hers', but I also want to continue to "parent" her. -=-
>
> If you think of parenting as enforcement, you do have yourself a dilemma. If you think of parenting as being supportive and facilitating what she wants to do, the problem dissolves.
>
> -=- She will probably say (or think), "you did these things with me when we homeschooled, and now you won't because I'm in school." This is what I'm struggling with. I know I'm forecasting the future here, but this was our past life in school, and the past 3 years of them being home, so I can foresee it being the same when she tries school again.-=-
>
> Never in your post did you use the term "unschooling." If you were unschoolers, school would be very different. As you're involved in a homeschooling group, though, with lots of projects and math that you "do" and the outline of school, then school-at-school isn't very different from school-at-home.
>
> Given that, then, you probably should help her with projects if she asks for help. But it could be her initiation, on getting help, rather than yours, and that would make a difference. If she knows you don't have a huge preference for her getting an A over a C, she might feel less pressure in school.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Pam Sorooshian
On Sat, Jan 28, 2012 at 1:36 PM, Liz <lizjane68@...> wrote:
I guess I'm just sad, selfishly.
I would be too. Get over it. Get over it by focusing on helping her have
the best experience possible.
I wonder, though, if she's really committed to wanting to go to school? It
didn't sound like that from your first post. Could you possible arrange for
her to visit for a week?
Her vision of the social aspects might be very wrong...she might be
frustrated by being in the presence of other kids but not allowed to
socialize with them during classes.
She could get a better sense of what it would be like if she could go for a
few days or a week. Even just a one-day visit would be helpful.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jan 28, 2012, at 4:21 PM, Liz wrote:
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I just don't know what to do when the school literallyIf you disengage from the school what does it matter what they ask you to do? The answer is: "Does your daughter want your help with learning that."
> says "hey parents, teach your kids *this* for us"
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
Earlier I said to get your own ego out of this. This is what I meant...do
not care more about what the school people think about you than you do
about your relationship with your daughter. Think a whole lot more about
what SHE thinks of you and prioritize that versus what her teacher or
school administrator or other parents think.
-pam
not care more about what the school people think about you than you do
about your relationship with your daughter. Think a whole lot more about
what SHE thinks of you and prioritize that versus what her teacher or
school administrator or other parents think.
-pam
On Sat, Jan 28, 2012 at 2:10 PM, Joyce Fetteroll <jfetteroll@...>wrote:
> If you disengage from the school what does it matter what they ask you to
> do? The answer is: "Does your daughter want your help with learning that."
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Liz
Pam, thank you!! I was planning on asking for a 'tour' for her and I first, then if she could shadow someone for a day in her grade. But if they would allow a shadow for a few days (a week would be so awesome!), that would be so much better. I didn't even think of that, and I will ask. Brilliant idea!
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>
> On Sat, Jan 28, 2012 at 1:36 PM, Liz <lizjane68@...> wrote:
>
> I guess I'm just sad, selfishly.
>
>
> I would be too. Get over it. Get over it by focusing on helping her have
> the best experience possible.
>
> I wonder, though, if she's really committed to wanting to go to school? It
> didn't sound like that from your first post. Could you possible arrange for
> her to visit for a week?
>
> Her vision of the social aspects might be very wrong...she might be
> frustrated by being in the presence of other kids but not allowed to
> socialize with them during classes.
>
> She could get a better sense of what it would be like if she could go for a
> few days or a week. Even just a one-day visit would be helpful.
>
> -pam
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Kristen
I don't know what state/country laws apply to you, but the two school districts we've lived in recently (1 in Nebraska and currently Department of Defense schools in Japan) allow homeschoolers to enroll part-time. Some older kids in our homeschool group attend just math or science classes, some stay for lunch, some don't, some attend classes like debate or special class times for athletics. Maybe you could arrange something like that so she can get plenty of socializing time AND plenty of family time?
-Kristen
-Kristen
--- In [email protected], "Liz" <lizjane68@...> wrote:
>
> Pam, thank you!! I was planning on asking for a 'tour' for her and I first, then if she could shadow someone for a day in her grade. But if they would allow a shadow for a few days (a week would be so awesome!), that would be so much better. I didn't even think of that, and I will ask. Brilliant idea!
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@> wrote:
> >
> > On Sat, Jan 28, 2012 at 1:36 PM, Liz <lizjane68@> wrote:
> >
> > I guess I'm just sad, selfishly.
> >
> >
> > I would be too. Get over it. Get over it by focusing on helping her have
> > the best experience possible.
> >
> > I wonder, though, if she's really committed to wanting to go to school? It
> > didn't sound like that from your first post. Could you possible arrange for
> > her to visit for a week?
> >
> > Her vision of the social aspects might be very wrong...she might be
> > frustrated by being in the presence of other kids but not allowed to
> > socialize with them during classes.
> >
> > She could get a better sense of what it would be like if she could go for a
> > few days or a week. Even just a one-day visit would be helpful.
> >
> > -pam
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jan 29, 2012, at 2:13 AM, Kristen wrote:
Enrolling for a couple of classes isn't the same as being able to attend one week and off the next! ;-) But if she can take 1 or 2 classes she's interested in she might be able to stay long enough to get from school what she wants from it before the annoyances of it overwhelm her.
Joyce
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> but the two school districts we've lived in recently ...Yes, the same here in some towns in MA. Homeschoolers can take up to 3 classes. (If they want more they need to enroll full time.) Homeschoolers can even compete on school sports teams.
> allow homeschoolers to enroll part-time.
Enrolling for a couple of classes isn't the same as being able to attend one week and off the next! ;-) But if she can take 1 or 2 classes she's interested in she might be able to stay long enough to get from school what she wants from it before the annoyances of it overwhelm her.
Joyce
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Meredith
> On Jan 29, 2012, at 2:13 AM, Kristen wrote:Sometimes homeschoolers can participate in after-school programs and clubs, too. It can depend on the district and even the school - you might want to check with local private schools about things like after school programs and sports if the public schools say no. Private schools can also save you from dealing with the issue of "you don't live in this district".
>
> > but the two school districts we've lived in recently ...
> > allow homeschoolers to enroll part-time.
---Meredith
Sylvia Woodman
When I was in school in the 1980s I had friends who were in other towns.
The school schedule varied a bit from town to town and sometimes we would
get permission to visit another school for a day when our school was
closed. For me it was fun seeing other kids lockers, seeing which school
books were the same, and what was served in the cafeteria. I wonder if
something like that could be arranged for your daughter. She could get an
idea of school without having to actually enroll.
All the best,
Sylvia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The school schedule varied a bit from town to town and sometimes we would
get permission to visit another school for a day when our school was
closed. For me it was fun seeing other kids lockers, seeing which school
books were the same, and what was served in the cafeteria. I wonder if
something like that could be arranged for your daughter. She could get an
idea of school without having to actually enroll.
All the best,
Sylvia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]