Additional Co-Sleeping Question...
AshleahD
I was reading the co-sleeping question, but I have an additional question...
I'm the mother to 3 co-sleeping boys (4, 2 and 3 months). We did purchase our older 2 boys their own beds in their bedrooms, but they have no desire to sleep in them, unless we are sleeping with them in the actual bed - which we are completely fine with.
I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
I'm the mother to 3 co-sleeping boys (4, 2 and 3 months). We did purchase our older 2 boys their own beds in their bedrooms, but they have no desire to sleep in them, unless we are sleeping with them in the actual bed - which we are completely fine with.
I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
Tress Miles
I don't know the answer to your question. It's probably individual for
each child. My daughter is 9 and is still sleeping with me and has no wish
to stop.
Tress
each child. My daughter is 9 and is still sleeping with me and has no wish
to stop.
Tress
On Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 8:45 AM, AshleahD <ashleah_dumdei@...> wrote:
> **
>
>
> I was reading the co-sleeping question, but I have an additional
> question...
>
> I'm the mother to 3 co-sleeping boys (4, 2 and 3 months). We did purchase
> our older 2 boys their own beds in their bedrooms, but they have no desire
> to sleep in them, unless we are sleeping with them in the actual bed -
> which we are completely fine with.
>
> I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop
> co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to
> even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
My daughter is five and she has just started sleeping in a single bed next to our bed. She has her own room which she plays in but has never slept in. Until recently my husband slept in the single and we slept in the double.
There have been a couple of nights when she has come in for a snuggle in the middle of the night but has then returned to the single mattress. She doesn't fall asleep on her own. I lie in bed with her until she falls asleep and then go into our bed.
This could be temporary as she has wanted to do this before and has then changed her mind.
Rachel (40)
Leila (5)
There have been a couple of nights when she has come in for a snuggle in the middle of the night but has then returned to the single mattress. She doesn't fall asleep on her own. I lie in bed with her until she falls asleep and then go into our bed.
This could be temporary as she has wanted to do this before and has then changed her mind.
Rachel (40)
Leila (5)
On 23 Jan 2012, at 16:45, "AshleahD" <ashleah_dumdei@...> wrote:
> I was reading the co-sleeping question, but I have an additional question...
>
> I'm the mother to 3 co-sleeping boys (4, 2 and 3 months). We did purchase our older 2 boys their own beds in their bedrooms, but they have no desire to sleep in them, unless we are sleeping with them in the actual bed - which we are completely fine with.
>
> I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
Kim Thorvaldson
I did it a little differently with all three of my co-sleeping kids. My twin daughters co-slept until about 4. When they were about 18 months old, I got them beds for their room. They picked out their own special sheets with their favorite characters on them, and we put all their stuffed animals in the beds. They loved it! They napped in there during the day, initially. I would lay in the bed and "nurse them down". Eventually, after they weaned a few months later, they started napping in there by choice because they felt secure. They were never pushed. We read stories and enjoyed back rubs and such. By about 2 1/2, I started incorporating their beds into our night time routine. Same thing...bath, stories in their beds, back rubs, etc. At first, I only did this maybe once or twice a week. No rush. When they woke up during the night in their natural rhythm, they would climb in my bed (I put LOTS of night lights in the outlets between their room and mine). This lasted until they were 4. They are 7 now, and have had no difficulty at all. I think the gradual, secure change made all the difference.
My 2 1/2 year old daughter slept in a co-sleeper initially because my husband worried that he would roll over on her if she were between us. She often slept in my arms on my side of the bed. When she outgrew the co-sleeper, we bought a small kids' mattress at Ikea to put on the floor next to our bed. She would either sleep there or in my arms. For Christmas, she got a toddler bed that we decked out in her favorite princess sheets. She was SO EXCITED about her princess bed. It is in the corner of our bedroom. She loves sleeping there. She often crawls in bed with me during the night. Because she is little, and her natural sleep pattern still causes her to wake up during the night, I'm in no rush to move her into the big girls' room. I don't want them to be disturbed.
I hope some of this might help you! <3
Kim
-----Original Message-----
From: AshleahD <ashleah_dumdei@...>
To: AlwaysLearning <[email protected]>
Sent: Mon, Jan 23, 2012 8:52 am
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Additional Co-Sleeping Question...
I was reading the co-sleeping question, but I have an additional question...
I'm the mother to 3 co-sleeping boys (4, 2 and 3 months). We did purchase our older 2 boys their own beds in their bedrooms, but they have no desire to sleep in them, unless we are sleeping with them in the actual bed - which we are completely fine with.
I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My 2 1/2 year old daughter slept in a co-sleeper initially because my husband worried that he would roll over on her if she were between us. She often slept in my arms on my side of the bed. When she outgrew the co-sleeper, we bought a small kids' mattress at Ikea to put on the floor next to our bed. She would either sleep there or in my arms. For Christmas, she got a toddler bed that we decked out in her favorite princess sheets. She was SO EXCITED about her princess bed. It is in the corner of our bedroom. She loves sleeping there. She often crawls in bed with me during the night. Because she is little, and her natural sleep pattern still causes her to wake up during the night, I'm in no rush to move her into the big girls' room. I don't want them to be disturbed.
I hope some of this might help you! <3
Kim
-----Original Message-----
From: AshleahD <ashleah_dumdei@...>
To: AlwaysLearning <[email protected]>
Sent: Mon, Jan 23, 2012 8:52 am
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Additional Co-Sleeping Question...
I was reading the co-sleeping question, but I have an additional question...
I'm the mother to 3 co-sleeping boys (4, 2 and 3 months). We did purchase our older 2 boys their own beds in their bedrooms, but they have no desire to sleep in them, unless we are sleeping with them in the actual bed - which we are completely fine with.
I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Kids will move to their own beds when they are ready. My son made the move this past year at 9.
He has had his room since he was a baby but slept with us.
When he was 5 my cousin sold us her son bunk bed that MD had always wanted to have since he was a little guy.
He then slept in his room for about 2 months but came back to our bed until this past year when he started sleeping in his room again.
No drama, no talks, no pushing, it just happened. He was ready.
In my bedroom I have two queen size beds next to each other for me , my husband, my daughter ( who does have her room but never slept there) and my son is welcome anytime he wants. I miss him but I a happy he is so happy.
I wake up every morning around 4 and go in his room to make sure he is covered and the TV is off. I love covering him and making sure he is comfortable.
As for me and my husband time together we just get creative and use all the other rooms in the house. We have a nice guest room with a nice bed!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
He has had his room since he was a baby but slept with us.
When he was 5 my cousin sold us her son bunk bed that MD had always wanted to have since he was a little guy.
He then slept in his room for about 2 months but came back to our bed until this past year when he started sleeping in his room again.
No drama, no talks, no pushing, it just happened. He was ready.
In my bedroom I have two queen size beds next to each other for me , my husband, my daughter ( who does have her room but never slept there) and my son is welcome anytime he wants. I miss him but I a happy he is so happy.
I wake up every morning around 4 and go in his room to make sure he is covered and the TV is off. I love covering him and making sure he is comfortable.
As for me and my husband time together we just get creative and use all the other rooms in the house. We have a nice guest room with a nice bed!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
If you keep flexibly doing what seems comfortable, it will eventually be
that sleeping all in one bed gets less comfortable than sleeping in their
own beds.
In my family it was very gradual...and there was a lot of playing musical
beds throughout the night as different combinations were wanted. Five of us
in one bed was rare - it just wasn't comfortable for anybody, really. But
we had a mattress on the floor beside our bed for years and it wasn't
uncommon for the kids to fall asleep in our bed and then be moved to the
mattress to sleep all night. Sleeping alone in their own beds started
happening off and on as they got to be around five years old...they'd be
tired and we'd go into their room and snuggle up on their bed to read
together or sing or talk and they'd fall asleep. Often they'd get up in the
night and get into our bed, though. And then sometimes, in a while, I would
move them back to their bed if ours got too hot and crowded <G>. Or I would
move to their bed, myself. Sometimes my husband would move to one of the
kid's beds if a kid was restless. I did usually keep the kids sleeping on
the side of me away from my husband because I seemed able to handle
suddenly flailing elbows or feet - would stop them gently and it didn't
disturb me too much - but the kids seemed to inevitably whack him right in
the face or some other sensitive spot if they were sleeping between us.
There was never a time when I could say the kids always slept in their own
beds. Even after ten or eleven years old there were many times that a kid
might crawl into bed with us during the night.
I never talked with them about any of this. It just all happened very
naturally based on what was comfortable and enjoyable. There were times my
husband needed an undisturbed night's sleep and I'd make sure he got it by
me going to sleep with the kids in another room.
Sometimes we fell asleep - all five of us - watching a movie in our
bedroom, all squished together in the same bed. Usually I'd wake up
overheated and I'd move a kid or two to the mattress on the floor so that
we could all be comfy.
It seemed very normal to my husband to have children around us during the
night. He is from Iran and in his home town, at least, entire extended
families slept in the one heated room during the winter and on the cooler
roof in the summer. They had thick mats that were rolled up during the day
and pulled out to sleep on.
My 27-year-old is married and lives in her own house (around the corner
from ours). My 24-year-old is living in a sorority house at her university.
Our 21-year-old is right now sleeping in her own bed in her own room (but
she did fall asleep in the living room last night and slept there for many
hours). She will still occasionally come crawl into bed to talk with me
after my husband leaves for work.
that sleeping all in one bed gets less comfortable than sleeping in their
own beds.
In my family it was very gradual...and there was a lot of playing musical
beds throughout the night as different combinations were wanted. Five of us
in one bed was rare - it just wasn't comfortable for anybody, really. But
we had a mattress on the floor beside our bed for years and it wasn't
uncommon for the kids to fall asleep in our bed and then be moved to the
mattress to sleep all night. Sleeping alone in their own beds started
happening off and on as they got to be around five years old...they'd be
tired and we'd go into their room and snuggle up on their bed to read
together or sing or talk and they'd fall asleep. Often they'd get up in the
night and get into our bed, though. And then sometimes, in a while, I would
move them back to their bed if ours got too hot and crowded <G>. Or I would
move to their bed, myself. Sometimes my husband would move to one of the
kid's beds if a kid was restless. I did usually keep the kids sleeping on
the side of me away from my husband because I seemed able to handle
suddenly flailing elbows or feet - would stop them gently and it didn't
disturb me too much - but the kids seemed to inevitably whack him right in
the face or some other sensitive spot if they were sleeping between us.
There was never a time when I could say the kids always slept in their own
beds. Even after ten or eleven years old there were many times that a kid
might crawl into bed with us during the night.
I never talked with them about any of this. It just all happened very
naturally based on what was comfortable and enjoyable. There were times my
husband needed an undisturbed night's sleep and I'd make sure he got it by
me going to sleep with the kids in another room.
Sometimes we fell asleep - all five of us - watching a movie in our
bedroom, all squished together in the same bed. Usually I'd wake up
overheated and I'd move a kid or two to the mattress on the floor so that
we could all be comfy.
It seemed very normal to my husband to have children around us during the
night. He is from Iran and in his home town, at least, entire extended
families slept in the one heated room during the winter and on the cooler
roof in the summer. They had thick mats that were rolled up during the day
and pulled out to sleep on.
My 27-year-old is married and lives in her own house (around the corner
from ours). My 24-year-old is living in a sorority house at her university.
Our 21-year-old is right now sleeping in her own bed in her own room (but
she did fall asleep in the living room last night and slept there for many
hours). She will still occasionally come crawl into bed to talk with me
after my husband leaves for work.
On Mon, Jan 23, 2012 at 5:45 AM, AshleahD <ashleah_dumdei@...> wrote:
> I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop
> co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to
> even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cathymorgan25
I think they sleep in their rooms when they are ready to. Our 13 yr old started recently sleeping most of the time in her room. She just suddenly decided that she wanted to sleep there! Our 11 and 10 yr olds are with us every night unless they have a friend over.
Cathy
Cathy
--- In [email protected], "AshleahD" <ashleah_dumdei@...> wrote:
>
> I was reading the co-sleeping question, but I have an additional question...
>
> I'm the mother to 3 co-sleeping boys (4, 2 and 3 months). We did purchase our older 2 boys their own beds in their bedrooms, but they have no desire to sleep in them, unless we are sleeping with them in the actual bed - which we are completely fine with.
>
> I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
>
sebrina w
I have 4 kids ages 11, 10, 8 and 5 and my experience has been that at about 9-10 both my older boys stopped coming to us at night. My 8 year old comes to us only about 5 nights a week now and my 5 year old comes every night :)
Sebrina
Sebrina
--- In [email protected], "AshleahD" <ashleah_dumdei@...> wrote:
>
> I was reading the co-sleeping question, but I have an additional question...
>
> I'm the mother to 3 co-sleeping boys (4, 2 and 3 months). We did purchase our older 2 boys their own beds in their bedrooms, but they have no desire to sleep in them, unless we are sleeping with them in the actual bed - which we are completely fine with.
>
> I just wondered, in others experience, when does a child normally stop co-sleeping? I'd like for it to be child led and wondered if we need to even discuss it with them or if they will come to the desire on their own??
>
unschoolingmom66
My sons are ages 11 (almost 12) and 14 and sleep in the same room with me and DH. Through the years while the boys were little we had all sorts of sleeping arrangements. My oldest slept in the bed with me and DH until my second son came along. Then we slept (for a number of years) in two separate rooms. I was in one room with one child, and hubby in another room with the other. For the last few years we have all been in one room. Hubby and I sleep in the king sized bed and my boys have bunk beds in our room. Still, at times ,my youngest likes to come into our bed because he wants to cuddle (and falls asleep there) . At different times the boys have talked about 'someday' moving into a room together. So far that has not happened because one or the other of them still wants to be in our room, so the other decides to stay too. A couple of weeks ago (while we were on vacation ) my oldest son mentioned that he might be ready to have his own room. He is a light sleeper and is prone to having someone in the room accidently wake him up. He feels he would get better sleep by himself. I told him I would be happy to help arrange that for him and that we could figure out which room he would like to use, etc., when we returned from our vacation. We've been back a week now and the subject hasn't been brought up again (smile) so I may ask him if he is still thinking of moving into his own space....whatever he wants is fine. Maybe he will try it out and change his mind and come back to our room. I have found that having them in the room until they feel ready to have their own space (or not) has given us all a sense of security . It started because it made sense from a nursing standpoint to co-sleep. It felt safe and comfortable to have the babies close and made things easier. As the months (and then years) ticked by there seemed no reason to change. We never suffered the anxiety of letting them 'cry it out' so they could learn to sleep in their own rooms. The boys never suffered anxiety about sleeping alone or were worried about scary things in the closet (I remember going to my mother's room every night for YEARS because i was afraid of the dark or what was in my closet). Now my boys are thinking of moving into their own space but its their idea. I support whatever they are comfortable with at this point. I have no regrets about the co-sleeping. Soon enough they will have their own lives and their own families and their own homes. For our family this arrangement has been a positive one and I would do things the exact same way if I had more children.