Re: [AlwaysLearning] Teenage/trust/respect
The Mowery Family
> Trust. It's all about trust.Trust, is a good thing, what about respect. I am the step mother of 2 teens
>
> Karen
>
(16 and 14yog) and I am well aware of the sexual urge/desire whatever.
However, I trust them to make an informed decision. With that trust comes
along with respect. I expect them to respect my wishes. I had a rule, my
husbands grandmother had a rule (with Joe and I) and it will be in force in
my house. You sleep(with your partner) in the same bed in MY HOME when you
are married. Does this mean I think you won't have sex any other place,
hell no. Mind you I was one month shy of 21 when became active, I lived in
my parents until a week before I was married(age 24 1/2) ( barring a short
jaunt on my own) and had a curfew until marriage. The curfew was mutually
agreed upon between my parents and I. My parents were light sleepers and my
mother would be up all night worrying if I had been in a wreck, etc. So, to
keep everyone happy we had a time we all agreed with - if I would be late, I
would call. At the time, I was sure it was all about control and my lack of
it. Now, after having children of my own, I completely understand.
The girls and I have had some very frank discussions about sex,
responsibility and respect. And I honestly do believe they respect my
wishes because I came right out with it instead of beating around the bush.
Mutual trust and mutual respect go hand in hand in our home.
Karen Mowery
old fashioned catholic prude <g>
PS - it is so great to see all the old faces on this list, I am happy to be
here.
Joseph Fuerst
> Karen Moweryguess there's still a few of us around!
> old fashioned catholic prude <g>
Tia Leschke
> The curfew was mutuallyI don't know if I would do the curfew thing. I had one when I was a young
>agreed upon between my parents and I. My parents were light sleepers and my
>mother would be up all night worrying if I had been in a wreck, etc. So, to
>keep everyone happy we had a time we all agreed with - if I would be late, I
>would call. At the time, I was sure it was all about control and my lack of
>it. Now, after having children of my own, I completely understand.
teen, but it was very late because of my skating practise time. And that
curfew stuck for any night I was out. My kids have always seen dh and I
calling if we are going to be later than expected. They know I expect the
same from them, but because it's a courtesy to the person sitting at home,
possibly worrying, not a control thing.
I also can't see the need for a specific time every time. More reasonable
would be a certain amount of time after an event to allow for travel time,
or a stop for a bite to eat or whatever. I think courtesy is the most
important thing here.
Tia
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
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Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island