Getting a unworthy, not a great "homeschooling" mom feeling...
unschooling2_2011
I am getting a feeling like I am just not doing enough.. Last"school" year we were busy busy busy with activities, hiking, soccer, swimming and some minor Latin per the boys request.. This year it just seems like they have no interest in anything outside of the home.. Could it be that they got what they needed out of those activities and need some down time?? I get to worrying that they have been on the games and T.V too much.. even though I know they are learning with Minecraft, Terraria, and the Xbox games they play, I am involved with them, learn with them about the games and stay connected.. but every time this time of year I get this feeling.. Like I am being watched by my peers and judged. I start to panic and want to drag out workbooks and what not.( I don't) but have this feeling like I need to..I start to get edgy with the kids about their games and what not.. I hate it..
It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home..
We have not yet connected to a lot of unschoolers here in our area( North of Seattle, Wa).. I have connected online via Yahoo groups and what not but nothing of interest has really come up for my 2 boys.. whom are 12yrs and 10.6yrs old. The group I am connected to has a lot of activities for kids 14 and up it seems.. then the other homeschool group I am part of has a lot of younger kids from 5-8.. so it is like we are stuck in the middle..
Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening..
Kasey
It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home..
We have not yet connected to a lot of unschoolers here in our area( North of Seattle, Wa).. I have connected online via Yahoo groups and what not but nothing of interest has really come up for my 2 boys.. whom are 12yrs and 10.6yrs old. The group I am connected to has a lot of activities for kids 14 and up it seems.. then the other homeschool group I am part of has a lot of younger kids from 5-8.. so it is like we are stuck in the middle..
Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening..
Kasey
Sandra Dodd
-=- but every time this time of year I get this feeling.. Like I am being watched by my peers and judged. I start to panic and want to drag out workbooks and what not.( I don't) but have this feeling like I need to..I start to get edgy with the kids about their games and what not.. I hate it..-=-
Even though children might be deschooled in just a few months, it takes a parent a year or more of conscious effort to recover from all their schooling. If you were in school 13 years and then college, or if you ever taught (even school at home), it will take that much longer. Separate from what your kids are doing, spend some time and energy examining and overcoming the messages and thoughts and memories you have about school, learning, and "have to."
You can do that by being conscious about the decisions you're making, and why you're making them. You can do that while your kids are playing Minecraft. :-)
-=-It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home.. -=-
No, it doesn't help, but she's in New York and you're near Seattle. Send her links to unschooling articles, maybe. There are quite a few here:
http://unschooling.blogspot.com
How long have you been unschooling?
-=-Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening.. -=-
You don't get it off of you by just expressing it, though. Your thoughts and actions will need to change so that it doesn't come back every year, so that you don't continue to have feelings you hate.
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
Even if you've read it and every single link, read some of it again.
Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch.
There is a conference fairly near you in May. Start saving money to go to it.
http://lifeisgoodconference.com/presenters/
(Keith and Holly said I should send a different photo. Holly says I look like I'm going to cry. Keith says my eyes are closed. But they were open, and I was happy, and I liked the rainbowy sunbeams on the strap of my overalls. I guess I'll send a different photo, though.)
Sometimes people say they can't afford conferences, and I know sometimes they can be expensive, but if you can see it as a necessary cost of unschooling, and budget for it, it can make a big difference. If parents were required to take a course after which they would be allowed to homeschool, parents would take those courses and pay money for them. If parents were required to take a test before they were allowed to homeschool, there would be cram schools and coaches and test preparation books and parents would pay for those. School-at-home parents pay money to go to conventions just to get to go into the vendors' halls to spend hundreds of dollars on whichever curriculum they eventually are persuaded they can't live without.
Unschooling doesn't have an $800 curriculum to sell you, so you might consider that attending a conference takes the place of that.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Even though children might be deschooled in just a few months, it takes a parent a year or more of conscious effort to recover from all their schooling. If you were in school 13 years and then college, or if you ever taught (even school at home), it will take that much longer. Separate from what your kids are doing, spend some time and energy examining and overcoming the messages and thoughts and memories you have about school, learning, and "have to."
You can do that by being conscious about the decisions you're making, and why you're making them. You can do that while your kids are playing Minecraft. :-)
-=-It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home.. -=-
No, it doesn't help, but she's in New York and you're near Seattle. Send her links to unschooling articles, maybe. There are quite a few here:
http://unschooling.blogspot.com
How long have you been unschooling?
-=-Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening.. -=-
You don't get it off of you by just expressing it, though. Your thoughts and actions will need to change so that it doesn't come back every year, so that you don't continue to have feelings you hate.
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
Even if you've read it and every single link, read some of it again.
Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch.
There is a conference fairly near you in May. Start saving money to go to it.
http://lifeisgoodconference.com/presenters/
(Keith and Holly said I should send a different photo. Holly says I look like I'm going to cry. Keith says my eyes are closed. But they were open, and I was happy, and I liked the rainbowy sunbeams on the strap of my overalls. I guess I'll send a different photo, though.)
Sometimes people say they can't afford conferences, and I know sometimes they can be expensive, but if you can see it as a necessary cost of unschooling, and budget for it, it can make a big difference. If parents were required to take a course after which they would be allowed to homeschool, parents would take those courses and pay money for them. If parents were required to take a test before they were allowed to homeschool, there would be cram schools and coaches and test preparation books and parents would pay for those. School-at-home parents pay money to go to conventions just to get to go into the vendors' halls to spend hundreds of dollars on whichever curriculum they eventually are persuaded they can't live without.
Unschooling doesn't have an $800 curriculum to sell you, so you might consider that attending a conference takes the place of that.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Claire
>>>>>>>>>> Last"school" year we were busy busy busy with activities, hiking, soccer, swimming and some minor Latin per the boys request.. This year it just seems like they have no interest in anything outside of the home. >>>>>>>>>>>>>It doesn't help to think in terms of the school year. The calendar year is almost at an end - make a New Year's resolution to drop all thought of academic years and grade levels. Focus on this moment right here and now.
>>>>>>>>> Could it be that they got what they needed out of those activities and need some down time??>>>>>>>>>>>>>We have moved over the past 2 years from a very full week of scheduled activities (swimming, music group, play group, horse-riding) to no paid activities at all. We still have various unschooling meet-ups and playdates 3 times a week, but have gradually shed all our structured programs. If the kids were interested I would have no problem starting up one or more structured activities again, but for now this more relaxed approach is suiting us very well.
More deschooling, more confidence, will allow you to see the wonderful learning that can unfold naturally when kids are given the scope and support to pursue their interests outside of a formal setting.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>but every time this time of year I get this feeling.. Like I am being watched by my peers and judged. I start to panic and want to drag out workbooks and what not.( I don't) but have this feeling like I need to..I start to get edgy with the kids about their games and what not.. I hate it..>>>>>>>>>>>>>It's possible your peers are looking at your homeschooling methods and making comparisons and judgements about what you do (I think most people do that to some degree). It's also possible that the judgement is coming from schoolish thoughts in your own head. The fact that you want to drag out workbooks says to me that you still don't trust that kids can learn exciting and important things outside of a structured setting. And see how the edginess starts to create a wedge in your relationship with your kids?
Still, it is good to reflect on how you are going as an unschooling parent. Maybe there is more you could be doing. Maybe if there aren't many unschoolers in your area you could help your kids to find friends through other means - did they make friends with anyone at soccer or swimming that you could see outside school hours?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home..>>>>>>>>One approach might be to frame your answers to her questions in academic terms. Give her examples of your children's learning that fit in a more formal paradigm. Highlight the literacy and numeracy aspects of their gaming. Don't trivialise their computer time as 'just playing'; say instead that they are working to achieve their goals.
With time and a concerted effort to deschool yourself, you'll come to understand and value natural learning more and more, and your fear of others' judgement will fade. When parents and kids are really on the same team it becomes pretty obvious.
Claire
Melbourne, Australia
NCMama
=-=We have not yet connected to a lot of unschoolers here in our area( North of Seattle, Wa).. I have connected online via Yahoo groups and what not but nothing of interest has really come up for my 2 boys.. whom are 12yrs and 10.6yrs old.=-=
Start your own activity! I'm going to start a gaming day here, after Christmas, twice a month. Our house is small, and we have pets so people with allergies can't come, and often our space is messy. We don't have much of a kitchen, and just a teeny-tiny kitchen table, no dining table. All of those things (and more) kept me from doing that before now - but my kids' needs to connect with others close to us trump all of that. We have several working TVs, several game systems, we can order pizza. I can borrow one of those big folding tables so if someone wants to play a board game, we have a space to do that - even if that space is rather squeezed in!
What are your kids into? There's a family here that has Pokemon club once a month, and someone else has Lego days at their house. Start a once-a-month gathering. "If you build it, they will come." Commit to having it regularly, even if very few people show up initially.
There are LOTS of unschoolers in your area - I bet there are some just waiting for someone to post something, like you have been waiting!
You also might consider going to an unschooling gathering or event even if your kids aren't completely excited about going - getting out and meeting others starts with getting out and meeting others! You can let your kids know if they're really not liking being there, you'll leave, but why not try?
peace,
Caren
Start your own activity! I'm going to start a gaming day here, after Christmas, twice a month. Our house is small, and we have pets so people with allergies can't come, and often our space is messy. We don't have much of a kitchen, and just a teeny-tiny kitchen table, no dining table. All of those things (and more) kept me from doing that before now - but my kids' needs to connect with others close to us trump all of that. We have several working TVs, several game systems, we can order pizza. I can borrow one of those big folding tables so if someone wants to play a board game, we have a space to do that - even if that space is rather squeezed in!
What are your kids into? There's a family here that has Pokemon club once a month, and someone else has Lego days at their house. Start a once-a-month gathering. "If you build it, they will come." Commit to having it regularly, even if very few people show up initially.
There are LOTS of unschoolers in your area - I bet there are some just waiting for someone to post something, like you have been waiting!
You also might consider going to an unschooling gathering or event even if your kids aren't completely excited about going - getting out and meeting others starts with getting out and meeting others! You can let your kids know if they're really not liking being there, you'll leave, but why not try?
peace,
Caren
Sandra Dodd
-=-You also might consider going to an unschooling gathering or event even if your kids aren't completely excited about going - getting out and meeting others starts with getting out and meeting others! You can let your kids know if they're really not liking being there, you'll leave, but why not try?-=-
It won't work everywhere, and probably not in winter, but when we met in parks, when my kids were little, any kid who didn't want to come out and play would sit in the car and read or play gameboy or something, while the mom hung out with other moms nearby. And more often than not other kids would go and lure the recalcitrant kid out of the car. :-)
Another benefit of gatherings like that is some kids might be invited to stay longer, or some families might invite one or more of the host family kids to go home with them from time to time.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It won't work everywhere, and probably not in winter, but when we met in parks, when my kids were little, any kid who didn't want to come out and play would sit in the car and read or play gameboy or something, while the mom hung out with other moms nearby. And more often than not other kids would go and lure the recalcitrant kid out of the car. :-)
Another benefit of gatherings like that is some kids might be invited to stay longer, or some families might invite one or more of the host family kids to go home with them from time to time.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
unschooling2_2011
We have been unschooling for 5yrs+ years.. :) But feel like I have always been an unschooler. Except for a 2 yr period when my older son was in developmental preschool for 2 yrs from the time he was 3 to 5yrs old. He is on the Autism Spectrum diagnosed at 3yrs old. It was great play and therapy for him but once he hit Kindergarten it went to hell, so we pulled him out 2mo. after and never looked back. It was the best thing ever. He has blossomed so much over the years and also had some major medical trials ie: seizures and Celiac diagnosed within 2 mo. of each other.
My younger son has never been in any sort of school environment..
Kasey
My younger son has never been in any sort of school environment..
Kasey
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=- but every time this time of year I get this feeling.. Like I am being watched by my peers and judged. I start to panic and want to drag out workbooks and what not.( I don't) but have this feeling like I need to..I start to get edgy with the kids about their games and what not.. I hate it..-=-
>
> Even though children might be deschooled in just a few months, it takes a parent a year or more of conscious effort to recover from all their schooling. If you were in school 13 years and then college, or if you ever taught (even school at home), it will take that much longer. Separate from what your kids are doing, spend some time and energy examining and overcoming the messages and thoughts and memories you have about school, learning, and "have to."
>
> You can do that by being conscious about the decisions you're making, and why you're making them. You can do that while your kids are playing Minecraft. :-)
>
> -=-It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home.. -=-
>
> No, it doesn't help, but she's in New York and you're near Seattle. Send her links to unschooling articles, maybe. There are quite a few here:
> http://unschooling.blogspot.com
>
> How long have you been unschooling?
>
> -=-Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening.. -=-
>
> You don't get it off of you by just expressing it, though. Your thoughts and actions will need to change so that it doesn't come back every year, so that you don't continue to have feelings you hate.
>
> http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
> Even if you've read it and every single link, read some of it again.
> Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch.
>
> There is a conference fairly near you in May. Start saving money to go to it.
> http://lifeisgoodconference.com/presenters/
> (Keith and Holly said I should send a different photo. Holly says I look like I'm going to cry. Keith says my eyes are closed. But they were open, and I was happy, and I liked the rainbowy sunbeams on the strap of my overalls. I guess I'll send a different photo, though.)
>
> Sometimes people say they can't afford conferences, and I know sometimes they can be expensive, but if you can see it as a necessary cost of unschooling, and budget for it, it can make a big difference. If parents were required to take a course after which they would be allowed to homeschool, parents would take those courses and pay money for them. If parents were required to take a test before they were allowed to homeschool, there would be cram schools and coaches and test preparation books and parents would pay for those. School-at-home parents pay money to go to conventions just to get to go into the vendors' halls to spend hundreds of dollars on whichever curriculum they eventually are persuaded they can't live without.
>
> Unschooling doesn't have an $800 curriculum to sell you, so you might consider that attending a conference takes the place of that.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
unschooling2_2011
We have been planning on attending the conference in May.. we have some newer friends that are attending.. so we are making it a priority..
Kasey :)
Kasey :)
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=- but every time this time of year I get this feeling.. Like I am being watched by my peers and judged. I start to panic and want to drag out workbooks and what not.( I don't) but have this feeling like I need to..I start to get edgy with the kids about their games and what not.. I hate it..-=-
>
> Even though children might be deschooled in just a few months, it takes a parent a year or more of conscious effort to recover from all their schooling. If you were in school 13 years and then college, or if you ever taught (even school at home), it will take that much longer. Separate from what your kids are doing, spend some time and energy examining and overcoming the messages and thoughts and memories you have about school, learning, and "have to."
>
> You can do that by being conscious about the decisions you're making, and why you're making them. You can do that while your kids are playing Minecraft. :-)
>
> -=-It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home.. -=-
>
> No, it doesn't help, but she's in New York and you're near Seattle. Send her links to unschooling articles, maybe. There are quite a few here:
> http://unschooling.blogspot.com
>
> How long have you been unschooling?
>
> -=-Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening.. -=-
>
> You don't get it off of you by just expressing it, though. Your thoughts and actions will need to change so that it doesn't come back every year, so that you don't continue to have feelings you hate.
>
> http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
> Even if you've read it and every single link, read some of it again.
> Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch.
>
> There is a conference fairly near you in May. Start saving money to go to it.
> http://lifeisgoodconference.com/presenters/
> (Keith and Holly said I should send a different photo. Holly says I look like I'm going to cry. Keith says my eyes are closed. But they were open, and I was happy, and I liked the rainbowy sunbeams on the strap of my overalls. I guess I'll send a different photo, though.)
>
> Sometimes people say they can't afford conferences, and I know sometimes they can be expensive, but if you can see it as a necessary cost of unschooling, and budget for it, it can make a big difference. If parents were required to take a course after which they would be allowed to homeschool, parents would take those courses and pay money for them. If parents were required to take a test before they were allowed to homeschool, there would be cram schools and coaches and test preparation books and parents would pay for those. School-at-home parents pay money to go to conventions just to get to go into the vendors' halls to spend hundreds of dollars on whichever curriculum they eventually are persuaded they can't live without.
>
> Unschooling doesn't have an $800 curriculum to sell you, so you might consider that attending a conference takes the place of that.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
christinebgilbert
I saw the word "unworthy" and it made me think of this great book I recently read called The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown. It's about shame, worthiness, and whole-hearted living. I don't usually read these kinds of books but it came highly recommended and I found it really useful. It's not specifically about unschooling, but I don't think it goes against any of the principles either.
Here is the amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X
Here is the amazon link: http://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X
--- In [email protected], "unschooling2_2011" <unschooling2@...> wrote:
>
> I am getting a feeling like I am just not doing enough.. Last"school" year we were busy busy busy with activities, hiking, soccer, swimming and some minor Latin per the boys request.. This year it just seems like they have no interest in anything outside of the home.. Could it be that they got what they needed out of those activities and need some down time?? I get to worrying that they have been on the games and T.V too much.. even though I know they are learning with Minecraft, Terraria, and the Xbox games they play, I am involved with them, learn with them about the games and stay connected.. but every time this time of year I get this feeling.. Like I am being watched by my peers and judged. I start to panic and want to drag out workbooks and what not.( I don't) but have this feeling like I need to..I start to get edgy with the kids about their games and what not.. I hate it..
>
> It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home..
>
> We have not yet connected to a lot of unschoolers here in our area( North of Seattle, Wa).. I have connected online via Yahoo groups and what not but nothing of interest has really come up for my 2 boys.. whom are 12yrs and 10.6yrs old. The group I am connected to has a lot of activities for kids 14 and up it seems.. then the other homeschool group I am part of has a lot of younger kids from 5-8.. so it is like we are stuck in the middle..
>
> Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening..
>
> Kasey
>
christinebgilbert
Just remembered, she also did this great TED talk which covers some of the story behind the book: http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
--- In [email protected], "unschooling2_2011" <unschooling2@...> wrote:
>
> I am getting a feeling like I am just not doing enough.. Last"school" year we were busy busy busy with activities, hiking, soccer, swimming and some minor Latin per the boys request.. This year it just seems like they have no interest in anything outside of the home.. Could it be that they got what they needed out of those activities and need some down time?? I get to worrying that they have been on the games and T.V too much.. even though I know they are learning with Minecraft, Terraria, and the Xbox games they play, I am involved with them, learn with them about the games and stay connected.. but every time this time of year I get this feeling.. Like I am being watched by my peers and judged. I start to panic and want to drag out workbooks and what not.( I don't) but have this feeling like I need to..I start to get edgy with the kids about their games and what not.. I hate it..
>
> It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz me on everything they are doing at home..
>
> We have not yet connected to a lot of unschoolers here in our area( North of Seattle, Wa).. I have connected online via Yahoo groups and what not but nothing of interest has really come up for my 2 boys.. whom are 12yrs and 10.6yrs old. The group I am connected to has a lot of activities for kids 14 and up it seems.. then the other homeschool group I am part of has a lot of younger kids from 5-8.. so it is like we are stuck in the middle..
>
> Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening..
>
> Kasey
>
Laureen
Heya
On Thu, Dec 15, 2011 at 12:48 AM, unschooling2_2011
<unschooling2@...>wrote:
This is a phrase that bubbles up out of the mind of those still desperately
needing deschooling. How do I know? I'm one of the viciously overeducated
too. And that takes a lot of healing.
use to flog other people with when they question you.
physically? How's the harmony level?
is reassuring. My own attitude is the only thing I can control. So...
wanting to be on their own. It's healthy.
It's a paradigm shift.
I value relationships above pretty much everything else. Are my kids
learning to nurture? Yes. Are my kids learning how to support each other?
Yes. Are my kids learning how to have a mutually supportive,
non-competitive, non-combative family life? Yes. So in the face of that,
memorizing a bunch of trivia is really... trivial.
The world we live in is changing, and a lot of people in an older
generation have sort of missed that boat. There's a really funny cartoon
going around on Facebook about schooled kids wanting unschoolers on their
side when the zombie apocalypse comes, because the unschoolers are the ones
with the survival skills.
The trick to silencing the monkey on my (school-trained) brainstem is to
keep this in mind. The lessons they're spending their childhood learning
are what matters and anyone who doesn't get that, isn't someone whose
judgment matters to me all that much.
My kids look out for each other. They teach each other stuff. They
encourage each other. (OK, let's be totally honest, they also sometimes try
to beat the tar out of each other. But it passes, no one gets hurt, and
when it's over, they both tell me not to interfere, because they enjoy it.
Kinda reminds me of films of lion cubs...). You simply cannot place that
kind of learning on a standardized test, so the mainstream does not value
it. I will not make that mistake.
--
~~L!
s/v Excellent Adventure
http://www.theexcellentadventure.com/
"The greatest expression of rebellion is *joy*."
— Joss Whedon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
On Thu, Dec 15, 2011 at 12:48 AM, unschooling2_2011
<unschooling2@...>wrote:
> I am getting a feeling like I am just not doing enough.. Last"school"HA! Hahahahahahaha!
> year
This is a phrase that bubbles up out of the mind of those still desperately
needing deschooling. How do I know? I'm one of the viciously overeducated
too. And that takes a lot of healing.
> we were busy busy busy with activities, hiking, soccer, swimming and someBusy does not equal virtuous, nor appropriate. It's just something you can
> minor Latin per the boys request..
use to flog other people with when they question you.
> This year it just seems like they have no interest in anything outside ofSo they're turning in. No biggie.
> the home..
> Could it be that they got what they needed out of those activities andTotally.
> need some down time??
> I get to worrying that they have been on the games and T.V too much.. evenHow are they interacting with each other? with you? Are they growing,
> though I know they are learning with Minecraft, Terraria, and the Xbox
> games they play, I am involved with them, learn with them about the games
> and stay connected..
physically? How's the harmony level?
> but every time this time of year I get this feeling.. Like I am beingIt's just that you need to deschool. It's all in your head. Which, for me,
> watched by my peers and judged. I start to panic and want to drag out
> workbooks and what not.( I don't) but have this feeling like I need to..I
> start to get edgy with the kids about their games and what not.. I hate it..
>
is reassuring. My own attitude is the only thing I can control. So...
>AH! So you *are* being judged! That makes it worse.
> It does not help that my mom is a school teacher in N.Y and likes to quiz
> me on everything they are doing at home..
>
>My kids go through phases of wanting to be with other kids, and just
> We have not yet connected to a lot of unschoolers here in our area( North
> of Seattle, Wa).. I have connected online via Yahoo groups and what not but
> nothing of interest has really come up for my 2 boys.. whom are 12yrs and
> 10.6yrs old. The group I am connected to has a lot of activities for kids
> 14 and up it seems.. then the other homeschool group I am part of has a lot
> of younger kids from 5-8.. so it is like we are stuck in the middle..
>
wanting to be on their own. It's healthy.
>OK, so here's the jump I use...
> Just wanting to get that feeling off my chest... thanks for listening..
>
It's a paradigm shift.
I value relationships above pretty much everything else. Are my kids
learning to nurture? Yes. Are my kids learning how to support each other?
Yes. Are my kids learning how to have a mutually supportive,
non-competitive, non-combative family life? Yes. So in the face of that,
memorizing a bunch of trivia is really... trivial.
The world we live in is changing, and a lot of people in an older
generation have sort of missed that boat. There's a really funny cartoon
going around on Facebook about schooled kids wanting unschoolers on their
side when the zombie apocalypse comes, because the unschoolers are the ones
with the survival skills.
The trick to silencing the monkey on my (school-trained) brainstem is to
keep this in mind. The lessons they're spending their childhood learning
are what matters and anyone who doesn't get that, isn't someone whose
judgment matters to me all that much.
My kids look out for each other. They teach each other stuff. They
encourage each other. (OK, let's be totally honest, they also sometimes try
to beat the tar out of each other. But it passes, no one gets hurt, and
when it's over, they both tell me not to interfere, because they enjoy it.
Kinda reminds me of films of lion cubs...). You simply cannot place that
kind of learning on a standardized test, so the mainstream does not value
it. I will not make that mistake.
--
~~L!
s/v Excellent Adventure
http://www.theexcellentadventure.com/
"The greatest expression of rebellion is *joy*."
— Joss Whedon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-This is a phrase that bubbles up out of the mind of those still desperately
needing deschooling. How do I know? I'm one of the viciously overeducated
too. And that takes a lot of healing.-=-
It took me MANY years to not know or care whether "the school year" (other people's, not "ours") was in session/over/starting. Finally I knew I had done it when a friend who taught history asked me and Holly to come and do something for her classes, and I offered mid-June. CURED!!!! HOW could I have forgotten school is out in late May here, always!? Very... v.e.r.y..... slowly. :-)
Good questions, nicely phrased:
-=-How are they interacting with each other? with you? Are they growing,
physically? How's the harmony level?-=-
Their peace and emotional health are vital to learning.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
needing deschooling. How do I know? I'm one of the viciously overeducated
too. And that takes a lot of healing.-=-
It took me MANY years to not know or care whether "the school year" (other people's, not "ours") was in session/over/starting. Finally I knew I had done it when a friend who taught history asked me and Holly to come and do something for her classes, and I offered mid-June. CURED!!!! HOW could I have forgotten school is out in late May here, always!? Very... v.e.r.y..... slowly. :-)
Good questions, nicely phrased:
-=-How are they interacting with each other? with you? Are they growing,
physically? How's the harmony level?-=-
Their peace and emotional health are vital to learning.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
chris ester
On Thu, Dec 15, 2011 at 5:36 AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
and books to read and tapes to listen to and music and the list goes
on.....
A couple of years ago, we were out buying some stuff for some project or
other and as I was paying the clerk, I jokingly remarked, "you kids are an
expensive hobby!". My son replied, without missing a beat, "No Mom, we
aren't a hobby, we are a lifestyle!!!"
I love wise and witty words from my kids.
Chris
> **No, no curriculum, just lots of $$ on dance and kung fu and art supplies
>
> ******Unschooling doesn't have an $800 curriculum to sell you, so you
> might consider that attending a conference takes the place of that.
>
> Sandra *************
>
and books to read and tapes to listen to and music and the list goes
on.....
A couple of years ago, we were out buying some stuff for some project or
other and as I was paying the clerk, I jokingly remarked, "you kids are an
expensive hobby!". My son replied, without missing a beat, "No Mom, we
aren't a hobby, we are a lifestyle!!!"
I love wise and witty words from my kids.
Chris
> Reply to sender<Sandra@...?subject=Re%3A%20%5BAlwaysLearning%5D%20Getting%20a%20unworthy%2C%20not%20a%20great%20%22homeschooling%22%20mom%20feeling%2E%2E%2E>| Reply[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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Laureen
Heya
On Fri, Dec 16, 2011 at 8:47 AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-How are they interacting with each other? with you? Are they growing,
> physically? How's the harmony level?-=-
>
> Their peace and emotional health are vital to learning.
>
The reason I threw "physically" growing in there is that, sort of like the
spoons analogy (
http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory-written-by-christine-miserandino/),
kids only have so much energy. My kids, right before a growth spurt, want
nothing more than to stay home, eat constantly, and watch videos. They are
conserving energy, and I take that as my signal to go find bigger clothes
and shoes for them. Physical growth is more than just height and weight,
it's also immune function and neurology and emotional chemistry and all
kinds of deeply foundational stuff. They're *not* "just" eating and
playing; on a metabolic level, they're hugely busy.
Then, once they've grown, they want to go out and see museums and run in
the sunshine and go to the pool every day, and not eat so much.
Then, it changes back again. It's part of why I cringe so hard when people
do the "All my kid is doing is playing video games and eating" as if it was
a bad thing. Are they looking at what's happening in the physical child?
Not so much. In the fierce and relentless pursuit of constant academic
achievement, physical and emotional health get completely forgotten. And
that's damaging, ultimately.
--
~~L!
s/v Excellent Adventure
http://www.theexcellentadventure.com/
"The greatest expression of rebellion is *joy*."
— Joss Whedon
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-
Then, it changes back again. It's part of why I cringe so hard when people
do the "All my kid is doing is playing video games and eating" as if it was
a bad thing. Are they looking at what's happening in the physical child?
Not so much. In the fierce and relentless pursuit of constant academic
achievement, physical and emotional health get completely forgotten. And
that's damaging, ultimately.-=-
I'm fairly energetic, for an old lady. :-)
It's not athleticism, but I do get a lot done in my life. Yet there are some days when I play a video game for hours, while listening to a recording of someone else reading a book, or I sew something non-crucial-to-the-world while watching a movie I've already seen a dozen times. I'm zoned out, kind of, but kind of not. Without those long periods of half-still, half-buzz, I can't do the frenzied in-between things where I go places and dazzle people and sing ballads (or whatever it is for that outing). Then I come back and "do nothing."
Sometimes I want to color.
Some people knit or crochet or quilt or carve wood or string beads.
Sometimes I want to use markers to color in designs. I might throw them away, but while I'm doing it, it's soothing.
For the ALL Unschooling Symposium in a couple of week, I've been collecting coloring books and pages, mazes, dot-to-dots (I had some left over from a conference session I did, and will put those in the box), and markers. I'm going to buy new crayons. These are not just for young children. They're for anyone who would like to color or doodle while listening to a speaker, while listening to others' conversations. I'm setting this event up in ways that I like, and I like to have a table, and paper, and something to mess with while presentations are going on.
We'll have electricity for people's laptops, too, and nobody is going to be told to turn off their electronic devices. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Then, it changes back again. It's part of why I cringe so hard when people
do the "All my kid is doing is playing video games and eating" as if it was
a bad thing. Are they looking at what's happening in the physical child?
Not so much. In the fierce and relentless pursuit of constant academic
achievement, physical and emotional health get completely forgotten. And
that's damaging, ultimately.-=-
I'm fairly energetic, for an old lady. :-)
It's not athleticism, but I do get a lot done in my life. Yet there are some days when I play a video game for hours, while listening to a recording of someone else reading a book, or I sew something non-crucial-to-the-world while watching a movie I've already seen a dozen times. I'm zoned out, kind of, but kind of not. Without those long periods of half-still, half-buzz, I can't do the frenzied in-between things where I go places and dazzle people and sing ballads (or whatever it is for that outing). Then I come back and "do nothing."
Sometimes I want to color.
Some people knit or crochet or quilt or carve wood or string beads.
Sometimes I want to use markers to color in designs. I might throw them away, but while I'm doing it, it's soothing.
For the ALL Unschooling Symposium in a couple of week, I've been collecting coloring books and pages, mazes, dot-to-dots (I had some left over from a conference session I did, and will put those in the box), and markers. I'm going to buy new crayons. These are not just for young children. They're for anyone who would like to color or doodle while listening to a speaker, while listening to others' conversations. I'm setting this event up in ways that I like, and I like to have a table, and paper, and something to mess with while presentations are going on.
We'll have electricity for people's laptops, too, and nobody is going to be told to turn off their electronic devices. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
My daughter and I have been coloring in these kind of pages recently. They are geometric designs.
http://www.colorpagesformom.com/coloringpages/geometric/
I remembered doing them when I was younger and we printed some off. I don't know if you already have this type in your collection for the symposium :)
Rachel (40) Leila (5)
http://www.colorpagesformom.com/coloringpages/geometric/
I remembered doing them when I was younger and we printed some off. I don't know if you already have this type in your collection for the symposium :)
Rachel (40) Leila (5)
On 16 Dec 2011, at 23:20, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> -=-
> Then, it changes back again. It's part of why I cringe so hard when people
> do the "All my kid is doing is playing video games and eating" as if it was
> a bad thing. Are they looking at what's happening in the physical child?
> Not so much. In the fierce and relentless pursuit of constant academic
> achievement, physical and emotional health get completely forgotten. And
> that's damaging, ultimately.-=-
>
> I'm fairly energetic, for an old lady. :-)
> It's not athleticism, but I do get a lot done in my life. Yet there are some days when I play a video game for hours, while listening to a recording of someone else reading a book, or I sew something non-crucial-to-the-world while watching a movie I've already seen a dozen times. I'm zoned out, kind of, but kind of not. Without those long periods of half-still, half-buzz, I can't do the frenzied in-between things where I go places and dazzle people and sing ballads (or whatever it is for that outing). Then I come back and "do nothing."
>
> Sometimes I want to color.
> Some people knit or crochet or quilt or carve wood or string beads.
> Sometimes I want to use markers to color in designs. I might throw them away, but while I'm doing it, it's soothing.
>
> For the ALL Unschooling Symposium in a couple of week, I've been collecting coloring books and pages, mazes, dot-to-dots (I had some left over from a conference session I did, and will put those in the box), and markers. I'm going to buy new crayons. These are not just for young children. They're for anyone who would like to color or doodle while listening to a speaker, while listening to others' conversations. I'm setting this event up in ways that I like, and I like to have a table, and paper, and something to mess with while presentations are going on.
>
> We'll have electricity for people's laptops, too, and nobody is going to be told to turn off their electronic devices. :-)
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
Sandra Dodd
=-My daughter and I have been coloring in these kind of pages recently. They are geometric designs.
http://www.colorpagesformom.com/coloringpages/geometric/
I remembered doing them when I was younger and we printed some off. I don't know if you already have this type in your collection for the symposium :) -=-
Thank you! I will take some of those.
Some friends of mine get that feeling from doing housework, but for me housework brings bad memories of my mom saying rude things under her breath and insulting us and yelling at us.
Nice associations are nicer. Good associations are better. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://www.colorpagesformom.com/coloringpages/geometric/
I remembered doing them when I was younger and we printed some off. I don't know if you already have this type in your collection for the symposium :) -=-
Thank you! I will take some of those.
Some friends of mine get that feeling from doing housework, but for me housework brings bad memories of my mom saying rude things under her breath and insulting us and yelling at us.
Nice associations are nicer. Good associations are better. :-)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]