School in books and media for kids...
Melissa
Hello all --
My son is 3 and I have been noticing lately that the topic of school has started popping up in books we read from the library, DVDs, shows on TV... For example, characters sitting in classrooms, kids getting on the school bus, "First Day of School" themed cartoon episodes... Perhaps because he is now "preschool-aged," books and videos that cater to 3-4-5 year-olds are starting to show this information as a way to "prepare" kids for the eventuality of school.
When we are reading a library book and we happen upon a page depicting school or a school-like situation, I have been omitting the information that pertains to school. For instance, if the page shows kids sitting in a classroom and says something like, "Now Tommy visits his friends in the classroom for a fun day at school!" I will simply read, "Now Tommy visits his friends!" However, I feel somewhat uncomfortable with this, as censoring the content makes me feel dishonest. Obviously, I can simply choose books that do not have school-related scenarios and avoid this situation altogether, but sometimes it happens unexpectedly, with library books and such! I could also just choose to read it as is, but I wonder if reading and hearing about school (especially portrayed in the fun and appealing way it is on kids shows, books, etc.) over time might be confusing to him once he reaches "school age" and he is not attending school like these characters (not to mention friends in the neighborhood, etc.).
Of course, he is very young right now, so I am definitely projecting a bit into the future. But I was curious how other parents are or did handle this type of situation. How does one "live like school doesn't exist" in the midst of a whole lot of school-themed information targeted at kids out there? Thanks!
My son is 3 and I have been noticing lately that the topic of school has started popping up in books we read from the library, DVDs, shows on TV... For example, characters sitting in classrooms, kids getting on the school bus, "First Day of School" themed cartoon episodes... Perhaps because he is now "preschool-aged," books and videos that cater to 3-4-5 year-olds are starting to show this information as a way to "prepare" kids for the eventuality of school.
When we are reading a library book and we happen upon a page depicting school or a school-like situation, I have been omitting the information that pertains to school. For instance, if the page shows kids sitting in a classroom and says something like, "Now Tommy visits his friends in the classroom for a fun day at school!" I will simply read, "Now Tommy visits his friends!" However, I feel somewhat uncomfortable with this, as censoring the content makes me feel dishonest. Obviously, I can simply choose books that do not have school-related scenarios and avoid this situation altogether, but sometimes it happens unexpectedly, with library books and such! I could also just choose to read it as is, but I wonder if reading and hearing about school (especially portrayed in the fun and appealing way it is on kids shows, books, etc.) over time might be confusing to him once he reaches "school age" and he is not attending school like these characters (not to mention friends in the neighborhood, etc.).
Of course, he is very young right now, so I am definitely projecting a bit into the future. But I was curious how other parents are or did handle this type of situation. How does one "live like school doesn't exist" in the midst of a whole lot of school-themed information targeted at kids out there? Thanks!
Tina Tarbutton
On Sun, Dec 11, 2011 at 2:23 AM, Melissa <melissadunn915@...> wrote:
homeschooling that were geared towards kids and read those too. A search
for homeschool within children's books on Amazon will pull up a few. As he
got closer to school age, and people would ask "Are you in school yet" I'd
simply reply to them "We homeschool!" in a very cheerful voice, and
eventually he started answering the same way.
Before he was school age we joined the local homeschool group and started
going to park days. That way he knew other kids who didn't go to school.
My younger sister was also homeschooled (following a strict curriculum) so
he asked about school books for awhile and I got him some to play with.
For awhile he would ask to "do school" pretty regularly so we would.
My mother did daycare at the time and we lived with her for so he would see
us take the kids to the school bus every day. I would talk to him about
how they go to school during the day but he got to stay home with mommy.
He would ask different questions about school and I'd answer them.
At some point he asked what a school looked like inside, so I took him to
my old school after school hours and we visited some of my old teachers
(not sure if this would be possible nowadays because of increased security,
but you could also take him to events at a school). When he wanted to ride
a school bus and that wasn't possible, we went to the city and rode a city
bus.
I never made school out to be a bad thing, because you never know what
might happen some day (in our case, as much as I swore it would never
happen, he did end up having to go to school for just over a year). School
just was, some kids went, and some kids stayed home with their parents.
Life at home was so wonderful he had no interest in going to school
without me.
Tina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> **I just read the books as they were. I also found a few books about
>
> How does one "live like school doesn't exist" in the midst of a whole lot
> of school-themed information targeted at kids out there?
>
homeschooling that were geared towards kids and read those too. A search
for homeschool within children's books on Amazon will pull up a few. As he
got closer to school age, and people would ask "Are you in school yet" I'd
simply reply to them "We homeschool!" in a very cheerful voice, and
eventually he started answering the same way.
Before he was school age we joined the local homeschool group and started
going to park days. That way he knew other kids who didn't go to school.
My younger sister was also homeschooled (following a strict curriculum) so
he asked about school books for awhile and I got him some to play with.
For awhile he would ask to "do school" pretty regularly so we would.
My mother did daycare at the time and we lived with her for so he would see
us take the kids to the school bus every day. I would talk to him about
how they go to school during the day but he got to stay home with mommy.
He would ask different questions about school and I'd answer them.
At some point he asked what a school looked like inside, so I took him to
my old school after school hours and we visited some of my old teachers
(not sure if this would be possible nowadays because of increased security,
but you could also take him to events at a school). When he wanted to ride
a school bus and that wasn't possible, we went to the city and rode a city
bus.
I never made school out to be a bad thing, because you never know what
might happen some day (in our case, as much as I swore it would never
happen, he did end up having to go to school for just over a year). School
just was, some kids went, and some kids stayed home with their parents.
Life at home was so wonderful he had no interest in going to school
without me.
Tina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Bob Collier
--- In [email protected], "Melissa" <melissadunn915@...> wrote:
Bob
>I did that when I read stories to my daughter in her earliest years. Not specifically in relation to school (my daughter did go to school), but any ideas that were contrary to what I believed in. The story books I read to my baby and toddler daughter typically included ideas about parenting and children that I disagreed with and I omitted phrases and sentences as it suited me in order to avoid sharing them. If it was necessary to make something up for the story to make sense, I made something up. As my daughter encountered the literary tastes of other children, our lives expanded into those areas and that was fine as far as I was concerned. I wouldn't have looked at My Little Pony books before my daughter discovered them but after she did and wanted me to read those stories to her, I was happy to do so because she enjoyed the stories. As my daughter learned to read herself, she read the books she chose and whatever was on the page. As it should be, in my view. The phase in the beginning when I censored the books I was reading to her wasn't intended to prevent her from finding things out or following her interests; it was an opportunity to influence that I took advantage of because I could.
> When we are reading a library book and we happen upon a page depicting school or a school-like situation, I have been omitting the information that pertains to school. For instance, if the page shows kids sitting in a classroom and says something like, "Now Tommy visits his friends in the classroom for a fun day at school!" I will simply read, "Now Tommy visits his friends!" However, I feel somewhat uncomfortable with this, as censoring the content makes me feel dishonest.
Bob
shirarocklin
-- How does one "live like school doesn't exist" in the midst of a whole lot of school-themed information targeted at kids out there? Thanks! --
We don't live like school doesn't exist. Some of my kids friends are in school, some aren't. When they were younger and some friends were in daycare, I explained what daycare was (when we'd pass one, or when they wanted to know where their friends were), and tell them about how sometimes two parents work, or parents want to do other things during the day, and that they were very lucky that daddy could make enough money for mommy to be with them during the day. And then I'd list all the cool things that we did during the day that they wouldn't get to do in daycare. School hasn't come up in the same way, perhaps because the old explanation is still working for my daughter, 5.5 years old now.
I think stories about school in books are great, actually. In some books, its a great experience, with an awesome teacher! Magic Schoolbus stories... they love those ones a lot. Ms. Frizzle is fun... the teacherly schooly stuff is fairly minimal. Its all about adventure and learning through experience, and often begins because a kid asks a question about something (so somewhat interest-led learning). In other books where school is featured, sometimes they show the not-so-pleasant stuff... which I think is also good. Its realistic and gives my kids an idea of another facet of school. The less mysterious school is, the more they can choose to go or not to go based on realistic ideas instead of wondering all the time. But we really can't pretend it doesn't exist. Where do all those children boarding the school bus disappear each morning to? That would be hard to explain away.
Shira
We don't live like school doesn't exist. Some of my kids friends are in school, some aren't. When they were younger and some friends were in daycare, I explained what daycare was (when we'd pass one, or when they wanted to know where their friends were), and tell them about how sometimes two parents work, or parents want to do other things during the day, and that they were very lucky that daddy could make enough money for mommy to be with them during the day. And then I'd list all the cool things that we did during the day that they wouldn't get to do in daycare. School hasn't come up in the same way, perhaps because the old explanation is still working for my daughter, 5.5 years old now.
I think stories about school in books are great, actually. In some books, its a great experience, with an awesome teacher! Magic Schoolbus stories... they love those ones a lot. Ms. Frizzle is fun... the teacherly schooly stuff is fairly minimal. Its all about adventure and learning through experience, and often begins because a kid asks a question about something (so somewhat interest-led learning). In other books where school is featured, sometimes they show the not-so-pleasant stuff... which I think is also good. Its realistic and gives my kids an idea of another facet of school. The less mysterious school is, the more they can choose to go or not to go based on realistic ideas instead of wondering all the time. But we really can't pretend it doesn't exist. Where do all those children boarding the school bus disappear each morning to? That would be hard to explain away.
Shira
Kristine Gagnier
**How does one "live like school doesn't exist" in the midst of a whole lot of school-themed information targeted at kids out there?**
My daughter is 3 as well and since I let go of controlling her tv watching and allowed her to watch programs as freely as she wants to, she started asking about school and saying how she wants to go. We can't afford for her to go to preschool, but if she wants to attend school (K-12) it's her decision to do so. At first I cringed when I would hear her say she wants to go to school, but I realized it opened the door for more discussions. I would tell her she can go to school or we can "school" at home. She would reply she wants to do both. The interest has turned into play and now we occasionally play pretend school at home. Schooling can also be extended into taking classes such as dance, music, art, karate etc. Unschooling is focusing on the best interest of the child and not keeping them ignorant of the world around them.
Kristine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My daughter is 3 as well and since I let go of controlling her tv watching and allowed her to watch programs as freely as she wants to, she started asking about school and saying how she wants to go. We can't afford for her to go to preschool, but if she wants to attend school (K-12) it's her decision to do so. At first I cringed when I would hear her say she wants to go to school, but I realized it opened the door for more discussions. I would tell her she can go to school or we can "school" at home. She would reply she wants to do both. The interest has turned into play and now we occasionally play pretend school at home. Schooling can also be extended into taking classes such as dance, music, art, karate etc. Unschooling is focusing on the best interest of the child and not keeping them ignorant of the world around them.
Kristine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-since I let go of controlling her tv watching and allowed her to watch programs as freely as she wants to, she started asking about school and saying how she wants to go. -=-
Are you not watching TV with her?
When my kids were watching Barney (which was set in a school, but not DURING school), I said things sometimes like, "I WISH school had let kids hang out and use the art supplies when other people were gone!" or "Where's their teacher?" Or "You do know school doesn't have dancing, singing dinosaurs, don't you?" Depending on the show. And I didn't say things every time, just when it seemed particularly appealing and the kids were getting into it.
Or I've said that if school was as cool as TV-show school, with ten kids in each class chosen by a casting director and a really nice script, school would be great!
I avoided the books that were blatant school propaganda, or would read them but mention that this was one of those books written to make kids want to go to school.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Are you not watching TV with her?
When my kids were watching Barney (which was set in a school, but not DURING school), I said things sometimes like, "I WISH school had let kids hang out and use the art supplies when other people were gone!" or "Where's their teacher?" Or "You do know school doesn't have dancing, singing dinosaurs, don't you?" Depending on the show. And I didn't say things every time, just when it seemed particularly appealing and the kids were getting into it.
Or I've said that if school was as cool as TV-show school, with ten kids in each class chosen by a casting director and a really nice script, school would be great!
I avoided the books that were blatant school propaganda, or would read them but mention that this was one of those books written to make kids want to go to school.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
"Live like school doesn't exist," doesn't at all mean pretend school
doesn't exist in the world.
ThatOur unschooling life almost certainly includes a lot of exposure to
school - kids' friends go to school, books and video depict kids in school,
we pass by the school buildings and see the kids there. We have been very
often invited to school functions - to see friends perform in talent shows,
etc.
Live as if school doesn't exist means we don't base our unschooling lives
on what the schools are teaching, when they are teaching, how they are
teaching. And we don't do the opposite of the schools, either. Don't decide
how to live based on school.
-pam
doesn't exist in the world.
ThatOur unschooling life almost certainly includes a lot of exposure to
school - kids' friends go to school, books and video depict kids in school,
we pass by the school buildings and see the kids there. We have been very
often invited to school functions - to see friends perform in talent shows,
etc.
Live as if school doesn't exist means we don't base our unschooling lives
on what the schools are teaching, when they are teaching, how they are
teaching. And we don't do the opposite of the schools, either. Don't decide
how to live based on school.
-pam
On Sun, Dec 11, 2011 at 6:06 AM, shirarocklin <shirarocklin@...> wrote:
> -- How does one "live like school doesn't exist" in the midst of a whole
> lot of school-themed information targeted at kids out
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kgagnier0424
I can't always watch tv with her. The times she chooses to watch tv are usually when I'm cleaning/cooking. Sometimes she asks me to watch tv/movies with her and I make the time for her.
* "You do know school doesn't have dancing, singing dinosaurs, don't you?" Depending on the show. And I didn't say things every time, just when it seemed particularly appealing and the kids were getting into it.*
Isn't unschooling suppose to be leading a more open view and not one sided. I think you're words may be trying to lead him in your own direction. When I actively watch tv with my daughter, I try not to pick out the faults in the show and keep my input open ended. Have you asked your kids why they want to school or what they find appealing about it? I would find your response more appropriate if they said, "I want to go to school so I can dance with a singing dinosaur."
Kristine
* "You do know school doesn't have dancing, singing dinosaurs, don't you?" Depending on the show. And I didn't say things every time, just when it seemed particularly appealing and the kids were getting into it.*
Isn't unschooling suppose to be leading a more open view and not one sided. I think you're words may be trying to lead him in your own direction. When I actively watch tv with my daughter, I try not to pick out the faults in the show and keep my input open ended. Have you asked your kids why they want to school or what they find appealing about it? I would find your response more appropriate if they said, "I want to go to school so I can dance with a singing dinosaur."
Kristine
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-since I let go of controlling her tv watching and allowed her to watch programs as freely as she wants to, she started asking about school and saying how she wants to go. -=-
>
> Are you not watching TV with her?
>
> When my kids were watching Barney (which was set in a school, but not DURING school), I said things sometimes like, "I WISH school had let kids hang out and use the art supplies when other people were gone!" or "Where's their teacher?" Or "You do know school doesn't have dancing, singing dinosaurs, don't you?" Depending on the show. And I didn't say things every time, just when it seemed particularly appealing and the kids were getting into it.
>
> Or I've said that if school was as cool as TV-show school, with ten kids in each class chosen by a casting director and a really nice script, school would be great!
>
> I avoided the books that were blatant school propaganda, or would read them but mention that this was one of those books written to make kids want to go to school.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Joyce Fetteroll
On Dec 11, 2011, at 3:13 PM, kgagnier0424 wrote:
How it comes across depends on how and when it's said. If the goal is to get them to stop thinking wrong about school and believe mom's way, that would be one sided. If the goal is to balance out the information they're getting so they can form a more accurate picture then it's, well, balanced, not one sided.
Joyce
> Isn't unschooling suppose to be leading a more open view and not one sided.The programs are leading them in a one sided direction! ;-)
> I think you're words may be trying to lead him in your own direction.
How it comes across depends on how and when it's said. If the goal is to get them to stop thinking wrong about school and believe mom's way, that would be one sided. If the goal is to balance out the information they're getting so they can form a more accurate picture then it's, well, balanced, not one sided.
Joyce
Sandra Dodd
-=-* "You do know school doesn't have dancing, singing dinosaurs, don't you?" Depending on the show. And I didn't say things every time, just when it seemed particularly appealing and the kids were getting into it.*
-=-Isn't unschooling suppose to be leading a more open view and not one sided.-=-
More open than honest information? Barney is one-sided and pro-school, in a dishonest, magical way. Six kids and a dinosaur, and yet it's set in a school building with a cool treehouse (or used to be, when my boys were little).
-=- I think you're words may be trying to lead him in your own direction. -=-
If someone gave you the idea that unschooling parents shouldn't be living directly with their children, you were done a great disservice. I hope you didn't get that impression from this list or from my webpages.
-=-I can't always watch tv with her. The times she chooses to watch tv are usually when I'm cleaning/cooking. Sometimes she asks me to watch tv/movies with her and I make the time for her. -=-
If your daughter only comes after you cook and clean, and if you have to make time for her, unschooling will be difficult for you.
http://www.sandradodd.com/howto/precisely
You should spend all the time you would with her if she were in school, plus all the time she would have been in school, if you're going to have her home instead of in school.
-=- When I actively watch tv with my daughter, I try not to pick out the faults in the show and keep my input open ended.-=-
I wasn't "picking out the faults in the show." I was pointing out differences between their hints at how fun it was to be at school with a singing dinosaur, and the realities of Inez Elementary, down the street.
-=-Have you asked your kids why they want to school or what they find appealing about it?-=-
My kids didn't want to go to school. They sometimes found television shows about school appealing because it seemed like a small group of great, singing, dancing kids (or cartoon characters, in the case of Arthur and some other shows).
-=- I would find your response more appropriate if they said, "I want to go to school so I can dance with a singing dinosaur."-=-
You've been on the list since December 7, the other day.
I don't think the appropriate of my responses 20 years ago are the greatest things to question. I could be wrong, but I had three kids who had the option to stay home or go to school, and they each stayed home. They're grown and happy.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-Isn't unschooling suppose to be leading a more open view and not one sided.-=-
More open than honest information? Barney is one-sided and pro-school, in a dishonest, magical way. Six kids and a dinosaur, and yet it's set in a school building with a cool treehouse (or used to be, when my boys were little).
-=- I think you're words may be trying to lead him in your own direction. -=-
If someone gave you the idea that unschooling parents shouldn't be living directly with their children, you were done a great disservice. I hope you didn't get that impression from this list or from my webpages.
-=-I can't always watch tv with her. The times she chooses to watch tv are usually when I'm cleaning/cooking. Sometimes she asks me to watch tv/movies with her and I make the time for her. -=-
If your daughter only comes after you cook and clean, and if you have to make time for her, unschooling will be difficult for you.
http://www.sandradodd.com/howto/precisely
You should spend all the time you would with her if she were in school, plus all the time she would have been in school, if you're going to have her home instead of in school.
-=- When I actively watch tv with my daughter, I try not to pick out the faults in the show and keep my input open ended.-=-
I wasn't "picking out the faults in the show." I was pointing out differences between their hints at how fun it was to be at school with a singing dinosaur, and the realities of Inez Elementary, down the street.
-=-Have you asked your kids why they want to school or what they find appealing about it?-=-
My kids didn't want to go to school. They sometimes found television shows about school appealing because it seemed like a small group of great, singing, dancing kids (or cartoon characters, in the case of Arthur and some other shows).
-=- I would find your response more appropriate if they said, "I want to go to school so I can dance with a singing dinosaur."-=-
You've been on the list since December 7, the other day.
I don't think the appropriate of my responses 20 years ago are the greatest things to question. I could be wrong, but I had three kids who had the option to stay home or go to school, and they each stayed home. They're grown and happy.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lisamdj2000
==I don't think the appropriate of my responses 20 years ago are the greatest
things to question. I could be wrong, but I had three kids who had the option
to stay home or go to school, and they each stayed home. They're grown and
happy.==
I'm new to the list as well and am still figuring out how it works, but isn't this precisely the sort of thing that is encouraged here? Regardless of the personal situation of any particular family, if someone reading the list can learn from those responses (whether appropriate or not), aren't they up for discussion? It seems that whenever anyone posts a question, it always comes back to what everyone can learn from it rather than targeting a specific situation. Your responses to your kids 20 years ago seem like they would fit in that category, and it seems as though discussing whether putting a positive or negative spin on how school is represented in media would be quite relevant here. School isn't always presented positively, though the negative stuff is usually shown to older kids. For young children it's all about getting them excited and ready for it, so I certainly understand presenting the other side. But I'm confused as to why it's inappropriate to question that on this list, since that sort of debate is otherwise encouraged here.
things to question. I could be wrong, but I had three kids who had the option
to stay home or go to school, and they each stayed home. They're grown and
happy.==
I'm new to the list as well and am still figuring out how it works, but isn't this precisely the sort of thing that is encouraged here? Regardless of the personal situation of any particular family, if someone reading the list can learn from those responses (whether appropriate or not), aren't they up for discussion? It seems that whenever anyone posts a question, it always comes back to what everyone can learn from it rather than targeting a specific situation. Your responses to your kids 20 years ago seem like they would fit in that category, and it seems as though discussing whether putting a positive or negative spin on how school is represented in media would be quite relevant here. School isn't always presented positively, though the negative stuff is usually shown to older kids. For young children it's all about getting them excited and ready for it, so I certainly understand presenting the other side. But I'm confused as to why it's inappropriate to question that on this list, since that sort of debate is otherwise encouraged here.
Sandra Dodd
-=I'm new to the list as well and am still figuring out how it works, but isn't this precisely the sort of thing that is encouraged here? Regardless of the personal situation of any particular family, if someone reading the list can learn from those responses (whether appropriate or not), aren't they up for discussion? -=-
Sure.
It matters who's asking, though. If someone is new and confused and begins with a premise that isn't in keeping with what's customary among the expereinced unschooling on this list, the questions bounce quickly back to why those questions would have been asked.
-=- Your responses to your kids 20 years ago seem like they would fit in that category, and it seems as though discussing whether putting a positive or negative spin on how school is represented in media would be quite relevant here.-=-
Sure. It was something that happened, and I put it out on the table. But it seemed that the person responding thought I still had kids who might be wanting to go to school.
-= For young children it's all about getting them excited and ready for it, so I certainly understand presenting the other side. But I'm confused as to why it's inappropriate to question that on this list, since that sort of debate is otherwise encouraged here.-=-
I was talking about somethign that did work, though. (I left off part of a word.... correction of some of my response: "-=-I don't think the appropriateness of my responses 20 years ago are the greatest
things to question. I could be wrong, but "-=-
The shows and books kids are seeing nowadays are different. I'm unfamiliar with what's out there now, and the first season of Barney (when he was the only dinosaur involved) is long gone.
The criticism of my story was based on my not having been neutral enough in my information, I think. "Isn't unschooling suppose to be leading a more open view and not one sided." I was willing to let each of my kids go to school. I was fine with them watching Barney. I watched it with them. That seems to have been quite open, to me.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sure.
It matters who's asking, though. If someone is new and confused and begins with a premise that isn't in keeping with what's customary among the expereinced unschooling on this list, the questions bounce quickly back to why those questions would have been asked.
-=- Your responses to your kids 20 years ago seem like they would fit in that category, and it seems as though discussing whether putting a positive or negative spin on how school is represented in media would be quite relevant here.-=-
Sure. It was something that happened, and I put it out on the table. But it seemed that the person responding thought I still had kids who might be wanting to go to school.
-= For young children it's all about getting them excited and ready for it, so I certainly understand presenting the other side. But I'm confused as to why it's inappropriate to question that on this list, since that sort of debate is otherwise encouraged here.-=-
I was talking about somethign that did work, though. (I left off part of a word.... correction of some of my response: "-=-I don't think the appropriateness of my responses 20 years ago are the greatest
things to question. I could be wrong, but "-=-
The shows and books kids are seeing nowadays are different. I'm unfamiliar with what's out there now, and the first season of Barney (when he was the only dinosaur involved) is long gone.
The criticism of my story was based on my not having been neutral enough in my information, I think. "Isn't unschooling suppose to be leading a more open view and not one sided." I was willing to let each of my kids go to school. I was fine with them watching Barney. I watched it with them. That seems to have been quite open, to me.
Sandra
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maryann
--- In [email protected], Kristine Gagnier <kgagnier0424@...> wrote:
When we read a book or watch a show, if there is something about school that looks fun and inviting, I say something like, "That does look like fun! We could do that!" And I get the stuff we need to do it.
There are lots and lots of incidences of negative things about school in shows, even in the ones trying to get kids to see it as fun. We saw an episode of Calliou the other day and it was all about him going to school for a day and how fun it was. But the narrator also said things like, 'Calliou wanted to keep playing blocks, but Miss so-and-so said it was clean up time.' So I had an opening to point out that it was true that in school they had certain times for certain things and the kids had to follow that. (Then we played blocks. ;) Many stories have a snippet of the negativity of school. We watched some show that included a scene where the boy's dog ran away and he suddenly saw it outside his school window, and they showed him nervously sitting there for what seemed like forever. So I got to explain that at school, kids would not usually be allowed to just get up and go outside. My boy was shocked about why the kid didn't jump up and go save his dog!
This fall my kids had chickenpox, and I got some books from the library for us to read about it. There were some nonfiction and some fiction. Annoyingly, the fiction was all school-related, and I was disappointed. But it turned out that the one newest one was the only one that said something to the effects of "It was so boring because I couldn't go to school." and then, "Yay, after a week, I finally got to go back to school!" The others (including an Arthur one) showed the kids spotty and itching and having fun while being glad to miss school. One in which the girl was really sick and feeling terrible, even showed her brother pay her a dime to breathe on him so he could get sick and miss school too. So I had an opening to talk about how some kids even Fake being sick to get to miss school.
We don't seek out stories or shows about school because it's not an interest of my children. But when we happen upon them, there is almost always a way to use it to support my child's interests (in being free to have fun and learn and be at home with his family a lot). I try hard to skip past any feelings I may have of "Oh no, what if this makes him want to go to school." and look at it through his eyes. There ARE fun things about school, and I don't want my kids to miss out on those or even WORRY that they are missing out on those. I'm trying to do that by giving it to them, rather than hiding it from them.
I look for books and shows and toys and places to go that I think my kids would enjoy. And, as nice as preschool may sound in some stories, there are A LOT of fun stories about a lot of other things too. I would make sure you find books about fun things you and your daughter can/will actually do, so the school ones aren't the most exciting thing.
Maryann
DS 5 1/2, DD 2
> My daughter is 3 as well and since I let go of controlling her tv watching and allowed her to watch programs as freely as she wants to, she started asking about school and saying how she wants to go. We can't afford for her to go to preschool, but if she wants to attend school (K-12) it's her decision to do so. At first I cringed when I would hear her say she wants to go to school, but I realized it opened the door for more discussions. I would tell her she can go to school or we can "school" at home. She would reply she wants to do both. The interest has turned into play and now we occasionally play pretend school at home. Schooling can also be extended into taking classes such as dance, music, art, karate etc. Unschooling is focusing on the best interest of the child and not keeping them ignorant of the world around them.I would also ask what sounds fun about school and see if you can do it Right Now.
>>>>>>>>>>>
When we read a book or watch a show, if there is something about school that looks fun and inviting, I say something like, "That does look like fun! We could do that!" And I get the stuff we need to do it.
There are lots and lots of incidences of negative things about school in shows, even in the ones trying to get kids to see it as fun. We saw an episode of Calliou the other day and it was all about him going to school for a day and how fun it was. But the narrator also said things like, 'Calliou wanted to keep playing blocks, but Miss so-and-so said it was clean up time.' So I had an opening to point out that it was true that in school they had certain times for certain things and the kids had to follow that. (Then we played blocks. ;) Many stories have a snippet of the negativity of school. We watched some show that included a scene where the boy's dog ran away and he suddenly saw it outside his school window, and they showed him nervously sitting there for what seemed like forever. So I got to explain that at school, kids would not usually be allowed to just get up and go outside. My boy was shocked about why the kid didn't jump up and go save his dog!
This fall my kids had chickenpox, and I got some books from the library for us to read about it. There were some nonfiction and some fiction. Annoyingly, the fiction was all school-related, and I was disappointed. But it turned out that the one newest one was the only one that said something to the effects of "It was so boring because I couldn't go to school." and then, "Yay, after a week, I finally got to go back to school!" The others (including an Arthur one) showed the kids spotty and itching and having fun while being glad to miss school. One in which the girl was really sick and feeling terrible, even showed her brother pay her a dime to breathe on him so he could get sick and miss school too. So I had an opening to talk about how some kids even Fake being sick to get to miss school.
We don't seek out stories or shows about school because it's not an interest of my children. But when we happen upon them, there is almost always a way to use it to support my child's interests (in being free to have fun and learn and be at home with his family a lot). I try hard to skip past any feelings I may have of "Oh no, what if this makes him want to go to school." and look at it through his eyes. There ARE fun things about school, and I don't want my kids to miss out on those or even WORRY that they are missing out on those. I'm trying to do that by giving it to them, rather than hiding it from them.
I look for books and shows and toys and places to go that I think my kids would enjoy. And, as nice as preschool may sound in some stories, there are A LOT of fun stories about a lot of other things too. I would make sure you find books about fun things you and your daughter can/will actually do, so the school ones aren't the most exciting thing.
Maryann
DS 5 1/2, DD 2
Sandra Dodd
-=- The times she chooses to watch tv are usually when I'm cleaning/cooking. Sometimes she asks me to watch tv/movies with her and I make the time for her. -=-
There's a passage from a longer poem that La Leche League quotes:
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m nursing my baby and babies don’t keep.
This was published in the U.S. (Ladies' Home Journal) in 1958, so the odds are that the baby was bottle-fed. La Leche League used the beautiful ending, and changed "rocking" to "nursing.
"Song for a Fifth Child"
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton
Most families hurry their babies to grow up enough to leave at four or five to go to school. Unschoolers can rock their children as long as the children want to be home. Our children don't need to hear people saying "You're not old enough to do that," or "You're too old to do that." I had that message a thousand times, about what I was wearing, doing, singing, reading, liking, saying, the way I was sitting, the games I enjoyed. My children were spared that, and made TEN thousand decisions without the self-conscious thought of "what will the others think?"
So even though the poem is about babies, with unschooling, with kids at home, keep in mind that a five year old is never five for more than a year. When your last nine-year-old turns ten, you no longer have a young child with a single-digit birthday. My third teenager turned twenty this year.
Not only do babies not keep, neither do toddlers, children, or teens.
Sandra
There's a passage from a longer poem that La Leche League quotes:
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m nursing my baby and babies don’t keep.
This was published in the U.S. (Ladies' Home Journal) in 1958, so the odds are that the baby was bottle-fed. La Leche League used the beautiful ending, and changed "rocking" to "nursing.
"Song for a Fifth Child"
Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.
The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.
- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton
Most families hurry their babies to grow up enough to leave at four or five to go to school. Unschoolers can rock their children as long as the children want to be home. Our children don't need to hear people saying "You're not old enough to do that," or "You're too old to do that." I had that message a thousand times, about what I was wearing, doing, singing, reading, liking, saying, the way I was sitting, the games I enjoyed. My children were spared that, and made TEN thousand decisions without the self-conscious thought of "what will the others think?"
So even though the poem is about babies, with unschooling, with kids at home, keep in mind that a five year old is never five for more than a year. When your last nine-year-old turns ten, you no longer have a young child with a single-digit birthday. My third teenager turned twenty this year.
Not only do babies not keep, neither do toddlers, children, or teens.
Sandra