groundhoggirl

Since you guys are talking about arranged marriages, I hope you won't
mind if I share this strange and interesting story with you.

I grew up on the north shore of Long Island in Port Washington, NY. My
brother's best friend was the son of an Indian Sikh father and a
Malaysian mother. The parents, years earlier, had fallen in love and
married - definitely not an arranged marriage! They moved to NY when
their son was still a little boy so he grew up in a very western
environment. Both his parents were very well-educated and were really
very sophisticated people and very comfortable in our society.

He grew up to be a personable, intelligent and handsome young man.
Following his formal education he moved to Hawaii and started dating.
After a few years, he decided he wanted to get married, but had not
found anyone special. So, he asked his parents if they would go to
India and choose a wife for him! They were thrilled to do this for
him. They travelled to India and met with several families where they
were introduced to some young ladies. They found a young woman that
they thought would be suitable for him, the arrangements were made and
they got married. That was about 13 years ago. They have 3 kids and
are very happily married.

I'm thrilled that this worked out for them, but I always thought that
was such a strange story.

Mimi


On Thursday, December 13, 2001, at 05:08 PM, KT wrote:

> Courtship and arranged marriages are more a fundamentalist/charismatic
> thing than strictly in the evangelical camp.  It's been featured in
> Focus on the Family's magazine...and didn't that guy Josh McSomebody
> write a book about it?  I think the title was "I kissed dating goodbye"
> or something like that. 
>
> I agree with Sandra, that it is spreading.
>
> Karen
>
> Susan McGlohn wrote:
>
> >
> > --- lite2yu@... wrote:
> > >>
> > > > Arranged marriages.  It's the coming thing.
> > > > >
> > >And sources to point me to?
> > > >
> > >
> > > I have heard this a lot as well. . . when I lived in
> > > Louisiana, a lot of the
> > > talk amongst the Christian/Catholic homeschoolers
> > > was that their daughters
> > > didn't need college as they would only be getting
> > > married and having children
> > > as soon as they finished "high school".
> >
> >
> > That doesn't sound like "arranged marriages".  It just
> > sounds like the parent's wishes.
> >
> > I am a Christian in a huge protestant evangelical
> > church here in VA, and although courtship is
> > definitely encouraged, I have not heard a thing about
> > arranged marriages within the Christian community.
> >
> > It's too bad that generalizations are applied across
> > the board to an entire group of people, based on the
> > practice of a few individuals/subgroups.
> >
> >
> >
> > =====
> > {}
> > Susan  c[__]
> > eclectichomeschooler@...
> > AOL IM:  WifeToVegman
> >
> > my web page:
> >
> http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html
> >
> > __________________________________________________
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>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>

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> [email protected]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Here's something I've thought about a lot. Does anyone else have any
discomfort about all the very young marriages that seem to be happening among
homeschoolers? I don't even mean among the Christian homeschoolers, where one
might expect it...but in reading HEM and in other contexts, SO many very
young (like under 21) people seem to be getting married.

I don't think a marriage among young people is doomed to fail, but I do
wonder what's going on? IS this a trend? Any ideas on this, anyone?

Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

eclectichomeschooler

--- In AlwaysLearning@y..., KathrynJB@a... wrote:
> Here's something I've thought about a lot. Does anyone else have
any
> discomfort about all the very young marriages that seem to be
happening among
> homeschoolers? I don't even mean among the Christian homeschoolers,
where one
> might expect it...



Just curious, Kathryn, why would you expect it among Christian
homeschoolers?

[email protected]

<< I don't think a marriage among young people is doomed to fail, but I do
wonder what's going on? IS this a trend? Any ideas on this, anyone? >>

The only way to get a 50th anniversary is to start early, and lots of couples
have 50th anniversaries.

If I had married my teen/college boyfriend I think I'd've been really happy.
We should've just hooked it up then, and not messed with the ensuing
this'n'that. But "wait" just for the sake of waiting, because your birthday
hasn't come, is another artificial stricture of our culture. We're used to
telling kids "wait."

Sometimes the opportunity has passed and people settle for second-best house,
job, spouse, friend, car, idea...

I'm pretty sure people under 21 have often gotten married, but some are
made/encouraged to wait until "after college" (which follows the things they
have to wait to do after high school). SO... if we devalue college, as
unschooling parents, and say "whatever" and "whenever" about a hundred
things, then what's the bar/deadline/magic threshhold for kids to consider
bonding for life?

Have we brought this on ourselves?

(And is it really happening? I've written all the above on the assumption
that "it" is a fact, but I'm not sure it is.)

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/13/01 2:06:46 PM, eclectichomeschooler@... writes:

<< Just curious, Kathryn, why would you expect it among Christian
homeschoolers? >>

Arranged marriages. It's the coming thing.

There are homeschoolers who reject courtship as sinful near-dating.

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/13/01 3:18:52 PM, SandraDodd@... writes:

<< (And is it really happening? I've written all the above on the assumption
that "it" is a fact, but I'm not sure it is.) >>

I don't know if it is happening, but it wouldn't surprise me. I've thought
for a long time that our culture infantalizes teens and young adults (while
at the same time oversexualizing them - weird combination). So they are
usually not ready to be married at an early age. Homeschoolers OTOH have been
out in the world more, had more genuine experience and opportunities to
develop maturity. I think they just might be more ready to be married early
than a lot of us.

Paula

Susan McGlohn

--- SandraDodd@... wrote:
>
> In a message dated 12/13/01 2:06:46 PM,
> eclectichomeschooler@... writes:
>
> << Just curious, Kathryn, why would you expect it
> among Christian
> homeschoolers? >>
>
> Arranged marriages. It's the coming thing.
>
> There are homeschoolers who reject courtship as
> sinful near-dating.


Funny, I've never heard that before. How do you know
it is the coming thing? And sources to point me to?




=====
{}
Susan c[__]
eclectichomeschooler@...
AOL IM: WifeToVegman

my web page:
http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html

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[email protected]

In a message dated 12/13/2001 5:24:22 PM Eastern Standard Time,
eclectichomeschooler@... writes:


> Arranged marriages. It's the coming thing.
> >
> > There are homeschoolers who reject courtship as
> > sinful near-dating.
>
>
> Funny, I've never heard that before. How do you know
> it is the coming thing? And sources to point me to?
>

I have heard this a lot as well. . . when I lived in Louisiana, a lot of the
talk amongst the Christian/Catholic homeschoolers was that their daughters
didn't need college as they would only be getting married and having children
as soon as they finished "high school". I have also heard that quite a bit in
the Northeast amongst Christian homeschoolers here. It seems I read something
about it somewhere, but can't remember for the life of me where that would
be.

living in abundance
lovemary
I cannot judge my own path and SELF, having the knowledge that I have chosen
to come here to experience these specific issues and grow, learn, and
Remember Who I Am.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Susan McGlohn

--- lite2yu@... wrote:
>>
> > Arranged marriages. It's the coming thing.
> > >
>And sources to point me to?
> >
>
> I have heard this a lot as well. . . when I lived in
> Louisiana, a lot of the
> talk amongst the Christian/Catholic homeschoolers
> was that their daughters
> didn't need college as they would only be getting
> married and having children
> as soon as they finished "high school".


That doesn't sound like "arranged marriages". It just
sounds like the parent's wishes.

I am a Christian in a huge protestant evangelical
church here in VA, and although courtship is
definitely encouraged, I have not heard a thing about
arranged marriages within the Christian community.

It's too bad that generalizations are applied across
the board to an entire group of people, based on the
practice of a few individuals/subgroups.



=====
{}
Susan c[__]
eclectichomeschooler@...
AOL IM: WifeToVegman

my web page:
http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html

__________________________________________________
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KT

Courtship and arranged marriages are more a fundamentalist/charismatic
thing than strictly in the evangelical camp. It's been featured in
Focus on the Family's magazine...and didn't that guy Josh McSomebody
write a book about it? I think the title was "I kissed dating goodbye"
or something like that.

I agree with Sandra, that it is spreading.

Karen

Susan McGlohn wrote:

>
> --- lite2yu@... wrote:
> >>
> > > Arranged marriages. It's the coming thing.
> > > >
> >And sources to point me to?
> > >
> >
> > I have heard this a lot as well. . . when I lived in
> > Louisiana, a lot of the
> > talk amongst the Christian/Catholic homeschoolers
> > was that their daughters
> > didn't need college as they would only be getting
> > married and having children
> > as soon as they finished "high school".
>
>
> That doesn't sound like "arranged marriages". It just
> sounds like the parent's wishes.
>
> I am a Christian in a huge protestant evangelical
> church here in VA, and although courtship is
> definitely encouraged, I have not heard a thing about
> arranged marriages within the Christian community.
>
> It's too bad that generalizations are applied across
> the board to an entire group of people, based on the
> practice of a few individuals/subgroups.
>
>
>
> =====
> {}
> Susan c[__]
> eclectichomeschooler@...
> AOL IM: WifeToVegman
>
> my web page:
> http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for all of
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Susan McGlohn

--- KT <Tuck@...> wrote:
> Courtship and arranged marriages are more a
> fundamentalist/charismatic
> thing than strictly in the evangelical camp. It's
> been featured in
> Focus on the Family's magazine...and didn't that guy
> Josh McSomebody
> write a book about it? I think the title was "I
> kissed dating goodbye"
> or something like that.
>
> I agree with Sandra, that it is spreading.
>
> Karen


Well, my daughter and I have read "I kissed dating
goodbye" by Joshua Harris, and Josh has spoken at our
church several times.

He does not talk about arranged marriages.

Perhaps there is a misunderstanding about what is
meant by courtship, and it is being confused with
arranged marriages.



=====
{}
Susan c[__]
eclectichomeschooler@...
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my web page:
http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html

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Carol & Mac

Kathryn,

I've certainly been uncomfortable about my son's marriage. He got
married just over a year ago at age 19 to a 16yo homeschooler. They are
expecting their first baby in February (and no, she wasn't preganant
when they got married <g>). They have been in love since he was 16 and
she was 13. Dated other people, but always came back to each other. We
aren't christians. When I suggested that they could live together for
awhile before getting married (like dh and I did) I was given a
withering look that made me feel like a dirty old woman! Well, I guess
they all have to go through their rebellious stage! But somehow though
it seemed natural to rebel against my parents back at the end of the
sixties, I hadn't considered that my kids might go prudish on me <g>
Especially considering they were into partying and drink and Having Fun.
Since getting pregnant though, it's back to the family values. No more
smoking, drinking. Any suggestions of hospital births, vaccination or
school for their precious baby are shot down in flames!

They seem very happy. All I can do is hope it lasts. Erin's mother was
only just 17 when she got married, and had her first son a year later.
They are still happily married with six kids. So here's hoping. I do
love them both :-) And I am looking forward to the home birth of my
grandchild, to which I have been invited :-)

I can't answer any of your questions except that, yes, I am
uncomfortable about it.

Carol

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/13/2001 2:24:20 PM Pacific Standard Time,
eclectichomeschooler@... writes:


> Funny, I've never heard that before. How do you know
> it is the coming thing?

Put in "courtship" "marriage" and "homeschooling" into a search engine. There
is a lot of stuff out there.

Pam Sorooshian
<A HREF="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/">http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/</A>

<A HREF="http://nhen.org/">National Home Education Networkhttp://www.nhen.org</A>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I guess we fit into the married young category. We had our dd when I was 18
was married when I was 19, had our next children when I was 20, 22, and our
newest member of the family is due when I will be 24.

We've been married for nearly five years, have had ups and downs like every
marriage, but have made it through, though only by the grace of God!
Actually, down here where we live, NONE of my friends had children or got
married early. None at all. I was the only married one amongst my friends
for 4 years!!

~Jonna~


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Susan McGlohn

--- PSoroosh@... wrote:
> In a message dated 12/13/2001 2:24:20 PM Pacific
> Standard Time,
> eclectichomeschooler@... writes:
>
>
> > Funny, I've never heard that before. How do you
> know
> > it is the coming thing?
>
> Put in "courtship" "marriage" and "homeschooling"
> into a search engine. There
> is a lot of stuff out there.
>
> Pam Sorooshian


Okay. Did it. At Google.com. There is lots about
courtship, about Christian courtship, about courtship
and marriage, etc. But not a thing about arranged
marriages in our society. Hmmm...

So, I typed in christian+arranged marriages. Again,
NOTHING about arranged marriages in the christian
community in the USA. LOTS about arranged marriages
in India and even Australia, though. But that is a
cultural thing, not a "christian" thing.

So, again I propose that there is either an erroneous
assumption being made that courtship and arranged
marriage is the same thing (it is not), Or that
someone comparing the two does not understand the
difference in the two terms.




=====
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my web page:
http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html

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Susan McGlohn

We have a rather unique Solstice Celebration...we have
a birthday party! It is my birthday :-)

Must be why I am a "night owl". Born on the day with
the least amount of sunlight.





=====
{}
Susan c[__]
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[email protected]

In a message dated 12/13/2001 5:05:13 PM Pacific Standard Time,
eclectichomeschooler@... writes:


> So, again I propose that there is either an erroneous
> assumption being made that courtship and arranged
> marriage is the same thing (it is not), Or that
> someone comparing the two does not understand the
> difference in the two terms.

Sorry - I said courtship because I was in the middle of reading an article by
someone who was describing why they did NOT any longer promote courtship, but
promoted "betrothal" (which looks a whole lot like an arranged marriage to
me) instead. I meant to say put in: betrothal, not courtship. (Although even
courtship, as it is often explained, sounds like arranged marriage in some
cases. I mean, it sounds like an arranged marriage almost exactly like my
friend from India had -- her parents found her the guy and they were
introduced. She had the right to say no if she really thought he was a
terrible match, but as she told me, "My mother is my 'well-wisher' and I
trust her choice and don't think I could do better." On the other hand,
people I know who have practiced courtship have often looked liked serial
dating, with dad choosing the dates <G>.

No easy answers.

pam



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/13/01 4:01:20 PM, eclectichomeschooler@... writes:

<< It's too bad that generalizations are applied across
the board to an entire group of people, based on the
practice of a few individuals/subgroups. >>

That didn't happen. The question was why someone suggested early marriages
might be more likely among Christians, and this was the answer. We're
talking generalizations in the first place.

Being defensive and testy isn't a good thing for this list. Those who wish
to participate in this list needs to be able to discuss issues and not people.

<<I am a Christian in a huge protestant evangelical
church here in VA, and although courtship is
definitely encouraged, I have not heard a thing about
arranged marriages within the Christian community.>>

Just because a person hasn't heard it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

<<So, again I propose that there is either an erroneous
assumption being made that courtship and arranged
marriage is the same thing (it is not), Or that
someone comparing the two does not understand the
difference in the two terms.>>

Did you enter Christian arranged marriage?

I've read two articles in the past several months. One in Focus on the
Family (paper) and the other in Home School Digest (website).

The idea that Christian homeschooled girls don't need college is promoted by
SEVERAL factions within the "more conservative than thou" Christian
homeschooling community. There's one curriculum that has a different set of
materials for boys and girls.

The article in Focus on the Family (I think that was the one) was dismissive
of courtship saying it was just a form of Christian dating, and that if girls
were going to be submissive and obedient they'd marnumber do and will.

Christian symbolism is based very much on shepherds and sheep. When a
religious leader of a group that is making all KINDS of life decisions based
on what he says says courtship is sinful, they'll abandon that practice in a
heartbeat.

There are Christian leaders who are critical of adoption, of families having
other adults living in the home (relatives or not), of ANY rock music
(including Christian rock), and there are families who give them money to
tell them MORE to do and MORE exactly how to live their lives.

The fact that those exist doesn't generalize to all Christians. The fact
that some Christians have never even heard of those things doesn't negate
their existence.

Sandra

Susan McGlohn

--- SandraDodd@... wrote:

>
> Being defensive and testy isn't a good thing for
> this list. Those who wish
> to participate in this list needs to be able to
> discuss issues and not people.


Sandra,

I was being neither defensive nor testy. I wasn't
directing that towards anyone in particular, nor even
anyone on this list in particular.

I am sorry you took it that way. It certainly wasn't
intended as such. I was simply musing about how
generalizations color the view of an entire group of
people by the few we happen to meet. Unfortunately,
tone of voice and intent doesn't always translate well
in e-mail.

>
> <<I am a Christian in a huge protestant evangelical
> church here in VA, and although courtship is
> definitely encouraged, I have not heard a thing
> about
> arranged marriages within the Christian community.>>
>
> Just because a person hasn't heard it doesn't mean
> it doesn't exist.


I never said it didn't. I simply said I hadn't heard
of it, even though I am in the middle of the movement
that supposedly promotes it.



>
> Did you enter Christian arranged marriage?


No.

>
> The idea that Christian homeschooled girls don't
> need college is promoted by
> SEVERAL factions within the "more conservative than
> thou" Christian
> homeschooling community. There's one curriculum
> that has a different set of
> materials for boys and girls.


What has that got to do with *arranged marriages*? I
don't see the connection.

Personally, I don't think anyone *needs* college
unless they are going into a specialized field.


>
> The fact that those exist doesn't generalize to all
> Christians. The fact
> that some Christians have never even heard of those
> things doesn't negate
> their existence.
>
> Sandra


Sandra, I feel you are being rather harsh with me, and
I wasn't trying to get your dander up. I was simply
trying to present my views on the subject.

I apologize for offending you, or anyone else.



=====
{}
Susan c[__]
eclectichomeschooler@...
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my web page:
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Tia Leschke

>
>They seem very happy. All I can do is hope it lasts. Erin's mother was
>only just 17 when she got married, and had her first son a year later.
>They are still happily married with six kids. So here's hoping. I do
>love them both :-) And I am looking forward to the home birth of my
>grandchild, to which I have been invited :-)

My daughter had her first at 19. It's all my fault for having her brother
when she was 12. <g> Her maternal instincts kicked in and all she wanted
after that was to be a mother. She picked the wrong father for the first
one, but finally found a keeper. I was outside the bedroom door for the
first home birth and right in the room for the second. I was in charge of
big sister, and she got to cut the cord. It's a pretty special experience
watching your grandchild being born. I get to do it again in August!
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Tia Leschke

>
>We have a rather unique Solstice Celebration...we have
>a birthday party! It is my birthday :-)

And my granddaughter's. She'll be 7 on your birthday.
Tia

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
*********************************************
Tia Leschke
leschke@...
On Vancouver Island

Susan McGlohn

Thanks, Pam, for your thoughts and suggestion. I will
do a search as you suggest in a while.

I think, though, I will bow out of any more discussion
on-list about this.




=====
{}
Susan c[__]
eclectichomeschooler@...
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my web page:
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Susan McGlohn

--- Tia Leschke <leschke@...> wrote:
>
> >
> >We have a rather unique Solstice Celebration...we
> have
> >a birthday party! It is my birthday :-)
>
> And my granddaughter's. She'll be 7 on your
> birthday.
> Tia

That is so wonderful! Being a Solstice/Christmas
season baby is so fun! For years I thought all the
lights and decorations were just for my birthday! LOL

I actually have two "birthdays" since my parents used
to celebrate my adoption day as well.

They were always careful to make sure my birthday was
special and separate from Christmas as much as
possible, right down to a full force birthday party
even though they were worn out with holiday stuff.
Although some of my presents inevitably arrive wrapped
in christmas paper these days. ;-)



=====
{}
Susan c[__]
eclectichomeschooler@...
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my web page:
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Joseph Fuerst

Susan,
The holiday baby discussion occurred here recently.....maybe you weren't
here yet. Most of us talked of how we hansle this for our children. Kinda
cool to see how you appreciate the specialnes of this kind of birthday as a
grown-up. I know that's what I try to promote with my dd.
Every year, she gets to hear how she' the greatest Christmas gift I and her
dad have ever received! (dd's b-day is 12/24)
Susan
----- Original Message -----
From: "Susan McGlohn" <eclectichomeschooler@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, December 13, 2001 11:02 PM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Solstice Celebrations


>
> --- Tia Leschke <leschke@...> wrote:
> >
> > >
> > >We have a rather unique Solstice Celebration...we
> > have
> > >a birthday party! It is my birthday :-)
> >
> > And my granddaughter's. She'll be 7 on your
> > birthday.
> > Tia
>
> That is so wonderful! Being a Solstice/Christmas
> season baby is so fun! For years I thought all the
> lights and decorations were just for my birthday! LOL
>
> I actually have two "birthdays" since my parents used
> to celebrate my adoption day as well.
>
> They were always careful to make sure my birthday was
> special and separate from Christmas as much as
> possible, right down to a full force birthday party
> even though they were worn out with holiday stuff.
> Although some of my presents inevitably arrive wrapped
> in christmas paper these days. ;-)
>
>
>
> =====
> {}
> Susan c[__]
> eclectichomeschooler@...
> AOL IM: WifeToVegman
>
> my web page:
> http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html
>
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[email protected]

<< > Did you enter Christian arranged marriage?


<<No.
>>

I meant at google.com, not in life.

VERY ambiguous question; sorry.

Susan McGlohn

--- SandraDodd@... wrote:
>
> << > Did you enter Christian arranged marriage?
>
>
> <<No.
> >>
>
> I meant at google.com, not in life.
>
> VERY ambiguous question; sorry.


OH! LOL! Yes, I did. As I said before in another
post, it came up with all sorts of hits for India and
Australia (haven't figured out the aussy one yet!),
but nothing that I could find for USA.

Like you said, it doesn't mean it isn't there or
doesn't exist, I just haven't heard of it.




=====
{}
Susan c[__]
eclectichomeschooler@...
AOL IM: WifeToVegman

my web page:
http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for all of
your unique holiday gifts! Buy at http://shopping.yahoo.com
or bid at http://auctions.yahoo.com

Susan McGlohn

--- Joseph Fuerst <fuerst@...> wrote:
> Susan,
> The holiday baby discussion occurred here
> recently.....maybe you weren't
> here yet.

No, I wasn't, but I will check the archives for it!
Thanks for letting me know!



=====
{}
Susan c[__]
eclectichomeschooler@...
AOL IM: WifeToVegman

my web page:
http://theeclectichomeschooler.homestead.com/TheEclecticHomeshooler.html

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Check out Yahoo! Shopping and Yahoo! Auctions for all of
your unique holiday gifts! Buy at http://shopping.yahoo.com
or bid at http://auctions.yahoo.com

Fetteroll

on 12/13/01 8:02 PM, Susan McGlohn at eclectichomeschooler@... wrote:

> So, again I propose that there is either an erroneous
> assumption being made that courtship and arranged
> marriage is the same thing (it is not), Or that
> someone comparing the two does not understand the
> difference in the two terms.

Here's something from the teen area of Crosswalk (The intersection of faith
and life), a christian website.

http://teens.crosswalk.com/partner/Article_Display_Page/0,,PTID74457%7CCHID1
98784%7CCIID894214,00.html

> In the last several years, the term "courtship" has become more and more
> popular among Christian circles to describe various methods of engaging in a
> serious romantic relationship. For some Christians, courtship means an
> approach to marriage that is almost the same thing as an arranged marriage.
> Your parents pick your future mate and there is hardly any one-on-one contact
> before marriage. For others, it means the same thing as a serious dating
> relationship. You decide to court someone when you are thinking about perhaps
> marrying that person.
>
> Still others use the term "courtship" to describe a set of biblical principles
> that Christians should follow in their approach to romance. These principles
> usually include: 1) Seeking and receiving the approval of parents before
> entering into a romantic relationship; 2) Waiting to start a serious
> relationship until you are at the age where you could consider getting
> married; 3) Entering into the relationship with the purpose of pursuing the
> idea of marriage, not just going out for fun with no serious intentions; and
> 4) Setting high standards for physical purity.
> I think that the four principles listed above are important for every
> Christian to follow. Whether you want to call it courtship or dating doesn't
> matter. The principles are what's important. For more info on why they're so
> important, check out my previous columns about relationships in my archives. I
> almost always include a discussion on at least one of these four principles
> when I write about relationships.

Joyce



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/13/2001 5:48:11 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:


> --- In AlwaysLearning@y..., KathrynJB@a... wrote:
> > Here's something I've thought about a lot. Does anyone else have
> any
> > discomfort about all the very young marriages that seem to be
> happening among
> > homeschoolers? I don't even mean among the Christian homeschoolers,
> where one
> > might expect it...
>
>
>
> Just curious, Kathryn, why would you expect it among Christian
> homeschoolers?
>

No judgements intended. I've just read a lot about moves in conservative
Christian communities toward eliminating dating (courtship) in favor of
parent-arranged marriages, often at an earlier age.

Even not considering that, Mary Hood talked a little about early marriages
among homeschoolers at a conference I attended. (She disapproved.
Sidenote--I attended this conference not knowing how traditional it was going
to be, as one of the keynote speakers was David Albert. Having early in our
homeschooling career picked up at the library a sweet little book called "Out
of the Yellow Bus and into the Gates of Hell -- or something like it-- I
expected to loathe Mary Hood. Actually, she wasn't that bad.)

Kathryn


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

I also have an arranged marriage story.
In my college days I took a class with a young woman from India. She was
probably 20 or so. She told us that her marriage was arranged and that this
was a very common practice in her caste (?). She told us the story of how
they were introduced about 2 weeks before the wedding. Our small group of
female students was fascinated by the trust in her parents and willingness
to go along with a practice that to us was completely bizarre and outdated.
(and the fact that she actually loved this virtual stranger) About halfway
through the semester I bumped into the young woman and her husband at the
mall. This guy was GEORGEOUS!!!! Like a movie star. Boy did she get lucky.
He also was a very nice man - which I know is more important than looks but
what a BONUS!
LOL
Elissa