Child is unschooling, mom needs to deschool again
Tina Tarbutton
As some background, our 11 y/o goes to his fathers house for 3-6 months at a
time in another state. We share custody with a pretty flexible visitation
schedule that floats around depending on finances and what works for Draven
(the 11 y/o) and everyone else at the time. When he's here we are radical
unschoolers, up there he has more rules and rigidity in his life but this
last visit his father didn't require any school work (and he possibly won't
from here on out).
Draven got back from a 4 month visit with his dad a few days ago and it
dawned on me tonight that while he's happily continuing to unschool here in
our home, I'm in serious need of deschooling again. Today I asked if he
wanted to do madlibs with me, not because I thought it would be fun, but
because I wanted to cover grammar, and while he was helping with dinner I
wanted him to use the analog clock to time the french fries even after he
pointed out that setting his cell phone alarm would be much easier.
We've been unschooling for going on 3 years now and most of the time it just
is . . . . I don't have to think about it. Today while I wasn't thinking I
was doing many things I wasn't supposed to be doing.
I'm finding myself trying to quantify the time I've missed with him while he
was gone I think. His feet are this much bigger, he's this much taller, and
perhaps I'm trying to find out if he's learned this or that or forgotten
this or that.
I see the difference in him though. I bought the Mad Libs book 5 years ago
or so and I think we've done 2 of the stories in all that time. Today we
sat and did quite a few of them together. Even though I brought it up for
the wrong reasons, he was able to see it as fun and not something to make
him read or something to make him write. Now I just need to get my head
back into the right space.
Tina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
time in another state. We share custody with a pretty flexible visitation
schedule that floats around depending on finances and what works for Draven
(the 11 y/o) and everyone else at the time. When he's here we are radical
unschoolers, up there he has more rules and rigidity in his life but this
last visit his father didn't require any school work (and he possibly won't
from here on out).
Draven got back from a 4 month visit with his dad a few days ago and it
dawned on me tonight that while he's happily continuing to unschool here in
our home, I'm in serious need of deschooling again. Today I asked if he
wanted to do madlibs with me, not because I thought it would be fun, but
because I wanted to cover grammar, and while he was helping with dinner I
wanted him to use the analog clock to time the french fries even after he
pointed out that setting his cell phone alarm would be much easier.
We've been unschooling for going on 3 years now and most of the time it just
is . . . . I don't have to think about it. Today while I wasn't thinking I
was doing many things I wasn't supposed to be doing.
I'm finding myself trying to quantify the time I've missed with him while he
was gone I think. His feet are this much bigger, he's this much taller, and
perhaps I'm trying to find out if he's learned this or that or forgotten
this or that.
I see the difference in him though. I bought the Mad Libs book 5 years ago
or so and I think we've done 2 of the stories in all that time. Today we
sat and did quite a few of them together. Even though I brought it up for
the wrong reasons, he was able to see it as fun and not something to make
him read or something to make him write. Now I just need to get my head
back into the right space.
Tina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-We've been unschooling for going on 3 years now and most of the time it just
is . . . . I don't have to think about it. Today while I wasn't thinking I
was doing many things I wasn't supposed to be doing.-=-
Instead of thinking of it as "wasn't supposed to be doing" (as though you broke a rule) it might help to think of it as being out of practice making the better choice ("better" meaning the one you prefer and feel good about, for whatever reason).
-=- Even though I brought it up for
the wrong reasons, he was able to see it as fun and not something to make
him read or something to make him write.-=-
When you mentioned madlibs in the beginning of the post, I pictured YOU doing the reading and writing, and him naming the words. That would be less intrusive/pushy/test-like, and still fun. And probably faster and funnier!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
is . . . . I don't have to think about it. Today while I wasn't thinking I
was doing many things I wasn't supposed to be doing.-=-
Instead of thinking of it as "wasn't supposed to be doing" (as though you broke a rule) it might help to think of it as being out of practice making the better choice ("better" meaning the one you prefer and feel good about, for whatever reason).
-=- Even though I brought it up for
the wrong reasons, he was able to see it as fun and not something to make
him read or something to make him write.-=-
When you mentioned madlibs in the beginning of the post, I pictured YOU doing the reading and writing, and him naming the words. That would be less intrusive/pushy/test-like, and still fun. And probably faster and funnier!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]