Karin

<<<<--- In AlwaysLearning@y..., "Suzanna and Darrell"
<truealaskans@p...> wrote:

I doubt that I could get my husband to read any books. I have
tried before; he will start them but he doesn't usually get far. He
doesn't like to read. He still has yet to make it all the way through
an algebra course. He says that the reason he wants me to do
"school" schooling with them is because he doesn't want them
to wind up like him.

Suzanna>>>>



Oh Suzanna, (don't you cry for me......sorry!!......couldn't resist ;-).
Seriously, I've been following this thread for a while and haven't yet commented because the moment didn't feel right. But now it does.

My dh was pretty reluctant about yet ANOTHER new-fangled, crazy idea I had about raising our kids. I have done home-birth, no vax, vegetarian, alternative medicine, homeschooling and finally UNschooling. Sheesh! I'll give him credit, he has been very good to me in allowing me to follow MY passions with OUR kids. But when I started unschooling the kids (pretty much happened the day after I found unschooling.com), he was a little extra-concerned. Still, after voicing his concerns and him listening to me talk passionately about unschooling, he backed down and kept quiet for the most part. All along the way these past 7 months since unschooling, I've been SLOWLY incorporating unschooling into our daily lives. I'll see a post that I think will speak to him and I show him or print it out for him to read. I point things out to him that relate to unschooling when I recognize the opportunity to do so. Most importantly, he can recognize himself in my younger son, when dh was his age. DH has told me he was always an average to below-average student and the teachers never understood him and he was punished for that. HE knows that HE was really fine on the inside ALL HIS LIFE and it was the teachers who didn't get HIM. HE KNOWS that if he applies himself to anything that he sets his mind to, he can achieve any goal, regardless of what anyone thinks about him. This below-grade-average guy went on to get his bachelors and masters degree in college and has taught himself all kinds of programming, which he does for a living.

So, my point in telling you all this is that he can finally recognize that unschooling is best for our boys. (We have 2 boys - 11 & 9). He has faith and trusts that our 9yo who can't really read yet, doesn't take direction and orders well, who has ADD-like symptoms sometimes and would probably be a carbon copy of his dad in school right now, will be JUST FINE in the end, like he is. The more discussions we're having, the more I can tell HE IS GETTING UNSCHOOLING! He has not read any unschooling books because he doesn't really like to read (except big, thick, 1000 page computer programming books!). I have just been patient with him, as he has been with me. It also helps to see other kids who are unschooled - of all ages, and talk to families who unschool. That makes us BOTH feel less isolated in our unschooling decison.

My advice, try to get your husband to relate to your kids, to see himself as he once was their age. "School" schooling and "homeschooling" are really the same when you force kids to learn about things that they aren't interested in. Remind him of how he learns things best - when it is forced upon him or when he has a genuine interest in it. Talk with him about how you see unschooling benefitting your kids well into the future and ALWAYS be on the lookout for posts that you think explain unschooling in words he can understand.

Good luck to you and best wishes.

Karin

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