Alternative to Mainstream "My Promise"
iaunschoolers
I've seen this sentiment before -- in emails and now Facebook. It seems
like there was an unschooling-influenced alternative version of it once
but I can't remember where I saw it. Does anybody know where it was?
If I can't find it, I may have to write one of my own. I just can't let
this sit out there in cyber-space without a counter comment.
"My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. I
will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your
worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I
LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible
adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries
about you more than I do! And I don't care how old you are, you are
still my child."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
like there was an unschooling-influenced alternative version of it once
but I can't remember where I saw it. Does anybody know where it was?
If I can't find it, I may have to write one of my own. I just can't let
this sit out there in cyber-space without a counter comment.
"My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. I
will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your
worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I
LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible
adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries
about you more than I do! And I don't care how old you are, you are
still my child."
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- I just can't let
this sit out there in cyber-space without a counter comment.
"My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. ...-=-
Yeah you can.
You can let it sit out there in cyber space without comment, while being grateful for not feeling that way yourself.
Sometimes peace in our own souls and in our children's homes means not dragging every ugly quotation home to think about.
Better than commenting is not to comment, sometimes.
Better than reading and not commenting, very many times, is just not reading that stuff in the first place.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
this sit out there in cyber-space without a counter comment.
"My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. ...-=-
Yeah you can.
You can let it sit out there in cyber space without comment, while being grateful for not feeling that way yourself.
Sometimes peace in our own souls and in our children's homes means not dragging every ugly quotation home to think about.
Better than commenting is not to comment, sometimes.
Better than reading and not commenting, very many times, is just not reading that stuff in the first place.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Chris Sanders
Right, I could let it sit out there without comment. It was dramatic to say I can't.
I didn't drag it home to think about it - it showed up on my Facebook Home page because I chose to be friends with someone who would post something like that. Someone who I think is a loving and well meaning mother. She's also my daughter's FB friend. Yesterday a young unschooled girl who is another mutual FB friend, sat in my living room and read the post aloud to her mom, my daughter and me, and said that she liked it. The mom agreed. My own daughter listened, without comment. I didn't comment because I didn't want to create a conflict with my young friend. They were needing to leave soon and I didn't want to ruin our peaceful visit. However, I'd like to offer an alternative for my young friend and her mother to have an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. I'd like my daughter to be able to read an alternative and to think about it. She likes to think about different parenting practices and philosophies.
I'm sorry if bringing it to this list created an unwelcome disturbance.
Chris
I didn't drag it home to think about it - it showed up on my Facebook Home page because I chose to be friends with someone who would post something like that. Someone who I think is a loving and well meaning mother. She's also my daughter's FB friend. Yesterday a young unschooled girl who is another mutual FB friend, sat in my living room and read the post aloud to her mom, my daughter and me, and said that she liked it. The mom agreed. My own daughter listened, without comment. I didn't comment because I didn't want to create a conflict with my young friend. They were needing to leave soon and I didn't want to ruin our peaceful visit. However, I'd like to offer an alternative for my young friend and her mother to have an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. I'd like my daughter to be able to read an alternative and to think about it. She likes to think about different parenting practices and philosophies.
I'm sorry if bringing it to this list created an unwelcome disturbance.
Chris
On Aug 30, 2011, at 10:33 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
> -=- I just can't let
> this sit out there in cyber-space without a counter comment.
> "My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. ...-=-
>
> Yeah you can.
>
> You can let it sit out there in cyber space without comment, while being grateful for not feeling that way yourself.
>
> Sometimes peace in our own souls and in our children's homes means not dragging every ugly quotation home to think about.
>
> Better than commenting is not to comment, sometimes.
> Better than reading and not commenting, very many times, is just not reading that stuff in the first place.
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
sheeboo2
--- I'd like my daughter to be able to read an alternative and to think about it. She likes to think about different parenting practices and philosophies.-------
You could read the "I'm that mom" blog carnival that went around last year:
http://zombieprincess.blogspot.com/2010/07/im-that-mom.html
And maybe come up with your own version.
There is a lovely post Pam wrote about being her children's friend that Lyla has on her blog:
http://lylawolf.blogspot.com/2010/07/youre-their-parent-not-their-friend.html
Oh, and it's own Sandra's site too with more good stuff, on "Partners not Advisaries"
http://sandradodd.com/partners/child
I let myself get sucked in to an "unschooler" blog/website last night that was anything but and I wish I hadn't let my good mood get cloudy with that woman's vile, hollow, fear-filled rants. Sandra's right--it is usually better to just turn around and 'walk' away. Maintain the peace at home rather than bring all that yuck in.
Brie
You could read the "I'm that mom" blog carnival that went around last year:
http://zombieprincess.blogspot.com/2010/07/im-that-mom.html
And maybe come up with your own version.
There is a lovely post Pam wrote about being her children's friend that Lyla has on her blog:
http://lylawolf.blogspot.com/2010/07/youre-their-parent-not-their-friend.html
Oh, and it's own Sandra's site too with more good stuff, on "Partners not Advisaries"
http://sandradodd.com/partners/child
I let myself get sucked in to an "unschooler" blog/website last night that was anything but and I wish I hadn't let my good mood get cloudy with that woman's vile, hollow, fear-filled rants. Sandra's right--it is usually better to just turn around and 'walk' away. Maintain the peace at home rather than bring all that yuck in.
Brie
Sandra Dodd
-=
I'm sorry if bringing it to this list created an unwelcome disturbance.-=-
No, it was an opportunit for a reminder that people don't *have to* try to convert others. We can be living more peaceful lives and wait for them to ask.
-=-Someone who I think is a loving and well meaning mother. She's also my daughter's FB friend. Yesterday a young unschooled girl who is another mutual FB friend, sat in my living room and read the post aloud to her mom, my daughter and me, and said that she liked it. The mom agreed. My own daughter listened, without comment. I didn't comment because I didn't want to create a conflict with my young friend. They were needing to leave soon and I didn't want to ruin our peaceful visit. However, I'd like to offer an alternative for my young friend and her mother to have an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. I'd like my daughter to be able to read an alternative and to think about it. She likes to think about different parenting practices and philosophies.-=-
That's all different from just seeing it on facebook and getting the urge to respond. :-)
Did you try googling for that alternate/response version? (Probably you did...)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I'm sorry if bringing it to this list created an unwelcome disturbance.-=-
No, it was an opportunit for a reminder that people don't *have to* try to convert others. We can be living more peaceful lives and wait for them to ask.
-=-Someone who I think is a loving and well meaning mother. She's also my daughter's FB friend. Yesterday a young unschooled girl who is another mutual FB friend, sat in my living room and read the post aloud to her mom, my daughter and me, and said that she liked it. The mom agreed. My own daughter listened, without comment. I didn't comment because I didn't want to create a conflict with my young friend. They were needing to leave soon and I didn't want to ruin our peaceful visit. However, I'd like to offer an alternative for my young friend and her mother to have an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. I'd like my daughter to be able to read an alternative and to think about it. She likes to think about different parenting practices and philosophies.-=-
That's all different from just seeing it on facebook and getting the urge to respond. :-)
Did you try googling for that alternate/response version? (Probably you did...)
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
hmbpie
="My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. I
will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do! And I don't care how old you are, you are still my child."=
I've seen this before too and it makes me feel all twisted up inside because that's how my mother viewed our relationship and I remember what it feels like to be thought of as a possesion instead of a person. Actually, that's how my mom STILL views our relationship and I am 35 and far from being a child. (it's been two years since we spoke.) I take a deep breath when I see things like this. Sometimes a couple. Sometimes it takes a minute of breathing to move those feelings out.
=you are still my child=
I read this as, "You are still MY child." With "my" said with big, bold, loud expression. Maybe that's because that's how my mom would say it. That's baggage I get to heal by NOT having that attitude towards Austin. When I am Austin's friend it feels good. When I play with him and talk with him it feels really good! Sometimes I think about my mom when I am doing something with Austin that she didn't do with me (like play dolls) and I feel a little sad for her. Sad, that maybe because she was the middle of seven kids her mom didn't have time to play with her or show her much affection. That brings me closer to understanding her and farther away from resenting her.
I'm really, really glad Austin feels like a person and not a possession. I'm so grateful that through being Ausin's friend and partner I can heal the baggage that came from being raised with the attitude stated above.
will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do! And I don't care how old you are, you are still my child."=
I've seen this before too and it makes me feel all twisted up inside because that's how my mother viewed our relationship and I remember what it feels like to be thought of as a possesion instead of a person. Actually, that's how my mom STILL views our relationship and I am 35 and far from being a child. (it's been two years since we spoke.) I take a deep breath when I see things like this. Sometimes a couple. Sometimes it takes a minute of breathing to move those feelings out.
=you are still my child=
I read this as, "You are still MY child." With "my" said with big, bold, loud expression. Maybe that's because that's how my mom would say it. That's baggage I get to heal by NOT having that attitude towards Austin. When I am Austin's friend it feels good. When I play with him and talk with him it feels really good! Sometimes I think about my mom when I am doing something with Austin that she didn't do with me (like play dolls) and I feel a little sad for her. Sad, that maybe because she was the middle of seven kids her mom didn't have time to play with her or show her much affection. That brings me closer to understanding her and farther away from resenting her.
I'm really, really glad Austin feels like a person and not a possession. I'm so grateful that through being Ausin's friend and partner I can heal the baggage that came from being raised with the attitude stated above.
--- In [email protected], "iaunschoolers" <iowaunschoolers@...> wrote:
>
> I've seen this sentiment before -- in emails and now Facebook. It seems
> like there was an unschooling-influenced alternative version of it once
> but I can't remember where I saw it. Does anybody know where it was?
> If I can't find it, I may have to write one of my own. I just can't let
> this sit out there in cyber-space without a counter comment.
> "My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. I
> will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your
> worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I
> LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible
> adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries
> about you more than I do! And I don't care how old you are, you are
> still my child."
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
hmbpie
=I'm sorry if bringing it to this list created an unwelcome disturbance.=
-=No, it was an opportunit for a reminder that people don't *have to* try to
convert others. We can be living more peaceful lives and wait for them to ask.=-
A reminder I really needed!
-=No, it was an opportunit for a reminder that people don't *have to* try to
convert others. We can be living more peaceful lives and wait for them to ask.=-
A reminder I really needed!
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=
> I'm sorry if bringing it to this list created an unwelcome disturbance.-=-
>
> No, it was an opportunit for a reminder that people don't *have to* try to convert others. We can be living more peaceful lives and wait for them to ask.
>
> -=-Someone who I think is a loving and well meaning mother. She's also my daughter's FB friend. Yesterday a young unschooled girl who is another mutual FB friend, sat in my living room and read the post aloud to her mom, my daughter and me, and said that she liked it. The mom agreed. My own daughter listened, without comment. I didn't comment because I didn't want to create a conflict with my young friend. They were needing to leave soon and I didn't want to ruin our peaceful visit. However, I'd like to offer an alternative for my young friend and her mother to have an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. I'd like my daughter to be able to read an alternative and to think about it. She likes to think about different parenting practices and philosophies.-=-
>
> That's all different from just seeing it on facebook and getting the urge to respond. :-)
>
> Did you try googling for that alternate/response version? (Probably you did...)
>
> Sandra
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
railyuh
Is this it?
------------
Here's my version, and my promise.
My promise to my children. I am your friend. I am your mom. I will protect you, listen to you, respect you, support you, be your strongest advocate & give you wings to fly when you are ready because I LOVE YOU. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, and cares about you more than I do.
http://www.jennifermcgrail.com/2011/06/my-promise-to-my-children.html
----------------
------------
Here's my version, and my promise.
My promise to my children. I am your friend. I am your mom. I will protect you, listen to you, respect you, support you, be your strongest advocate & give you wings to fly when you are ready because I LOVE YOU. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, and cares about you more than I do.
http://www.jennifermcgrail.com/2011/06/my-promise-to-my-children.html
----------------
Deb Lewis
***My promise to my children. I am your friend. I am your mom. I will protect you, listen to you, respect you, support you, be your strongest advocate & give you wings to fly when you are ready because I LOVE YOU. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, and cares about you more than I do. ***
This still bugs me. <g>
Do you really mean to promise your kid she will never find someone who loves her more than you do? It seems kind of creepy.<g> I might really believe I love Dylan so much no one could love him more, but I think I'll keep that to myself. <g> I may be having a flash back to my mom's expert guilt trippy manipulation. My child's life shouldn't be about me. His experience in love shouldn't be measured against his mother's love, or professed love. I hope he's been able to see and understand the value of respect and kindness in a loving relationship so that he'll be more likely to be with people who are respectful and kind.
I really like the first part and I understand the last part, but it bugs me. It's much better than that horrible original. Flipped out stalker mom might need some therapy and medication.
I hope there are a LOT of people in Dylan's life who love him. If it's possible they can love him more than I do, all the better for him. :o)
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
This still bugs me. <g>
Do you really mean to promise your kid she will never find someone who loves her more than you do? It seems kind of creepy.<g> I might really believe I love Dylan so much no one could love him more, but I think I'll keep that to myself. <g> I may be having a flash back to my mom's expert guilt trippy manipulation. My child's life shouldn't be about me. His experience in love shouldn't be measured against his mother's love, or professed love. I hope he's been able to see and understand the value of respect and kindness in a loving relationship so that he'll be more likely to be with people who are respectful and kind.
I really like the first part and I understand the last part, but it bugs me. It's much better than that horrible original. Flipped out stalker mom might need some therapy and medication.
I hope there are a LOT of people in Dylan's life who love him. If it's possible they can love him more than I do, all the better for him. :o)
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
shirarocklin
I just wrote one, only because I've had a hankering for some creative writing today, and it seemed interested to think about.
To my children. I will always strive to show you my love, respect and support. I will listen to you, protect you, and be your advocate. I will share my joy in life with you. I will find the funny and fun with you. I will look for the new and exciting with you. I will cuddle and provide for you. I will strive for these things because I LOVE YOU, from here to the moon and back.
I avoided 'mother' and 'friend' because of the definitions people have in their heads of those two roles. I preferred to just express the characteristics I'd like to embody as their mother and friend (and something more which neither of those words quit describes).
Shira
To my children. I will always strive to show you my love, respect and support. I will listen to you, protect you, and be your advocate. I will share my joy in life with you. I will find the funny and fun with you. I will look for the new and exciting with you. I will cuddle and provide for you. I will strive for these things because I LOVE YOU, from here to the moon and back.
I avoided 'mother' and 'friend' because of the definitions people have in their heads of those two roles. I preferred to just express the characteristics I'd like to embody as their mother and friend (and something more which neither of those words quit describes).
Shira
Karen
> "My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. IMy promise to my children. I am your parent. I am your friend. I will walk with you, talk with you, remain solid and predictable. I will respect your choices, offer guidance, and be there whenever you need me. May you always know the love I feel for you, and may you find many who love, care, and trust you as much as I do. Whatever your age, know that our connection will always be strong, because I love you.
> will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your
> worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I
> LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible
> adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries
> about you more than I do! And I don't care how old you are, you are
> still my child."
Sara Evans
I felt like rewriting it too, so I posted:
My promise to my children: "I am your advocate and will strive to set you up
for success. I will let you have safe freedoms and privacy because I respect
you and trust you. I will always apologize if I say the wrong thing, because
I admit to mistakes as a parent yet to forgive is divine. You were a gift
but I don't own you. You are unconditionally loved and I am honored to
receive your love in return. When you understand that, I will know I have
done well as a parent."
--
Sara
Momi to RayeAnne ('01) and Arwen Vada ('06)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My promise to my children: "I am your advocate and will strive to set you up
for success. I will let you have safe freedoms and privacy because I respect
you and trust you. I will always apologize if I say the wrong thing, because
I admit to mistakes as a parent yet to forgive is divine. You were a gift
but I don't own you. You are unconditionally loved and I am honored to
receive your love in return. When you understand that, I will know I have
done well as a parent."
--
Sara
Momi to RayeAnne ('01) and Arwen Vada ('06)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sara Evans
Eegads how tired am I?! Could have used another proofread but the intention
is true.
is true.
On Wed, Aug 31, 2011 at 10:56 PM, Sara Evans <sunrayemomi@...> wrote:
> I felt like rewriting it too, so I posted:
>
> My promise to my children: "I am your advocate and will strive to set you
> up for success. I will let you have safe freedoms and privacy because I
> respect you and trust you. I will always apologize if I say the wrong thing,
> because I admit to mistakes as a parent yet to forgive is divine. You were a
> gift but I don't own you. You are unconditionally loved and I am honored to
> receive your love in return. When you understand that, I will know I have
> done well as a parent."
>
> --
> Sara
> Momi to RayeAnne ('01) and Arwen Vada ('06)
>
--
Sara
Momi to RayeAnne ('01) and Arwen Vada ('06)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
This is a beautiful blessing:
-=-may you find many who love, care, and trust you as much as I do. -=-
This is a curse:
-=-You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do! -=-
This is a stunning juxtaposition:
-=-You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do! And I don't care-=-
Karen wrote the first one.
Some crazed, controlling Christian mom wrote the first one.
The "I don't care" went on to say "And I don't care how old you are, you are still my child."
That package of ideas comes from various symbols and bits used in Christianity. "Child of God" (all humans being seen as children), and the loving God who blasts, smites and chastens. The merciful God who tells you what to do once, and then you decide: Heaven or Hell. It's your choice. Whatever happens after that isn't God's fault, God knows.
I've been to hundreds of Baptist sermons, Some people have been to thousands. So I've heard dozens of times and they've heard hundreds that the husband is called upon to be the head of his house as Christ is head of the church. If he wants to go to heaven, he will keep his wife Godly and will control his children until they're old enough to make that heaven-or-hell decision, with which they will live and die. And NO JOKE, he's reminded, God sees everything you do and knows everything you think, so get out there and don't be a WIMP, you sheep, you fish, you child.
There are other Christian sects that aren't so harsh. There are several that are MORE harsh--they also tell people exactly what to wear, what music they can't listen to (Christian rock is Right Out), no make-up, no haircuts (for women), no jewelry, no zippers, no buttons, no logos on t-shirts, not even Christian godly-men logos...
People outside the U.S. might rightly be wondering where I'm coming from with this and where I'm going. Liberal Christians within the U.S. might like to balance their calm, sensible, loving Christian churches with that, but even if the fundamentalists were outnumbered and outweighed, it wouldn't keep them from existing and being homeschoolers in very large numbers. And for them, for the kind of people who curse their children with their "NEVER" and their "don't care" wishes, the kind of sweet re-writes people on this list are making would be silly, wrong, and dangerous.
I went to look for some statistics on the size of the big Christian homeschooling conferences in the US, but found this and got distracted. It's a very brief description of an upcoming California conference, by someone who has been to a couple of them but no longer is "a Christian homeschooler" [American trademark style].
http://boremetotears.com/2010/03/31/will-chea-be-serving-tea-this-year/
It's interesting in lots of ways. No coffee? Obama? (She brings the names of a few of the topics (2010), which seem not to be about children or homeschooling at all.)
But this might need an explanation for those outside the U.S. (and some inside):
Cha-cha-cha-CHEA
is a reference to the television ads for Chia Pets (and Chea heads came later, but weren't advertised on TV, as far as I know).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzY7qQFij_M
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chia_Pet
Oh. I was wrong about that "weren't advertised" bit.
https://www.americanchia.com/?rtag=chiaobama&
So... Yes, Americans Christians can be Way OUT there, and yes, there are HUGE conferences of that kind of homeschooling and parenting.
Here's a quote from a vendor/presenter:
"A homeschool convention is like a religious revival meeting, because it is so filled with the spirit of parents and children bonding in a way that fulfills the true Godly function of the family.
"Most state-wide homeschool organizations are Christian in orientation, and that is because Christian parents were among the first Americans to understand what was happening to their children�s spiritual lives in the atheist, anti-Christian public schools. Rather than put their children in private schools, which they could not afford, they decided to homeschool, a form of education that existed in colonial times and in our early republic. The great advantage of homeschooling is that the parent does the educating and thereby creates a strong bond with one�s children."
http://www.thenewamerican.com/opinion/sam-blumenfeld/8127-get-to-a-homeschool-convention-and-see-americans-enjoying-educational-freedom
All that is to say that the original "My Promise" DOES look like love to a lot of parents, and it doesn't come out of the blue, and yes it seems harsh to unschoolers, and it probably is, but within its own context, that kind of oppressive parenting is understandable.
For myself, I hope my children find partners who will love them HUGELY and long after I'm gone, and that they have friends who love them and maybe someday children who love them.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-may you find many who love, care, and trust you as much as I do. -=-
This is a curse:
-=-You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do! -=-
This is a stunning juxtaposition:
-=-You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do! And I don't care-=-
Karen wrote the first one.
Some crazed, controlling Christian mom wrote the first one.
The "I don't care" went on to say "And I don't care how old you are, you are still my child."
That package of ideas comes from various symbols and bits used in Christianity. "Child of God" (all humans being seen as children), and the loving God who blasts, smites and chastens. The merciful God who tells you what to do once, and then you decide: Heaven or Hell. It's your choice. Whatever happens after that isn't God's fault, God knows.
I've been to hundreds of Baptist sermons, Some people have been to thousands. So I've heard dozens of times and they've heard hundreds that the husband is called upon to be the head of his house as Christ is head of the church. If he wants to go to heaven, he will keep his wife Godly and will control his children until they're old enough to make that heaven-or-hell decision, with which they will live and die. And NO JOKE, he's reminded, God sees everything you do and knows everything you think, so get out there and don't be a WIMP, you sheep, you fish, you child.
There are other Christian sects that aren't so harsh. There are several that are MORE harsh--they also tell people exactly what to wear, what music they can't listen to (Christian rock is Right Out), no make-up, no haircuts (for women), no jewelry, no zippers, no buttons, no logos on t-shirts, not even Christian godly-men logos...
People outside the U.S. might rightly be wondering where I'm coming from with this and where I'm going. Liberal Christians within the U.S. might like to balance their calm, sensible, loving Christian churches with that, but even if the fundamentalists were outnumbered and outweighed, it wouldn't keep them from existing and being homeschoolers in very large numbers. And for them, for the kind of people who curse their children with their "NEVER" and their "don't care" wishes, the kind of sweet re-writes people on this list are making would be silly, wrong, and dangerous.
I went to look for some statistics on the size of the big Christian homeschooling conferences in the US, but found this and got distracted. It's a very brief description of an upcoming California conference, by someone who has been to a couple of them but no longer is "a Christian homeschooler" [American trademark style].
http://boremetotears.com/2010/03/31/will-chea-be-serving-tea-this-year/
It's interesting in lots of ways. No coffee? Obama? (She brings the names of a few of the topics (2010), which seem not to be about children or homeschooling at all.)
But this might need an explanation for those outside the U.S. (and some inside):
Cha-cha-cha-CHEA
is a reference to the television ads for Chia Pets (and Chea heads came later, but weren't advertised on TV, as far as I know).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzY7qQFij_M
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chia_Pet
Oh. I was wrong about that "weren't advertised" bit.
https://www.americanchia.com/?rtag=chiaobama&
So... Yes, Americans Christians can be Way OUT there, and yes, there are HUGE conferences of that kind of homeschooling and parenting.
Here's a quote from a vendor/presenter:
"A homeschool convention is like a religious revival meeting, because it is so filled with the spirit of parents and children bonding in a way that fulfills the true Godly function of the family.
"Most state-wide homeschool organizations are Christian in orientation, and that is because Christian parents were among the first Americans to understand what was happening to their children�s spiritual lives in the atheist, anti-Christian public schools. Rather than put their children in private schools, which they could not afford, they decided to homeschool, a form of education that existed in colonial times and in our early republic. The great advantage of homeschooling is that the parent does the educating and thereby creates a strong bond with one�s children."
http://www.thenewamerican.com/opinion/sam-blumenfeld/8127-get-to-a-homeschool-convention-and-see-americans-enjoying-educational-freedom
All that is to say that the original "My Promise" DOES look like love to a lot of parents, and it doesn't come out of the blue, and yes it seems harsh to unschoolers, and it probably is, but within its own context, that kind of oppressive parenting is understandable.
For myself, I hope my children find partners who will love them HUGELY and long after I'm gone, and that they have friends who love them and maybe someday children who love them.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tara
Someone asked me to post on here the one I put up July of last year. That original post bugged me so much I had to make one of my own.
Here it is:
PROMISE TO MY CHILDREN: I will love you, nurture you, talk with you, share with you, hold you, support you, respect you and trust you. I will know you are doing the best you can in any given moment and I hope you know I'm doing the same. May you find many people who love, care for and respect you like I do. Copy and paste if you feel the same way. ♥
Here it is:
PROMISE TO MY CHILDREN: I will love you, nurture you, talk with you, share with you, hold you, support you, respect you and trust you. I will know you are doing the best you can in any given moment and I hope you know I'm doing the same. May you find many people who love, care for and respect you like I do. Copy and paste if you feel the same way. ♥
--- In [email protected], "iaunschoolers" <iowaunschoolers@...> wrote:
>
> I've seen this sentiment before -- in emails and now Facebook. It seems
> like there was an unschooling-influenced alternative version of it once
> but I can't remember where I saw it. Does anybody know where it was?
> If I can't find it, I may have to write one of my own. I just can't let
> this sit out there in cyber-space without a counter comment.
> "My promise to my children. I am not your friend. I am your parent. I
> will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your
> worst nightmare & hunt you down like a bloodhound when needed because I
> LOVE YOU! When you understand that, I will know you are a responsible
> adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries
> about you more than I do! And I don't care how old you are, you are
> still my child."
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>