son doesn't want to go anywhere, I do
Lisa
Hi, my son is 8. For the most part we have a really super relationship and a great life. Last night I freaked out about something that has been building for a while.
My husband thinks the only reason I am so upset is because my period is coming and that could be part of it, but this bothers me even when it's not coming.
My son rarely wants to go anywhere or do anything. He wants to stay home and play video games or watch youtube by default. And, he wants his friends over all the time. (we have someone spending the night 4 to 6 nights a week)
I feel like I have made his life so sparkly, fun, and interesting that now there is no room in it for other things.
We lived in Hawaii 2 years ago and we moved to the mainland in part so we could travel. My son used to love to go and do new things and travel with us, but now that he is into video games he rarely wants to be far from the computer.
We just came back from a three day trip to Seattle and he said he 'didn't really want to go', but my husband and I did really want to go and we knew he used to love to travel so we talked him into it. We had the computer, he watched it on the whole drive and while we were in the room.
He was OK, he enjoyed certain things, but he was also a little mopey at the zoo and at the pier.
We considered taking a friend next time if it was possible so he would maybe have more fun.
Tonight is family night at his friend's house, so his friends can't spend the night so I asked if he wanted to go to the fair with me. He said no. (we haven't been since last year). Then he said that he would go if his friends could go with.
This hurts my feelings. a lot. I don't want to take his friends. And I actually wouldn't anyway because I can't afford to take his friends and his friends parents can't afford to pay for it. I want to go somewhere with my son and have fun like we used to.
He's only 8! And he always wants to be home (not at his friend's house) and he always wants to be with me but he rarely wants to do anything anymore. Just stay home.
I'm sad about it. and I feel like our life would be so much richer if he would occassionally want to go out and do things. We don't go hiking because he doesn't want to. We rarely go swimming. He doesn't want to go the trampoline place. or bowling. or anything else.
My husband thinks the only reason I am so upset is because my period is coming and that could be part of it, but this bothers me even when it's not coming.
My son rarely wants to go anywhere or do anything. He wants to stay home and play video games or watch youtube by default. And, he wants his friends over all the time. (we have someone spending the night 4 to 6 nights a week)
I feel like I have made his life so sparkly, fun, and interesting that now there is no room in it for other things.
We lived in Hawaii 2 years ago and we moved to the mainland in part so we could travel. My son used to love to go and do new things and travel with us, but now that he is into video games he rarely wants to be far from the computer.
We just came back from a three day trip to Seattle and he said he 'didn't really want to go', but my husband and I did really want to go and we knew he used to love to travel so we talked him into it. We had the computer, he watched it on the whole drive and while we were in the room.
He was OK, he enjoyed certain things, but he was also a little mopey at the zoo and at the pier.
We considered taking a friend next time if it was possible so he would maybe have more fun.
Tonight is family night at his friend's house, so his friends can't spend the night so I asked if he wanted to go to the fair with me. He said no. (we haven't been since last year). Then he said that he would go if his friends could go with.
This hurts my feelings. a lot. I don't want to take his friends. And I actually wouldn't anyway because I can't afford to take his friends and his friends parents can't afford to pay for it. I want to go somewhere with my son and have fun like we used to.
He's only 8! And he always wants to be home (not at his friend's house) and he always wants to be with me but he rarely wants to do anything anymore. Just stay home.
I'm sad about it. and I feel like our life would be so much richer if he would occassionally want to go out and do things. We don't go hiking because he doesn't want to. We rarely go swimming. He doesn't want to go the trampoline place. or bowling. or anything else.
Sandra Dodd
How long has this been going on? You said you moved two years ago, but you didn't give us more of the timeline.
kelly_sturman
== I want to go somewhere with my son and have fun like we used to... <snip> he always wants to be with me but he rarely wants to do anything anymore. Just stay home.==
Can you play games with him and watch youtube videos with him?
I used to feel jealous of my kids' passion for "screens" when I was holding onto the idea that other activities are inherently better. When I let go of that idea, I began to see how much fun the games and videos are, how interesting they are. Now my kids and I have lots of laughs while gaming together, and watching the videos together (and we all learn a lot, too). We have serious conversations, too, as when one of my boys was getting all his virtual money in the game by asking other players to give it to him. My other kids were giving him a hard time for "begging" and saying it would be better to earn the money himself. And I mentioned that in some cultures and religions, begging would not be seen as a negative thing, but maybe as more of an opportunity to be generous to the beggar. I also pointed out that asking other players for money takes as much time and effort as "legitimate" ways of making virtual money (fishing, mining, crafting, farming, etc., etc.) and requires specific skills (charm, persistence). It turned out to be a lively discussion. I also think I learned more about economics playing online role playing games than I learned in college economics courses!
Right now, three of my kids are sitting on the couch with me, and we've all got our laptops, and we're all playing and talking and enjoying one another's company. It's absolutely lovely, so much so that I wouldn't rather go to the zoo or the pier.
Kelly Sturman
Can you play games with him and watch youtube videos with him?
I used to feel jealous of my kids' passion for "screens" when I was holding onto the idea that other activities are inherently better. When I let go of that idea, I began to see how much fun the games and videos are, how interesting they are. Now my kids and I have lots of laughs while gaming together, and watching the videos together (and we all learn a lot, too). We have serious conversations, too, as when one of my boys was getting all his virtual money in the game by asking other players to give it to him. My other kids were giving him a hard time for "begging" and saying it would be better to earn the money himself. And I mentioned that in some cultures and religions, begging would not be seen as a negative thing, but maybe as more of an opportunity to be generous to the beggar. I also pointed out that asking other players for money takes as much time and effort as "legitimate" ways of making virtual money (fishing, mining, crafting, farming, etc., etc.) and requires specific skills (charm, persistence). It turned out to be a lively discussion. I also think I learned more about economics playing online role playing games than I learned in college economics courses!
Right now, three of my kids are sitting on the couch with me, and we've all got our laptops, and we're all playing and talking and enjoying one another's company. It's absolutely lovely, so much so that I wouldn't rather go to the zoo or the pier.
Kelly Sturman
Lisa
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
When we first moved here we had his friends over about twice a week and we would go to their house a few times a week but not sleep over.
We would go exploring when we were able to and in the first winter we went skiing at least once a month. By the end of the winter he didn't like skiing and didn't want to go anymore. even just tubing - it would be really hard to get him to go. We would also do things like look for gold and dig crystals in the spring.
Then, we moved and ended up right next to this family we are really good friends with. Since then, one to two of their three kids have slept over, like I said, 4 to 6 nights a week.
That's been about 15 months now, and over the 15 months joe has been less and less willing to go places and do fun stuff. He would easily stay home for a month and not request to go anywhere ever. Even if his friends aren't here he doesn't want to go anywhere. He won't take a walk or ride his bike with me.
He also discovered a game called minecraft about 4 months ago and that's been what he does about 12 hours a day, every day. His friends like to play it with him. I bought him a multiplayer server and that means he can play with them even if they are not here.
I feel like I am creating this world for him that is so super fun for him that the rest of the world pales in comparison.
I am a gamer too, and have been since I was young, so I understand this, but the extremes are making me uncomfortable.
>I would say this has been building over the 2 years since we've been here in Idaho. It seems to have a direct correlation to how much his friends are over.
> How long has this been going on? You said you moved two years ago, but you didn't give us more of the timeline.
>
When we first moved here we had his friends over about twice a week and we would go to their house a few times a week but not sleep over.
We would go exploring when we were able to and in the first winter we went skiing at least once a month. By the end of the winter he didn't like skiing and didn't want to go anymore. even just tubing - it would be really hard to get him to go. We would also do things like look for gold and dig crystals in the spring.
Then, we moved and ended up right next to this family we are really good friends with. Since then, one to two of their three kids have slept over, like I said, 4 to 6 nights a week.
That's been about 15 months now, and over the 15 months joe has been less and less willing to go places and do fun stuff. He would easily stay home for a month and not request to go anywhere ever. Even if his friends aren't here he doesn't want to go anywhere. He won't take a walk or ride his bike with me.
He also discovered a game called minecraft about 4 months ago and that's been what he does about 12 hours a day, every day. His friends like to play it with him. I bought him a multiplayer server and that means he can play with them even if they are not here.
I feel like I am creating this world for him that is so super fun for him that the rest of the world pales in comparison.
I am a gamer too, and have been since I was young, so I understand this, but the extremes are making me uncomfortable.
plaidpanties666
>> I feel like I have made his life so sparkly, fun, and interesting that now there is no room in it for other things.******************
This suggests you resent the fact that he's found things to love which are different than the things you love. It's hard to discover your kids don't share your interests and passions. It's disappointing. It's something to grieve over and move on. I don't think you've gotten to the grieving part, or rather you're still in the rage and denial stages of grief. You don't want to believe that he doesn't love the most wonderful thing in the world to you.
He still loves being with you and being in your home - those are good things! He's not trying to get away from you, so don't Push him away by wanting him to want things he doesn't value.
> This hurts my feelings. a lot.I remember crying over the fact that Mo didn't want me to read to her. I had a cherished fantasy of reading to my little child, sharing warm, snuggly times in bed with a book reading together. Instead I get a child who would rather fall asleep on a pile of legos - not even a snuggler! It was a dream I wept over and then moved past.
It's okay that your feelings are hurt. You get to be sad, get to cry over this. It's better to be sad and cry than to hang on to a fantasy of someone other than your real son. Once you grieve, you'll have a better chance of knowing him and loving who he really is.
> I'm sad about it. and I feel like our life would be so much richer if he would occassionally want to go out and do things. We don't go hiking because he doesn't want to. We rarely go swimming. He doesn't want to go the trampoline place. or bowling. or anything else.******************
Gosh, that was me as a kid in so many ways. My parents pushed me to go and I still avoid doing all those things. I live in the woods and avoid hiking!
Here's a thought, though - how Long are you wanting to spend doing those things? I noticed you went on a 3 day trip to Seattle and it sent up a warning bell for me. Three days was probably way too long. An hour hike is probably way to long, or a day at the X (beach, fair, zoo) except on rare occasions. Once a year, a whole day out. Other than that, keep it short.
>>> We considered taking a friend next time if it was possible so he would maybe have more fun.****
That's not a bad idea. In the interim, pay more attention to what's fun about playing with friends. Is it the only time he gets rough and tumble play? That can be a huge issue for some kids! Is it the only time he gets to play with potty humor or gets to be really gross and have someone "on his wavelength"? Those might not be ways you're comfortable interacting, but it can help to know what he's getting from those relationships that he can't get from you.
---Meredith
Pam Sorooshian
On 8/27/2011 1:48 PM, Lisa wrote:
meaning they SUPER love certain things and DETEST other things -- they
aren't middle ground (balanced?) types. Neither am I. Is that a lot
different than you, yourself? Sometimes we see things in our kids which
are very like ourselves and that makes us nervous. Sometimes it is when
something is very different than ourselves that it gets us
uncomfortable. Maybe one of those is true for you in this situation.
People whose kids get very very focused and they are passionate about
the (often very few) things they do sometimes complain their kids don't
get enough breadth of experience. Others who have kids who are samplers,
who go along and try everything but don't show a passion for anything in
particular worry that their kids have no passion. In both cases, these
are parents who are expressing an unhappiness with the way their own
actual child really is! The child is likely to pick up on this and
that's not good.
I think if you make real efforts to satisfy his interests - staying
home and having friends over - with a positive attitude and enthusiasm,
you will reduce the pressure and make it easier for him to venture out
later on. If it has turned at all into a power struggle, then going out
now means that he's is losing. In other words, do NOT make this
adversarial. You should be the person who helps him get what HE needs
and only he is in his own head and only he really knows what he needs.
I suspect that if he feels that his desire to be home and desire to have
friends over is really truly being supported and accepted and respected,
(not begrudgingly with the occasional bout of trying to convince him to
go out) that over the next few years he will be more and more likely to
want to go out and do other things. It will help if the things you are
going out to are based on what HE is interested in, too. Keep your eye
out for video game related events in the community, for example. We went
to a concert recently that was all music from video games. We also went
to a World of Warcraft art exhibit a few years ago, which was super
super cool.
It might also help if you take your own focus off the things you "used
to" do together - that's life with children, they change, time marches
on, you will only be annoying to them if you try to hang on to the way
things were instead of being fully present now with the way things are.
Instead of letting your uncomfortable feelings lead you to try to
persuade him to go out, let that discomfort remind you to interact with
him "as he is" - that means at home and with his friends. It means you
learn about the things he is actually really interested in right now
instead of wishing he'd be interested in what you value (skiing, etc).
I got distracted because I started googling Minecraft and learning more
about it and now I'm listening to Minecraft music which I'm really
enjoying. <G> That's what you should be doing. What would he think if
you had some Minecraft music as your ringtone? Do you even know who does
the music?
Anyway - I think the bottom line is that you have your feelings hurt
and that's clouding your judgment. He isn't wanting to do the things you
want to do with him and he wants his friends over rather than wanting to
hang out with you. Ouch. I bet that does hurt. YOU have control over how
you behave in these circumstances - let your logical thinking override
your emotional feeling response. Be a mom who totally and thoroughly
accepts her child exactly the way he is and don't give him the message
(verbally, physically, or any other way no matter how subtle) that he
isn't the child you wish you had. That will hurt him WAY more than your
rejected feelings are hurting you right now.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I am a gamer too, and have been since I was young, so I understandMy kids were extremists, too. They still are even in their 20's --
> this, but the extremes are making me uncomfortable.
meaning they SUPER love certain things and DETEST other things -- they
aren't middle ground (balanced?) types. Neither am I. Is that a lot
different than you, yourself? Sometimes we see things in our kids which
are very like ourselves and that makes us nervous. Sometimes it is when
something is very different than ourselves that it gets us
uncomfortable. Maybe one of those is true for you in this situation.
People whose kids get very very focused and they are passionate about
the (often very few) things they do sometimes complain their kids don't
get enough breadth of experience. Others who have kids who are samplers,
who go along and try everything but don't show a passion for anything in
particular worry that their kids have no passion. In both cases, these
are parents who are expressing an unhappiness with the way their own
actual child really is! The child is likely to pick up on this and
that's not good.
I think if you make real efforts to satisfy his interests - staying
home and having friends over - with a positive attitude and enthusiasm,
you will reduce the pressure and make it easier for him to venture out
later on. If it has turned at all into a power struggle, then going out
now means that he's is losing. In other words, do NOT make this
adversarial. You should be the person who helps him get what HE needs
and only he is in his own head and only he really knows what he needs.
I suspect that if he feels that his desire to be home and desire to have
friends over is really truly being supported and accepted and respected,
(not begrudgingly with the occasional bout of trying to convince him to
go out) that over the next few years he will be more and more likely to
want to go out and do other things. It will help if the things you are
going out to are based on what HE is interested in, too. Keep your eye
out for video game related events in the community, for example. We went
to a concert recently that was all music from video games. We also went
to a World of Warcraft art exhibit a few years ago, which was super
super cool.
It might also help if you take your own focus off the things you "used
to" do together - that's life with children, they change, time marches
on, you will only be annoying to them if you try to hang on to the way
things were instead of being fully present now with the way things are.
Instead of letting your uncomfortable feelings lead you to try to
persuade him to go out, let that discomfort remind you to interact with
him "as he is" - that means at home and with his friends. It means you
learn about the things he is actually really interested in right now
instead of wishing he'd be interested in what you value (skiing, etc).
I got distracted because I started googling Minecraft and learning more
about it and now I'm listening to Minecraft music which I'm really
enjoying. <G> That's what you should be doing. What would he think if
you had some Minecraft music as your ringtone? Do you even know who does
the music?
Anyway - I think the bottom line is that you have your feelings hurt
and that's clouding your judgment. He isn't wanting to do the things you
want to do with him and he wants his friends over rather than wanting to
hang out with you. Ouch. I bet that does hurt. YOU have control over how
you behave in these circumstances - let your logical thinking override
your emotional feeling response. Be a mom who totally and thoroughly
accepts her child exactly the way he is and don't give him the message
(verbally, physically, or any other way no matter how subtle) that he
isn't the child you wish you had. That will hurt him WAY more than your
rejected feelings are hurting you right now.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I feel like I am creating this world for him that is so super fun for him that the rest of the world pales in comparison.
-=-I am a gamer too, and have been since I was young, so I understand this, but the extremes are making me uncomfortable.-=-
Either it will pass naturally or it won't, but forcing him out won't help either of you. Creating a world that's so boring or non-fun that the rest of the world beckons in comparison doesn't seem like the answer, either.
Schools do that by painting over the windows or covering the windows with paper, confiscating games or toys, and (in some cases) making the kids wear uniforms so that even jeans and t-shirts aren't more interesting than whatever the teacher is saying or doing.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-I am a gamer too, and have been since I was young, so I understand this, but the extremes are making me uncomfortable.-=-
Either it will pass naturally or it won't, but forcing him out won't help either of you. Creating a world that's so boring or non-fun that the rest of the world beckons in comparison doesn't seem like the answer, either.
Schools do that by painting over the windows or covering the windows with paper, confiscating games or toys, and (in some cases) making the kids wear uniforms so that even jeans and t-shirts aren't more interesting than whatever the teacher is saying or doing.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<<<"I got distracted because I started googling Minecraft and learning more
about it and now I'm listening to Minecraft music which I'm really
enjoying. <G> That's what you should be doing. What would he think if
you had some Minecraft music as your ringtone? Do you even know who does
the music?">>>>
Minecraft music!
There is a Minecraft version of the Taio Cruz song Dynamite with a great video that I cannot get out of my mind today!!!!!!
Here is the link:
I kept singing this all day in my head and sometimes out loud in the car that even my son told me to stop:
" I shoot my arrows in the air sometimes saying ay-ooh Creepers KO'd"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2rDbRUDkds
But that happens when you embrace what your kids love!
Alex Polikowksy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
about it and now I'm listening to Minecraft music which I'm really
enjoying. <G> That's what you should be doing. What would he think if
you had some Minecraft music as your ringtone? Do you even know who does
the music?">>>>
Minecraft music!
There is a Minecraft version of the Taio Cruz song Dynamite with a great video that I cannot get out of my mind today!!!!!!
Here is the link:
I kept singing this all day in my head and sometimes out loud in the car that even my son told me to stop:
" I shoot my arrows in the air sometimes saying ay-ooh Creepers KO'd"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2rDbRUDkds
But that happens when you embrace what your kids love!
Alex Polikowksy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Katrine Clip
Here's the Minecraft song we're listening to and singing all day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPJUBQd-PNM
-Katrine
On Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 4:27 PM, BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <
polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPJUBQd-PNM
-Katrine
On Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 4:27 PM, BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <
polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
> **[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Minecraft music!
> There is a Minecraft version of the Taio Cruz song Dynamite with a great
> video that I cannot get out of my mind today!!!!!!
> Here is the link:
>
> I kept singing this all day in my head and sometimes out loud in the car
> that even my son told me to stop:
> " I shoot my arrows in the air sometimes saying ay-ooh Creepers KO'd"
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2rDbRUDkds
>
> But that happens when you embrace what your kids love!
>
> Alex Polikowksy
>
Patricia Platt
>>>My son rarely wants to go anywhere or do anything. He wants to stay home and play video games or watch youtube by default. And, he wants his friends over all the time. (we have someone spending the night 4 to 6 nights a week)<<<I could have told a similar story about my son and my family this past spring and early summer, when we first started deschooling.
Journaling helped, and led me to ask myself why I didn't like hanging out at our house more? Well, that question led to my spending my new free time fixing up the house and garden. (LOL.) For the first time since before my son was born, I planted flowers in the gardens and put up window boxes. I scraped and painted walls and bought fresh bed linens. I dug out and planted a vegetable garden and learned to cook with the veggies that grew. I created a blog. I cleaned out cabinets and closets.
Now it looks and feels great around here. Smells better, too. :) The birds, butterflies, and frogs who come to the garden are soooo beautiful. I seldom ever want to leave the house, either! My son and husband really like how everything looks and functions better, too.
Meanwhile, thanks to what I learned from the blogs, presentations, and books of experienced unschoolers, I set out monkey platters of fresh food for my son and his friends while they gamed. I talked to my son about his gaming whenever I could. I found videos about Notch and Mojang (see http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2pp/minecraft-the-story-of-mojang). I bought him a Minecraft creeper t-shirt (http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/kids/e76a/?cpg=froogle), which he wore every day for 2 weeks straight. I watched tutorials on YouTube with him. My husband and I helped my son download mods and get his own Minecraft server. When he got into the "Planes" mod and started to fly the Fokker Dr. 1 airplane, we rented the movie "The Red Baron," and I read to him about Manfred von Richthofen and WWI. He created a WWI airbase for his planes in Minecraft.
I also started noticing how much my son was learning by playing Minecraft. One day I noticed that he can now type as fast as I can (learned from chatting online). He had just recently turned 9. He has also learned how to spell and punctuate, to write polite and assertive emails (e.g., to request help from the server hosts, friends, or minecraftforum.net), to download and store files on a computer, to install mods on Macs and PCs, to create Minecraft "skins" using a pixel art editor, and to create really cool virtual structures and games within the game. Yesterday, he showed me that he'd created an agenda for himself in Minecraft. :) He's even learned important life lessons, such as how to stand up for what's right, even when it means admitting that someone he thought was a friend was not really a friend (all related to dealing with a compulsive griefer). He has learned all this and much more through Minecraft play, while deepening friendships and having a lot of fun.
Still, I missed feeling close with my son. So finally, last month, I finally got my own Minecraft account and started building with him, side-by-side. It has been so great! We're closer than we've ever been. I'm having a lot of fun. One of his friends' parents told me she'd heard I was a really good builder. I swelled with pride. :) But the best part is that now my son really sees me as a true friend who has embraced his passions. (And now sometimes when my husband or I have to run an errand, he asks to go with us.)
Sooo, my advice is to embrace Minecraft and be grateful that your child has an interest in this truly amazing and limitless game! My son has learned so much from playing it. So have I! I have to admit that my husband and I still miss traveling as a family, though. So, this year we've decided to take our family vacation by traveling to Minecon, a huge Minecraft convention. It will be held in Las Vegas on November 18-19, 2011. We can't wait! Check out mincraftforum.net if you're interested!
--- In [email protected], "Lisa" <lisa@...> wrote:
>
> Hi, my son is 8. For the most part we have a really super relationship and a great life. Last night I freaked out about something that has been building for a while.
>
> My husband thinks the only reason I am so upset is because my period is coming and that could be part of it, but this bothers me even when it's not coming.
>
> My son rarely wants to go anywhere or do anything. He wants to stay home and play video games or watch youtube by default. And, he wants his friends over all the time. (we have someone spending the night 4 to 6 nights a week)
>
> I feel like I have made his life so sparkly, fun, and interesting that now there is no room in it for other things.
>
> We lived in Hawaii 2 years ago and we moved to the mainland in part so we could travel. My son used to love to go and do new things and travel with us, but now that he is into video games he rarely wants to be far from the computer.
>
> We just came back from a three day trip to Seattle and he said he 'didn't really want to go', but my husband and I did really want to go and we knew he used to love to travel so we talked him into it. We had the computer, he watched it on the whole drive and while we were in the room.
>
> He was OK, he enjoyed certain things, but he was also a little mopey at the zoo and at the pier.
>
> We considered taking a friend next time if it was possible so he would maybe have more fun.
>
> Tonight is family night at his friend's house, so his friends can't spend the night so I asked if he wanted to go to the fair with me. He said no. (we haven't been since last year). Then he said that he would go if his friends could go with.
>
> This hurts my feelings. a lot. I don't want to take his friends. And I actually wouldn't anyway because I can't afford to take his friends and his friends parents can't afford to pay for it. I want to go somewhere with my son and have fun like we used to.
>
> He's only 8! And he always wants to be home (not at his friend's house) and he always wants to be with me but he rarely wants to do anything anymore. Just stay home.
>
> I'm sad about it. and I feel like our life would be so much richer if he would occassionally want to go out and do things. We don't go hiking because he doesn't want to. We rarely go swimming. He doesn't want to go the trampoline place. or bowling. or anything else.
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Journaling helped, and led me to ask myself why I didn't like hanging out at our house more? Well, that question led to my spending my new free time fixing up the house and garden. (LOL.) For the first time since before my son was born, I planted flowers in the gardens and put up window boxes. I scraped and painted walls and bought fresh bed linens. I dug out and planted a vegetable garden and learned to cook with the veggies that grew. I created a blog. I cleaned out cabinets and closets.
-=-Now it looks and feels great around here. Smells better, too. :) The birds, butterflies, and frogs who come to the garden are soooo beautiful. I seldom ever want to leave the house, either! My son and husband really like how everything looks and functions better, too.-=-
There's something sweet about having kids who like to be home. When I was a kid I liked to be out doing something, anything, rather than at home. I still get the urge to go, and like to eat out, but because others in my family like home I started to settle in better too. I love having several unscheduled days in a row when I can start something, like organizing a closet or working in the yard. The older the kids get, the easier those things get, too.
The rest of the blog, about getting involved in Minecraft is really exciting and I'm going to save it on my site unless you talk me out of it.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-Now it looks and feels great around here. Smells better, too. :) The birds, butterflies, and frogs who come to the garden are soooo beautiful. I seldom ever want to leave the house, either! My son and husband really like how everything looks and functions better, too.-=-
There's something sweet about having kids who like to be home. When I was a kid I liked to be out doing something, anything, rather than at home. I still get the urge to go, and like to eat out, but because others in my family like home I started to settle in better too. I love having several unscheduled days in a row when I can start something, like organizing a closet or working in the yard. The older the kids get, the easier those things get, too.
The rest of the blog, about getting involved in Minecraft is really exciting and I'm going to save it on my site unless you talk me out of it.
Sandra
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Pam Sorooshian
On 8/29/2011 10:46 AM, Patricia Platt wrote:
tears to my eyes!! In an unschooling family it seems only natural to
base family vacations around the interests and passions of the kids (and
adults, too).
--pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> So, this year we've decided to take our family vacation by travelingPatricia's entire post was so fantastic...this part at the end brought
> to Minecon, a huge Minecraft convention. It will be held in Las Vegas
> on November 18-19, 2011. We can't wait! Check out mincraftforum.net if
> you're interested!
tears to my eyes!! In an unschooling family it seems only natural to
base family vacations around the interests and passions of the kids (and
adults, too).
--pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
I was looking for something to use as a border for the minecraft page (brand new minecraft page), and found this:
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Mine+craft+art+3+crafting+chest_47048f_1544622.jpg
It's a box.
I've seen similar boxes for Mario games.
You print it out and glue or tape it together and then.... Just have it? Put a little gift in it? :-)
http://www.instructables.com/id/Super-Mario-Bros-Question-Block/
http://media.photobucket.com/image/mario%20brick/Papercraftbucket/Mario/BrickBlock.jpg
I put Patricia's minecraft story here, with links (including a new one to the convention, and corrected a typo; I think they all work):
http://sandradodd.com/videogames/minecraft
This summer when I was in France the kids had minecraft in common even when they couldn't speak the same language. Sophie McNeill, the youngest of the family we were staying with, had a creeper shirt and it seemed to be really appreciated in that group. :-)
If there are other minecraft stories to add to that page, let's have 'em!
And to the original poster, "son doesn't want to go anywhere, I do"--maybe get a babysitter and go do some things? Maybe get an overnight games-playing babysitter and go for a couple of days.
Sandra
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Mine+craft+art+3+crafting+chest_47048f_1544622.jpg
It's a box.
I've seen similar boxes for Mario games.
You print it out and glue or tape it together and then.... Just have it? Put a little gift in it? :-)
http://www.instructables.com/id/Super-Mario-Bros-Question-Block/
http://media.photobucket.com/image/mario%20brick/Papercraftbucket/Mario/BrickBlock.jpg
I put Patricia's minecraft story here, with links (including a new one to the convention, and corrected a typo; I think they all work):
http://sandradodd.com/videogames/minecraft
This summer when I was in France the kids had minecraft in common even when they couldn't speak the same language. Sophie McNeill, the youngest of the family we were staying with, had a creeper shirt and it seemed to be really appreciated in that group. :-)
If there are other minecraft stories to add to that page, let's have 'em!
And to the original poster, "son doesn't want to go anywhere, I do"--maybe get a babysitter and go do some things? Maybe get an overnight games-playing babysitter and go for a couple of days.
Sandra
Sandra Dodd
Also, something that would look okay as a repeated background would be nice to have, or maybe minecraft-related photos people here are willing for me to share there.
Sandra
Sandra
jparm02
><<< Still, I missed feeling close with my son. So finally, last month, I finally got my own Minecraft account and started building with him, side-by-side. It has been so great! We're closer than we've ever been. I'm having a lot of fun. >>>About 3 1/2 - 4 years ago, I started playing World of Warcraft because my kids were getting into it. And I wanted to help them, and know what was going on so I could talk knowledgeably with them. I, too had so much fun. I made a healer so I could help all these kids in the groups activities of the game. My son still plays with the kids (on games and via skype) he started with then, and we've traveled across country to meet them.
Recently, I wanted to make so many changes to that healing character, which basically would have deleted her. And I had 4 boys protesting vehemently. I argued with them all the reasons why this would be good. But, they said, we have so many good memories with Talukah, you just can't delete her. I was surprised at how that would have affected them, and how sweet they were talking about all the fun times we've had together.
Jill
Katrine Clip
On Mon, Aug 29, 2011 at 10:46 AM, Patricia Platt <pnplatt@...> wrote:
it. And we're also going to Minecon! I'm happy to know that there will be
other kids there too! My boys are 10 and 12.
-Katrine
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> **We love all things Minecraft, and my children are learning a lot by playing
>
> <<<Sooo, my advice is to embrace Minecraft and be grateful that your child
> has an interest in this truly amazing and limitless game! My son has learned
> so much from playing it. So have I! I have to admit that my husband and I
> still miss traveling as a family, though. So, this year we've decided to
> take our family vacation by traveling to Minecon, a huge Minecraft
> convention. It will be held in Las Vegas on November 18-19, 2011. We can't
> wait! Check out mincraftforum.net if you're interested!>>>>
>
it. And we're also going to Minecon! I'm happy to know that there will be
other kids there too! My boys are 10 and 12.
-Katrine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lisa
Thanks Patricia, I appreciate your response. My son doesn't want to go to Minecon. My husband and I would like to go. We'd also like to go to E3 - he doesn't want to go to that either. But maybe someday. He is afterall, only 8, and conferences are still pretty adult.
I guess if I think about it really, even when we do stuff like that - like visit family or go to an aquarium, most of the adults talk down to him or over him or don't listen to him - so different from how his dad and I talk to him - that he doesn't like to do things that may get him treated like that.
My take on this at this point, after reading everyone's responses and thinking hard - thank you everyone, I really appreciate it - is that I haven't been spending enough time with my son. I haven't been doing his thing.
Neither my husband or myself have.
We've been doing our own thing alongside him or trying to get him to do our thing.
I have done some grieving for what I feel like I have lost, but maybe I haven't lost it. Who knows what could happen in the future.
thanks again, Lisa
I guess if I think about it really, even when we do stuff like that - like visit family or go to an aquarium, most of the adults talk down to him or over him or don't listen to him - so different from how his dad and I talk to him - that he doesn't like to do things that may get him treated like that.
My take on this at this point, after reading everyone's responses and thinking hard - thank you everyone, I really appreciate it - is that I haven't been spending enough time with my son. I haven't been doing his thing.
Neither my husband or myself have.
We've been doing our own thing alongside him or trying to get him to do our thing.
I have done some grieving for what I feel like I have lost, but maybe I haven't lost it. Who knows what could happen in the future.
thanks again, Lisa