Feeling Mentally Exhausted By Too Many Questions
hmbpie
I just moved back to Texas after being in California for about a year. I learned about unschooling and started implementing it in our lives there. Since that happened shortly after moving there the friends we made were all unschoolers with laid back and positive attitudes who helped me grow as a mother and partner to my husband.
Now that we are back in Texas where we were homeschooling and traditional parenting I feel weighted down with all the negativity. All this talk about video game addiction, and messy rooms that HAVE to be cleaned, and classes, schedules, and "what are you going to do this semester". With homeschoolers I feel confident and can say "We unschool now.", but I think since they all knew me as a homeschooler that answer isn't good enough for them because the questions keep coming.
We live on a culdesac and have two new neighbors now. So far when they have asked I say, "We homeschool.", but that brings on a barage of questions about cirriculum and time spent and how do I do it.
I'm feeling exhausted by it all. I just want to scream.
Maybe it's because school just started and it's what everyone is talking about right now. Or maybe I need to find some new friends because I am feeling so different from the people around me right now.
Now that we are back in Texas where we were homeschooling and traditional parenting I feel weighted down with all the negativity. All this talk about video game addiction, and messy rooms that HAVE to be cleaned, and classes, schedules, and "what are you going to do this semester". With homeschoolers I feel confident and can say "We unschool now.", but I think since they all knew me as a homeschooler that answer isn't good enough for them because the questions keep coming.
We live on a culdesac and have two new neighbors now. So far when they have asked I say, "We homeschool.", but that brings on a barage of questions about cirriculum and time spent and how do I do it.
I'm feeling exhausted by it all. I just want to scream.
Maybe it's because school just started and it's what everyone is talking about right now. Or maybe I need to find some new friends because I am feeling so different from the people around me right now.
hmbpie
I probably should have sat on this before sending it. Instead of looking for something I'm not getting here (understanding) I called my friend in California and it was just like I was sitting at her kitchen table again talking about life and kids and it was refreshing as usual.
Austin and I had lunch where he made me laugh until I almost cried and showed me the best way to get queso and refried beans on a chip. We talked and talked and laughed. Then we walked to Gamestop, then walked to the Bookstore. And talked and laughed some more.
While we were at lunch I felt all that ick leave me and I realized I was letting other people's problems with unschooling muck up my day. Austin is happy and content to hang out with me and I am happy and content to hang out with him. I also realized, I may not have people right here in my town that get me yet, but the people who do are just a phone call away.
Austin and I had lunch where he made me laugh until I almost cried and showed me the best way to get queso and refried beans on a chip. We talked and talked and laughed. Then we walked to Gamestop, then walked to the Bookstore. And talked and laughed some more.
While we were at lunch I felt all that ick leave me and I realized I was letting other people's problems with unschooling muck up my day. Austin is happy and content to hang out with me and I am happy and content to hang out with him. I also realized, I may not have people right here in my town that get me yet, but the people who do are just a phone call away.
--- In [email protected], "hmbpie" <heatherpie@...> wrote:
>
> I just moved back to Texas after being in California for about a year. I learned about unschooling and started implementing it in our lives there. Since that happened shortly after moving there the friends we made were all unschoolers with laid back and positive attitudes who helped me grow as a mother and partner to my husband.
>
> Now that we are back in Texas where we were homeschooling and traditional parenting I feel weighted down with all the negativity. All this talk about video game addiction, and messy rooms that HAVE to be cleaned, and classes, schedules, and "what are you going to do this semester". With homeschoolers I feel confident and can say "We unschool now.", but I think since they all knew me as a homeschooler that answer isn't good enough for them because the questions keep coming.
>
> We live on a culdesac and have two new neighbors now. So far when they have asked I say, "We homeschool.", but that brings on a barage of questions about cirriculum and time spent and how do I do it.
>
> I'm feeling exhausted by it all. I just want to scream.
>
> Maybe it's because school just started and it's what everyone is talking about right now. Or maybe I need to find some new friends because I am feeling so different from the people around me right now.
>
Sandra Dodd
Heather, I could send you a bunch of my business cards if you want to use them as "get out of too-many-question-jail free" cards. You could give them to people and say if they're curious about unschooling there are dozens of unschooling voices there they could read, but that you need to go spend some time with your son!
Or you could print out little papers with links to Joyce's site and familyRUNning and all that, and tell them you're glad they're curious, and you hope they'll become unschoolers. Spook 'em like you're a missionary, and they won't want to talk about it any more, maybe. :-)
Sandra
Or you could print out little papers with links to Joyce's site and familyRUNning and all that, and tell them you're glad they're curious, and you hope they'll become unschoolers. Spook 'em like you're a missionary, and they won't want to talk about it any more, maybe. :-)
Sandra
hmbpie
=Heather, I could send you a bunch of my business cards if you want to use them as "get out of too-many-question-jail free" cards. You could give them to people and say if they're curious about unschooling there are dozens of unschooling voices there they could read, but that you need to go spend some time with your son!
Or you could print out little papers with links to Joyce's site and familyRUNning and all that, and tell them you're glad they're curious, and you hope they'll become unschoolers. Spook 'em like you're a missionary, and they won't want to talk about it any more, maybe. :-)=
Thanks Sandra! I really like those suggestions, especially the second one because I can play with it and make the situation funny to me instead of getting all wretched up and angry inside.
Last night a friend of mine (her kids go to PS) read Kelly Lovejoy's stages and called me to talk about it. She thought that Kelly was saying that once you are in stage three you think that public schools for everyone were equal to the learning that happens in an unschooling home. I told her that was not at all what that article was saying. Then this morning this was in my inbox:
"She never actually said school or public school just "all learning" being equal. It stood out for me just because I thought that unschoolers kind of vilified school/public school and she didn't seem like it was really something on her radar."
Or you could print out little papers with links to Joyce's site and familyRUNning and all that, and tell them you're glad they're curious, and you hope they'll become unschoolers. Spook 'em like you're a missionary, and they won't want to talk about it any more, maybe. :-)=
Thanks Sandra! I really like those suggestions, especially the second one because I can play with it and make the situation funny to me instead of getting all wretched up and angry inside.
Last night a friend of mine (her kids go to PS) read Kelly Lovejoy's stages and called me to talk about it. She thought that Kelly was saying that once you are in stage three you think that public schools for everyone were equal to the learning that happens in an unschooling home. I told her that was not at all what that article was saying. Then this morning this was in my inbox:
"She never actually said school or public school just "all learning" being equal. It stood out for me just because I thought that unschoolers kind of vilified school/public school and she didn't seem like it was really something on her radar."
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> Heather, I could send you a bunch of my business cards if you want to use them as "get out of too-many-question-jail free" cards. You could give them to people and say if they're curious about unschooling there are dozens of unschooling voices there they could read, but that you need to go spend some time with your son!
>
> Or you could print out little papers with links to Joyce's site and familyRUNning and all that, and tell them you're glad they're curious, and you hope they'll become unschoolers. Spook 'em like you're a missionary, and they won't want to talk about it any more, maybe. :-)
>
>
> Sandra
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Last night a friend of mine (her kids go to PS) read Kelly Lovejoy's stages and called me to talk about it. She thought that Kelly was saying that once you are in stage three you think that public schools for everyone were equal to the learning that happens in an unschooling home. I told her that was not at all what that article was saying. Then this morning this was in my inbox:
-=-"She never actually said school or public school just "all learning" being equal. It stood out for me just because I thought that unschoolers kind of vilified school/public school and she didn't seem like it was really something on her radar." -=-
Your friend isn't in ANY of those stages, then. She's in such a schoolish stage that she can't even understand an article about the stages of unschooling.
Kelly is saying that IF and when someone IS unschooling, solidly, for sure, then their perceptions about some things are very different.
But your friend wants to have those perceptions just from reading an article, which is pretty much what the article says can't happen.
School's "learning" leads people (even unschoolers) to believe that reading something and being able to recite some of it back, and to answer ten or twenty questions about it, is the same as understanding it completely. It's like a young teen thinking that if he can "karaoke" a song note perfectly, that he's as good a singer as Prince or Meat Loaf or whoever it is. Copying, reciting, isn't creativity or understanding. It's not composition. It's not seeing from a different perspective.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-=-"She never actually said school or public school just "all learning" being equal. It stood out for me just because I thought that unschoolers kind of vilified school/public school and she didn't seem like it was really something on her radar." -=-
Your friend isn't in ANY of those stages, then. She's in such a schoolish stage that she can't even understand an article about the stages of unschooling.
Kelly is saying that IF and when someone IS unschooling, solidly, for sure, then their perceptions about some things are very different.
But your friend wants to have those perceptions just from reading an article, which is pretty much what the article says can't happen.
School's "learning" leads people (even unschoolers) to believe that reading something and being able to recite some of it back, and to answer ten or twenty questions about it, is the same as understanding it completely. It's like a young teen thinking that if he can "karaoke" a song note perfectly, that he's as good a singer as Prince or Meat Loaf or whoever it is. Copying, reciting, isn't creativity or understanding. It's not composition. It's not seeing from a different perspective.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
I wouldn't give someone who wasn't actually trying to unschool Kelly's 3 Stages - maybe you didn't and she just found them, poking around on Sandra's site ;)
I'd recommend something more like Pam's principles of learning:
http://sandradodd.com/pam/principles
as a place for someone to start, since those ideas can even be made to make sense in a school context - although hardly anyone tries to apply them these days outside of early childhood and special ed.
Another good site for people who don't really want to know That much about unschooling is Why Unschool:
http://whyunschool.info/?page=home
That sounds like damning with faint praise - it has some good, basic information and some nice stories about unschooling and unschoolers which will make sense to non-unschoolers without getting too deep into the philosophy. It stays away from "Free the Children!" sorts of slogans which sometimes lead people to the impression that our kids are a bunch of wild, unlettered hooligans ;)
I try to offer people information about unschooling which isn't too far out from sounding educational, honestly, because... well... as Pam puts it:
"Learning stops when a person is confused. All learning must build on what is already known."
---Meredith
I'd recommend something more like Pam's principles of learning:
http://sandradodd.com/pam/principles
as a place for someone to start, since those ideas can even be made to make sense in a school context - although hardly anyone tries to apply them these days outside of early childhood and special ed.
Another good site for people who don't really want to know That much about unschooling is Why Unschool:
http://whyunschool.info/?page=home
That sounds like damning with faint praise - it has some good, basic information and some nice stories about unschooling and unschoolers which will make sense to non-unschoolers without getting too deep into the philosophy. It stays away from "Free the Children!" sorts of slogans which sometimes lead people to the impression that our kids are a bunch of wild, unlettered hooligans ;)
I try to offer people information about unschooling which isn't too far out from sounding educational, honestly, because... well... as Pam puts it:
"Learning stops when a person is confused. All learning must build on what is already known."
---Meredith
hmbpie
=Kelly is saying that IF and when someone IS unschooling, solidly, for sure, then their perceptions about some things are very different.
But your friend wants to have those perceptions just from reading an article, which is pretty much what the article says can't happen.=
Which is what led me to post: I'm feeling exhausted by it all. I just want to scream." because I am running into people who want me to change back, or feel like I have given up, or in this situation someone who poked around on Sandra's site, read the first thing that came up and then told me what I'm not getting about unschooling. I understood the article and was able to reflect about where we are at. Maybe she read it and thought that when I get to stage three and she tells me that her kid had his snack withheld for punishment at school I'll just nod my head and smile.
I do feel that I'm wasting energy. Monty (my husband) just suggested I may have outgrown some people while I was in California. It may be true.
But your friend wants to have those perceptions just from reading an article, which is pretty much what the article says can't happen.=
Which is what led me to post: I'm feeling exhausted by it all. I just want to scream." because I am running into people who want me to change back, or feel like I have given up, or in this situation someone who poked around on Sandra's site, read the first thing that came up and then told me what I'm not getting about unschooling. I understood the article and was able to reflect about where we are at. Maybe she read it and thought that when I get to stage three and she tells me that her kid had his snack withheld for punishment at school I'll just nod my head and smile.
I do feel that I'm wasting energy. Monty (my husband) just suggested I may have outgrown some people while I was in California. It may be true.
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-Last night a friend of mine (her kids go to PS) read Kelly Lovejoy's stages and called me to talk about it. She thought that Kelly was saying that once you are in stage three you think that public schools for everyone were equal to the learning that happens in an unschooling home. I told her that was not at all what that article was saying. Then this morning this was in my inbox:
>
> -=-"She never actually said school or public school just "all learning" being equal. It stood out for me just because I thought that unschoolers kind of vilified school/public school and she didn't seem like it was really something on her radar." -=-
>
> Your friend isn't in ANY of those stages, then. She's in such a schoolish stage that she can't even understand an article about the stages of unschooling.
>
> Kelly is saying that IF and when someone IS unschooling, solidly, for sure, then their perceptions about some things are very different.
> But your friend wants to have those perceptions just from reading an article, which is pretty much what the article says can't happen.
>
> School's "learning" leads people (even unschoolers) to believe that reading something and being able to recite some of it back, and to answer ten or twenty questions about it, is the same as understanding it completely. It's like a young teen thinking that if he can "karaoke" a song note perfectly, that he's as good a singer as Prince or Meat Loaf or whoever it is. Copying, reciting, isn't creativity or understanding. It's not composition. It's not seeing from a different perspective.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Maybe she read it and thought that when I get to stage three and she tells me that her kid had his snack withheld for punishment at school I'll just nod my head and smile.-=-
I guess she can hope.
But what if, right now, if she tells you that her kid has his snack withheld you just nod? You don't have to smile. But you also don't have to tell her school sucks. She'll figure it out or she won't. And by "just nod," I mean maybe you could grunt or look askance. But not to go into alternatives and explanations.
Or maybe you could say "Those stories make me feel really bad for him," and change the subject.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I guess she can hope.
But what if, right now, if she tells you that her kid has his snack withheld you just nod? You don't have to smile. But you also don't have to tell her school sucks. She'll figure it out or she won't. And by "just nod," I mean maybe you could grunt or look askance. But not to go into alternatives and explanations.
Or maybe you could say "Those stories make me feel really bad for him," and change the subject.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kristi_beguin
We have been unschooling for 4 years, but my youngest wanted to try school this year. (My oldest also wanted to do school, but that is another thread.)
My youngest wanted to try kindergarten. I have always told my children that school is a choice.
The logistics of getting enrolled, purchasing school supplies, getting mentally prepared to get up early, get there on time, etc., has taken a lot of energy on all our parts.
School started, and my daughter was super excited on day 1 and day 2. On day 3, my DD figured out that maybe this wasn't what she wanted to do, she went into the classroom on her own, but I could tell she wasn't happy. By day 5, I was calling the school saying she would not be in class.
She missed all of last week (days 6 through 10), and I will be pulling her out of school on Monday.
So many friends, acquaintances, and people I don't know at all have asked the same question:
"What doesn't she like about kindergarten?"
Yesterday, I wrote down a few short answers (based on my perspective), there are more, but I read them to my daughter to verify, and she nodded her head to every single one.
1) Getting up early. (She is accustomed to falling asleep when tired, and waking when ready to get up.)
2) Trying to figure out what to wear in the very short period of time between being awake (fully) and needing to be at school.
3) Being hurried.
4) Leaving home.
5) Saying good-bye to Mommy and Daddy.
6) Saying good-bye to her sister.
7) Not being able to play with her sister.
8) Not being able to eat when she is hungry, and having to eat on the school schedule.
9) Being at school from 8:10 to 3:20.
10) Firedrills.
11) The lunch room noise and craziness.
12) Not being with her dog all day.
13) Having to ask to go to the bathroom.
14) Being shuffled from here to there without any say in the matter.
15) Having to do it all again the next day.
Not one of these answers will suit someone who wants their kid in school. Not one of these answers is acceptable to the school staff who is supposed to "help" me keep her in school. Not one of these answers is acceptable to any one of my friends, non-friends, or acquaintances who feel like school is their first and only choice.
However, for us, each and every one of these answers is more than enough reason to not continue with school.
Relief is definitely what I feel when I know that we will be done with Kindergarten on Monday.
My youngest wanted to try kindergarten. I have always told my children that school is a choice.
The logistics of getting enrolled, purchasing school supplies, getting mentally prepared to get up early, get there on time, etc., has taken a lot of energy on all our parts.
School started, and my daughter was super excited on day 1 and day 2. On day 3, my DD figured out that maybe this wasn't what she wanted to do, she went into the classroom on her own, but I could tell she wasn't happy. By day 5, I was calling the school saying she would not be in class.
She missed all of last week (days 6 through 10), and I will be pulling her out of school on Monday.
So many friends, acquaintances, and people I don't know at all have asked the same question:
"What doesn't she like about kindergarten?"
Yesterday, I wrote down a few short answers (based on my perspective), there are more, but I read them to my daughter to verify, and she nodded her head to every single one.
1) Getting up early. (She is accustomed to falling asleep when tired, and waking when ready to get up.)
2) Trying to figure out what to wear in the very short period of time between being awake (fully) and needing to be at school.
3) Being hurried.
4) Leaving home.
5) Saying good-bye to Mommy and Daddy.
6) Saying good-bye to her sister.
7) Not being able to play with her sister.
8) Not being able to eat when she is hungry, and having to eat on the school schedule.
9) Being at school from 8:10 to 3:20.
10) Firedrills.
11) The lunch room noise and craziness.
12) Not being with her dog all day.
13) Having to ask to go to the bathroom.
14) Being shuffled from here to there without any say in the matter.
15) Having to do it all again the next day.
Not one of these answers will suit someone who wants their kid in school. Not one of these answers is acceptable to the school staff who is supposed to "help" me keep her in school. Not one of these answers is acceptable to any one of my friends, non-friends, or acquaintances who feel like school is their first and only choice.
However, for us, each and every one of these answers is more than enough reason to not continue with school.
Relief is definitely what I feel when I know that we will be done with Kindergarten on Monday.
kristi_beguin
My Apologies, I meant to begin this with "I, too, am mentally exhausted by too many questions, only they are related to school." I accidentally deleted it while re-reading my post.
Sandra Dodd
-=-Relief is definitely what I feel when I know that we will be done with Kindergarten on Monday.-=-
It sounds like you're done today.
You don't need to "pull her out." You can just send them an e-mail saying you registered to homeschool.
When a family moves from one district to another (which many families do, every single day, all over the world, but I know this is a New Mexico story, so I can say for sure for New Mexico and the U.S.), there is absolutely NO necessity to "disenroll." What usually happens is the new school (which might be in Alaska or Vermont or Florida) will, after a few weeks, request something from the old school, or notify the old school that they have so'n'so enrolled. If you had put her in a private school, you could just say "She's going to What's-It-Academy." And that could be by phone, or letter, or e-mail or rumor.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It sounds like you're done today.
You don't need to "pull her out." You can just send them an e-mail saying you registered to homeschool.
When a family moves from one district to another (which many families do, every single day, all over the world, but I know this is a New Mexico story, so I can say for sure for New Mexico and the U.S.), there is absolutely NO necessity to "disenroll." What usually happens is the new school (which might be in Alaska or Vermont or Florida) will, after a few weeks, request something from the old school, or notify the old school that they have so'n'so enrolled. If you had put her in a private school, you could just say "She's going to What's-It-Academy." And that could be by phone, or letter, or e-mail or rumor.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kristi_beguin
-=-Relief is definitely what I feel when I know that we will be done with Kindergarten on Monday.-=-
We registered our homeschool by the the April deadline, so I guess it's a done deal with an easy email/phone call.
>> It sounds like you're done today. You don't need to "pull her out." You can just send them an e-mail saying you registered to homeschool.<<Indeed.
We registered our homeschool by the the April deadline, so I guess it's a done deal with an easy email/phone call.
Sandra Dodd
-=-We registered our homeschool by the the April deadline, so I guess it's a done deal with an easy email/phone call.-=-
"The [New Mexico] April deadline" is for renewal, for statistics. People can register anytime, all year, day or night. It would be a done deal if you registered at 7:30 Monday morning and e-mailed them at 7:31. And many more, laxer scenarios, could also be legally and morally and ethically employed.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"The [New Mexico] April deadline" is for renewal, for statistics. People can register anytime, all year, day or night. It would be a done deal if you registered at 7:30 Monday morning and e-mailed them at 7:31. And many more, laxer scenarios, could also be legally and morally and ethically employed.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dola dasgupta-banerji
I really love this response...yeah I do this a lot now a days..Just tell
people hey "got internet at home, then please google 'unshcooling' and viola
you have all the answers." They generally leave you alone after this...[?]
I rather answer the questions my children have...than those of a bunch of
people who really do not care or want to know...
Dola
people hey "got internet at home, then please google 'unshcooling' and viola
you have all the answers." They generally leave you alone after this...[?]
I rather answer the questions my children have...than those of a bunch of
people who really do not care or want to know...
Dola
On Sat, Aug 27, 2011 at 2:42 AM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> **
>
>
> Heather, I could send you a bunch of my business cards if you want to use
> them as "get out of too-many-question-jail free" cards. You could give them
> to people and say if they're curious about unschooling there are dozens of
> unschooling voices there they could read, but that you need to go spend some
> time with your son!
>
> Or you could print out little papers with links to Joyce's site and
> familyRUNning and all that, and tell them you're glad they're curious, and
> you hope they'll become unschoolers. Spook 'em like you're a missionary, and
> they won't want to talk about it any more, maybe. :-)
>
> Sandra
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
"I get to stage three and she tells me that her kid had his snack
withheld for punishment at school I'll just nod my head and smile."
Sometimes that is the best you can do.
I have a really good local very relaxed homeschooling mom friend who I really like.
She has read Sandra's big book and we have had many good talks about unschooling and parenting.
She says she cannot unschool because of her husband. I am not trying to change her over to unschooling and her husbans really would not get it.
The other night she came over by herself to get milk and told me her 7 year old daughter does not know when she is full, that she just cannot tell when her body was full . I asked her why she thought that.
She said that they went tot eat sushi and that she ate 3 full rolls and then got home and ate one more and when they asked if she was not full
the 7 year old said she was not. She then told me there was no way she was not full so the conclusion is that she must not be able to tell when she is full.
i have known this child for over 3 years of her being my daughter's best friend. I have seen countless times the girl not wanting to eat or saying she was done. I tried gently to tell that to the mom but she was adamant that the girl had a problem.
All I could do after that was nod and smile.
He teenage girl is the one who sometimes comes to my house because she cannot stand being at home.
They are not horrible parents at all. They are very nice and not to strict at all and are not mean. They are pretty cool in many ways and she is a very dedicated mom. I can still be her friend because of it but she will never get unschooling and I just know when to change the subject or nod my head and smile.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
withheld for punishment at school I'll just nod my head and smile."
Sometimes that is the best you can do.
I have a really good local very relaxed homeschooling mom friend who I really like.
She has read Sandra's big book and we have had many good talks about unschooling and parenting.
She says she cannot unschool because of her husband. I am not trying to change her over to unschooling and her husbans really would not get it.
The other night she came over by herself to get milk and told me her 7 year old daughter does not know when she is full, that she just cannot tell when her body was full . I asked her why she thought that.
She said that they went tot eat sushi and that she ate 3 full rolls and then got home and ate one more and when they asked if she was not full
the 7 year old said she was not. She then told me there was no way she was not full so the conclusion is that she must not be able to tell when she is full.
i have known this child for over 3 years of her being my daughter's best friend. I have seen countless times the girl not wanting to eat or saying she was done. I tried gently to tell that to the mom but she was adamant that the girl had a problem.
All I could do after that was nod and smile.
He teenage girl is the one who sometimes comes to my house because she cannot stand being at home.
They are not horrible parents at all. They are very nice and not to strict at all and are not mean. They are pretty cool in many ways and she is a very dedicated mom. I can still be her friend because of it but she will never get unschooling and I just know when to change the subject or nod my head and smile.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I wanted to add that I do not go around discussing unschooling with all the homeschool people , unless they are interested and ask me about ( which happens once in a while- once this past week)
With non homeschooling people I it is even less and I really only say general stuff.
Once my brother in law was very impressed that my son was reading very big words fluently when he was like 6 and a half and he said that I must be a good teacher. My husband and I looked and each other and smiled cause we just wanted to say:" he learned playing Roblox online" but people would not believe anyway so we do not even try!
Alex Polikowsky
________________________________
From: BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...>
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, August 28, 2011 8:45 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Feeling Mentally Exhausted By Too Many Questions
"I get to stage three and she tells me that her kid had his snack
withheld for punishment at school I'll just nod my head and smile."
Sometimes that is the best you can do.
I have a really good local very relaxed homeschooling mom friend who I really like.
She has read Sandra's big book and we have had many good talks about unschooling and parenting.
She says she cannot unschool because of her husband. I am not trying to change her over to unschooling and her husbans really would not get it.
The other night she came over by herself to get milk and told me her 7 year old daughter does not know when she is full, that she just cannot tell when her body was full . I asked her why she thought that.
She said that they went tot eat sushi and that she ate 3 full rolls and then got home and ate one more and when they asked if she was not full
the 7 year old said she was not. She then told me there was no way she was not full so the conclusion is that she must not be able to tell when she is full.
i have known this child for over 3 years of her being my daughter's best friend. I have seen countless times the girl not wanting to eat or saying she was done. I tried gently to tell that to the mom but she was adamant that the girl had a problem.
All I could do after that was nod and smile.
He teenage girl is the one who sometimes comes to my house because she cannot stand being at home.
They are not horrible parents at all. They are very nice and not to strict at all and are not mean. They are pretty cool in many ways and she is a very dedicated mom. I can still be her friend because of it but she will never get unschooling and I just know when to change the subject or nod my head and smile.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
With non homeschooling people I it is even less and I really only say general stuff.
Once my brother in law was very impressed that my son was reading very big words fluently when he was like 6 and a half and he said that I must be a good teacher. My husband and I looked and each other and smiled cause we just wanted to say:" he learned playing Roblox online" but people would not believe anyway so we do not even try!
Alex Polikowsky
________________________________
From: BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...>
To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, August 28, 2011 8:45 AM
Subject: Re: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Feeling Mentally Exhausted By Too Many Questions
"I get to stage three and she tells me that her kid had his snack
withheld for punishment at school I'll just nod my head and smile."
Sometimes that is the best you can do.
I have a really good local very relaxed homeschooling mom friend who I really like.
She has read Sandra's big book and we have had many good talks about unschooling and parenting.
She says she cannot unschool because of her husband. I am not trying to change her over to unschooling and her husbans really would not get it.
The other night she came over by herself to get milk and told me her 7 year old daughter does not know when she is full, that she just cannot tell when her body was full . I asked her why she thought that.
She said that they went tot eat sushi and that she ate 3 full rolls and then got home and ate one more and when they asked if she was not full
the 7 year old said she was not. She then told me there was no way she was not full so the conclusion is that she must not be able to tell when she is full.
i have known this child for over 3 years of her being my daughter's best friend. I have seen countless times the girl not wanting to eat or saying she was done. I tried gently to tell that to the mom but she was adamant that the girl had a problem.
All I could do after that was nod and smile.
He teenage girl is the one who sometimes comes to my house because she cannot stand being at home.
They are not horrible parents at all. They are very nice and not to strict at all and are not mean. They are pretty cool in many ways and she is a very dedicated mom. I can still be her friend because of it but she will never get unschooling and I just know when to change the subject or nod my head and smile.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
hmbpie
=But what if, right now, if she tells you that her kid has his snack withheld you
just nod? You don't have to smile. But you also don't have to tell her school
sucks. She'll figure it out or she won't. And by "just nod," I mean maybe you
could grunt or look askance. But not to go into alternatives and explanations.
Or maybe you could say "Those stories make me feel really bad for him," and
change the subject.=
Thanks. I think I was caught up in the land of extremes. This is better and more rational than where I was.
When I read The Big Book of Unschooling after going to California Home School Conference last year I was SO EXCITED!! and I talked alot about what I was reading and my friends seemed excited too. Somewhere between then and now I think they got tired of hearing my excitement. I can see that now and can take it down a notch when talking to my non-unschooling friends instead of ditching them all. :)
just nod? You don't have to smile. But you also don't have to tell her school
sucks. She'll figure it out or she won't. And by "just nod," I mean maybe you
could grunt or look askance. But not to go into alternatives and explanations.
Or maybe you could say "Those stories make me feel really bad for him," and
change the subject.=
Thanks. I think I was caught up in the land of extremes. This is better and more rational than where I was.
When I read The Big Book of Unschooling after going to California Home School Conference last year I was SO EXCITED!! and I talked alot about what I was reading and my friends seemed excited too. Somewhere between then and now I think they got tired of hearing my excitement. I can see that now and can take it down a notch when talking to my non-unschooling friends instead of ditching them all. :)
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>
> -=-Maybe she read it and thought that when I get to stage three and she tells me that her kid had his snack withheld for punishment at school I'll just nod my head and smile.-=-
>
> I guess she can hope.
>
> But what if, right now, if she tells you that her kid has his snack withheld you just nod? You don't have to smile. But you also don't have to tell her school sucks. She'll figure it out or she won't. And by "just nod," I mean maybe you could grunt or look askance. But not to go into alternatives and explanations.
>
> Or maybe you could say "Those stories make me feel really bad for him," and change the subject.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-I can see that now and can take it down a notch when talking to my non-unschooling friends instead of ditching them all. :) -=-
I just try to talk about other things altogether when I'm with other parent-friends who aren't unschooling.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I just try to talk about other things altogether when I'm with other parent-friends who aren't unschooling.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]