Child Worries
Karen
My son is eight years old. Last night we were lying together in bed. We were both quiet. Neither of us had been talking about anything scary earlier in the night. Actually, we had recently had a wonderful tickle fight. My son has been wanting to tickle every night at bed time lately. He says the laughing feels good. Anyway, quietly, he says to me that he is worried he worries too much. I paused for a bit. Then I asked what he is worried about. He said at night he starts to think of all the bad things that could happen like the house burning down, or being in a flood, or sinking in a boat, and he worries about that. We talked a bit about this, but I didn't want to say too much. We snuggled. I told him he is safe and that he doesn't have to hold on to his worries. He can let them go. He said he feels like he needs to think about them, because if anything happens he will be more prepared. After talking, he went easily to sleep, but this morning I am wondering how I can help him. Any suggestions?
Kelly
My son worries A LOT. About everything. He is six. What I do is to reassure him, talk about every worry individually, and never make him feel silly or trivial about it. We sometimes google facts about the individual worry and talk about how likely the it is that the event may happen. Then we go through what we would do if it did occur. That seems to calm him.
Kelly
Kelly
--- In [email protected], "Karen" <semajrak@...> wrote:
>
> My son is eight years old. Last night we were lying together in bed. We were both quiet. Neither of us had been talking about anything scary earlier in the night. Actually, we had recently had a wonderful tickle fight. My son has been wanting to tickle every night at bed time lately. He says the laughing feels good. Anyway, quietly, he says to me that he is worried he worries too much. I paused for a bit. Then I asked what he is worried about. He said at night he starts to think of all the bad things that could happen like the house burning down, or being in a flood, or sinking in a boat, and he worries about that. We talked a bit about this, but I didn't want to say too much. We snuggled. I told him he is safe and that he doesn't have to hold on to his worries. He can let them go. He said he feels like he needs to think about them, because if anything happens he will be more prepared. After talking, he went easily to sleep, but this morning I am wondering how I can help him. Any suggestions?
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Maybe ask him what he worries about and have safety plans in place that may make him feel more in control.
Maybe watch some survirvorman shows to learn survival.
Do you guys go out in boats a lot? If not that would be something you can tell him is a non issue but that there are
safety precautions you can take like life vests, flares, GPS locators.
Talk about being prepared.
Having a plan in case of fire is a good thing.
We have one with the kids and we have a 2nd story ladder in case of fire that we showed our son how to use.
Maybe you can visit the fire department and get tips from the firefighters.
Things like that can help but do not make them scary .
It is about making him feel empowered and having ways to feel safer and prepared, not scared.
Alex Polikowsky
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Maybe watch some survirvorman shows to learn survival.
Do you guys go out in boats a lot? If not that would be something you can tell him is a non issue but that there are
safety precautions you can take like life vests, flares, GPS locators.
Talk about being prepared.
Having a plan in case of fire is a good thing.
We have one with the kids and we have a 2nd story ladder in case of fire that we showed our son how to use.
Maybe you can visit the fire department and get tips from the firefighters.
Things like that can help but do not make them scary .
It is about making him feel empowered and having ways to feel safer and prepared, not scared.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-My son is eight years old. -=-
If you hadn't said that, I would have asked whether he's about eight years old. Because that's about the time kids start to consider death and other big life changes and to try to figure them out. It's a time when kids become afraid to go to sleep, even if they've slept fine before, and might become afraid of car rides or dangerous rides or games. Not all kids, but lots of them.
Someone else should spot me on this one, please, but there's a book and a board game called "Worst Case Scenario," about what to do in emergencies, and that might be useful. (BUT if someone who's familiar with those says it's a bad idea, that's important to note.)
In the old days when people relied on telephone books and there were government sections in the Yellow Pages (for those outside the US, small towns had white pages for residences and a second section on yellow paper for businesses and advertisements; cities had two separate books, with the Yellow Pages being twice as fat or so as the other)... there would be emergency preparedness pages in there. When I visited cities away from where I lived, I would always look in the Yellow Pages for three things: I would look up churches and flip through to see what the proportions were of various kinds of churches, which for me gave a view of what kind of town it might be--and Synagogues and Mosques were listed under churches. I would flip through to see what there was a big section of that I wasn't familiar with. I was in Maryland once and there were PAGES and pages of dehumidifying equipment and professional companies. But the emergency pages were the coolest. In the Albuquerq book it talked about what to do if you were going hiking, or if you were stranded in the desert or the mountains and needed to make a signal (in a triangle, of mirrors or reflective objects, or of fires, depending when and where) so that airplanes would spot you and call emergency rescue. In California it talked about earthquake kits--what to have in advance, and where to stand/lie/hide during an earthquake, if you were home or if you were in a public place. To turn the gas off. In Texas and Kansas I had seen tornado pages.
Depending on the particular eight year old, he might enjoy some disaster movies. You could try a very unlikely one, maybe. The Poseidon Adventure, or some Titantic movie or other, especially now that there are DVDs with extras talking about how they did the special effects and the stunts.
I learned early on that if I saw a scary movie and just went to sleep, I was way more likely to have bad dreams than if I saw it and talked about it, or stayed awake a while thinking about it, or looked something up about it (in those days, in the encyclopedia, though these days it would be google or youtube). Minds WILL process thoughts, so maybe if you give him a chance to express what he's thinking he'll sleep better.
Sandra
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If you hadn't said that, I would have asked whether he's about eight years old. Because that's about the time kids start to consider death and other big life changes and to try to figure them out. It's a time when kids become afraid to go to sleep, even if they've slept fine before, and might become afraid of car rides or dangerous rides or games. Not all kids, but lots of them.
Someone else should spot me on this one, please, but there's a book and a board game called "Worst Case Scenario," about what to do in emergencies, and that might be useful. (BUT if someone who's familiar with those says it's a bad idea, that's important to note.)
In the old days when people relied on telephone books and there were government sections in the Yellow Pages (for those outside the US, small towns had white pages for residences and a second section on yellow paper for businesses and advertisements; cities had two separate books, with the Yellow Pages being twice as fat or so as the other)... there would be emergency preparedness pages in there. When I visited cities away from where I lived, I would always look in the Yellow Pages for three things: I would look up churches and flip through to see what the proportions were of various kinds of churches, which for me gave a view of what kind of town it might be--and Synagogues and Mosques were listed under churches. I would flip through to see what there was a big section of that I wasn't familiar with. I was in Maryland once and there were PAGES and pages of dehumidifying equipment and professional companies. But the emergency pages were the coolest. In the Albuquerq book it talked about what to do if you were going hiking, or if you were stranded in the desert or the mountains and needed to make a signal (in a triangle, of mirrors or reflective objects, or of fires, depending when and where) so that airplanes would spot you and call emergency rescue. In California it talked about earthquake kits--what to have in advance, and where to stand/lie/hide during an earthquake, if you were home or if you were in a public place. To turn the gas off. In Texas and Kansas I had seen tornado pages.
Depending on the particular eight year old, he might enjoy some disaster movies. You could try a very unlikely one, maybe. The Poseidon Adventure, or some Titantic movie or other, especially now that there are DVDs with extras talking about how they did the special effects and the stunts.
I learned early on that if I saw a scary movie and just went to sleep, I was way more likely to have bad dreams than if I saw it and talked about it, or stayed awake a while thinking about it, or looked something up about it (in those days, in the encyclopedia, though these days it would be google or youtube). Minds WILL process thoughts, so maybe if you give him a chance to express what he's thinking he'll sleep better.
Sandra
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Chris Sanders
I think that around eight years old is a very common age for children to worry about things. My daughter had very intense worries beginning around then and in my research of how to help her, I discovered that lots and lots of kids get worrisome around then. I think that you're response was good and the fact that he was able to fall asleep easily after talking to you is a good indicator that it was right for him.
Acknowledging that his worrying is normal, and being accepting of them but also reassuring him that he's safe and can let go of his worries is probably the best thing you can do. If his worries grow and begin to interfere with his enjoyment of life there are simple techniques you can show him for coping better. But you shouldn't worry about that at this point. :)
Chris
Acknowledging that his worrying is normal, and being accepting of them but also reassuring him that he's safe and can let go of his worries is probably the best thing you can do. If his worries grow and begin to interfere with his enjoyment of life there are simple techniques you can show him for coping better. But you shouldn't worry about that at this point. :)
Chris
On Aug 24, 2011, at 9:00 AM, Karen wrote:
> My son is eight years old. Last night we were lying together in bed. We were both quiet. Neither of us had been talking about anything scary earlier in the night. Actually, we had recently had a wonderful tickle fight. My son has been wanting to tickle every night at bed time lately. He says the laughing feels good. Anyway, quietly, he says to me that he is worried he worries too much. I paused for a bit. Then I asked what he is worried about. He said at night he starts to think of all the bad things that could happen like the house burning down, or being in a flood, or sinking in a boat, and he worries about that. We talked a bit about this, but I didn't want to say too much. We snuggled. I told him he is safe and that he doesn't have to hold on to his worries. He can let them go. He said he feels like he needs to think about them, because if anything happens he will be more prepared. After talking, he went easily to sleep, but this morning I am wondering how I can help him. Any suggestions?
>
>
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lydia reiter
I too, think it is normal.� You and he together could draw an evacuation plan for your house, in case of fire, and have practice fire drills.� Look up flood maps online and see if you live in any type of flood zone. There are different types of floods.� Some like flash floods give little warning but others are much less dangerous.� If you are in a flood zone, research how to prepare for one and do so. Visit a Titanic Museum, watch the movie and visit a real boat. Look at life jackets in a store or buy one and take it to the pool.
Lydia Reiter
________________________________
From: Karen <semajrak@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 9:00 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Child Worries
My son is eight years old. Last night we were lying together in bed. We were both quiet. Neither of us had been talking about anything scary earlier in the night. Actually, we had recently had a wonderful tickle fight. My son has been wanting to tickle every night at bed time lately. He says the laughing feels good. Anyway, quietly, he says to me that he is worried he worries too much. I paused for a bit. Then I asked what he is worried about. He said at night he starts to think of all the bad things that could happen like the house burning down, or being in a flood, or sinking in a boat, and he worries about that. We talked a bit about this, but I didn't want to say too much. We snuggled. I told him he is safe and that he doesn't have to hold on to his worries. He can let them go. He said he feels like he needs to think about them, because if anything happens he will be more prepared. After talking, he went easily to sleep, but this
morning I am wondering how I can help him. Any suggestions?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lydia Reiter
________________________________
From: Karen <semajrak@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, August 24, 2011 9:00 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Child Worries
My son is eight years old. Last night we were lying together in bed. We were both quiet. Neither of us had been talking about anything scary earlier in the night. Actually, we had recently had a wonderful tickle fight. My son has been wanting to tickle every night at bed time lately. He says the laughing feels good. Anyway, quietly, he says to me that he is worried he worries too much. I paused for a bit. Then I asked what he is worried about. He said at night he starts to think of all the bad things that could happen like the house burning down, or being in a flood, or sinking in a boat, and he worries about that. We talked a bit about this, but I didn't want to say too much. We snuggled. I told him he is safe and that he doesn't have to hold on to his worries. He can let them go. He said he feels like he needs to think about them, because if anything happens he will be more prepared. After talking, he went easily to sleep, but this
morning I am wondering how I can help him. Any suggestions?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karen James
**** Depending on the particular eight year old, he might enjoy some disaster
movies. You could try a very unlikely one, maybe. The Poseidon Adventure, or
some Titantic movie or other, especially now that there are DVDs with extras
talking about how they did the special effects and the stunts.****
Oh, yeah... You reminded me of SimCity. We could also explore disasters
and respond to them together there!
movies. You could try a very unlikely one, maybe. The Poseidon Adventure, or
some Titantic movie or other, especially now that there are DVDs with extras
talking about how they did the special effects and the stunts.****
Oh, yeah... You reminded me of SimCity. We could also explore disasters
and respond to them together there!
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<<<"Someone else should spot me on this one, please, but there's a book and a board game called "Worst Case Scenario," about what to do in emergencies, and that might be useful. (BUT if someone who's familiar with those says it's a bad idea, that's important to note.)">>>
I have it! My sister gave it to me when I drove from NC to MN to move in with Brian. She was the one worried. I have been driving cross country since I was 16 and going to dog shows!
It is a small yellow book with scenarios and what to do. To be honest I have not read it in 11 years and not since I had children so I would have to take a look at it to refresh my memory.
Will do that later this PM since I am taking the kids to the beach and won;t be back until later on.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have it! My sister gave it to me when I drove from NC to MN to move in with Brian. She was the one worried. I have been driving cross country since I was 16 and going to dog shows!
It is a small yellow book with scenarios and what to do. To be honest I have not read it in 11 years and not since I had children so I would have to take a look at it to refresh my memory.
Will do that later this PM since I am taking the kids to the beach and won;t be back until later on.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
<<<"Someone else should spot me on this one, please, but there's a book and a board game called "Worst Case Scenario," about what to do in emergencies, and that might be useful. (BUT if someone who's familiar with those says it's a bad idea, that's important to note.)">>>
I have it! My sister gave it to me when I drove from NC to MN to move in with Brian. She was the one worried. I have been driving cross country since I was 16 and going to dog shows!
It is a small yellow book with scenarios and what to do. To be honest I have not read it in 11 years and not since I had children so I would have to take a look at it to refresh my memory.
Will do that later this PM since I am taking the kids to the beach and won;t be back until later on.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have it! My sister gave it to me when I drove from NC to MN to move in with Brian. She was the one worried. I have been driving cross country since I was 16 and going to dog shows!
It is a small yellow book with scenarios and what to do. To be honest I have not read it in 11 years and not since I had children so I would have to take a look at it to refresh my memory.
Will do that later this PM since I am taking the kids to the beach and won;t be back until later on.
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 8/24/2011 9:06 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
Each of my kids and lots of my kids' friends went through a fearful and
worrying stage at about 8 years old, too. Some more than others.
I don't think it is good to dwell on it too much - give it too much
power. I'm not saying just dismiss it as if it doesn't matter - but it
doesn't take a lot of words or a lot of emotion to very calmly and
sweetly say things like, "Remember that you have a mommy and daddy to
take care of you," and "Your mommy and daddy know what to do in
emergencies." Things like that. I think kids who are extremely
imaginative have a harder time with this dawning awareness that bad
things happen randomly. So I wouldn't fuel their imaginations with worst
case scenario stuff - I mean, poor kid may not have been worrying about
snake or spider bites, for example, so you wouldn't want to give him
more things to worry about.
Also, remember that they are still quite egocentric at this age - and
although it seems like they are worrying about their family, it is
probably more in relation to themselves that they are worried. So the
reassuring thing is to tell them that their parents will be able to keep
taking care of them.
I know a kid who started this at about 8 and then it got worse and worse
until he seemed to be constantly afraid. I think his mom made too big a
deal out of it at the beginning. I remember her shushing other people,
including other kids, when they would be talking or even playing pretend
and something potentially scary would come up naturally. I specifically
remember once a kid saying, "Oh, like a volcano erupting," and the mom
ordering him in a very tense voice to "Please do NOT talk about
volcanoes erupting. That is too scary." I remember thinking that her
kid was getting the message that he should be scared of things. Later,
as he got older, HE would say things like that, too.
-pam
> In California it talked about earthquake kits--what to have inMaybe they need those in the northeast, too? <BEG>
> advance, and where to stand/lie/hide during an earthquake, if you were
> home or if you were in a public place. To turn the gas off.
Each of my kids and lots of my kids' friends went through a fearful and
worrying stage at about 8 years old, too. Some more than others.
I don't think it is good to dwell on it too much - give it too much
power. I'm not saying just dismiss it as if it doesn't matter - but it
doesn't take a lot of words or a lot of emotion to very calmly and
sweetly say things like, "Remember that you have a mommy and daddy to
take care of you," and "Your mommy and daddy know what to do in
emergencies." Things like that. I think kids who are extremely
imaginative have a harder time with this dawning awareness that bad
things happen randomly. So I wouldn't fuel their imaginations with worst
case scenario stuff - I mean, poor kid may not have been worrying about
snake or spider bites, for example, so you wouldn't want to give him
more things to worry about.
Also, remember that they are still quite egocentric at this age - and
although it seems like they are worrying about their family, it is
probably more in relation to themselves that they are worried. So the
reassuring thing is to tell them that their parents will be able to keep
taking care of them.
I know a kid who started this at about 8 and then it got worse and worse
until he seemed to be constantly afraid. I think his mom made too big a
deal out of it at the beginning. I remember her shushing other people,
including other kids, when they would be talking or even playing pretend
and something potentially scary would come up naturally. I specifically
remember once a kid saying, "Oh, like a volcano erupting," and the mom
ordering him in a very tense voice to "Please do NOT talk about
volcanoes erupting. That is too scary." I remember thinking that her
kid was getting the message that he should be scared of things. Later,
as he got older, HE would say things like that, too.
-pam
Jen Beeman
>We have the board game, and I think it depends very much on your child
>
>
> "Someone else should spot me on this one, please, but there's a book and a
> board game called "Worst Case Scenario," about what to do in emergencies,
> and that might be useful. (BUT if someone who's familiar with those says
> it's a bad idea, that's important to note)
>
whether or not this would help. It does seem like a good way to play with
thinking about worst case scenarios without any kind of heaviness or panic.
On the other hand, as someone else mentioned, it might give him more ideas
of things to worry about. Also, I played the game a few months ago with a 9
year old and 11 yr old and they found some of the answers to be so silly
they didn't believe them at all. This may be a good thing or bad thing
depending on your son's temperament.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dragonfly
Neo started worrying about a lot of things since around 8. He comes up with these impossible scenarios and worries about how we would handle ourselves. A year ago, I would say things like that the dogs would bark if zombies appeared at our doorstep (this is a central theme in his concerns even though at the time he had never seen a zombie movie ). None of my assurances helped. Talking it out did a little.
This past summer, he watched zombieland and resident evil, two pretty gruesome zombie flicks. He also started playing shooter games and sometimes the bad guys are zombies. He also got some zombie story books, from scooby doo to what we are reading now- the undertakers. It may be a coincidence, but we have noticed a different perspective from him about his fears. Before, he was worried we would most definitely be victims. Now, he sounds more confident we could take anything that comes through that door. Last night we watched 2012 and at the end he said, well, we have driving down, handling weapons, and negotiation- but
we should probably learn how fly a plane at least - it could come in handy. And DH is going to look into flying lessons.
It just seems to me, the movies, the role playing games, the shooter games and being allowed to talk about weapons etc have equipped him with valuable information that helps him envision our survival in the face of disaster. So maybe some exposure to resolutions / plans/ procedure ICE would be helpful to your son.
Burial
Sent from my iPhone
This past summer, he watched zombieland and resident evil, two pretty gruesome zombie flicks. He also started playing shooter games and sometimes the bad guys are zombies. He also got some zombie story books, from scooby doo to what we are reading now- the undertakers. It may be a coincidence, but we have noticed a different perspective from him about his fears. Before, he was worried we would most definitely be victims. Now, he sounds more confident we could take anything that comes through that door. Last night we watched 2012 and at the end he said, well, we have driving down, handling weapons, and negotiation- but
we should probably learn how fly a plane at least - it could come in handy. And DH is going to look into flying lessons.
It just seems to me, the movies, the role playing games, the shooter games and being allowed to talk about weapons etc have equipped him with valuable information that helps him envision our survival in the face of disaster. So maybe some exposure to resolutions / plans/ procedure ICE would be helpful to your son.
Burial
Sent from my iPhone
On Aug 24, 2011, at 6:36 PM, Jen Beeman <taxicrab@...> wrote:
> >
> >
> >
> > "Someone else should spot me on this one, please, but there's a book and a
> > board game called "Worst Case Scenario," about what to do in emergencies,
> > and that might be useful. (BUT if someone who's familiar with those says
> > it's a bad idea, that's important to note)
> >
>
> We have the board game, and I think it depends very much on your child
> whether or not this would help. It does seem like a good way to play with
> thinking about worst case scenarios without any kind of heaviness or panic.
> On the other hand, as someone else mentioned, it might give him more ideas
> of things to worry about. Also, I played the game a few months ago with a 9
> year old and 11 yr old and they found some of the answers to be so silly
> they didn't believe them at all. This may be a good thing or bad thing
> depending on your son's temperament.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie
I would help him investigate ways to actually prepare rather than thinking he's preparing by being aware of dangers and worrying. Take a couple of specific worries and look into them with him.... Ways to prepare, and practice/drill when appropriate, if he wants...swim lessons, life jackets on the boat and working communication, an escape plan for a fire maybe even with a written plan or diagram if he wants, etc...
Julie M
Julie M
--- In [email protected], "Karen" <semajrak@...> wrote:
>
> My son is eight years old. Last night we were lying together in bed. We were both quiet. Neither of us had been talking about anything scary earlier in the night. Actually, we had recently had a wonderful tickle fight. My son has been wanting to tickle every night at bed time lately. He says the laughing feels good. Anyway, quietly, he says to me that he is worried he worries too much. I paused for a bit. Then I asked what he is worried about. He said at night he starts to think of all the bad things that could happen like the house burning down, or being in a flood, or sinking in a boat, and he worries about that. We talked a bit about this, but I didn't want to say too much. We snuggled. I told him he is safe and that he doesn't have to hold on to his worries. He can let them go. He said he feels like he needs to think about them, because if anything happens he will be more prepared. After talking, he went easily to sleep, but this morning I am wondering how I can help him. Any suggestions?
>
[email protected]
>>>Anyway, quietly, he says to me that he is worried he worries too much.<<<My 8 yr old has said these same words to me, lying in the dark. After we talked for awhile, she was relieved when I told her everybody worries sometimes, everybody imagines terrible things sometimes (even mom!) and it doesn't mean something is wrong with her. I think it's an important point to make.
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teresa
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
I think kids who are extremely
> imaginative have a harder time with this dawning awareness that bad
> things happen randomly. So I wouldn't fuel their imaginations with worst
> case scenario stuff - I mean, poor kid may not have been worrying about
> snake or spider bites, for example, so you wouldn't want to give him
> more things to worry about.
>
I was going to share something along these lines.
My younger sister was seven when the TV show "America's Most Wanted" first came on TV. She had trouble sleeping because she got all worked up about killers. My mom tried to help her see it in perspective; she'd explain about how many millions of people lived in the United States, and how on the show they were only talking about a handful of people. She'd break out the map of the U.S. and would show Kate how far away the murders were. This was great until they did stories in Florida, where we lived. (And gosh, for whatever reason, there were several serial killer/horrific murder stories in Florida in the '70s and '80s!) And the randomness of many of the killings undid the security of that statistical unlikelihood piece, too.
I think Pam's approach would have worked really well in our family at that time.
Sandra Dodd
-=-A year ago, I would say things like that the dogs would bark if zombies appeared at our doorstep (this is a central theme in his concerns even though at the time he had never seen a zombie movie ).-=-
Last year I met and hung out with a nine-year-old girl in India. We talked for quite a while. She asked me something about zombies and I was answering within the fiction and "traditions" of where zombies come from. Then I realized that she didn't know it was fictional. She thought zombie movies were documentaries, or at least fiction based on a clear and present danger!
Then I explained to her about voodoo stories of drugged people being used as slaves that turned into spooky kind of "they will get you" stories, but that it was all fiction and there were no real zombies. She was afraid north American and the UK had zombies and they might eventually make it to India.
So rather than telling a child that the dogs would bark, maybe find pictures of actors who have played zombies, and show them side by side in make up and out, and assure him that it's all a game, a play, make-believe.
Sandra
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Last year I met and hung out with a nine-year-old girl in India. We talked for quite a while. She asked me something about zombies and I was answering within the fiction and "traditions" of where zombies come from. Then I realized that she didn't know it was fictional. She thought zombie movies were documentaries, or at least fiction based on a clear and present danger!
Then I explained to her about voodoo stories of drugged people being used as slaves that turned into spooky kind of "they will get you" stories, but that it was all fiction and there were no real zombies. She was afraid north American and the UK had zombies and they might eventually make it to India.
So rather than telling a child that the dogs would bark, maybe find pictures of actors who have played zombies, and show them side by side in make up and out, and assure him that it's all a game, a play, make-believe.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I wouldn't fuel their imaginations with worst
case scenario stuff - I mean, poor kid may not have been worrying about
snake or spider bites, for example, so you wouldn't want to give him
more things to worry about.-=-
Good point.
That's the kind of "spot me" activity I was hoping for. How could it be worse to play a game about how to handle emergencies? And there's the way. For some kids it might be more reassuring to know that dangers were regional, but I do remember when I was little and couldn't even begin to imagine how big our town was, or our state. The idea that there were thousands of cities with over a million people in them was way beyond my comprehension when I was eight years old, so stories did seem close.
International news has made that much worse. A kid falls down a hole and people know it in 120 languages within a few hours. That's too much panic and worry to inject into the global village, but it's been happening for decades that way.
Sandra
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case scenario stuff - I mean, poor kid may not have been worrying about
snake or spider bites, for example, so you wouldn't want to give him
more things to worry about.-=-
Good point.
That's the kind of "spot me" activity I was hoping for. How could it be worse to play a game about how to handle emergencies? And there's the way. For some kids it might be more reassuring to know that dangers were regional, but I do remember when I was little and couldn't even begin to imagine how big our town was, or our state. The idea that there were thousands of cities with over a million people in them was way beyond my comprehension when I was eight years old, so stories did seem close.
International news has made that much worse. A kid falls down a hole and people know it in 120 languages within a few hours. That's too much panic and worry to inject into the global village, but it's been happening for decades that way.
Sandra
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Dragonfly
Yeah, I wasn't doing a lot of things in his best interest a year ago. I cringe when I think back to how I handled things back then.
A coincidence you mentioning telling him about a actors playing zombies. We were watching Fifth Element just now and when Mila's character appeared on screen I asked him if he recognized her and after a bit he snapped his fingers and said hey that's the girl from resident evil. I will be doing that much more often. It's a great tip.
Feel bad for that little girl in India. At least she won't be scared anymore.
Sent from my iPhone
A coincidence you mentioning telling him about a actors playing zombies. We were watching Fifth Element just now and when Mila's character appeared on screen I asked him if he recognized her and after a bit he snapped his fingers and said hey that's the girl from resident evil. I will be doing that much more often. It's a great tip.
Feel bad for that little girl in India. At least she won't be scared anymore.
Sent from my iPhone
On Aug 24, 2011, at 10:29 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
> -=-A year ago, I would say things like that the dogs would bark if zombies appeared at our doorstep (this is a central theme in his concerns even though at the time he had never seen a zombie movie ).-=-
>
> Last year I met and hung out with a nine-year-old girl in India. We talked for quite a while. She asked me something about zombies and I was answering within the fiction and "traditions" of where zombies come from. Then I realized that she didn't know it was fictional. She thought zombie movies were documentaries, or at least fiction based on a clear and present danger!
>
> Then I explained to her about voodoo stories of drugged people being used as slaves that turned into spooky kind of "they will get you" stories, but that it was all fiction and there were no real zombies. She was afraid north American and the UK had zombies and they might eventually make it to India.
>
> So rather than telling a child that the dogs would bark, maybe find pictures of actors who have played zombies, and show them side by side in make up and out, and assure him that it's all a game, a play, make-believe.
>
> Sandra
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
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Karen
Thanks for the suggestions and perspective. We did end up playing SimCity today and dealing with some disasters. He had fun with that, and sending in his fire trucks for a virtual house fire gave us an easy opportunity to talk about real-life house fires, at which point he said he wasn't worried about that any more. He said the worrying happens to him mostly at night when he is lying in bed thinking. I said that happens to me too sometimes, and told him I would always be available to talk if that was something he wanted to do. He seemed okay with that. He is a pretty sensitive little guy, so I think I will let it go for now, not introduce anything new, and see what happens next. Thanks again! I think *I* will take a look in the yellow pages to see what is in there! I have never even looked :)
Sandra Dodd
-=- I think *I* will take a look in the yellow pages to see what is in there! I have never even looked :)-=-
I don't know if it will still have such things. I'm thinking of years ago, and I'm Really Old.
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I don't know if it will still have such things. I'm thinking of years ago, and I'm Really Old.
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riasplace3
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
Ria
>My kids liked the Worse Case Scenario when they were about that age, especially my youngest, since she's fascinated by survival stuff. As for movies, they both liked Volcano, a story about a volcano in LA, with a tie-in to the La Brea tar pits, which are always cool, whether they're bubbling or not. ;)
> > Someone else should spot me on this one, please, but there's a book and a board game called "Worst Case Scenario," about what to do in emergencies, and that might be useful.
> Depending on the particular eight year old, he might enjoy some >disaster movies. You could try a very unlikely one, maybe.
Ria
A
Hi,
There is a book that was published a few years ago called "The Survivors Club: The Secrets and Science that could save your life" by Ben Sherwood. It is full of amazing accounts of people who have survived horrific things and an examination of why they survived when others did not. Hard to read some of it, but interesting and useful information on awareness and preparedness that you can digest for him and talk about after you've read it. I'd recommend all adults read it.
Amy
There is a book that was published a few years ago called "The Survivors Club: The Secrets and Science that could save your life" by Ben Sherwood. It is full of amazing accounts of people who have survived horrific things and an examination of why they survived when others did not. Hard to read some of it, but interesting and useful information on awareness and preparedness that you can digest for him and talk about after you've read it. I'd recommend all adults read it.
Amy
--- In [email protected], "Karen" <semajrak@...> wrote:
>
> My son is eight years old. Last night we were lying together in bed. We were both quiet. Neither of us had been talking about anything scary earlier in the night. Actually, we had recently had a wonderful tickle fight. My son has been wanting to tickle every night at bed time lately. He says the laughing feels good. Anyway, quietly, he says to me that he is worried he worries too much. I paused for a bit. Then I asked what he is worried about. He said at night he starts to think of all the bad things that could happen like the house burning down, or being in a flood, or sinking in a boat, and he worries about that. We talked a bit about this, but I didn't want to say too much. We snuggled. I told him he is safe and that he doesn't have to hold on to his worries. He can let them go. He said he feels like he needs to think about them, because if anything happens he will be more prepared. After talking, he went easily to sleep, but this morning I am wondering how I can help him. Any suggestions?
>
Messyfish
Not sure if this will help, but i know that as a worrier myself when I "keep the drama on the page", then it's out of my head and I can process it more successfully. So perhaps he could find a creative pursuit to "play out" the worries. Writing horror stories, painting zombies and monsters, modeling volcanoes erupting from clay, constructing cardboard cities and lighting them on fire etc etc.
Kind regards,
Anna
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Kind regards,
Anna
BLOG:
http://messyfish.blogspot.com/
ETSY SHOP:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/messyfish?ref=seller_info
plaidpanties666
"A" <rcsdjw5@...> wrote:
I have an active imagination and a tendency to catastrophic thinking, so I tend to avoid those sorts of resources. Something I've learned to do is to use my imagination to sort of "psych myself out" of my catastrophic imaginings - so when I get to worrying about, say, the house burning down, I push the envelope and imagine that the house is on fire because zombies are taking over the area and we all need to flee into the hills and set up a resistance movement. Pure silliness, but its something that helps me shift from feeling like I'm at the mercy of my worries to being in control of them. I can decide to fret about the zombie apocalypse and laugh at myself rather than fussing about something I've rehearsed in my head a dozen times already.
Making plans and talking about realistic solutions can be a good thing, but it doesn't necessarily stop people from worrying, especially late at night.
---Meredith
>Hard to read some of it, but interesting and useful information on awareness and preparedness that you can digest for him and talk about after you've read it. I'd recommend all adults read it.*******************
I have an active imagination and a tendency to catastrophic thinking, so I tend to avoid those sorts of resources. Something I've learned to do is to use my imagination to sort of "psych myself out" of my catastrophic imaginings - so when I get to worrying about, say, the house burning down, I push the envelope and imagine that the house is on fire because zombies are taking over the area and we all need to flee into the hills and set up a resistance movement. Pure silliness, but its something that helps me shift from feeling like I'm at the mercy of my worries to being in control of them. I can decide to fret about the zombie apocalypse and laugh at myself rather than fussing about something I've rehearsed in my head a dozen times already.
Making plans and talking about realistic solutions can be a good thing, but it doesn't necessarily stop people from worrying, especially late at night.
---Meredith