Your favorite replies about why/what/how
maryann
My oldest child is now "kindergarten age", so we've been getting lots of routine questions from friends, family, acquaintances, strangers. I know this is common, and isn't a big deal. But I'm feeling kind of put on the spot each time.
"Pat answers" is probably what I need to come up with. I'm really curious what pat answers you all have used already. :)
Questions have been some form of, "Oh, you're five, so are you getting ready to go to kindergarten?"
And then I've answered,
No, we're not sending him this year, he wouldn't have to go until next year.
Or
We're homeschooling.
Or
We're pretty set on homeschooling, but he wouldn't have to go til next year anyway.
Then we get further questions I need to think of general pat answers to :) such as:
What are you doing?
What do you have planned?
Is it going to be just you guys teaching, or is there a group of parents who will teach different subjects?
Is he excited about getting started?
Do you think he'll be easy for you to teach? (My grandma asked me that.)
What sort of curriculum are you using?
Etc.
I'm looking for ways you all politely give just enough information to satisfy most people quickly. Usually, I don't really want to have a philosophical discussion with them OR leave them feeling like I didn't answer. But, I'm not necessarily looking for specific answers to the above specific questions, just general answers to use for whatever people ask, if that's possible.....
I think most people are just making small talk, so what are your usual small talk replies?
Thank you!
maryann
DS 5y
DD 20mos
"Pat answers" is probably what I need to come up with. I'm really curious what pat answers you all have used already. :)
Questions have been some form of, "Oh, you're five, so are you getting ready to go to kindergarten?"
And then I've answered,
No, we're not sending him this year, he wouldn't have to go until next year.
Or
We're homeschooling.
Or
We're pretty set on homeschooling, but he wouldn't have to go til next year anyway.
Then we get further questions I need to think of general pat answers to :) such as:
What are you doing?
What do you have planned?
Is it going to be just you guys teaching, or is there a group of parents who will teach different subjects?
Is he excited about getting started?
Do you think he'll be easy for you to teach? (My grandma asked me that.)
What sort of curriculum are you using?
Etc.
I'm looking for ways you all politely give just enough information to satisfy most people quickly. Usually, I don't really want to have a philosophical discussion with them OR leave them feeling like I didn't answer. But, I'm not necessarily looking for specific answers to the above specific questions, just general answers to use for whatever people ask, if that's possible.....
I think most people are just making small talk, so what are your usual small talk replies?
Thank you!
maryann
DS 5y
DD 20mos
Tamara
What are you doing?
Usually we list recent activities possibly with some spin on the educational benefits of said activity. eg Going to see dinosaurs in the museum and doing a dino dig game we found in the gift shop. This usually allows me to take the conversation in another direction.
<Is it going to be just you guys teaching, or is there a group of parents who
will teach different subjects?>
Even though we have yet to get connected with unschooling or homeschooling communities I talk about the many groups out there and the kinds of things they are doing without saying explicitly whether or not I will be doing those things. I mention that some homeschooling parents might pay a tutor to help a child explore a particular interest or band together to pay for someone to teach a number of children who have expressed an interest in something. I also point to the wealth of educational programmes available in our local museums. This usually addresses the fear or concern in others that two parents may not be enough to expose my daughter to the world.
<What sort of curriculum are you using?>
I just say that I've taken note of the national curriculum so I'm aware of where my daughter is at and leave it at that.
All best,
Tamara
Usually we list recent activities possibly with some spin on the educational benefits of said activity. eg Going to see dinosaurs in the museum and doing a dino dig game we found in the gift shop. This usually allows me to take the conversation in another direction.
<Is it going to be just you guys teaching, or is there a group of parents who
will teach different subjects?>
Even though we have yet to get connected with unschooling or homeschooling communities I talk about the many groups out there and the kinds of things they are doing without saying explicitly whether or not I will be doing those things. I mention that some homeschooling parents might pay a tutor to help a child explore a particular interest or band together to pay for someone to teach a number of children who have expressed an interest in something. I also point to the wealth of educational programmes available in our local museums. This usually addresses the fear or concern in others that two parents may not be enough to expose my daughter to the world.
<What sort of curriculum are you using?>
I just say that I've taken note of the national curriculum so I'm aware of where my daughter is at and leave it at that.
All best,
Tamara
Sandra Dodd
-=-
Even though we have yet to get connected with unschooling or homeschooling communities I talk about the many groups out there and the kinds of things they are doing without saying explicitly whether or not I will be doing those things. I mention that some homeschooling parents might pay a tutor to help a child explore a particular interest or band together to pay for someone to teach a number of children who have expressed an interest in something. I also point to the wealth of educational programmes available in our local museums. This usually addresses the fear or concern in others that two parents may not be enough to expose my daughter to the world. -=-
I think that's a good way to respond to those questions, too. "Some people...." and "For example, last year..."
-=<What sort of curriculum are you using?>-=-
I would ask them if they knew about the open classroom methods of the early 1970's. If they said yes, I said "It's like that." If they said no, I would either explain it a bit or look slightly dismayed like it was going to take way too long to explain it to this person. (And that was easy, because it was.)
Sometimes I'd give them a website, or name a place they could look (in the AOL days I would say "There's a big forum on AOL." Partly I was assuring them information was available. Also I was pointing out that we had access to continuing information. And also hinting I wasn't going to explain everything to them, but if they really cared, they could find more pretty easily.
Sometimes now I give people a card with my website on it. Others here are welcome to do that too, or Joyce's site can be excellent because it seems to be all on one page. It's not, but it has that super-organized first impression.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Even though we have yet to get connected with unschooling or homeschooling communities I talk about the many groups out there and the kinds of things they are doing without saying explicitly whether or not I will be doing those things. I mention that some homeschooling parents might pay a tutor to help a child explore a particular interest or band together to pay for someone to teach a number of children who have expressed an interest in something. I also point to the wealth of educational programmes available in our local museums. This usually addresses the fear or concern in others that two parents may not be enough to expose my daughter to the world. -=-
I think that's a good way to respond to those questions, too. "Some people...." and "For example, last year..."
-=<What sort of curriculum are you using?>-=-
I would ask them if they knew about the open classroom methods of the early 1970's. If they said yes, I said "It's like that." If they said no, I would either explain it a bit or look slightly dismayed like it was going to take way too long to explain it to this person. (And that was easy, because it was.)
Sometimes I'd give them a website, or name a place they could look (in the AOL days I would say "There's a big forum on AOL." Partly I was assuring them information was available. Also I was pointing out that we had access to continuing information. And also hinting I wasn't going to explain everything to them, but if they really cared, they could find more pretty easily.
Sometimes now I give people a card with my website on it. Others here are welcome to do that too, or Joyce's site can be excellent because it seems to be all on one page. It's not, but it has that super-organized first impression.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
maryann
Thanks Tamara and Sandra for many useful ideas.
After I posted, I learned from my husband that he has been answering these sorts of questions alot, from friends at work and such, and is MUCH more comfortable and relaxed about it than I am. ;)
It's obvious to me now that I was hoping for some catch-phrases from you that have worked to *magically* get people to understand why we would unschool, and to approve of it, and to be satisfied enough not to ask any more questions about it. ;P
And I realize the issue is mine. I have been "studying" unschooling extensively starting when my oldest was 3, in order to really get it, and to apply my understanding to my parenting. And I will continue to work on getting it more fully, for years and years. I haven't yet unschooled a school-aged child, so I don't *really* know what that's like.
So I really don't expect others to "get it" at all. I expect them to not understand and to think we are weird and maybe even crazy. Or that we're limiting, sheltering, school-at-homers. Mostly that! So I don't even want to discuss it. It's similar to the feeling I had about people knowing we were "still nursing" when my son was way, way past his first birthday. Except I can't expect to just keep this private. ;)
Parenting continues to get me to stretch and grow beyond comfortable limits. I don't need pat answers, I need to work on being confident and comfortable even with subtle disapproval of friends and neighbors and acquaintances. Happily, the grandparents trust our judgement, and most other close family has responded well when I've pointed out that I could go back to work and teach (speech and language) other people's children while someone else teaches mine, but we enjoy being together so we'll do it as long as we all want to and are able. (Actually, I think that's my pat answer!)
This list is such a huge help to me. I really appreciate the wisdom and experience here.
Thanks,
maryann
DS 5
DD 1
After I posted, I learned from my husband that he has been answering these sorts of questions alot, from friends at work and such, and is MUCH more comfortable and relaxed about it than I am. ;)
It's obvious to me now that I was hoping for some catch-phrases from you that have worked to *magically* get people to understand why we would unschool, and to approve of it, and to be satisfied enough not to ask any more questions about it. ;P
And I realize the issue is mine. I have been "studying" unschooling extensively starting when my oldest was 3, in order to really get it, and to apply my understanding to my parenting. And I will continue to work on getting it more fully, for years and years. I haven't yet unschooled a school-aged child, so I don't *really* know what that's like.
So I really don't expect others to "get it" at all. I expect them to not understand and to think we are weird and maybe even crazy. Or that we're limiting, sheltering, school-at-homers. Mostly that! So I don't even want to discuss it. It's similar to the feeling I had about people knowing we were "still nursing" when my son was way, way past his first birthday. Except I can't expect to just keep this private. ;)
Parenting continues to get me to stretch and grow beyond comfortable limits. I don't need pat answers, I need to work on being confident and comfortable even with subtle disapproval of friends and neighbors and acquaintances. Happily, the grandparents trust our judgement, and most other close family has responded well when I've pointed out that I could go back to work and teach (speech and language) other people's children while someone else teaches mine, but we enjoy being together so we'll do it as long as we all want to and are able. (Actually, I think that's my pat answer!)
This list is such a huge help to me. I really appreciate the wisdom and experience here.
Thanks,
maryann
DS 5
DD 1