shirarocklin

Hi again,

This isn't really an unschooling question... but I am trying to apply unschooling principles to every area of life, so I thought this question could be appropriate here.

I have a 2 year old who I would like to stop nursing at night. He stays latched on for very long periods of the night, during which I cannot sleep deeply and its affecting my ability to cope during the day. I tried to night-wean him a few months ago, trying to offer other ways of comfort and relaxation (his water bottle to drink, music, white noise, me singing, rubbing him, lying still, rocking him, reading a book, telling a story from memory, etc). There were some nights that worked out, however whatever I do one night, he won't accept the next night. I've been attempting not to nurse each time he wakes up again recently, and he gets very angry and cries and screams a lot. But often nursing doesn't really put him back to sleep anymore anyhow, if I do, and eventually becomes physically unbearable for me.

My husband is not able to help me at night, unfortunately. I can tell my son really wants to go back to sleep... he doesn't like to have lights turned on, he acts tired, just doesn't know how to fall back to sleep. I don't think he's waking up hungry... there isn't a whole lot of milk he's getting from me, and he doesn't say he's hungry.

Aside from what I'm doing already, singing, talking, rubbing, offering water, rocking, etc... are there other ideas for helping him calm down enough to go to sleep? I'd really like to help feel safe and calm, and not frantic and angry. I'm worried that he won't accept other measures of comfort and will continue to cry and scream nightly... it just doesn't feel right to leave him feeling like that. And its very difficult for me to stay awake/aware enough to really be with him at night that way, because I'm so exhausted from this accumulated lack of deep sleep.

Thanks for ideas,
Shira

Robin Bentley

>
> I have a 2 year old who I would like to stop nursing at night. He
> stays latched on for very long periods of the night, during which I
> cannot sleep deeply and its affecting my ability to cope during the
> day. I tried to night-wean him a few months ago, trying to offer
> other ways of comfort and relaxation (his water bottle to drink,
> music, white noise, me singing, rubbing him, lying still, rocking
> him, reading a book, telling a story from memory, etc). There were
> some nights that worked out, however whatever I do one night, he
> won't accept the next night. I've been attempting not to nurse each
> time he wakes up again recently, and he gets very angry and cries
> and screams a lot. But often nursing doesn't really put him back to
> sleep anymore anyhow, if I do, and eventually becomes physically
> unbearable for me.

Saying "a 2 year old who *I* would like to stop nursing at night" is
the first stumbling block! It's about you, then, not him.

Could it be that maybe he really needs that particular kind of
closeness and that your efforts to change the routine make him cling
to his comfort even more? He knows you aren't really happy about his
nursing at night, but he needs it and your trying to change his life
in a big way. Perhaps his discomfort at being given other calming
methods is what's making it difficult for him to calm down and sleep
and giving you the opportunity to sleep.

For him, at two, it's still a huge part of his life! If he is allowed
to stop in his own time (not to say you can't offer other things, but
you probably will have to find a way to be okay with his needs and not
resentful), he might stop nursing earlier if you stop resisting! I
remember being done with nursing before my daughter was. When I
started feeling a bit put-upon, she ramped up her need. I relaxed and
breathed *a lot*. I sorely missed that connection when she weaned
herself.

The other thing to remember that lack of sleep is always a possibility
with small children. It won't last forever. It's sometimes hard to see
that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't an oncoming train when
you're in the middle of said tunnel, but things *will* change.

Napping during the day with a toddler helps in getting some rest. Can
your 5 year old cuddle up with you, too? Read a book to them both?
Alternatively, finding someone to be a mother's helper could be a
solution. Someone to hang with the kids while you get some sleep?

>
> My husband is not able to help me at night, unfortunately. I can
> tell my son really wants to go back to sleep... he doesn't like to
> have lights turned on, he acts tired, just doesn't know how to fall
> back to sleep. I don't think he's waking up hungry... there isn't a
> whole lot of milk he's getting from me, and he doesn't say he's
> hungry.

Hunger and milk production don't usually figure much into toddler
nursing. It's comfort, not food he wants.
>
> Aside from what I'm doing already, singing, talking, rubbing,
> offering water, rocking, etc... are there other ideas for helping
> him calm down enough to go to sleep? I'd really like to help feel
> safe and calm, and not frantic and angry. I'm worried that he won't
> accept other measures of comfort and will continue to cry and scream
> nightly... it just doesn't feel right to leave him feeling like
> that. And its very difficult for me to stay awake/aware enough to
> really be with him at night that way, because I'm so exhausted from
> this accumulated lack of deep sleep.

Your baby (and even as a toddler, he's still a baby) will accept other
measures when he's ready. Just like being ready to walk, talk, read,
go to college <g>.

Finding a way to meet his needs (and they're big - it's your love and
acceptance and comfort that's at stake for him) and get your need for
rest another time. And if you relax and breathe, he might relax and
sleep at night, too.

Robin B.
Mother of a long-term nursling and former LLL leader

Sandra Dodd

-=-Aside from what I'm doing already, singing, talking, rubbing, offering water, rocking, etc... are there other ideas for helping him calm down enough to go to sleep? I'd really like to help feel safe and calm, and not frantic and angry. I'm worried that he won't accept other measures of comfort and will continue to cry and scream nightly... it just doesn't feel right to leave him feeling like that. And its very difficult for me to stay awake/aware enough to really be with him at night that way, because I'm so exhausted from this accumulated lack of deep sleep. -=-

Would he watch a video with headphones?
If you're not sleeping where your husband is sleeping, what about recorded lullaby tapes (playlist/cd/something)? We had tapes for each child of good nighttime songs.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sandra Dodd

-=-Saying "a 2 year old who *I* would like to stop nursing at night" is
the first stumbling block! It's about you, then, not him.-=-

Except she said it's becoming unbearable for the mom.
That happened with me, after Marty was born. I could nurse Marty very peacefully and couldn't with Kirby, though I tried for six more months. I was no longer able to relax into it at all, with Kirby. I've talked to another mom who had the same reaction after a second child was nursing.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

heidihaghighi

I also have a two year old, and I also have similar experiences in night nursing. I tried many of the things you have tried and realized they did not work at all. Finally I thought, well, instead of all of these distracting measures, why don't I just tell her what's going on. So, for the past 3 weeks when I feel frustrated and not enjoying the night nursing (sometimes it's fine and I hardly notice but other times it feels excruciatingly annoying!) I will tell her, while she is latched on, "bubbies are all done. Mommy needs to sleep now". Then I wait. I don't take her off. If she is still sucking after about 10 seconds I say it again. Usually after the second time she lets go, rolls over and say "nigh-nigh mommy" and is asleep in seconds, and stays asleep for several more hours.

On the contrary, when I have said the same line, but taken my nipple out of her mouth by force, she will sometime fall asleep, but will usually react angrily. Even after she would fall asleep she would wake up shortly after whining, crying, and needing nursing even more.

So I would advise you to not take your nipple out and not refuse him ever. Just when it is getting to difficult for you to endure peacefully tell him that your milk is all done and mommy needs to sleep now. Then wait for him to finish and let go. Our children, especially at 2 years old, can grasp this concept. Distractions probably won't work at this age, nor are they as honest to your child.

--- In [email protected], "shirarocklin" <shirarocklin@...> wrote:
>
> Hi again,
>
> This isn't really an unschooling question... but I am trying to apply unschooling principles to every area of life, so I thought this question could be appropriate here.
>
> I have a 2 year old who I would like to stop nursing at night. He stays latched on for very long periods of the night, during which I cannot sleep deeply and its affecting my ability to cope during the day. I tried to night-wean him a few months ago, trying to offer other ways of comfort and relaxation (his water bottle to drink, music, white noise, me singing, rubbing him, lying still, rocking him, reading a book, telling a story from memory, etc). There were some nights that worked out, however whatever I do one night, he won't accept the next night. I've been attempting not to nurse each time he wakes up again recently, and he gets very angry and cries and screams a lot. But often nursing doesn't really put him back to sleep anymore anyhow, if I do, and eventually becomes physically unbearable for me.
>
> My husband is not able to help me at night, unfortunately. I can tell my son really wants to go back to sleep... he doesn't like to have lights turned on, he acts tired, just doesn't know how to fall back to sleep. I don't think he's waking up hungry... there isn't a whole lot of milk he's getting from me, and he doesn't say he's hungry.
>
> Aside from what I'm doing already, singing, talking, rubbing, offering water, rocking, etc... are there other ideas for helping him calm down enough to go to sleep? I'd really like to help feel safe and calm, and not frantic and angry. I'm worried that he won't accept other measures of comfort and will continue to cry and scream nightly... it just doesn't feel right to leave him feeling like that. And its very difficult for me to stay awake/aware enough to really be with him at night that way, because I'm so exhausted from this accumulated lack of deep sleep.
>
> Thanks for ideas,
> Shira
>

Robin Bentley

> -=-Saying "a 2 year old who *I* would like to stop nursing at night"
> is
> the first stumbling block! It's about you, then, not him.-=-
>
> Except she said it's becoming unbearable for the mom.

I got the impression that it was about not getting sleep, more than
pain. Perhaps I misread.

I found nursing a toddler physically uncomfortable many times. I found
it happened more if I was trying to stop her from nursing. My focus
wasn't on relaxing myself, so she would be tense, too.

> That happened with me, after Marty was born. I could nurse Marty
> very peacefully and couldn't with Kirby, though I tried for six more
> months. I was no longer able to relax into it at all, with Kirby.
> I've talked to another mom who had the same reaction after a second
> child was nursing.

Was that tandem nursing, though? Is the mom also tandem nursing
newborn? Maybe I don't have (or didn't understand the whole story).

Robin B.

Natalie

Hi Shira, oh I am just breathing for you and with you. I too have a nursing 2 1/2 yr old, Luna. I remember feeling the way you describe. I also feel like she is shifting again, just a little. In retrospect, I remember I would nurse her to sleep and she would stay a sleep for most of the night. Then a couple of months after she turned two she started to nurse at night so much that i hardly was getting any sleep. The transition from getting sleep to not getting sleep was really hard and a big shock to my body. I became stressed and resistant to nursing her. The more i didn't want to nurse I felt the more she wanted me at night. I became inflexible. My thought process was" hey you changed on me, this doesn't work for me, i liked the way it was before, i feel like we are going backwards, i liked feeling a little freedom and space".
I allowed myself to have my feelings. I also recognized that we just moved to a new state and new house, we were away from their daddy, my partner for two months before moving...Of course i was exhausted, of course she was nursing like crazy. Part of my exhaustion was, I was a single mom for two months. I needed a break, I need some self love, I needed sleep, I needed to hang out with friends. Fill up my well. From doing these things I found my compassion. I didn't even know I lost it. I lost having compassion for myself. No wonder it was hard finding it for her for this particular situation. She is only two. She is going through really big changes and she finds comfort in sleeping at my breast. How can i not. When i shifted i was so happy to know that I am right there for her, i cuddled her when she nursed and tickled her. Now she actually finds comfort in being tickled as well. So i do both. And she will change again and again and again... We all do.

I am not sharing this to make you feel guilty on wanting to wean your ds. I hope you don't feel that way. Sleep is such an important thing. You are an amazing mom for nursing, and night nursing so long. We all do the best we can. I hope you can find ways to fill up yourself (finding ways to sleep) so you can feel more grounded about the situation, what ever decision you make. In LLL meetings we would always say this too shall pass. Find support, find other like minded mamas to help along the way.
Be gentle with yourself.
Natalie

--- In [email protected], "shirarocklin" <shirarocklin@...> wrote:
>
> Hi again,
>
> This isn't really an unschooling question... but I am trying to apply unschooling principles to every area of life, so I thought this question could be appropriate here.
>
> I have a 2 year old who I would like to stop nursing at night. He stays latched on for very long periods of the night, during which I cannot sleep deeply and its affecting my ability to cope during the day. I tried to night-wean him a few months ago, trying to offer other ways of comfort and relaxation (his water bottle to drink, music, white noise, me singing, rubbing him, lying still, rocking him, reading a book, telling a story from memory, etc). There were some nights that worked out, however whatever I do one night, he won't accept the next night. I've been attempting not to nurse each time he wakes up again recently, and he gets very angry and cries and screams a lot. But often nursing doesn't really put him back to sleep anymore anyhow, if I do, and eventually becomes physically unbearable for me.
>
> My husband is not able to help me at night, unfortunately. I can tell my son really wants to go back to sleep... he doesn't like to have lights turned on, he acts tired, just doesn't know how to fall back to sleep. I don't think he's waking up hungry... there isn't a whole lot of milk he's getting from me, and he doesn't say he's hungry.
>
> Aside from what I'm doing already, singing, talking, rubbing, offering water, rocking, etc... are there other ideas for helping him calm down enough to go to sleep? I'd really like to help feel safe and calm, and not frantic and angry. I'm worried that he won't accept other measures of comfort and will continue to cry and scream nightly... it just doesn't feel right to leave him feeling like that. And its very difficult for me to stay awake/aware enough to really be with him at night that way, because I'm so exhausted from this accumulated lack of deep sleep.
>
> Thanks for ideas,
> Shira
>

shirarocklin

> -=-Saying "a 2 year old who *I* would like to stop nursing at night" is
> the first stumbling block! It's about you, then, not him.-=-
>
> Except she said it's becoming unbearable for the mom.
> That happened with me, after Marty was born. I could nurse Marty very peacefully and couldn't with Kirby, though I tried for six more months. I was no longer able to relax into it at all, with Kirby. I've talked to another mom who had the same reaction after a second child was nursing.
>
> Sandra
------------------------------

Yes, this happened when my daughter was 2.5 and I was pregnant with the current toddler. Nursing became physically unbearable at night... I could weather it during the day, but couldn't bear it at night. Its not that its about me - except that it is about me. The nursing dyad is how I've heard LLL leaders refer to the nursing relationship. Yes his needs are paramount to me, and I definitely was able to cope with the lack of sleep in the baby stage, it was on a different level from this. Sleeping with a nursing baby is much easier, the latch is different, my hormones are different, there's milk flowing, it feels good and right. Nursing a toddler feels good too, but with teeth and a bigger mouth and a toddler's personality, and scratching or grabbing other body parts, or latching on all night long, its not the same.

And partially, I am thinking ahead, because I am newly pregnant, and it was very torturous for me and my daughter when I decided to end things rather suddenly because I tried to keep the night-nursing going longer than I was really able to comfortably. I'd like to find a gentler way than just cold turkey this time, and I felt that included giving him more time to adjust instead of keeping at it until its completely unbearable again.

I did think that perhaps an Ipod touch, with a couple of kids shows maybe dimmed and with low sound might help him relax. He doesn't like me to turn on the lights to read something to him. Noise doesn't bother my husband (in the same room with us). My husband doesn't think its a great idea to give something so expensive and delicate to an unsupervised two year old, however, so I have to think about it some more.

Shira

shirarocklin

--- Could it be that maybe he really needs that particular kind of
closeness and that your efforts to change the routine make him cling
to his comfort even more? He knows you aren't really happy about his
nursing at night, but he needs it and your trying to change his life
in a big way. Perhaps his discomfort at being given other calming
methods is what's making it difficult for him to calm down and sleep
and giving you the opportunity to sleep. ---

That's not just a possibility, its completely true. His needs are real, which is why I've nursed him at night this long, although I've been getting less and less sleep for a while. There is a tipping point for some women, though, from what I've read on a local Attachment Parenting list. Many women, at some point, just can't do it anymore. At this point, while his need to nurse is huge, my need not to nurse (in my opinion, and I am the one with the 'nursies' to decide) is also biological and big, and maybe even bigger, because I also want to be able to treat both kids better during the day and that involves being able to keep my eyes open. I think the benefits to my daytime parenting of both children if I am better-slept outweighs the benefits to him nursing at night (he nurses a lot during the day too, which is ok), although maybe not from his perspective in the middle of the night.


---For him, at two, it's still a huge part of his life! If he is allowed
to stop in his own time (not to say you can't offer other things, but
you probably will have to find a way to be okay with his needs and not
resentful), he might stop nursing earlier if you stop resisting! I
remember being done with nursing before my daughter was. When I
started feeling a bit put-upon, she ramped up her need. I relaxed and
breathed *a lot*. I sorely missed that connection when she weaned
herself.---

You know... this advice I hear a lot. Its good advice. I've seen it work for some women, who's discomfort or lack of sleep may not be as severe, or who have better capacity to compensate. I told myself this for a long time with my first one. And then I saw a documentary about some animals, mammals, and I distinctly remember something clicking in my mind when I saw a mother cow, and her nursling toddler-equivalent cow, and she pushed the baby away when he tried to nurse. I realized that its a relationship with two sides. In some human cultures babies have nursed until they wean themselves, in others babies were weaned as toddlers, or younger or older.

---The other thing to remember that lack of sleep is always a possibility
with small children. It won't last forever. It's sometimes hard to see
that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't an oncoming train when
you're in the middle of said tunnel, but things *will* change.---

My LLL Leader friend said this recently when I was asking for advice. She quoted the study that showed that cosleeping/night-nursing moms had better sleep than those with babies in another bedroom. Does anyone know if that study included toddlers, or just infants? I have a feeling (and I've seen a lot of frantic mothers post about night-nursing toddlers on my local list) that night-nursing a toddler is just a different ballgame than a baby. This lack of sleep is completely different from newborn lack of sleep. With a baby, you wake up, nurse them back to sleep, unlatch (or not) and then fall back into a relatively deep sleep, definitely I would get to REM sleep. Now I rarely even get that, nevermind that third and fourth stage deep sleep. When I get a chance for a nap during the day... I can't even fall asleep deeply if I want to, because of the accumulation and built-in fear of being woken by a child.

Has this veered too far away from unschooling discussion?

Shira

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

""I did think that perhaps an Ipod touch, with a couple of kids shows maybe dimmed and with low sound might help
him relax. He doesn't like me to turn on the lights to read something
to him. Noise doesn't bother my husband (in the same room with us). My husband doesn't think its a great idea to give something so expensive
and delicate to an unsupervised two year old, however, so I have to
think about it some more."""

An under $100 dollars dvd player with his favorite shows is a lot cheaper. He even may like a headphone!
Having said that my daughter Gigi did not watch any TV or shows until she was over 2 or 2 and a half. Even with the TV on and cartoon for her older brother she just did not care to look at if for more than a few seconds.
When nursing was getting hard when I was pregnant or tandem nursing the best way was to  just limit the time but say yes in the beginning. Another way was to postpone it.  It was a gentle way to night wean even if my intention was not to do so. I wouls say "OK just a minute " and then:" Lets go to sleep now " Later on I started doing it during the day.

I really like a lot of the tips on this breastfeeding site:http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html
 
Alex Polikowsky
 
 
 


________________________________

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robin Bentley

>> Except she said it's becoming unbearable for the mom.
>> That happened with me, after Marty was born. I could nurse Marty
>> very peacefully and couldn't with Kirby, though I tried for six
>> more months. I was no longer able to relax into it at all, with
>> Kirby. I've talked to another mom who had the same reaction after
>> a second child was nursing.
>
> Yes, this happened when my daughter was 2.5 and I was pregnant with
> the current toddler. Nursing became physically unbearable at
> night... I could weather it during the day, but couldn't bear it at
> night. Its not that its about me - except that it is about me. The
> nursing dyad is how I've heard LLL leaders refer to the nursing
> relationship. Yes his needs are paramount to me, and I definitely
> was able to cope with the lack of sleep in the baby stage, it was on
> a different level from this. Sleeping with a nursing baby is much
> easier, the latch is different, my hormones are different, there's
> milk flowing, it feels good and right. Nursing a toddler feels good
> too, but with teeth and a bigger mouth and a toddler's personality,
> and scratching or grabbing other body parts, or latching on all
> night long, its not the same.

Just thinking about the grabbing other body parts part, have you tried
those nursing necklaces that babies and kids like to play with? That
might help him keep his hands busy <g>.
>
> And partially, I am thinking ahead, because I am newly pregnant, and
> it was very torturous for me and my daughter when I decided to end
> things rather suddenly because I tried to keep the night-nursing
> going longer than I was really able to comfortably. I'd like to
> find a gentler way than just cold turkey this time, and I felt that
> included giving him more time to adjust instead of keeping at it
> until its completely unbearable again.

Being pregnant can really mess with nursing - the hormones are being
directed to baby-growing, not to milk production and let down. Many
kids wean on their own because they don't like the taste of what milk
there is. Not sure that's making any difference in your son's case,
though.
>
> I did think that perhaps an Ipod touch, with a couple of kids shows
> maybe dimmed and with low sound might help him relax. He doesn't
> like me to turn on the lights to read something to him. Noise
> doesn't bother my husband (in the same room with us). My husband
> doesn't think its a great idea to give something so expensive and
> delicate to an unsupervised two year old, however, so I have to
> think about it some more.

Maybe someone can pipe up with possibilities for close-to-
indestructible iPod-like technology.

Oh, I'm wondering if driving him around in the car at night might
help? You could go on a star-hunting expedition. Some kids fall deeply
asleep in the car and can be brought into bed without waking. That
might give you more than a few hours of deep sleep before he wakes
again, too.

Robin B.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Rinelle

> Maybe someone can pipe up with possibilities for close-to-
> indestructible iPod-like technology.

In my experience, an iPod (or iPod touch, which is what I have experience
with), are near indestructible. My daughter has had one since she was 5 or
so, and it has been dropped countless times and survived. Just recently
(she's 7 now), she dropped it and it now has a crack clear across the
screen, but it is still perfectly useable. My sister gave her daughter one
at 18 months old, and then an iPad a few months later, and both are still
going strong as well. You can also buy plastic cases for them that help
protect them even more, as they are kind of thick and rubbery and cushion
any falls.

My daughter also wanted to feed non-stop at around 2 years old, and I
remember posting to various boards several times wanting to find a way to
stop it. Unfortunately, as many others here have mentioned, anything I did
to try to get her to cut back seemed to just intensify the need to nurse.
Then, at about 2.5, she suddenly started sleeping through the night without
any prompting from me, and didn't feed at night again, though she did feed
to sleep till after 4. In our case, I think it was teething pain from her 2
year molars that caused the nursing, and once they were through (a few weeks
or months afterwards), the need disappeared.

Some things that we found helped were using teething remedies before bed,
and on night waking, and using a white noise recording at night. The white
noise particularly helped my daughter sleep more solid blocks of sleep from
the day we introduced it, so much so that we all still sleep with it on. It
helps all of us sleep better!

Tamara

Robin Bentley

>
> My LLL Leader friend said this recently when I was asking for
> advice. She quoted the study that showed that cosleeping/night-
> nursing moms had better sleep than those with babies in another
> bedroom. Does anyone know if that study included toddlers, or just
> infants? I have a feeling (and I've seen a lot of frantic mothers
> post about night-nursing toddlers on my local list) that night-
> nursing a toddler is just a different ballgame than a baby.

Yup, nursing a toddler is different. Has your friend given you the
book "Mothering Your Nursing Toddler"? I think it's been updated since
I read it. It might have some good ideas, too.

> This lack of sleep is completely different from newborn lack of
> sleep. With a baby, you wake up, nurse them back to sleep, unlatch
> (or not) and then fall back into a relatively deep sleep, definitely
> I would get to REM sleep. Now I rarely even get that, nevermind
> that third and fourth stage deep sleep. When I get a chance for a
> nap during the day... I can't even fall asleep deeply if I want to,
> because of the accumulation and built-in fear of being woken by a
> child.

Maybe some meditation/brainwave stuff on an iPod might work for you.
If you can get your brainwaves to delta, you can get deeply rested in
a short period of time. Self-hypnosis can work that way, also.
>
> Has this veered too far away from unschooling discussion?


I think it's good to find ways to meet needs early on; it makes
unschooling easier. Thinking about readiness (children) and how to
respond (parents) is good at any time.

If you can bring it back to learning, maybe look at it from that point
of view. What are your kid(s) learning from this? Mom has natural
limits? Mom is really making an effort to meet my needs? Mom loves me,
even if this period is a bit wacky? Maybe all of these things and more.

Robin B.

Robin Bentley

>
> When nursing was getting hard when I was pregnant or tandem nursing
> the best way was to just limit the time but say yes in the beginning.

Ha! Saying some form of "yes".

> Another way was to postpone it. It was a gentle way to night wean
> even if my intention was not to do so. I wouls say "OK just a minute
> " and then:" Lets go to sleep now " Later on I started doing it
> during the day.

Good advice, Alex. I forgot that I did this, too. It seems like
forever ago...

Robin B.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robin Bentley

> Some things that we found helped were using teething remedies before
> bed,
> and on night waking, and using a white noise recording at night.
> The white
> noise particularly helped my daughter sleep more solid blocks of
> sleep from
> the day we introduced it, so much so that we all still sleep with it
> on. It
> helps all of us sleep better!

Hyland teething tablets worked well for us, also.

Even though we are no longer sleeping three-in-a-bed, at times my
husband and I use a sound program of "waves on the shore" or "rain" to
help us get to sleep. Never even thought of it when Senna was a baby,
but she often falls asleep to music now. I did that when I was a teen.

Robin B.

Sandra Dodd

-=-Oh, I'm wondering if driving him around in the car at night might
help? You could go on a star-hunting expedition. Some kids fall deeply
asleep in the car and can be brought into bed without waking. That
might give you more than a few hours of deep sleep before he wakes
again, too.-=-

We did that with Kirby lots of times because he never has fallen asleep as easily as the rest of us.

If anyone mentioned a pacifier (dummy / binky), I missed it. They're not ideal, but maybe one kept near the bed for nighttime would help the transition.

The topic won't be directly useful to a lot of unschoolers, but it's a good example of brainstorming compassionate options.

Sandra






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

shirarocklin

Thank you. Plenty of great ideas here. Too many to quote. I'm picking through to find the ones we can try (like, we don't have a car, so can't go on nighttime rides). Glad to know the ipod is not so easily broken. White noise doesn't seem to help him, but he loves music. A combination of what Alex suggested communicating and some music or meditative sounds when he's ready sounds like a nice thing to try out.
Shira

Kerryn LH

I've seen this children's book about gentle night weaning mentioned on
parenting forums lately http://nursiesbook.com/


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Deb Lewis

***I have a 2 year old who I would like to stop nursing at night. ***

When Dylan was a toddler I'd move to the recliner to nurse at night. He'd get wiggly and I was worried about disturbing his dad.
It might be that if you got out of bed he'd want to be up then and wouldn't go back to sleep. For us it worked. The position in the chair was more comfortable for nursing a toddler. I did sometimes sleep in the chair. If there's space in your bedroom for a rocker/recliner by your bed that might be even easier.

I realize the problem is your lack of sleep, and your anxiety about that, which probably exacerbates the problem. Maybe if you found a more comfortable way to nurse him at night that could help some until you find a way to stop.

Finding some help with your anxiety about lack of sleep might help you relax enough to get a bit more sleep in the intervening time. Magnesium supplements?

Deb Lewis

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]