Daughter not scared
mkangj
I remember reading a series of posts last year about protecting our children from scenes in movies - to be kind to our children. My husband played my daughter the movie, The Wizard of Oz tonight. They've been watching some scenes over the course of a few months on YouTube and two months ago, I took our daughter to see a very shortened and tamed musical version of it geared for all ages, which she loved. (I told her I would cover her eyes if there was anything that scared her and she wasn't scared.)
I remember when I was younger, there were scenes from The Wizard of Oz that scared me. After she watched the classic movie version tonight, she said she wasn't scared at all. She's 3 years and 2 months old. Maybe she didn't understand it? She says Wicked Witch is her friend. I'm thinking it's not kind for her to see the movie version of The Wizard of Oz. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
I remember when I was younger, there were scenes from The Wizard of Oz that scared me. After she watched the classic movie version tonight, she said she wasn't scared at all. She's 3 years and 2 months old. Maybe she didn't understand it? She says Wicked Witch is her friend. I'm thinking it's not kind for her to see the movie version of The Wizard of Oz. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
Joyce Fetteroll
On May 6, 2011, at 11:35 PM, mkangj wrote:
Paying attention to her reactions to help guide you on what else she
might like. Then at the end you're looking at her through you-colored
glasses and "what you're supposed to see in 3 yos" glasses.
Rather than thinking in terms of protecting her from what she
"shouldn't" see, help her avoid what *she* doesn't want to see. Sure
seems like she enjoys Wizard of Oz! And help her with skills and
strategies to avoid the parts that she doesn't, like covering her eyes
or ears, muting, fast forwarding, skipping scenes, watching during the
day, stopping when she wants to, watching Making Of documentaries.
So kids are fine with bloody fight scenes but cringe at adults yelling
at kids. Each child is unique. There is no one size fits all 3-yos on
what they will like and what they won't like. When Kat was 3 we
watched the Seven Samurai. It's black and white. It's in Japanese so I
read the whole thing to her. It's 3.5 hours long and took us 2 or 3
days to watch it. I believe she was also 3 when she was enthralled by
Dances with Wolves, also over 3 hours. And she listened enraptured to
Red Raptor on a long trip, which is an adult novel about a Utah Raptor.
What bothered her in all the movies we watched was the toon being
dissolved in the paint thinner in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and the
skeleton that popped out in the beginning of Indian Jones.
(I'm just picking out the unusual stuff we watched. She also watched a
lot of more typical 3 yo stuff. ;-)
You can't know what will bother a particular child. Instead of
protecting them from everything, be attentive, be helpful, use your
knowledge and ability to search for information to help them find what
they like and avoid what they don't like.
Joyce
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> I remember when I was younger, there were scenes from The Wizard ofI was with you until the end :-) You were looking at your daughter.
> Oz that scared me. After she watched the classic movie version
> tonight, she said she wasn't scared at all. She's 3 years and 2
> months old. Maybe she didn't understand it? She says Wicked Witch is
> her friend. I'm thinking it's not kind for her to see the movie
> version of The Wizard of Oz. Any thoughts would be appreciated
Paying attention to her reactions to help guide you on what else she
might like. Then at the end you're looking at her through you-colored
glasses and "what you're supposed to see in 3 yos" glasses.
Rather than thinking in terms of protecting her from what she
"shouldn't" see, help her avoid what *she* doesn't want to see. Sure
seems like she enjoys Wizard of Oz! And help her with skills and
strategies to avoid the parts that she doesn't, like covering her eyes
or ears, muting, fast forwarding, skipping scenes, watching during the
day, stopping when she wants to, watching Making Of documentaries.
So kids are fine with bloody fight scenes but cringe at adults yelling
at kids. Each child is unique. There is no one size fits all 3-yos on
what they will like and what they won't like. When Kat was 3 we
watched the Seven Samurai. It's black and white. It's in Japanese so I
read the whole thing to her. It's 3.5 hours long and took us 2 or 3
days to watch it. I believe she was also 3 when she was enthralled by
Dances with Wolves, also over 3 hours. And she listened enraptured to
Red Raptor on a long trip, which is an adult novel about a Utah Raptor.
What bothered her in all the movies we watched was the toon being
dissolved in the paint thinner in Who Framed Roger Rabbit and the
skeleton that popped out in the beginning of Indian Jones.
(I'm just picking out the unusual stuff we watched. She also watched a
lot of more typical 3 yo stuff. ;-)
You can't know what will bother a particular child. Instead of
protecting them from everything, be attentive, be helpful, use your
knowledge and ability to search for information to help them find what
they like and avoid what they don't like.
Joyce
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Sandra Dodd
-=-I remember when I was younger, there were scenes from The Wizard of Oz that scared me. After she watched the classic movie version tonight, she said she wasn't scared at all. She's 3 years and 2 months old. Maybe she didn't understand it? She says Wicked Witch is her friend. I'm thinking it's not kind for her to see the movie version of The Wizard of Oz. Any thoughts would be appreciated.-=-
It sounds like you would have felt better if she had been afraid.
When I was little, that movie was on TV once a year, and I watched it every year as far back as I can remember, through my teens. The mean neighbor on the bicycle scared me more than anything else. I thought the flying monkeys were great! (But I had friends who were afraid of the monkeys.)
I don't think you should worry about what she understands or doesn't. Let her experience it in her own way. That's the way all of her life will be, and needs to be--that she might not and probably can't have your responses or experiences, because her own life is a different one, and she's a different person.
Sandra
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It sounds like you would have felt better if she had been afraid.
When I was little, that movie was on TV once a year, and I watched it every year as far back as I can remember, through my teens. The mean neighbor on the bicycle scared me more than anything else. I thought the flying monkeys were great! (But I had friends who were afraid of the monkeys.)
I don't think you should worry about what she understands or doesn't. Let her experience it in her own way. That's the way all of her life will be, and needs to be--that she might not and probably can't have your responses or experiences, because her own life is a different one, and she's a different person.
Sandra
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Joyce Fetteroll
On May 7, 2011, at 9:43 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
The dog being taken away to be destroyed and the uncle saying there's
nothing we can do about it. Total powerlessness and helplessness. But
the witch was pure fantasy.
I can watch Alien, where the monster is creeping around the spaceship
ready to devour people. But I can't watch Freddie or any of those
creeper movies. Same plot but one is too close to reality and the
other is obviously fiction.
And some people will be the opposite perhaps. People are different and
what bothers them will be different.
Joyce
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> The mean neighbor on the bicycle scared me more than anything else.Oh, yes. And her actions felt like they could happen to me, to anyone.
The dog being taken away to be destroyed and the uncle saying there's
nothing we can do about it. Total powerlessness and helplessness. But
the witch was pure fantasy.
I can watch Alien, where the monster is creeping around the spaceship
ready to devour people. But I can't watch Freddie or any of those
creeper movies. Same plot but one is too close to reality and the
other is obviously fiction.
And some people will be the opposite perhaps. People are different and
what bothers them will be different.
Joyce
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Marina DeLuca-Howard
Definitely watch your child. Things expert rate as age appropriate are only
a guideline. My experience is that kids are scared of real life
possibilities, especially being alone or hurt.
My eldest Rowan(now fifteen) was traumatised and could not sit through Lion
King at age three. The other three year olds who were frightened of lots of
other things seemed fine with it. The dad at the party(it was a b-day
party) expressed outright disbelief--to him Rowan was a "real boy" who
seemed completely fearless going on slides and trying new foods/experiences
with less resistance than his daughter. I took Rowan home as this was a
neighbour and out of earshot of this guys commentary. He was always rating
the kids which made me uncomfortable and I always tactfully tried to diffuse
those situations.
And the man was correct too. Rowan was fine with animatronix dinos that
roared or large-screen scary creatures at the museum which seemed to scare
kids and expressed curiosity in the "bat cave" at a museum. A long scary
tunnel with bats which many a child left in tears. He watched documentaries
on dinosaurs.
The Lion King had him bawling as soon as the dad died. He ran out of the
birthday party and spent the rest of the weekend clinging to John(his dad).
Same thing with Bambi by the way. Although he watched more adult movies
with people chasing each other with guns just fine. A lot of the movies
that set up families like Disney and then destroyed them just scared the
pants out of my three boys. They could handle Jurassic Park before they
could handle some of the made for kids movies.
With three year old themes are important. Separation from the aunt and
uncle was scarier for my kids than any of the other issues in the wizard of
Oz. Crispin once vomited at a drop-in play group because a group of people
obfuscated his line of vision. He could hear my voice but my the time I
wandered between the fifteen or so people to reach him he was sobbing. The
other mothers could not believe my adventurous climbing toddler who seemed
so independent was so upset--they were sure he was sick.
Its worth thinking about how some people hate "sappy" movies--perhaps its
the emotional manipulation and tragedy that is too scary or to real to life?
Marina
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a guideline. My experience is that kids are scared of real life
possibilities, especially being alone or hurt.
My eldest Rowan(now fifteen) was traumatised and could not sit through Lion
King at age three. The other three year olds who were frightened of lots of
other things seemed fine with it. The dad at the party(it was a b-day
party) expressed outright disbelief--to him Rowan was a "real boy" who
seemed completely fearless going on slides and trying new foods/experiences
with less resistance than his daughter. I took Rowan home as this was a
neighbour and out of earshot of this guys commentary. He was always rating
the kids which made me uncomfortable and I always tactfully tried to diffuse
those situations.
And the man was correct too. Rowan was fine with animatronix dinos that
roared or large-screen scary creatures at the museum which seemed to scare
kids and expressed curiosity in the "bat cave" at a museum. A long scary
tunnel with bats which many a child left in tears. He watched documentaries
on dinosaurs.
The Lion King had him bawling as soon as the dad died. He ran out of the
birthday party and spent the rest of the weekend clinging to John(his dad).
Same thing with Bambi by the way. Although he watched more adult movies
with people chasing each other with guns just fine. A lot of the movies
that set up families like Disney and then destroyed them just scared the
pants out of my three boys. They could handle Jurassic Park before they
could handle some of the made for kids movies.
With three year old themes are important. Separation from the aunt and
uncle was scarier for my kids than any of the other issues in the wizard of
Oz. Crispin once vomited at a drop-in play group because a group of people
obfuscated his line of vision. He could hear my voice but my the time I
wandered between the fifteen or so people to reach him he was sobbing. The
other mothers could not believe my adventurous climbing toddler who seemed
so independent was so upset--they were sure he was sick.
Its worth thinking about how some people hate "sappy" movies--perhaps its
the emotional manipulation and tragedy that is too scary or to real to life?
Marina
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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
My daughter lonves the Wizard of Oz and she first saw it at 3. I do not find it scary at all , neither doe she.
It sounds like you want to decide for her what *she* finds scary.
Alex Polikowsky
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It sounds like you want to decide for her what *she* finds scary.
Alex Polikowsky
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mkangj
> It sounds like you want to decide for her what *she* finds scary.No, I was concerned because I had mentioned to other moms when my daughter brought up the wicked witch and they asked if we had seen the movie and I said only bits and pieces and they mentioned it was scary for them to watch - then I remembered there were certain parts that were scary for me to watch so I guess I was concerned that I was exposing my daughter to something that wasn't kind to her.
>
It is helpful for me to remember she has her own experiences and she will figure out what is scary for her and what is not. I guess I cannot protect her from what might be scary because what is scary changes and everyone is scared by different things. I remember when I was younger some things scared me at the time and then once I understood them, they no longer did. So when we see movies, just take her lead and mention to her if she gets scared, she can cover her eyes or hug me? Seeing movies is relatively new to us because she has only recently been interested.
mkangj
I guess it's also unkind to not have her see things because of my own concerns/fears.
She's also been interested in dinosaurs and likes to watch dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs. There are some short BBC docudramas on Youtube where one dinosaur tries to attack another. My husband reminded me that our daughter has seen our cat eat a mouse - our cat is an outdoor cat and during the spring and fall months, our cat catches rodents with glee.
All the best,
M.J.
She's also been interested in dinosaurs and likes to watch dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs. There are some short BBC docudramas on Youtube where one dinosaur tries to attack another. My husband reminded me that our daughter has seen our cat eat a mouse - our cat is an outdoor cat and during the spring and fall months, our cat catches rodents with glee.
All the best,
M.J.
Sandra Dodd
-=-No, I was concerned because I had mentioned to other moms when my daughter brought up the wicked witch and they asked if we had seen the movie and I said only bits and pieces and they mentioned it was scary for them to watch - then I remembered there were certain parts that were scary for me to watch so I guess I was concerned that I was exposing my daughter to something that wasn't kind to her. -=-
I didn't realize you weren't watching it with her. That's not a big deal, but I had pictured her watching it with a parent or two.
-=- So when we see movies, just take her lead and mention to her if she gets scared, she can cover her eyes or hug me? -=-
Do you really need to tell her to cover her eyes? Doesn't she know how to close them or look away?
And can she really hug you if you're not there?
Give her the remote control and tell her if it gets scary to turn it off, or mute it. Sometimes "mute" is enough. Often the scariness is created by the soundtrack.
Sandra
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I didn't realize you weren't watching it with her. That's not a big deal, but I had pictured her watching it with a parent or two.
-=- So when we see movies, just take her lead and mention to her if she gets scared, she can cover her eyes or hug me? -=-
Do you really need to tell her to cover her eyes? Doesn't she know how to close them or look away?
And can she really hug you if you're not there?
Give her the remote control and tell her if it gets scary to turn it off, or mute it. Sometimes "mute" is enough. Often the scariness is created by the soundtrack.
Sandra
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mkangj
> I didn't realize you weren't watching it with her. That's not a big deal, but I had pictured her watching it with a parent or two.My husband was watching with her :)
And yes, she knows how to pause - we watch DVDS on our computers. Thank you for the feedback.
Sandra Dodd
-=-She's also been interested in dinosaurs and likes to watch dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs-=-
She might like the Land Before Time movies. They're a little scary, but they have "little kid" dinosaurs, and adventures, and songs.
Sandra
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She might like the Land Before Time movies. They're a little scary, but they have "little kid" dinosaurs, and adventures, and songs.
Sandra
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Rinelle
> It is helpful for me to remember she has her own experiences and she willMy daughter is another one who will happily watch Jurassic Park, but she was
> figure out what is scary for her and what is
> not. I guess I cannot protect her from what might be scary because what is
> scary changes and everyone is scared by > different things. I remember
> when I was younger some things scared me at the time and then once I
> understood them,
> they no longer did. So when we see movies, just take her lead and mention
> to her if she gets scared, she can cover
> her eyes or hug me? Seeing movies is relatively new to us because she has
> only recently been interested.
scared of Cars, and wanted to turn it off. For her, it's the suspense, not
what is happening, the not knowing. If the movie is relatively
straightforward with little foreshadowing, then it's better than newer
movies that really try to create that anticipation of something bad about to
happen.
It's also really interesting to note that at 3, she would happily watch most
Disney movies: The Lion King, Finding Nemo etc etc, but once she hit 5 or
so, she suddenly didn't want to watch them anymore. I suspect that as she
got older, she had more awareness of what was happening, and bits she didn't
pay much attention to before suddenly made sense, and were scary. Be
prepared for what scares her, and what she wants to watch, to change.
Tamara
Sandra Dodd
-=-
It's also really interesting to note that at 3, she would happily watch most
Disney movies: The Lion King, Finding Nemo etc etc, but once she hit 5 or
so, she suddenly didn't want to watch them anymore. I suspect that as she
got older, she had more awareness of what was happening, and bits she didn't
pay much attention to before suddenly made sense, and were scary. Be
prepared for what scares her, and what she wants to watch, to change.-=-
That happens with little kids and playground slides and swings sometimes. They might do something happily until they get old enough to see the danger and become fearful, and then they stop doing it.
It happens with grammar, too. :-) They will say "mans" (for men) and "mouses" (for mice) even though they might have known the traditional/correct form. When they learn that there are grammar formation rules, they start applying them even to exceptions for a while.
Sandra
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It's also really interesting to note that at 3, she would happily watch most
Disney movies: The Lion King, Finding Nemo etc etc, but once she hit 5 or
so, she suddenly didn't want to watch them anymore. I suspect that as she
got older, she had more awareness of what was happening, and bits she didn't
pay much attention to before suddenly made sense, and were scary. Be
prepared for what scares her, and what she wants to watch, to change.-=-
That happens with little kids and playground slides and swings sometimes. They might do something happily until they get old enough to see the danger and become fearful, and then they stop doing it.
It happens with grammar, too. :-) They will say "mans" (for men) and "mouses" (for mice) even though they might have known the traditional/correct form. When they learn that there are grammar formation rules, they start applying them even to exceptions for a while.
Sandra
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Ed Wendell
Zachariah loved water parks and water slides when he was little - showed no fear at all. Then one summer (I'm thinking around age 10) we went and he absolutely refused to do much and did not really enjoy himself at all. All that change over one fall/winter/spring. ;)
Lisa W.
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Lisa W.
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Lisa E Biesemeyer
" but once she hit 5 or
so, she suddenly didn't want to watch them anymore. I suspect that as she
got older, she had more awareness of what was happening, and bits she didn't
pay much attention to before suddenly made sense, and were scary."
Yes. This is happening more and more as my daughter, Rowan, gets closer to
turning 5yo in June. She enjoys scary movies and shows, and seems to like the
feeling of being scared. However, parts of shows and movies that used to be no
big deal are now making stronger impressions.
The other day she was watching an episode of Backyardigans, which she typically
has not categorized as scary, and there was a scene with the hippo character as
a green colored pirate ghost. For some reason, this image stuck with her for
days. She would come running in from outside, the playroom, her bedroom, saying
that she keeps seeing the green pirate ghost. She was acting afraid in a
different, more lasting way than she has before. She seemed to remember the
image more vividly and for a longer time. It's been about a week or so since we
watched that particular episode; she has only stopped mentioning it within the
last couple of days.
Rowan started watching shows and movies around 2yo. Since, she has seen The
Wizard of Oz, every Barbie and Disney princess movie (all quite frightening to
me in different ways), and a handful of other scary-ish movies and lots of
scary-ish shows. She has asked to watch a scary show almost daily for as long as
I can remember, and she has very often watched the scary scene in a show
repeatedly. I am curious if this will change. I'm excited to find out.
Lisa B
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so, she suddenly didn't want to watch them anymore. I suspect that as she
got older, she had more awareness of what was happening, and bits she didn't
pay much attention to before suddenly made sense, and were scary."
Yes. This is happening more and more as my daughter, Rowan, gets closer to
turning 5yo in June. She enjoys scary movies and shows, and seems to like the
feeling of being scared. However, parts of shows and movies that used to be no
big deal are now making stronger impressions.
The other day she was watching an episode of Backyardigans, which she typically
has not categorized as scary, and there was a scene with the hippo character as
a green colored pirate ghost. For some reason, this image stuck with her for
days. She would come running in from outside, the playroom, her bedroom, saying
that she keeps seeing the green pirate ghost. She was acting afraid in a
different, more lasting way than she has before. She seemed to remember the
image more vividly and for a longer time. It's been about a week or so since we
watched that particular episode; she has only stopped mentioning it within the
last couple of days.
Rowan started watching shows and movies around 2yo. Since, she has seen The
Wizard of Oz, every Barbie and Disney princess movie (all quite frightening to
me in different ways), and a handful of other scary-ish movies and lots of
scary-ish shows. She has asked to watch a scary show almost daily for as long as
I can remember, and she has very often watched the scary scene in a show
repeatedly. I am curious if this will change. I'm excited to find out.
Lisa B
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aldq75
-=- but once she hit 5 or so, she suddenly didn't want to watch them anymore. I suspect that as she got older, she had more awareness of what was happening, and bits she didn't pay much attention to before suddenly made sense, and were scary. -=-
My girls watched A Bug's Life several times when they were toddlers (under age four). We went a year or so without watching it. When they saw it after that break, they told me it seemed like a totally new movie and that it was full of good jokes they didn't remember. They laughed and laughed and retold parts to me the next day and laughed some more :)
Andrea Q
My girls watched A Bug's Life several times when they were toddlers (under age four). We went a year or so without watching it. When they saw it after that break, they told me it seemed like a totally new movie and that it was full of good jokes they didn't remember. They laughed and laughed and retold parts to me the next day and laughed some more :)
Andrea Q
Krisula Moyer
>>-=-She's also been interested in dinosaurs and likes to watch dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs-=-She might like the Land Before Time movies. They're a little scary, but they have "little kid" dinosaurs, and adventures, and songs.
Sandra<<
Actually, Land before time was one movie Trayton was traumatized by at age 3. He used to sob and sob over the idea that the mother dinosaur had died and left her little one alone in the world. He wanted to watch it again and again but always curled up in my lap and cried when the mother appears to the little dinosaur. So sad. The movie lived at grandma's house so we only watched it when we were visiting and I had my mom put it up and away if he was there without me because I knew he'd want me alot while watching it.
Krisula
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Sandra Dodd
-=-Actually, Land before time was one movie Trayton was traumatized by at age 3. He used to sob and sob over the idea that the mother dinosaur had died and left her little one alone in the world. -=-
Kirby was great with Land Before Time, but he was really afraid of the Disney Singalong "Pirates of the Caribbean" song. :-)
Sandra
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Kirby was great with Land Before Time, but he was really afraid of the Disney Singalong "Pirates of the Caribbean" song. :-)
Sandra
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Robin Bentley
I recommend the sequel movies. The director's vision was a whole lot
darker in that initial movie than almost everything that came after.
The rest are a lot lighter (if not bordering on insipid, by the end).
And insipid is in the eye of the beholder, too <g>.
Robin B.
darker in that initial movie than almost everything that came after.
The rest are a lot lighter (if not bordering on insipid, by the end).
And insipid is in the eye of the beholder, too <g>.
Robin B.
>
> Actually, Land before time was one movie Trayton was traumatized by
> at age 3. He used to sob and sob over the idea that the mother
> dinosaur had died and left her little one alone in the world. He
> wanted to watch it again and again but always curled up in my lap
> and cried when the mother appears to the little dinosaur. So sad.
> The movie lived at grandma's house so we only watched it when we
> were visiting and I had my mom put it up and away if he was there
> without me because I knew he'd want me alot while watching it.
>
dezignarob
If the Wicked Witch is her friend, she might enjoy Wicked. Some of the songs are on the website. http://www.wickedthemusical.com/
Robyn Coburn
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
Robyn Coburn
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com