How possible is it?
Michal
To change the flow in our home. I am finding the more I have read about the philosophy behind unschooling, that my husband and I have been pretty uptight parents. I have tried to follow the read, watch, wait rule here, and have read a lot on this board and subject since last summer. I see ways in which our children act out in response. Nothing major, but they are pretty little still at 8,7, and 5. I really don't want to continue on this road of arbitrary rules, and kids fighting against them. I don't think the kid's response is wrong. It is good they are fighting against some of what we have thrown their way. If we make a big change in terms of rules and such, I know they will go whole hog, because of the ways they have been restricted. Is there a way to minimize that, or should I even try? Will it even out eventually? I am nervous, but I do know we are not setting them up for success in life the way we are doing things now. I think my husband will be on board for a big change, but I do know we are both going to bristle when things that were rules before, are "broken". I guess that is our problem :) I guess my big question, is there still hope? (I think there is). Just feeling intimidated by the enormity of completely changing our ways around here. Any advice will be much appreciated.
Sandra Dodd
-=- I have tried to follow the read, watch, wait rule here-=-
It's not a rule. :-)
And you forgot the most important part--the try a little.
If you read about riding a bike, and watch people ride bikes, and wait, how possible will it be to ride a bike?
Impossible.
You must get on the bike and try it. Eventually (sometimes sooner than later) you'll be riding it, but not if you never get on the bike.
http://sandradodd.com/gradualchange
There are ideas there for gradual change.
http://sandradodd.com/rules
Please do read there about principles. If you have arbitrary rules (about bed and food, I'm guessing, for starters), instead of looking at the clock, think about the purposes of eating and sleeping.
http://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com/2011/05/its-time-to-pay-attention-to-your-child.html
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It's not a rule. :-)
And you forgot the most important part--the try a little.
If you read about riding a bike, and watch people ride bikes, and wait, how possible will it be to ride a bike?
Impossible.
You must get on the bike and try it. Eventually (sometimes sooner than later) you'll be riding it, but not if you never get on the bike.
http://sandradodd.com/gradualchange
There are ideas there for gradual change.
http://sandradodd.com/rules
Please do read there about principles. If you have arbitrary rules (about bed and food, I'm guessing, for starters), instead of looking at the clock, think about the purposes of eating and sleeping.
http://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com/2011/05/its-time-to-pay-attention-to-your-child.html
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
plaidpanties666
"Michal" <art_alexakis78@...> wrote:
Start with small changes, say yes more rather than dumping the rules all at once. Also, start articulating reasons behind the rules and being open to discussion of those reasons. Don't ride over "But mom!" with "No" right away, stop and listen to their reasoning and see if there's a way to come to an agreement.
It would help to have an example, so if you can post a sample of one rule you're thinking of getting rid of, people can help you think it through a bit.
---Meredith
>If we make a big change in terms of rules and such, I know they will go whole hog, because of the ways they have been restricted. Is there a way to minimize that, or should I even try?*****************
Start with small changes, say yes more rather than dumping the rules all at once. Also, start articulating reasons behind the rules and being open to discussion of those reasons. Don't ride over "But mom!" with "No" right away, stop and listen to their reasoning and see if there's a way to come to an agreement.
It would help to have an example, so if you can post a sample of one rule you're thinking of getting rid of, people can help you think it through a bit.
---Meredith