Mary Hickcox

"If a mother doesn't side with her own child against other species, some instinct is being ignored."
Sandra, the thing is that it was never a comparison at all.  I was simply saying it was sad and we loved the chick, it was a life to us no less important then any other species and it made us sad.  It had no comparison to my son at all whom I adore and would do anything for.  Of course I love him more and value his life more.  You are reading into it the wrong way.  I apologize if my wording made it seem that way.

Mary mama to Dylan (11), Colin (7) and Theo (3)
"Be who you want your children to be."    Unknown   "Each morning we are born again.  What we do today is what matters most."    Buddha

"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
    Denis Diderot






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joyce Fetteroll

On Mar 21, 2011, at 12:00 AM, Mary Hickcox wrote:

> Of course I love him more and value his life more.

Sandra's point, *the* relationship building point, is did your son
believe that in the moments when you were addressing the chick and the
cat with him?

What's important isn't what Sandra's reading *into* it. What's
important is what it looks and feels like from outside of you. Intent
doesn't change what actions feel like to the other person. Which is
why it's important that people not put a positive spin on a mom's
actions and assume good intent. She needs to see what the child is
experiencing.

Joyce

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

amylizkid1

While growing up, when the cat (my cat, whom I adored) would get out, my Mom would react so strongly that I was sure she loved the cat more than she loved me. So much so that I ran away from home at 8 years old. (Only for a few hours) And that was just over the cat being outside. What you intend to say isn't as important as how your reaction is perceived. You might not make the comparison, but your son just might.

Amy


--- In [email protected], Mary Hickcox <disser420@...> wrote:
>
> "If a mother doesn't side with her own child against other species, some instinct is being ignored."
> Sandra, the thing is that it was never a comparison at all.  I was simply saying it was sad and we loved the chick, it was a life to us no less important then any other species and it made us sad.  It had no comparison to my son at all whom I adore and would do anything for.  Of course I love him more and value his life more.  You are reading into it the wrong way.  I apologize if my wording made it seem that way.
>
> Mary mama to Dylan (11), Colin (7) and Theo (3)
> "Be who you want your children to be."    Unknown   "Each morning we are born again.  What we do today is what matters most."    Buddha
>
> "Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
>     Denis Diderot
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>