lalow

My 9 year old son has been playing alot of Halo Reach on Xbox live lately. My husband does play Halo with him, he likes video games himself and actually the Xbox was his Christmas present. James has been building alot on Halo, discussing strategies, playing, interacting, negotiating, sharing with his brother, etc.. Anyway, he has some money saved up and wants to buy Blacks Ops but my husband feels he shouldnt buy it. Not sure what his reasons are, he hasnt really shared them. But when James asked about buying it and Dead Zone he said, he didnt think he needed those games. I didnt really say much at the time as I felt I should discuss it with dh without James there. How would you approach a subject like without putting him on the defensive? My husband is a pretty easy guy to talk to and leaves most descisions about the kids up to me, but when he does get involved in things like this, he does just say no without any clear reason to me or just based on things like, kids his age shouldnt be playing or watching that. For example he lets the kids watch all kinds of shows like MAD t.v and the simpsons but draws a line at the Family Guy. So they are obsessed with wanting to watch it. When I have asked him in the past to think about it from another perspective, like he was making it seem more appealing by making it forbidden, he didnt think that mattered.

wtexans

===Anyway, he has some money saved up and wants to buy Blacks Ops but my husband feels he shouldnt buy it. Not sure what his reasons are, he hasnt really shared them. But when James asked about buying it and Dead Zone he said, he didnt think he needed those games. I didnt really say much at the time as I felt I should discuss it with dh without James there. How would you approach a subject like without putting him on the defensive?===

What about broaching it in writing, either by email (if he uses email) or in a written note? My hubby and I tend to do that with each other if it's something the recipient will likely need to think about before a discussion can really happen.

You could let your hubby know that you'd like to find a way to support your son in his interest in those games, but you also want to respect his (your husband's) concerns about those games.

If your husband doesn't have firsthand experience with Black Ops or Dead Rising (is it Dead Rising rather than Dead Zone?), maybe he'd consider watching some play-throughs on YouTube. (You could find the play-throughs and pass along the URLs to him.)

Or maybe he'd be open to renting the games and trying them out himself, to get a firsthand look at them.

He may still be opposed to your son playing those games, but he might be able to offer more specific concerns. Then you can gather up stories and articles specific to those concerns if you think he'd be open to reconsidering his stance about those games.

If you think he'd be receptive to the question, you could ask what he feels is the worst thing that might happen if your son plays Black Ops and Dead Rising (I don't mean that sarcastically, but to ask it in caring way). Sometimes talking about whatever the fear or concern may be helps it be less big, and helps it be easier to take that leap of faith of letting our kids try what they're interested in trying.

How on-board is your husband with unschooling? It might be helpful if he could be around other unschooling dads at a conference. I know several folks on the list have said their husbands became more comfortable with unschooling after talking with and being around experienced unschooling dads.

Glenda