Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch
shirarocklin
--- In the "Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch" model, it sounds like you're wanting to read a lot, while they're in classes. I could be wrong, but if your kid are thinking in ANY way that those classes are the reason they're learning, and those things couldn't have been gathered other ways, that could be a problem. ---
What Sandra wrote above made me recall some stuff from the beginning of when I was learning about unschooling. I think it might be helpful, for others, to write about it. When I first came across Sandra's website, I was very engrossed with it. I think I sent a private email to Sandra with some questions, and then she directed me to this list for the continued discussion about those questions. In any case, I was very quickly drawn in, and the serious reading began. I joined several unschooling yahoo lists... and between those and the various website resources, I could have spent hours reading each day. And it became overwhelming to hold all of this new information in my head, and the result was that I lost sight of how to practice what I was reading, and lost sight of my own kid at times.
So, I didn't do the 'read a little' part so well. I read a lot (thats my nature). After a while, I realized that my relationship with Temima, then 2 or 3, was suffering because of the time I was spending engrossed with the reading. And I was getting fustrated because I couldn't do what I was reading... but also she was fustrated because I wouldn't be with her more of our time. And after a short while, I realized I should read less. So I decided which lists I thought were the most helpful (this one won out!! Unschooling Basics was alright, but didn't work for me), and I stopped reading the others. I unsigned from those a bit later. And then I stopped even reading every thread on this list. These days, I read something if it's title catches my eye.
For a while after that, I didn't read much at all. I just focused on my time with Temima. I found myself creating answers in my head to my questions (right or wrong) based on what I thought the list might answer those questions. That was helpful, when it was helpful. Sometimes I didn't come up with great stuff... but it helped me to problem solve on my own for a while. So this was the first 'try a little' phase... and I saw big changes. It was great. I continued to NOT read this list or other resources after that, letting the nice changes in our relationship sink in and find patterns. I guess that was the first 'wait a while.'
And while I was waiting a while, I slowed down (in my mind) a bit, and I think that was the first 'watch' period. Instead of just doing, and developing our relationship and my skills, I actively watched, sought out patterns and emotions and things I can't even describe. I guess I'd compare it to watching your husband or baby sleep, getting to know the little sounds and movements (or big snores). I watched the nuances of our relationship, in our day-to-day lives, and tweaked what was already working pretty well. While I was watching, I got to know my daughter better, and because of that, I could see where I wasn't doing my best...
And so I'd go back and read a little, post a question here, follow the links to Sandra's a Joy's pages, etc. 'Read a little.' And then I'd try out what I'd read, 'try a little,' 'wait a while' and 'watch.' Repeat, repeat, repeat.
And now its sort of something that just happens. The waiting and watching have grown, the try a little has slowed down, the read a little has found its place (research into specific difficulties, rather than endless browsing of anything I can find).
So, in case anyone is curious about how that process might look... that's how its gone for me so far.
Shira Rocklin
What Sandra wrote above made me recall some stuff from the beginning of when I was learning about unschooling. I think it might be helpful, for others, to write about it. When I first came across Sandra's website, I was very engrossed with it. I think I sent a private email to Sandra with some questions, and then she directed me to this list for the continued discussion about those questions. In any case, I was very quickly drawn in, and the serious reading began. I joined several unschooling yahoo lists... and between those and the various website resources, I could have spent hours reading each day. And it became overwhelming to hold all of this new information in my head, and the result was that I lost sight of how to practice what I was reading, and lost sight of my own kid at times.
So, I didn't do the 'read a little' part so well. I read a lot (thats my nature). After a while, I realized that my relationship with Temima, then 2 or 3, was suffering because of the time I was spending engrossed with the reading. And I was getting fustrated because I couldn't do what I was reading... but also she was fustrated because I wouldn't be with her more of our time. And after a short while, I realized I should read less. So I decided which lists I thought were the most helpful (this one won out!! Unschooling Basics was alright, but didn't work for me), and I stopped reading the others. I unsigned from those a bit later. And then I stopped even reading every thread on this list. These days, I read something if it's title catches my eye.
For a while after that, I didn't read much at all. I just focused on my time with Temima. I found myself creating answers in my head to my questions (right or wrong) based on what I thought the list might answer those questions. That was helpful, when it was helpful. Sometimes I didn't come up with great stuff... but it helped me to problem solve on my own for a while. So this was the first 'try a little' phase... and I saw big changes. It was great. I continued to NOT read this list or other resources after that, letting the nice changes in our relationship sink in and find patterns. I guess that was the first 'wait a while.'
And while I was waiting a while, I slowed down (in my mind) a bit, and I think that was the first 'watch' period. Instead of just doing, and developing our relationship and my skills, I actively watched, sought out patterns and emotions and things I can't even describe. I guess I'd compare it to watching your husband or baby sleep, getting to know the little sounds and movements (or big snores). I watched the nuances of our relationship, in our day-to-day lives, and tweaked what was already working pretty well. While I was watching, I got to know my daughter better, and because of that, I could see where I wasn't doing my best...
And so I'd go back and read a little, post a question here, follow the links to Sandra's a Joy's pages, etc. 'Read a little.' And then I'd try out what I'd read, 'try a little,' 'wait a while' and 'watch.' Repeat, repeat, repeat.
And now its sort of something that just happens. The waiting and watching have grown, the try a little has slowed down, the read a little has found its place (research into specific difficulties, rather than endless browsing of anything I can find).
So, in case anyone is curious about how that process might look... that's how its gone for me so far.
Shira Rocklin
JenniferW
--- In [email protected], "shirarocklin" <shirarocklin@...> wrote:
And now I'm about to go "no mail" on several lists (except this one). Thank you so much for writing about this.
Jennifer
>Thank you Shira! This is exactly what I needed to hear right now. I'm doing just what you did, reading so much that I not only have no time left to put into practice any of what I'm reading, but I've been overwhelming myself with the task of putting it ALL into practice at once! I hadn't really seen that before. I'd read and get all these great ideas, then get off the computer and look around and see all the things that aren't the way I want them to be and sometimes the sadness overtakes me.
> --- In the "Read a little, try a little, wait a while, watch" model, it sounds like you're wanting to read a lot, while they're in classes. I could be wrong, but if your kid are thinking in ANY way that those classes are the reason they're learning, and those things couldn't have been gathered other ways, that could be a problem. ---
>
>> What Sandra wrote above made me recall some stuff from the beginning of when I was learning about unschooling. I think it might be helpful, for others, to write about it. <<
And now I'm about to go "no mail" on several lists (except this one). Thank you so much for writing about this.
Jennifer
k
I was reading about unschooling from the time Karl was a newborn. I
was NAK (nursing at the keyboard). The good thing is since it was
annoying to type "one-handedly" I would read more than I replied.
I also took mini-vacations from reading and posting on any list
because Karl needed (and still needs a good bit of) undivided
attention. At first, I tried to catch up after I came back by reading
all that had transpired since the last time I had been online. It was
ok but not as good had I just read the newest stuff.
First: I don't think I took enough mini-vacations.
Second: Almost everything you can find to read on this and other
unschooling lists comes up repeatedly. Don't worry about missing
things or catching up. Whatever it was will come up again. More than
likely.
~Katherine
was NAK (nursing at the keyboard). The good thing is since it was
annoying to type "one-handedly" I would read more than I replied.
I also took mini-vacations from reading and posting on any list
because Karl needed (and still needs a good bit of) undivided
attention. At first, I tried to catch up after I came back by reading
all that had transpired since the last time I had been online. It was
ok but not as good had I just read the newest stuff.
First: I don't think I took enough mini-vacations.
Second: Almost everything you can find to read on this and other
unschooling lists comes up repeatedly. Don't worry about missing
things or catching up. Whatever it was will come up again. More than
likely.
~Katherine