Re: [AlwaysLearning] Offering ideas?
Sandra Dodd
-=- This usually goes well for a long time, but at some point they
start arguing most days. At that point I usually step in and I make
suggestions. We read together, do a project or what have you. They all
seem game. My activities still seem very...schooly-=-
I would recommend being with them variously and individually, more
than leaving them all as a group until they argue, and then doing
something with all three. Let each of them have time with you. Or if
you're doing something with one child and another wants to be
involved, maybe just make it clear that it's the first child's
project, and the other can be secondary, but can't take it over.
Then later, if one of them seems frustrated or bored, you could do
something with him.
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
start arguing most days. At that point I usually step in and I make
suggestions. We read together, do a project or what have you. They all
seem game. My activities still seem very...schooly-=-
I would recommend being with them variously and individually, more
than leaving them all as a group until they argue, and then doing
something with all three. Let each of them have time with you. Or if
you're doing something with one child and another wants to be
involved, maybe just make it clear that it's the first child's
project, and the other can be secondary, but can't take it over.
Then later, if one of them seems frustrated or bored, you could do
something with him.
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michal
How much do all of you offer in terms of ideas with your kids during the day? I have 3 energetic boys, 8, 7, and 4. A good chunk of the day is peaceful. They draw, play games, look at and read books, watch tv, make lego creations, and so on. They dig dirt outside :). This usually goes well for a long time, but at some point they start arguing most days. At that point I usually step in and I make suggestions. We read together, do a project or what have you. They all seem game. My activities still seem very...schooly, for lack of a better word. Unit study type things. I like doing them, and they seem eager to do them with me. Is this taking the ball out of their court too much?
wtexans
===This usually goes well for a long time, but at some point they start arguing most days. At that point I usually step in and I make suggestions.===
Be more involved with them from the get-go. All of the things you mentioned they currently do without you, get involved in doing those things *with* them. Not from a schooly, "let's accomplish this" perspective, but just enjoy their company and let them direct the time together.
Ask if you can join in playing legos. Ask if you can draw alongside them. Ask if you can sit or lay by them and read your book while they read theirs. Watch tv with them -- actively watch what they're watching rather than doing something else while they watch. Go dig in the dirt with them; take a bucket or pan of water and make mud, then make mud pies or have mud fights.
Surprise them by making a fort inside the house, or set up a tent in your backyard. Set up a scavenger hunt for them. Have an Easter Egg hunt with plastic eggs (although we often hid toy cars or other toys instead of plastic eggs). Tell them you're going to hide and ask them to find you. Ask them if they want to open a pretend store in their room (or the living room or wherever) - you can alternate being the store owner and the customer.
The biggest thing is to be proactive rather than reactive.
While you're in the initial stages of deschooling, asking to join in in what they're doing can be a way to do things with them in a way that allows them to direct what happens, which can, in turn, help you reign in the desire to steer things towards schooliness.
===My activities still seem very...schooly, for lack of a better word. Unit study type things. I like doing them, and they seem eager to do them with me.===
Maybe their eagerness is more because you're doing something with them and what you're doing (unit study type stuff) is exciting to you so you're more "into" it than you are in doing their kind of stuff with them.
If you like unit study type stuff, do that by yourself when they're otherwise happily occupied. There's no reason you can't do something you enjoy, but if it's schooly and you're truly wanting to unschool then it's not something you want to focus on when you're spending time with your boys.
The things that feel schooly to you, stop doing them! Deschooling can't happen if you're still bringing schooly activities into your lives.
Join in the activities your boys are doing, and, while playing with them, every single time you feel a schooly thought enter your head, stop that thought. The more often you do it, the more automatic it becomes, the less often it will happen.
Glenda
Be more involved with them from the get-go. All of the things you mentioned they currently do without you, get involved in doing those things *with* them. Not from a schooly, "let's accomplish this" perspective, but just enjoy their company and let them direct the time together.
Ask if you can join in playing legos. Ask if you can draw alongside them. Ask if you can sit or lay by them and read your book while they read theirs. Watch tv with them -- actively watch what they're watching rather than doing something else while they watch. Go dig in the dirt with them; take a bucket or pan of water and make mud, then make mud pies or have mud fights.
Surprise them by making a fort inside the house, or set up a tent in your backyard. Set up a scavenger hunt for them. Have an Easter Egg hunt with plastic eggs (although we often hid toy cars or other toys instead of plastic eggs). Tell them you're going to hide and ask them to find you. Ask them if they want to open a pretend store in their room (or the living room or wherever) - you can alternate being the store owner and the customer.
The biggest thing is to be proactive rather than reactive.
While you're in the initial stages of deschooling, asking to join in in what they're doing can be a way to do things with them in a way that allows them to direct what happens, which can, in turn, help you reign in the desire to steer things towards schooliness.
===My activities still seem very...schooly, for lack of a better word. Unit study type things. I like doing them, and they seem eager to do them with me.===
Maybe their eagerness is more because you're doing something with them and what you're doing (unit study type stuff) is exciting to you so you're more "into" it than you are in doing their kind of stuff with them.
If you like unit study type stuff, do that by yourself when they're otherwise happily occupied. There's no reason you can't do something you enjoy, but if it's schooly and you're truly wanting to unschool then it's not something you want to focus on when you're spending time with your boys.
The things that feel schooly to you, stop doing them! Deschooling can't happen if you're still bringing schooly activities into your lives.
Join in the activities your boys are doing, and, while playing with them, every single time you feel a schooly thought enter your head, stop that thought. The more often you do it, the more automatic it becomes, the less often it will happen.
Glenda
wtexans
===If you like unit study type stuff, do that by yourself when they're otherwise happily occupied. There's no reason you can't do something you enjoy, but if it's schooly and you're truly wanting to unschool then it's not something you want to focus on when you're spending time with your boys.
The things that feel schooly to you, stop doing them! Deschooling can't happen if you're still bringing schooly activities into your lives.===
Hmmm, it sounds like I contradicted myself there! Let me clarify :).
The things you're doing with your boys that feel schooly to you, stop doing those things.
If you get a big kick out of getting in-depth about one topic, pursue it for yourself. For example, something I've enjoyed recently is the topic of commercial swordfishing. It's not uncommon for me to mention tidbits of what I've been reading and watching to my hubby or son, but I don't expect them have the same amount of interest that I do. If they do, great! But I don't expect it, and I'm not disappointed if their interest is minimal.
One of my favorite unexpected benefits of unschooling is how in-depth *I* am able to get with things that catch my interest!! For my son, it's natural because that's how it's always been for him. But for me, that didn't happen during my school years, and I'm absolutely enjoying being able to do it now.
Glenda
The things that feel schooly to you, stop doing them! Deschooling can't happen if you're still bringing schooly activities into your lives.===
Hmmm, it sounds like I contradicted myself there! Let me clarify :).
The things you're doing with your boys that feel schooly to you, stop doing those things.
If you get a big kick out of getting in-depth about one topic, pursue it for yourself. For example, something I've enjoyed recently is the topic of commercial swordfishing. It's not uncommon for me to mention tidbits of what I've been reading and watching to my hubby or son, but I don't expect them have the same amount of interest that I do. If they do, great! But I don't expect it, and I'm not disappointed if their interest is minimal.
One of my favorite unexpected benefits of unschooling is how in-depth *I* am able to get with things that catch my interest!! For my son, it's natural because that's how it's always been for him. But for me, that didn't happen during my school years, and I'm absolutely enjoying being able to do it now.
Glenda
lalow
I will often just pull something out that seems like it would be fun. Sometimes, it might look like something "schooly" if you are thinking in those terms. For example, I had been saving toilet paper and paper towel rolls for awhile cause I saw an idea online somewhere of making a big skeleton out of them. It was part of an online unit study, so if someone had come in while we were doing it, or if someone visits they might think we are studying skeletons. Matter a fact yesterday, I mentioned to an aquantance that we made the skeleton and she asked if we were studying the human body this year. Any, I pull the stuff out and if someone is around they ask what I am doing and in the end at least one, if not all the kids join in for atleast part of the thing. If they dont that is ok too. I like to have some stuff like that to pull out when someone seems bored and having trouble figuring out what they would like to do.
Our skeleton man is great by the way. He is like 7 feet tall. I am thinking about painting him white today.
Our skeleton man is great by the way. He is like 7 feet tall. I am thinking about painting him white today.
k
>>> For example, something I've enjoyed recently is the topic of commercialswordfishing. It's not uncommon for me to mention tidbits of what I've been
reading and watching to my hubby or son, but I don't expect them have the
same amount of interest that I do. If they do, great! But I don't expect it,
and I'm not disappointed if their interest is minimal.<<<
One of the reasons is that culturally one may be sold on the idea of
togetherness. In the US, lots of things in the media are about family
togetherness (for instance, "A family that prays together stays together"
... that kind of thing).
I love diversity ever so much more since I got into unschooling. Our diverse
interests in this family: Karl is currently into game walkthroughs and it's
not his only interest... that's just his most obvious interest and relates
many things to gaming and game lingo and game metaphors; I've been into
health lately and am hankering for more info about telescope building since
reading about Galileo and then Herschel (whose "music led him to an interest
in mathematics and lenses, Wikipedia says), and Brian's interest is in cars,
which all by itself seems like an endless source of new information as cars,
oil both crude and synthetic, and related politics continually evolve.
>>>One of my favorite unexpected benefits of unschooling is how in-depth *I*am able to get with things that catch my interest!! For my son, it's natural
because that's how it's always been for him. But for me, that didn't happen
during my school years, and I'm absolutely enjoying being able to do it
now.<<<
Same here! Unschooling very much gave me "permission" or I gave myself the
license rather to pursue interests because of unschooling. :)
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
k
>>>One of the reasons ..... <<<Sorry about that. I didn't introduce and proofread what I wrote very well.
What I meant to say is "one of the reasons people may not develop much
enjoyment in homeschooling is because they expect to have fun that is about
togetherness when much more often it is common for unschoolers to enjoy the
joy of others in their own personal development of interests. (I hope that's
clearer than mud .. ;)... I do have a talent for mud.)
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dezignarob
==== How much do all of you offer in terms of ideas with your kids during the day? I have 3 energetic boys, 8, 7, and 4. A good chunk of the day is peaceful. They draw, play games, look at and read books, watch tv, make lego creations, and so on. They dig dirt outside :). This usually goes well for a long time, but at some point they start arguing most days. At that point I usually step in and I make suggestions. We read together, do a project or what have you. They all seem game. My activities still seem very...schooly, for lack of a better word. Unit study type things. I like doing them, and they seem eager to do them with me. Is this taking the ball out of their court too much?====
It seems a little like you are treating your kids kinda like a unit. I think some of the other posters touched on this, but I think expecting the 8 and 7 year old to have the little one of 4 part of their activities pretty much all the time, or conversely to expect the 4 yo to keep up with the older pair in terms of interests and play, could be setting yourself up for these late day conflicts. Not *all* activities have to be appropriate for all three of them.
My daughter does have friends who are a few years younger, and she loves her opportunities to play with them. She also has a few friends who are a little older. But she also has interests that are so very different from the kind of things that she was into four years ago (to make a point of the difference between 8 and 4).
I would look at whether there is an expectation on your part that they all three always play together all day long, and whether some of the conflict is stemming from just flat being worn out by playing with people of such different developmental level for a long time. What might be needed is more separation at times, a little break when you take the little one off so that they can enagage in their more mature pursuits, or engage 4yo with his own age playmate visitor, so that you can spend time with your other boys without him.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.robyncoburn.blogspot.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
It seems a little like you are treating your kids kinda like a unit. I think some of the other posters touched on this, but I think expecting the 8 and 7 year old to have the little one of 4 part of their activities pretty much all the time, or conversely to expect the 4 yo to keep up with the older pair in terms of interests and play, could be setting yourself up for these late day conflicts. Not *all* activities have to be appropriate for all three of them.
My daughter does have friends who are a few years younger, and she loves her opportunities to play with them. She also has a few friends who are a little older. But she also has interests that are so very different from the kind of things that she was into four years ago (to make a point of the difference between 8 and 4).
I would look at whether there is an expectation on your part that they all three always play together all day long, and whether some of the conflict is stemming from just flat being worn out by playing with people of such different developmental level for a long time. What might be needed is more separation at times, a little break when you take the little one off so that they can enagage in their more mature pursuits, or engage 4yo with his own age playmate visitor, so that you can spend time with your other boys without him.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.robyncoburn.blogspot.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com