Meeting Needs
joanne.lopers
There was a conversation posted recently by Alex reguading meeting the needs of a two year old that struck a cord with me. I had a real "Aha" moment the other day along those lines but I was the one who needed something. My 8 year old son very generously came to my rescue when he saw I was crying (been struggling with Vertigo and it just got to me at that moment). He put a wet cloth on my head, sat with me and then gave me a big hug while I finished up crying. Didn't ask any questions or give any advice, he just met my need. I have understood that concept for a long time but the role reversal really made it stick. It was such a relief and I could just go on with my day. My husband was not so patient with my crying because he is tired from work and probably sick of me being sort of out of it and I understand that because I am an adult but kids don't have the ability to see that yet so when you are impatient with them when they are 'needy' all they feel is that impatience or if you ignore the need it can fester and come out stronger next time. It really brings me joy now to meet their need at any given time because I know I am helping them along in the world and maybe relieving a little stress. Has helped me a great deal to have that perspective, even when my four year old is screaming across the house for me for the millionth time it seems. Sometimes I scream back at her (in a funny way) and then we both have a laugh and she kinda gets that maybe it's annoying to be screamed at.
Joanne
Joanne
nycartgal2003
Joanne,
I recently had a bad bout of vertigo too. I woke up and could not get out of bed.
I was alone with my almost 4 year old son and felt helpless. Logan's first reaction was that he wanted to take care of me. He went downstairs and opened the refrigerator by himself, something he had not done before, and brought me food.
He was very proud of himself for taking care of mommy. It could have been a rough day, but he rose to the occasion. My friend came over to bring me Dramamine, she helped him with breakfast, and the potty, he was a gem. Then my dad came over to play with Logan so I could rest. On a normal day, he would have wanted me there, but he happily played with grandpa.
It was wonderful to see his compassion, and I know he learned this from me and his dad, because make meeting his needs a priority.
Meryl
I recently had a bad bout of vertigo too. I woke up and could not get out of bed.
I was alone with my almost 4 year old son and felt helpless. Logan's first reaction was that he wanted to take care of me. He went downstairs and opened the refrigerator by himself, something he had not done before, and brought me food.
He was very proud of himself for taking care of mommy. It could have been a rough day, but he rose to the occasion. My friend came over to bring me Dramamine, she helped him with breakfast, and the potty, he was a gem. Then my dad came over to play with Logan so I could rest. On a normal day, he would have wanted me there, but he happily played with grandpa.
It was wonderful to see his compassion, and I know he learned this from me and his dad, because make meeting his needs a priority.
Meryl
--- In [email protected], "joanne.lopers" <wilmalv@...> wrote:
>
> There was a conversation posted recently by Alex reguading meeting the needs of a two year old that struck a cord with me. I had a real "Aha" moment the other day along those lines but I was the one who needed something. My 8 year old son very generously came to my rescue when he saw I was crying (been struggling with Vertigo and it just got to me at that moment). He put a wet cloth on my head, sat with me and then gave me a big hug while I finished up crying. Didn't ask any questions or give any advice, he just met my need. I have understood that concept for a long time but the role reversal really made it stick. It was such a relief and I could just go on with my day. My husband was not so patient with my crying because he is tired from work and probably sick of me being sort of out of it and I understand that because I am an adult but kids don't have the ability to see that yet so when you are impatient with them when they are 'needy' all they feel is that impatience or if you ignore the need it can fester and come out stronger next time. It really brings me joy now to meet their need at any given time because I know I am helping them along in the world and maybe relieving a little stress. Has helped me a great deal to have that perspective, even when my four year old is screaming across the house for me for the millionth time it seems. Sometimes I scream back at her (in a funny way) and then we both have a laugh and she kinda gets that maybe it's annoying to be screamed at.
> Joanne
>