young people earning money
siep_1
Hi all,
You are such a resourceful group of people, I hope you can help me.
My 16yo son, who is driving, needs to earn the money for car insurance. Our family has a very low income and we cannot afford to pay for insurance for him to drive. However, we live an hours drive from Tucson, where all the friends and activities are. I have always driven both kids (we also have a 13 yo) into town almost every day of the week. Now my so is taking a few classes at the jr.college in town, plus of course he wants to go out with his friends etc. Over the summer he worked as a lifeguard and out of what he made he paid for insurance and some of the gas money. But that job has ended now.
The small town we live in has a grocery store and a Walmart and a few fast food restaurants. Even though he does not really want to work at those places (and I would prefer if he did not need to) he's applied, but there are no jobs available.
So, my question is: what have your 16 yos done to make money? I'm sure there are creative ways out there that we have not thought of yet.
I have to add that he really does not want to work. He'd rather sit and play video games and watch movies all day. So talking about it is not working so well either. But maybe if I could help him with some more fun or interesting ideas to try it would not be so bad for him.
So, any ideas people are willing to share?
Thanks,
Sybelle
You are such a resourceful group of people, I hope you can help me.
My 16yo son, who is driving, needs to earn the money for car insurance. Our family has a very low income and we cannot afford to pay for insurance for him to drive. However, we live an hours drive from Tucson, where all the friends and activities are. I have always driven both kids (we also have a 13 yo) into town almost every day of the week. Now my so is taking a few classes at the jr.college in town, plus of course he wants to go out with his friends etc. Over the summer he worked as a lifeguard and out of what he made he paid for insurance and some of the gas money. But that job has ended now.
The small town we live in has a grocery store and a Walmart and a few fast food restaurants. Even though he does not really want to work at those places (and I would prefer if he did not need to) he's applied, but there are no jobs available.
So, my question is: what have your 16 yos done to make money? I'm sure there are creative ways out there that we have not thought of yet.
I have to add that he really does not want to work. He'd rather sit and play video games and watch movies all day. So talking about it is not working so well either. But maybe if I could help him with some more fun or interesting ideas to try it would not be so bad for him.
So, any ideas people are willing to share?
Thanks,
Sybelle
wtexans
===I have always driven both kids (we also have a 13 yo) into town almost every day of the week. Now my son is taking a few classes at the jr.college in town, plus of course he wants to go out with his friends etc.===
Is there some way you can combine other errands into town so that you're able to drop him and pick him up from classes? Or to drop him at a friend's house while you're in town and let him stay overnight with that friend and then pick him up the next day when you're back in town?
If paying for insurance to cover him is not an option right now, why not still help him out by taking him to and from places?
Can some of his friends come hang out at your house some of the time until such a time as car insurance for him is back in place?
===I have to add that he really does not want to work. He'd rather sit and play video games and watch movies all day.===
Well, if he's taking some classes, then he's not exactly playing video games and watching movies all day ;-).
Is the onus of getting to and from class and going to hang out with friends falling on his shoulders because he has a drivers license, or is he opposed to you driving him?
===So talking about it is not working so well either.===
Maybe you're not talking *with* him so much as talking *to* him.
Instead of getting ideas from the list and saying "here are more ideas of what *you* can be doing", you could offer to continue driving him to and from places and let him know when he's ready to drive himself that if he wants to brainstorm some options for ways to earn a little spending money, you'll be available.
Glenda
Is there some way you can combine other errands into town so that you're able to drop him and pick him up from classes? Or to drop him at a friend's house while you're in town and let him stay overnight with that friend and then pick him up the next day when you're back in town?
If paying for insurance to cover him is not an option right now, why not still help him out by taking him to and from places?
Can some of his friends come hang out at your house some of the time until such a time as car insurance for him is back in place?
===I have to add that he really does not want to work. He'd rather sit and play video games and watch movies all day.===
Well, if he's taking some classes, then he's not exactly playing video games and watching movies all day ;-).
Is the onus of getting to and from class and going to hang out with friends falling on his shoulders because he has a drivers license, or is he opposed to you driving him?
===So talking about it is not working so well either.===
Maybe you're not talking *with* him so much as talking *to* him.
Instead of getting ideas from the list and saying "here are more ideas of what *you* can be doing", you could offer to continue driving him to and from places and let him know when he's ready to drive himself that if he wants to brainstorm some options for ways to earn a little spending money, you'll be available.
Glenda
Deb Lewis
***My 16yo son, who is driving, needs to earn the money for car insurance.***
How much extra does it cost you to have him on your policy? When we added Dylan it wasn't that much, about thirty six dollars a quarter. We have clunkers and only carry liability. Thirty six dollars over three months is not so much.
***... he's applied, but there are no jobs available.***
Summer workers will be going back to school shortly, it's possible something will open up.
***So, my question is: what have your 16 yos done to make money? I'm sure there are creative ways out there that we have not thought of yet.***
What does he like to do?
***I have to add that he really does not want to work.***
Maybe you could consider how much free time you'll have now that he's driving himself to classes and to be with friends and consider whether that's a nice enough trade for you that you can come up with a way to cover the increase in insurance. Maybe he's helping you in other ways, running a few errands for you?
*** He'd rather sit and play video games and watch movies all day.***
If he's home watching movies and playing video games, he's not out driving on dangerous roads! That's comforting, right? He's not burning up expensive gas.
You could consider driving to be another of his learning needs and find a way to make it possible for him until he finds a job he'd enjoy. That could be a happier situation for you both. It's all still part of his learning and growth.
If you can't come up with the extra money to insure him on your policy then keep helping him get to where he needs to go. If he was blind and could not drive, you'd help him get to class or to visit his friends, right?
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
How much extra does it cost you to have him on your policy? When we added Dylan it wasn't that much, about thirty six dollars a quarter. We have clunkers and only carry liability. Thirty six dollars over three months is not so much.
***... he's applied, but there are no jobs available.***
Summer workers will be going back to school shortly, it's possible something will open up.
***So, my question is: what have your 16 yos done to make money? I'm sure there are creative ways out there that we have not thought of yet.***
What does he like to do?
***I have to add that he really does not want to work.***
Maybe you could consider how much free time you'll have now that he's driving himself to classes and to be with friends and consider whether that's a nice enough trade for you that you can come up with a way to cover the increase in insurance. Maybe he's helping you in other ways, running a few errands for you?
*** He'd rather sit and play video games and watch movies all day.***
If he's home watching movies and playing video games, he's not out driving on dangerous roads! That's comforting, right? He's not burning up expensive gas.
You could consider driving to be another of his learning needs and find a way to make it possible for him until he finds a job he'd enjoy. That could be a happier situation for you both. It's all still part of his learning and growth.
If you can't come up with the extra money to insure him on your policy then keep helping him get to where he needs to go. If he was blind and could not drive, you'd help him get to class or to visit his friends, right?
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-You could consider driving to be another of his learning needs and
find a way to make it possible for him until he finds a job he'd
enjoy. That could be a happier situation for you both. It's all still
part of his learning and growth. -=
That's what we did. We considered it part of their learning and of
their contribution to the family, to learn to drive, go on errands,
drive themselves places (so I didn't have to go and wait outside
karate dojos and such), and give siblings rides, too.
I don't think a teen should be required to pay for his own insurance,
and yes it's more expensive for boys, and I don't think they should be
penalized by their parents for being boys.
-=-If you can't come up with the extra money to insure him on your
policy then keep helping him get to where he needs to go. If he was
blind and could not drive, you'd help him get to class or to visit his
friends, right? -=-
Yes. I think being glad that he's healthy enough and smart enough to
have learned to drive is wonderful. Supporting him in doing that
might be worth some effort.
-=-The small town we live in has a grocery store and a Walmart and a
few fast food restaurants. Even though he does not really want to work
at those places (and I would prefer if he did not need to)...-=-
You live an hour from where he goes to school and hangs out. You
would prefer if he didn't need to work at the stores...
My kids worked at stores, because they wanted to. Gaming store,
grocery store, retail shop in the mall, respectively. (And other
places as other jobs, but those were the stores--both boys worked in
restaurants, too, as teens. We didn't pressure them to. We didn't
withhold automobile use from them.
-=-But maybe if I could help him with some more fun or interesting
ideas to try it would not be so bad for him.
So, any ideas people are willing to share?-=-
Now that you have two teens, what if you worked part time to buy
gasoline and insurance and your sixteen year old could drive himself
and his brother? Maybe he could get a job in Tucson, based on the
activities he enjoys, more easily than in your neighborhood.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
find a way to make it possible for him until he finds a job he'd
enjoy. That could be a happier situation for you both. It's all still
part of his learning and growth. -=
That's what we did. We considered it part of their learning and of
their contribution to the family, to learn to drive, go on errands,
drive themselves places (so I didn't have to go and wait outside
karate dojos and such), and give siblings rides, too.
I don't think a teen should be required to pay for his own insurance,
and yes it's more expensive for boys, and I don't think they should be
penalized by their parents for being boys.
-=-If you can't come up with the extra money to insure him on your
policy then keep helping him get to where he needs to go. If he was
blind and could not drive, you'd help him get to class or to visit his
friends, right? -=-
Yes. I think being glad that he's healthy enough and smart enough to
have learned to drive is wonderful. Supporting him in doing that
might be worth some effort.
-=-The small town we live in has a grocery store and a Walmart and a
few fast food restaurants. Even though he does not really want to work
at those places (and I would prefer if he did not need to)...-=-
You live an hour from where he goes to school and hangs out. You
would prefer if he didn't need to work at the stores...
My kids worked at stores, because they wanted to. Gaming store,
grocery store, retail shop in the mall, respectively. (And other
places as other jobs, but those were the stores--both boys worked in
restaurants, too, as teens. We didn't pressure them to. We didn't
withhold automobile use from them.
-=-But maybe if I could help him with some more fun or interesting
ideas to try it would not be so bad for him.
So, any ideas people are willing to share?-=-
Now that you have two teens, what if you worked part time to buy
gasoline and insurance and your sixteen year old could drive himself
and his brother? Maybe he could get a job in Tucson, based on the
activities he enjoys, more easily than in your neighborhood.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
siep_1
Thanks everyone, for the replies. I love this is, because it always gives you food for thought.
I have already told him that I will drive him to class of course, or other things he wants to do. He does not really like the idea of me driving him anymore.
Wow, $36 for 3 months, yes, we could do that! No, here it is $75 per month. I already am working part time, so we can buy groceries. I can't do much more, since I also need to help out in our own business. And the 13 yo is making money herself, by doing pet sitting etc. She has a very different personality. When she decides she wants to do something, she'll do anything to make it happen. My son, not so much. If it does not happen very easily, with little effort then he thinks it is because he is "never lucky", or "everyone is against me", or some other negative thought. He has a hard time thinking positive thoughts at all and that does hamper his situation. It does not help that he feeling so sad that most of his friends have suddenly decided to go to school, so he feels abandoned.
That played a part in him deciding to try college too and this is his first semester doing a college class (he just picked a class of something that really interests him, history, just to try it out). Maybe the exposure to other young people and the new environment will trigger something.
Thanks for making me think!
Sybelle
I have already told him that I will drive him to class of course, or other things he wants to do. He does not really like the idea of me driving him anymore.
Wow, $36 for 3 months, yes, we could do that! No, here it is $75 per month. I already am working part time, so we can buy groceries. I can't do much more, since I also need to help out in our own business. And the 13 yo is making money herself, by doing pet sitting etc. She has a very different personality. When she decides she wants to do something, she'll do anything to make it happen. My son, not so much. If it does not happen very easily, with little effort then he thinks it is because he is "never lucky", or "everyone is against me", or some other negative thought. He has a hard time thinking positive thoughts at all and that does hamper his situation. It does not help that he feeling so sad that most of his friends have suddenly decided to go to school, so he feels abandoned.
That played a part in him deciding to try college too and this is his first semester doing a college class (he just picked a class of something that really interests him, history, just to try it out). Maybe the exposure to other young people and the new environment will trigger something.
Thanks for making me think!
Sybelle
Jenny Cyphers
I used to pay $75 a month for classes for one of my children. It always seemed
like a lot, but it really wasn't comparatively speaking. There are some things
that cost waaaay more and some things that cost way less. If one of my children
decided to pursue ice skating competitively, I'd have to come up with a heck of
a lot more money. If one of my kids seriously became involved with skiing or
snow boarding, it would be the same kind of thing. An art class at the rec
center might be $25 a month, so a bit more than that.
A college class is significantly more than a rec center art class, or even auto
insurance. You probably can't get your money back now, but in the future, can
you include your son in weighing costs of things so that you can incorporate
auto insurance into that?
My oldest daughter is 16. She isn't driving yet. We live in an area with a
great public transit system and so far, she's loving the freedom of that paired
with the very low cost of it. For one month, we pay $26 for her to have
unlimited transportation anywhere in the larger metro area. She doesn't have to
worry about gas or car maintenance or cost of insurance. I'm in no hurry to
push her to get a driver's license!
***My son, not so much. If it does not happen very easily, with little effort
then he thinks it is because he is "never lucky", or "everyone is against me",
or some other negative thought.***
You can help change that!
I think in a way that's common. The world is huge and overwhelming sometimes.
Sometimes kids feel completely powerless to do anything about it. If the cost
of changing a kid's mental attitude is $75 a month, to give him freedom and help
him feel more empowered, it seems a small price to pay. Having a job is a lot
or responsibility. If your kid isn't interested in that right now, it might be
good to back off on that. Not all kids want that kind of responsibility. Some
kids need to grow into it, get their feet wet with other things before trying on
the big adult hat of "a job".
Chamille was offered this really amazing internship. At any time she could
accept it. If she waits too long, the offer may go away. So far, she hasn't
done it. She fully recognizes what a great opportunity it is and really wants
to do it, but more than anything right now, she wants a free schedule. She
wants that more than an internship. She really has given it a lot of thought.
No amount of pushing or prodding on my part will help her. If she wants it,
it's there for the taking. If I force her, she may end up being a terrible
intern, and that won't help her be successful. I think forcing a kid into a job
is like that too.
If you have your own business, why not let your son do that? Let him help here
and there, pitch in as needed and help him be flexible without the commitment of
a job. If he does more for your business, you could work more hours outside of
the business to cover whatever expenses that need to be covered. Maybe, instead
of seeing it as your son making money to cover his expenses, see it as an
opportunity for him to facilitate the work of others. In many ways, that is
what stay at home parents do for their partners who work. It's a very useful
skill.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
like a lot, but it really wasn't comparatively speaking. There are some things
that cost waaaay more and some things that cost way less. If one of my children
decided to pursue ice skating competitively, I'd have to come up with a heck of
a lot more money. If one of my kids seriously became involved with skiing or
snow boarding, it would be the same kind of thing. An art class at the rec
center might be $25 a month, so a bit more than that.
A college class is significantly more than a rec center art class, or even auto
insurance. You probably can't get your money back now, but in the future, can
you include your son in weighing costs of things so that you can incorporate
auto insurance into that?
My oldest daughter is 16. She isn't driving yet. We live in an area with a
great public transit system and so far, she's loving the freedom of that paired
with the very low cost of it. For one month, we pay $26 for her to have
unlimited transportation anywhere in the larger metro area. She doesn't have to
worry about gas or car maintenance or cost of insurance. I'm in no hurry to
push her to get a driver's license!
***My son, not so much. If it does not happen very easily, with little effort
then he thinks it is because he is "never lucky", or "everyone is against me",
or some other negative thought.***
You can help change that!
I think in a way that's common. The world is huge and overwhelming sometimes.
Sometimes kids feel completely powerless to do anything about it. If the cost
of changing a kid's mental attitude is $75 a month, to give him freedom and help
him feel more empowered, it seems a small price to pay. Having a job is a lot
or responsibility. If your kid isn't interested in that right now, it might be
good to back off on that. Not all kids want that kind of responsibility. Some
kids need to grow into it, get their feet wet with other things before trying on
the big adult hat of "a job".
Chamille was offered this really amazing internship. At any time she could
accept it. If she waits too long, the offer may go away. So far, she hasn't
done it. She fully recognizes what a great opportunity it is and really wants
to do it, but more than anything right now, she wants a free schedule. She
wants that more than an internship. She really has given it a lot of thought.
No amount of pushing or prodding on my part will help her. If she wants it,
it's there for the taking. If I force her, she may end up being a terrible
intern, and that won't help her be successful. I think forcing a kid into a job
is like that too.
If you have your own business, why not let your son do that? Let him help here
and there, pitch in as needed and help him be flexible without the commitment of
a job. If he does more for your business, you could work more hours outside of
the business to cover whatever expenses that need to be covered. Maybe, instead
of seeing it as your son making money to cover his expenses, see it as an
opportunity for him to facilitate the work of others. In many ways, that is
what stay at home parents do for their partners who work. It's a very useful
skill.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wtexans
===He has a hard time thinking positive thoughts at all and that does hamper his situation. It does not help that he feeling so sad that most of his friends have suddenly decided to go to school, so he feels abandoned.===
If his friends are no longer available, and his summer job is gone, and he has less independence (because no insurance means he can't drive), and you all live in a small community, he may be feeling quite "stuck".
Even the most positive person can feel some level of apathy when multiple things that brought happiness are gone.
===Wow, $36 for 3 months, yes, we could do that! No, here it is $75 per month.===
If you can pay half, why not present him with the offer for y'all to pay half and him to pay half (if you haven't already done so)? Maybe that would feel less overwhelming to him right now.
===this is his first semester doing a college class (he just picked a class of something that really interests him, history, just to try it out)===
If y'all are going to the city pretty much every day, maybe moving to the city would be something to consider.
Two hours' roundtrip is a lot of time in the car, and a lot of gas.
Living in a city would give access to public transportation (if you chose housing near the busline, that is), so that your son, and your daughter too, would have ways to get around town without necessarily having to work to pay for their own insurance.
Small communities can feel very restrictive to teens who are wanting to stretch their wings.
===I already am working part time, so we can buy groceries. I can't do much more, since I also need to help out in our own business.===
Can your son be paid to help out in the family business?
Or can you barter with him, so that he's helping out for a certain number of hours in exchange for y'all paying for his auto insurance and him having some gasoline and spending money?
Glenda
If his friends are no longer available, and his summer job is gone, and he has less independence (because no insurance means he can't drive), and you all live in a small community, he may be feeling quite "stuck".
Even the most positive person can feel some level of apathy when multiple things that brought happiness are gone.
===Wow, $36 for 3 months, yes, we could do that! No, here it is $75 per month.===
If you can pay half, why not present him with the offer for y'all to pay half and him to pay half (if you haven't already done so)? Maybe that would feel less overwhelming to him right now.
===this is his first semester doing a college class (he just picked a class of something that really interests him, history, just to try it out)===
If y'all are going to the city pretty much every day, maybe moving to the city would be something to consider.
Two hours' roundtrip is a lot of time in the car, and a lot of gas.
Living in a city would give access to public transportation (if you chose housing near the busline, that is), so that your son, and your daughter too, would have ways to get around town without necessarily having to work to pay for their own insurance.
Small communities can feel very restrictive to teens who are wanting to stretch their wings.
===I already am working part time, so we can buy groceries. I can't do much more, since I also need to help out in our own business.===
Can your son be paid to help out in the family business?
Or can you barter with him, so that he's helping out for a certain number of hours in exchange for y'all paying for his auto insurance and him having some gasoline and spending money?
Glenda
Sandra Dodd
-=-===He has a hard time thinking positive thoughts at all and that
does hamper his situation. It does not help that he feeling so sad
that most of his friends have suddenly decided to go to school, so he
feels abandoned.===
-=-If his friends are no longer available, and his summer job is gone,
and he has less independence (because no insurance means he can't
drive), and you all live in a small community, he may be feeling quite
"stuck".
-=-Even the most positive person can feel some level of apathy when
multiple things that brought happiness are gone.-=-
YES.
And $75 a month is less expensive than a weekly meeting with a
therapist, even if the therapist is on insurance with a $20 co-pay.
Mental health is not simply the absence of being in a mental
hospital. It's a long way from nearly-catatonic to confidently
functioning. It sounds like your son is toward the not-s0-functional
end of mental health.
If he had a broken leg, you'd probably take him to the doctor.
If he has a broken spirit and you're reminding him daily that it's his
fault, that sounds a bit like poking at an unset broken leg and saying
"Isn't that well yet?"
Find SOMEthing (or many things) more joyful, or at least turn off the
pressure.
Are you trying to insure him on an expensive car with comprehensive
insurance? Could you get a less expensive car, maybe, and the
insurance would be less? You could get a more expensive car after you
don't have teens. (IF the value of the car is an aspect.) Are you
saying it's $75 a month EXTRA because of him being on the insurance?
We have had three teenaged drivers, and that seems excessive.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
does hamper his situation. It does not help that he feeling so sad
that most of his friends have suddenly decided to go to school, so he
feels abandoned.===
-=-If his friends are no longer available, and his summer job is gone,
and he has less independence (because no insurance means he can't
drive), and you all live in a small community, he may be feeling quite
"stuck".
-=-Even the most positive person can feel some level of apathy when
multiple things that brought happiness are gone.-=-
YES.
And $75 a month is less expensive than a weekly meeting with a
therapist, even if the therapist is on insurance with a $20 co-pay.
Mental health is not simply the absence of being in a mental
hospital. It's a long way from nearly-catatonic to confidently
functioning. It sounds like your son is toward the not-s0-functional
end of mental health.
If he had a broken leg, you'd probably take him to the doctor.
If he has a broken spirit and you're reminding him daily that it's his
fault, that sounds a bit like poking at an unset broken leg and saying
"Isn't that well yet?"
Find SOMEthing (or many things) more joyful, or at least turn off the
pressure.
Are you trying to insure him on an expensive car with comprehensive
insurance? Could you get a less expensive car, maybe, and the
insurance would be less? You could get a more expensive car after you
don't have teens. (IF the value of the car is an aspect.) Are you
saying it's $75 a month EXTRA because of him being on the insurance?
We have had three teenaged drivers, and that seems excessive.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wtexans
===Are you saying it's $75 a month EXTRA because of him being on the insurance?===
Check with your insurance agent about this, but if you have a commerical auto policy (because of owning a family business) and your son works for you, that might be a less costly way to include coverage for him.
If you only have a personal auto policy and the rate you're getting on it is the lowest your agent says they can provide, there are companies you can utilize without going through an insurance agent and you might find something more affordable that way. (But you want to be sure the quote you get is "like for like" -- same or better coverage as you have now.)
Also, we get offers in the mail from AAA for auto insurance; if you have AAA, that might be something to check into.
Sometimes business organizations have something set up with an insurance company so the organization's members get a discount on certain coverages -- that'd be something to check into if y'all belong to any business-related organizations.
Glenda
Check with your insurance agent about this, but if you have a commerical auto policy (because of owning a family business) and your son works for you, that might be a less costly way to include coverage for him.
If you only have a personal auto policy and the rate you're getting on it is the lowest your agent says they can provide, there are companies you can utilize without going through an insurance agent and you might find something more affordable that way. (But you want to be sure the quote you get is "like for like" -- same or better coverage as you have now.)
Also, we get offers in the mail from AAA for auto insurance; if you have AAA, that might be something to check into.
Sometimes business organizations have something set up with an insurance company so the organization's members get a discount on certain coverages -- that'd be something to check into if y'all belong to any business-related organizations.
Glenda
eintob, d.a.
I'm wondering if the high insurance rate is an Arizona thing. When we added our son when he was going to get his permit (at 17) it was going to cost us $125 more a month...nearly double what we pay for two existing drivers with older vehicles. We have only slightly better than what is minimally required insurance and it seems to be a good rate.
~Michelle
~Michelle
--- In [email protected], "wtexans" <wtexans@...> wrote:
>
> ===Are you saying it's $75 a month EXTRA because of him being on the insurance?===
>
> Check with your insurance agent about this, but if you have a commerical auto policy (because of owning a family business) and your son works for you, that might be a less costly way to include coverage for him.
>
> If you only have a personal auto policy and the rate you're getting on it is the lowest your agent says they can provide, there are companies you can utilize without going through an insurance agent and you might find something more affordable that way. (But you want to be sure the quote you get is "like for like" -- same or better coverage as you have now.)
>
> Also, we get offers in the mail from AAA for auto insurance; if you have AAA, that might be something to check into.
>
> Sometimes business organizations have something set up with an insurance company so the organization's members get a discount on certain coverages -- that'd be something to check into if y'all belong to any business-related organizations.
>
> Glenda
>
siep_1
Thanks, Glenda.
We did pretty thorough research before insuring him and this is what we could find was the lowest.
Thanks, though. and yes, we keep looking!
Sybelle
We did pretty thorough research before insuring him and this is what we could find was the lowest.
Thanks, though. and yes, we keep looking!
Sybelle
--- In [email protected], "wtexans" <wtexans@...> wrote:
>
> ===Are you saying it's $75 a month EXTRA because of him being on the insurance?===
>
> Check with your insurance agent about this, but if you have a commerical auto policy (because of owning a family business) and your son works for you, that might be a less costly way to include coverage for him.
>
> If you only have a personal auto policy and the rate you're getting on it is the lowest your agent says they can provide, there are companies you can utilize without going through an insurance agent and you might find something more affordable that way. (But you want to be sure the quote you get is "like for like" -- same or better coverage as you have now.)
>
> Also, we get offers in the mail from AAA for auto insurance; if you have AAA, that might be something to check into.
>
> Sometimes business organizations have something set up with an insurance company so the organization's members get a discount on certain coverages -- that'd be something to check into if y'all belong to any business-related organizations.
>
> Glenda
>
siep_1
Hi Guys,
Great replies!
Unfortunately DS is not interested in helping out in our business at all. I can understand it, since his dad is not a very happy person and not great to be around (sorry to say). This of course also has its influence on how "good" all people in the house feel. DS has the most trouble with it and I wish I could change that part for him, but at this time I'm not quite sure how to do that.
And Sandra, he has had his share of mental health issues already. He is actually doing waaaaay better than when he was younger. And he is much happier. The glass is still half empty often, but at least he can see that it then also is half full at the same time.
I don't think I am pushing him to find a job. He is expressing he does not know how to make money and he wants to. Not just for the car insurance, but also for spending on fun stuff. And it is true that we don't have it right now.
He has said he would like to get "sparked" (his words) for ideas as to what to do, not only for money, but with his future. That is why he decided to go see what kinds of people he would meet at the local college. To see what ideas they might spark in him. And he loves hearing about the unusual ways people make an income. I was just looking for more of that.
Moving to the city would be great. It is high on our wish list. But if you think we pay a lot for car insurance now, just wait until you see the bills for property tax, vehicle registration and insurance, utilities, etc. if we were to live there. We did live there. It is way more cost effective to live where we do now, even if it has complications to do so. We had to leave our house in the city and could not afford a different one (like many others here). It is okay. We've got advantages from living rural too. But I fully realize how great it would be for the kids to live in the city again. Just not happening right now.
I really want to thank you all for your ideas and suggestions. It is really helpful to hear others' thoughts!
Sybelle
Great replies!
Unfortunately DS is not interested in helping out in our business at all. I can understand it, since his dad is not a very happy person and not great to be around (sorry to say). This of course also has its influence on how "good" all people in the house feel. DS has the most trouble with it and I wish I could change that part for him, but at this time I'm not quite sure how to do that.
And Sandra, he has had his share of mental health issues already. He is actually doing waaaaay better than when he was younger. And he is much happier. The glass is still half empty often, but at least he can see that it then also is half full at the same time.
I don't think I am pushing him to find a job. He is expressing he does not know how to make money and he wants to. Not just for the car insurance, but also for spending on fun stuff. And it is true that we don't have it right now.
He has said he would like to get "sparked" (his words) for ideas as to what to do, not only for money, but with his future. That is why he decided to go see what kinds of people he would meet at the local college. To see what ideas they might spark in him. And he loves hearing about the unusual ways people make an income. I was just looking for more of that.
Moving to the city would be great. It is high on our wish list. But if you think we pay a lot for car insurance now, just wait until you see the bills for property tax, vehicle registration and insurance, utilities, etc. if we were to live there. We did live there. It is way more cost effective to live where we do now, even if it has complications to do so. We had to leave our house in the city and could not afford a different one (like many others here). It is okay. We've got advantages from living rural too. But I fully realize how great it would be for the kids to live in the city again. Just not happening right now.
I really want to thank you all for your ideas and suggestions. It is really helpful to hear others' thoughts!
Sybelle
Sandra Dodd
-=-The glass is still half empty often, but at least he can see that
it then also is half full at the same time.
I don't think I am pushing him to find a job. He is expressing he does
not know how to make money and he wants to. Not just for the car
insurance, but also for spending on fun stuff. And it is true that we
don't have it right now.
He has said he would like to get "sparked" (his words) for ideas as to
what to do, not only for money, but with his future. -=-
One thing Kelly Lovejoy has recommended is picking up dog poo. I
wouldn't sent a depressed teen to do it alone, but if the two of you
had that shared job, it might be useful and you could spend more time
with him. Some people can't get out in their back yards to clean up
after their dogs. It might be something that could be done when it's
not so hot (late in the day/early evening) once or twice a week. Not
full time, but easy money. You could get vinyl gloves and just pick
it up that way.
The jobs my kids got all involved being sparkly and "up." I don't
think many places will want to hire someone who is sad and negative.
Part of ideal unschooling is creating an environment in which the kids
can grow up in happier ways than if they had been in school. It is
possible that some families can't afford to unschool, if they can't
create joyful situations. But if your son had been in school, you
would still be requiring him to pay for his own insurance, I'm
guessing. So it's not the unschooling, as Mary Gold says.
I'm sorry things aren't going better for you there. I don't know how
long you've been unschooling or whether your husband is also into it,
but it does seem a great shame that there's a family business and the
relationships aren't such that there's a spark in that direction.
Maybe some of the ideas people have mentioned will settle in and help
you decide whether anything can be changed, and what and how.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
it then also is half full at the same time.
I don't think I am pushing him to find a job. He is expressing he does
not know how to make money and he wants to. Not just for the car
insurance, but also for spending on fun stuff. And it is true that we
don't have it right now.
He has said he would like to get "sparked" (his words) for ideas as to
what to do, not only for money, but with his future. -=-
One thing Kelly Lovejoy has recommended is picking up dog poo. I
wouldn't sent a depressed teen to do it alone, but if the two of you
had that shared job, it might be useful and you could spend more time
with him. Some people can't get out in their back yards to clean up
after their dogs. It might be something that could be done when it's
not so hot (late in the day/early evening) once or twice a week. Not
full time, but easy money. You could get vinyl gloves and just pick
it up that way.
The jobs my kids got all involved being sparkly and "up." I don't
think many places will want to hire someone who is sad and negative.
Part of ideal unschooling is creating an environment in which the kids
can grow up in happier ways than if they had been in school. It is
possible that some families can't afford to unschool, if they can't
create joyful situations. But if your son had been in school, you
would still be requiring him to pay for his own insurance, I'm
guessing. So it's not the unschooling, as Mary Gold says.
I'm sorry things aren't going better for you there. I don't know how
long you've been unschooling or whether your husband is also into it,
but it does seem a great shame that there's a family business and the
relationships aren't such that there's a spark in that direction.
Maybe some of the ideas people have mentioned will settle in and help
you decide whether anything can be changed, and what and how.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
""You could get vinyl gloves and just pick
it up that way."
A set of poop-scooper woukld do the trick!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
it up that way."
A set of poop-scooper woukld do the trick!
Alex Polikowsky
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
***Unfortunately DS is not interested in helping out in our business at all. I
can understand it, since his dad is not a very happy person and not great to be
around (sorry to say). This of course also has its influence on how "good" all
people in the house feel. DS has the most trouble with it and I wish I could
change that part for him, but at this time I'm not quite sure how to do that.***
Do sweet and kind things for everyone, especially your husband. What is it that
is causing your husband to be unhappy and unpleasant to be around? Stress is a
big deal. What can you do to make things happy and fun? In my home, the things
that I do that create a better atmosphere; clean the kitchen, make food, help
with a happy attitude every time someone needs it, provide activities to engage
the kids, clean up after them, create a happy environment. If you can do that
for your husband he may be able to feel more relaxed and happy. If you can do
that for your kids, their attitude will help their dad.
***he has had his share of mental health issues already. He is actually doing
waaaaay better than when he was younger. And he is much happier. The glass is
still half empty often, but at least he can see that it then also is half full
at the same time.***
***He is expressing he does not know how to make money and he wants to. Not just
for the car insurance, but also for spending on fun stuff. And it is true that
we don't have it right now.***
He sounds stuck. Knowing how to make money and making money can feel like a big
hurdle. Feeling stuck and wanting to do things to get unstuck and not having
money to do those things can feel so overwhelming that he might not be able to
overcome that. Empower him. Do whatever it takes to get him unstuck. Provide
for him, even if it's the last $5. It's easy to get stuck into believing that
money can buy happiness. It doesn't. Money can help buy experiences, it can
relieve pressure. If $75 buys him freedom from feeling stuck then do it. Buy
less food, eat beans and rice. Even the tiniest meager budgets have
flexibility.
Feeling stuck and disempowered will not help a kid learn better and happier. It
simply can't. One of the things that I've found, is that part of my job as the
main unschooling parent is to find ways to empower my kids, to help them get
what they want, to provide as best I can with the resources I have. We've had
very little money all summer long but we still managed to provide Chamille with
the activities that she really wanted to do this summer. She knew it was hard
for us to do it and part of that knowing helps her know that she can do and get
what she wants in life because her parents are on her team. It's a mental shift
that's so crucial to unschooling. Both my kids know without a doubt that their
needs and wants will be taken seriously, as seriously as any bill that we pay or
food we buy.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
can understand it, since his dad is not a very happy person and not great to be
around (sorry to say). This of course also has its influence on how "good" all
people in the house feel. DS has the most trouble with it and I wish I could
change that part for him, but at this time I'm not quite sure how to do that.***
Do sweet and kind things for everyone, especially your husband. What is it that
is causing your husband to be unhappy and unpleasant to be around? Stress is a
big deal. What can you do to make things happy and fun? In my home, the things
that I do that create a better atmosphere; clean the kitchen, make food, help
with a happy attitude every time someone needs it, provide activities to engage
the kids, clean up after them, create a happy environment. If you can do that
for your husband he may be able to feel more relaxed and happy. If you can do
that for your kids, their attitude will help their dad.
***he has had his share of mental health issues already. He is actually doing
waaaaay better than when he was younger. And he is much happier. The glass is
still half empty often, but at least he can see that it then also is half full
at the same time.***
***He is expressing he does not know how to make money and he wants to. Not just
for the car insurance, but also for spending on fun stuff. And it is true that
we don't have it right now.***
He sounds stuck. Knowing how to make money and making money can feel like a big
hurdle. Feeling stuck and wanting to do things to get unstuck and not having
money to do those things can feel so overwhelming that he might not be able to
overcome that. Empower him. Do whatever it takes to get him unstuck. Provide
for him, even if it's the last $5. It's easy to get stuck into believing that
money can buy happiness. It doesn't. Money can help buy experiences, it can
relieve pressure. If $75 buys him freedom from feeling stuck then do it. Buy
less food, eat beans and rice. Even the tiniest meager budgets have
flexibility.
Feeling stuck and disempowered will not help a kid learn better and happier. It
simply can't. One of the things that I've found, is that part of my job as the
main unschooling parent is to find ways to empower my kids, to help them get
what they want, to provide as best I can with the resources I have. We've had
very little money all summer long but we still managed to provide Chamille with
the activities that she really wanted to do this summer. She knew it was hard
for us to do it and part of that knowing helps her know that she can do and get
what she wants in life because her parents are on her team. It's a mental shift
that's so crucial to unschooling. Both my kids know without a doubt that their
needs and wants will be taken seriously, as seriously as any bill that we pay or
food we buy.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
siep_1
Jenny, I really love the way your reply is written and the things you say are so true. Thank you fro reminding me, again, of what my ultimate goal is (happy kids!).
I may not be able to give him the $75, but I know I can find a way to help him. He has even said he feels stuck, though not specifically about this topic, and I have been looking for ways to help unstuck him. That is why I wrote my post. I know the people here would help me find a way to help him.
Thanks to all of you for being the way you are!
Sybelle
I may not be able to give him the $75, but I know I can find a way to help him. He has even said he feels stuck, though not specifically about this topic, and I have been looking for ways to help unstuck him. That is why I wrote my post. I know the people here would help me find a way to help him.
Thanks to all of you for being the way you are!
Sybelle
--- In [email protected], Jenny Cyphers <jenstarc4@...> wrote:
>
> ***Unfortunately DS is not interested in helping out in our business at all. I
> can understand it, since his dad is not a very happy person and not great to be
> around (sorry to say). This of course also has its influence on how "good" all
> people in the house feel. DS has the most trouble with it and I wish I could
> change that part for him, but at this time I'm not quite sure how to do that.***
>
> Do sweet and kind things for everyone, especially your husband. What is it that
> is causing your husband to be unhappy and unpleasant to be around? Stress is a
> big deal. What can you do to make things happy and fun? In my home, the things
> that I do that create a better atmosphere; clean the kitchen, make food, help
> with a happy attitude every time someone needs it, provide activities to engage
> the kids, clean up after them, create a happy environment. If you can do that
> for your husband he may be able to feel more relaxed and happy. If you can do
> that for your kids, their attitude will help their dad.
>
> ***he has had his share of mental health issues already. He is actually doing
> waaaaay better than when he was younger. And he is much happier. The glass is
> still half empty often, but at least he can see that it then also is half full
> at the same time.***
>
> ***He is expressing he does not know how to make money and he wants to. Not just
> for the car insurance, but also for spending on fun stuff. And it is true that
> we don't have it right now.***
>
> He sounds stuck. Knowing how to make money and making money can feel like a big
> hurdle. Feeling stuck and wanting to do things to get unstuck and not having
> money to do those things can feel so overwhelming that he might not be able to
> overcome that. Empower him. Do whatever it takes to get him unstuck. Provide
> for him, even if it's the last $5. It's easy to get stuck into believing that
> money can buy happiness. It doesn't. Money can help buy experiences, it can
> relieve pressure. If $75 buys him freedom from feeling stuck then do it. Buy
> less food, eat beans and rice. Even the tiniest meager budgets have
> flexibility.
>
> Feeling stuck and disempowered will not help a kid learn better and happier. It
> simply can't. One of the things that I've found, is that part of my job as the
> main unschooling parent is to find ways to empower my kids, to help them get
> what they want, to provide as best I can with the resources I have. We've had
> very little money all summer long but we still managed to provide Chamille with
> the activities that she really wanted to do this summer. She knew it was hard
> for us to do it and part of that knowing helps her know that she can do and get
> what she wants in life because her parents are on her team. It's a mental shift
> that's so crucial to unschooling. Both my kids know without a doubt that their
> needs and wants will be taken seriously, as seriously as any bill that we pay or
> food we buy.
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>