Making an impressive unschooling environment
melissamariemichael
I pulled this exchange from the âhusband not on unschooling trainâ thread. Sandraâs responses to the original poster (OP) really struck a chord with me and Iâve been thinking it over for the past few weeks.
***************************
OP: Apparently Year 1 was not very impressive. To him anyway.
Sandra: Apparently not. Perhaps you should have made it very impressive. Perhaps you're getting another chance, and you should figure out how to make an impressive unschooling environment.
I think everyone should. I think you should've done that last year.
OP: I also feel this pressure to make unschooling look like the best thing EVER, not just to me and Damon, but somehow so Geoff and his mom can see it too.
Sandra: Uh.... Yes. I'm sorry you didn't feel some of that pressure from this group. I'm sorry when your husband said (...and I'm trusting your account and hoping you weren't just pretending...) "he was fine with Damon staying home with me (mom) as long as he was learning something" that it didn't strike you as a little pressure to make unschooling look good!!
****************************
I have a four-year-old daughter, a two-year-old son, and a baby due in March. Many of my daughterâs friends are starting preschool or kindergarten this fall. My husband and I have already agreed not to send her to preschool. I have the feeling that the primary reason my husband agreed to this is because preschool is not free in our school district, and we have a very tight budget. I have a feeling the discussion will go much differently next year when we are talking about sending her to kindergarten, which *is* free.
Ever since I read the above exchange with Sandra, I have begun to feel this pressure to make our next year of unschooling look really great. I know that technically we arenât unschooling because she is not actually school age, but it certainly feels that way to me since many of her friends are going to be in school. I feel like I have to show everyone what unschooling will look like and how great it is during this next year because Iâm not sure Iâll have the chance if she goes to kindergarten.
I am also feeling pressure from family members. I have been diffusing questions about what weâre going to do for kindergarten by saying things like, âwe arenât deciding anything just yet, and weâll see where we are when the time comes to decideâ but I feel like my time is running out on these kinds of responses. My family doesnât have a positive view of home schooling in general.
Lately, my daughter has been talking about kindergarten and when she will get to go. Iâm almost certain my mother-in-law and possibly sister-in-law (who is an elementary school teacher) have been talking about kindergarten with her when Iâm not around. I donât want to prevent my daughter from going to kindergarten if thatâs what she really wants to do, but I also have a fear that she only wants to go because of the rosy picture others are painting of it for her. Iâm pretty sure she thinks that kindergarten is where you go to play with your friends. So I guess I also feel pressure to make unschooling/being at home really great for my daughter, so that she doesnât *want* to go away to kindergarten.
What I would like is suggestions and advice on how to make unschooling look impressive in our house over the next year. I stay home with the kids full time, and I know how amazing they are and how much they are learning all the time. I just need other people to be able to see that. I also think I could do a better job of providing more new, interesting, stimulating things for them to do more regularly instead of falling into our usual activities. I guess Iâm feeling a little guilty lately over how much my kids have been playing on their own or watching movies or being on the computer because I havenât been feeling well the past couple of weeks. Iâm also worried about what will happen when the baby comes, because a newborn will take up a whole lot of my time and attention and Iâm afraid that will make it seem like my other kids arenât in an impressive unschooling environment. Iâd like to be more proactive, and have some kind of general plan of things we can do or some vague kind of âcurriculumâ to appease well-meaning relatives, and even a well-meaning dad possibly.
What I want to avoid is being in a situation like the original poster may have, where I have a strain on my marriage and a big disagreement over unschooling and a struggle with family members and maybe even my own daughter about whether or not she should go to kindergarten.
***************************
OP: Apparently Year 1 was not very impressive. To him anyway.
Sandra: Apparently not. Perhaps you should have made it very impressive. Perhaps you're getting another chance, and you should figure out how to make an impressive unschooling environment.
I think everyone should. I think you should've done that last year.
OP: I also feel this pressure to make unschooling look like the best thing EVER, not just to me and Damon, but somehow so Geoff and his mom can see it too.
Sandra: Uh.... Yes. I'm sorry you didn't feel some of that pressure from this group. I'm sorry when your husband said (...and I'm trusting your account and hoping you weren't just pretending...) "he was fine with Damon staying home with me (mom) as long as he was learning something" that it didn't strike you as a little pressure to make unschooling look good!!
****************************
I have a four-year-old daughter, a two-year-old son, and a baby due in March. Many of my daughterâs friends are starting preschool or kindergarten this fall. My husband and I have already agreed not to send her to preschool. I have the feeling that the primary reason my husband agreed to this is because preschool is not free in our school district, and we have a very tight budget. I have a feeling the discussion will go much differently next year when we are talking about sending her to kindergarten, which *is* free.
Ever since I read the above exchange with Sandra, I have begun to feel this pressure to make our next year of unschooling look really great. I know that technically we arenât unschooling because she is not actually school age, but it certainly feels that way to me since many of her friends are going to be in school. I feel like I have to show everyone what unschooling will look like and how great it is during this next year because Iâm not sure Iâll have the chance if she goes to kindergarten.
I am also feeling pressure from family members. I have been diffusing questions about what weâre going to do for kindergarten by saying things like, âwe arenât deciding anything just yet, and weâll see where we are when the time comes to decideâ but I feel like my time is running out on these kinds of responses. My family doesnât have a positive view of home schooling in general.
Lately, my daughter has been talking about kindergarten and when she will get to go. Iâm almost certain my mother-in-law and possibly sister-in-law (who is an elementary school teacher) have been talking about kindergarten with her when Iâm not around. I donât want to prevent my daughter from going to kindergarten if thatâs what she really wants to do, but I also have a fear that she only wants to go because of the rosy picture others are painting of it for her. Iâm pretty sure she thinks that kindergarten is where you go to play with your friends. So I guess I also feel pressure to make unschooling/being at home really great for my daughter, so that she doesnât *want* to go away to kindergarten.
What I would like is suggestions and advice on how to make unschooling look impressive in our house over the next year. I stay home with the kids full time, and I know how amazing they are and how much they are learning all the time. I just need other people to be able to see that. I also think I could do a better job of providing more new, interesting, stimulating things for them to do more regularly instead of falling into our usual activities. I guess Iâm feeling a little guilty lately over how much my kids have been playing on their own or watching movies or being on the computer because I havenât been feeling well the past couple of weeks. Iâm also worried about what will happen when the baby comes, because a newborn will take up a whole lot of my time and attention and Iâm afraid that will make it seem like my other kids arenât in an impressive unschooling environment. Iâd like to be more proactive, and have some kind of general plan of things we can do or some vague kind of âcurriculumâ to appease well-meaning relatives, and even a well-meaning dad possibly.
What I want to avoid is being in a situation like the original poster may have, where I have a strain on my marriage and a big disagreement over unschooling and a struggle with family members and maybe even my own daughter about whether or not she should go to kindergarten.
John and Amanda Slater
I don't think anyone else can tell you how to make an impressive unschooling
environment. It depends on what your dd likes best. I think in general you
know you've done well when nothing about Kindergarten is impressive to her
anymore. She should have whatever is most appealing about school at home. If
it is art, have a fantastic art collection at home. If she like to get together
with friends, set up lots of outings.
My boys love Legos, TV, wii, and the trampoline. We have all of this at home.
There is no where they would rather be than with all the things they love. We
mix in other things they like and try to provide opportunities to check out new
things.
As for showing your husband, take pictures and set up a blog or something
similar. Point out what she would be missing at school. Relate the horror
stories you hear about school. Find articles about the value of play.
I think being proactive is a good plan. At the preschool level their is a lot
of pro-school media. We had to work hard to avoid it as we always planned to
homeschool.
Amanda
Eli 9, Samuel 7
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
environment. It depends on what your dd likes best. I think in general you
know you've done well when nothing about Kindergarten is impressive to her
anymore. She should have whatever is most appealing about school at home. If
it is art, have a fantastic art collection at home. If she like to get together
with friends, set up lots of outings.
My boys love Legos, TV, wii, and the trampoline. We have all of this at home.
There is no where they would rather be than with all the things they love. We
mix in other things they like and try to provide opportunities to check out new
things.
As for showing your husband, take pictures and set up a blog or something
similar. Point out what she would be missing at school. Relate the horror
stories you hear about school. Find articles about the value of play.
I think being proactive is a good plan. At the preschool level their is a lot
of pro-school media. We had to work hard to avoid it as we always planned to
homeschool.
Amanda
Eli 9, Samuel 7
________________________________
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=Ever since I read the above exchange with Sandra, I have begun to
feel this pressure to make our next year of unschooling look really
great.-=-
I don't want to leave the impression with anyone that I think it's
only until the husband is brought onboard that moms should really try
to make unschooling rich and impressive. That should go on as long as
there are children.
We've had quiet seasons and down seasons, sure, but 180 days a week
should be full, good days! Have 185 days off if you want (if you can,
after it gets going well, and when it's going REALLY well, even one
day a year off won't work.
http://sandradodd.com/learnnothingday
Parents, and eventually BOTH parents, need to come to see what natural
learning looks like. It does not look like school.
http://sandradodd.com/seeingit
-=-Ever since I read the above exchange with Sandra, I have begun to
feel this pressure to make our next year of unschooling look really
great. I know that technically we aren�t unschooling because she is
not actually school age, but it certainly feels that way to me since
many of her friends are going to be in school-=-
More and more U.S. states require kindergarten now, and when and where
free public schooling starts in ANY jurisdiction and a parent opts
out, I think that's time to start saying "we're unschooling."
Even where enrollment isn't mandated until the age of 7, if most kids
are in at 5 the parent is consciously doing something other than what
the community and government expect them to do with their child each
schoolday morning.
But a four year old and pre-school, I don't think anything more than
her being calm and happy and not crying about separations would be
required if the relatives are at all thoughtful and compassionate
about mental health. Then again, many people don't think a bit about
the mental health of children, until they're cutting themselves or
using drugs or being suicidal. Anything short of that is seen as
normal. :-/ And "normal" and "healthy" are, unfortunately,
considered to be equal, when most people look at kids, even if what is
actually the norm is stressed, afraid and unhappy.
-=- I stay home with the kids full time-=-
Maybe, even though you'll have an infant, you can start thinking of it
as staying with the kids full time in the world. Don't aim for
"home." Get them out and going. Infants in slings or carriers can go
out as easily as staying home, and they might prefer it! More things
for them to see, touch, hear.
If you don't have a blog yet, maybe start one with photos of places,
or scans of tickets or programs (or just link to the websites of the
places you've been, and upload an image from there with a link back to
it; they wouldn't mind that kind of use of their art, definitely!)
It's hard, when one is exhausted, the dishes aren't done, laundry is
piling up, one kid's crying and one is not in evidence, to say at that
point what good things have happened in the past week. When Kirby
was five and Marty was two and Holly was born, that was an exhausting
time. But we had other families trading play time ("babysitting co-
op" for points, but often it was just playdates for points), and so I
could arrange time with just the baby, and I could easily get other
kids over to play with mine, which helped.
If you and your husband can get to a conference, do that. It could
make the biggest difference! There are things he might listen to
(depending how he is about such things) linked here:
http://sandradodd.com/listen
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
feel this pressure to make our next year of unschooling look really
great.-=-
I don't want to leave the impression with anyone that I think it's
only until the husband is brought onboard that moms should really try
to make unschooling rich and impressive. That should go on as long as
there are children.
We've had quiet seasons and down seasons, sure, but 180 days a week
should be full, good days! Have 185 days off if you want (if you can,
after it gets going well, and when it's going REALLY well, even one
day a year off won't work.
http://sandradodd.com/learnnothingday
Parents, and eventually BOTH parents, need to come to see what natural
learning looks like. It does not look like school.
http://sandradodd.com/seeingit
-=-Ever since I read the above exchange with Sandra, I have begun to
feel this pressure to make our next year of unschooling look really
great. I know that technically we aren�t unschooling because she is
not actually school age, but it certainly feels that way to me since
many of her friends are going to be in school-=-
More and more U.S. states require kindergarten now, and when and where
free public schooling starts in ANY jurisdiction and a parent opts
out, I think that's time to start saying "we're unschooling."
Even where enrollment isn't mandated until the age of 7, if most kids
are in at 5 the parent is consciously doing something other than what
the community and government expect them to do with their child each
schoolday morning.
But a four year old and pre-school, I don't think anything more than
her being calm and happy and not crying about separations would be
required if the relatives are at all thoughtful and compassionate
about mental health. Then again, many people don't think a bit about
the mental health of children, until they're cutting themselves or
using drugs or being suicidal. Anything short of that is seen as
normal. :-/ And "normal" and "healthy" are, unfortunately,
considered to be equal, when most people look at kids, even if what is
actually the norm is stressed, afraid and unhappy.
-=- I stay home with the kids full time-=-
Maybe, even though you'll have an infant, you can start thinking of it
as staying with the kids full time in the world. Don't aim for
"home." Get them out and going. Infants in slings or carriers can go
out as easily as staying home, and they might prefer it! More things
for them to see, touch, hear.
If you don't have a blog yet, maybe start one with photos of places,
or scans of tickets or programs (or just link to the websites of the
places you've been, and upload an image from there with a link back to
it; they wouldn't mind that kind of use of their art, definitely!)
It's hard, when one is exhausted, the dishes aren't done, laundry is
piling up, one kid's crying and one is not in evidence, to say at that
point what good things have happened in the past week. When Kirby
was five and Marty was two and Holly was born, that was an exhausting
time. But we had other families trading play time ("babysitting co-
op" for points, but often it was just playdates for points), and so I
could arrange time with just the baby, and I could easily get other
kids over to play with mine, which helped.
If you and your husband can get to a conference, do that. It could
make the biggest difference! There are things he might listen to
(depending how he is about such things) linked here:
http://sandradodd.com/listen
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sarah
You get to see how impressive it all I'd because you are there... Maybe the answer is not to change what you're doing (though no harm in doing extra fun stuff) but to keep a cool record so that others can appreciate your normal routine.
A digital camera and a blog might let people see what wonderful things you're doing. I know that my own days can seem uneventful till I look back at the photos and realise we've done loads.
Sarah
A digital camera and a blog might let people see what wonderful things you're doing. I know that my own days can seem uneventful till I look back at the photos and realise we've done loads.
Sarah
aldq75
More and more U.S. states require kindergarten now, and when and where free public schooling starts in ANY jurisdiction and a parent opts
out, I think that's time to start saying "we're unschooling."
Even where enrollment isn't mandated until the age of 7, if most kids are in at 5 the parent is consciously doing something other than what the community and government expect them to do with their child each schoolday morning.
----
Depending on the situation, anything after age 3.5 years could be considered conscious unschooling, because (unfortunately0 it seems like public schools are pushing to have children earlier and earlier. There are school districts that have a preschool program in their elementary schools (some have taxpayer-funded programs that are "free" to attend). We've gotten flack from family for not sending our children to preschool and even had cashiers ask why our kids weren't in preschool.
Andrea Q
out, I think that's time to start saying "we're unschooling."
Even where enrollment isn't mandated until the age of 7, if most kids are in at 5 the parent is consciously doing something other than what the community and government expect them to do with their child each schoolday morning.
----
Depending on the situation, anything after age 3.5 years could be considered conscious unschooling, because (unfortunately0 it seems like public schools are pushing to have children earlier and earlier. There are school districts that have a preschool program in their elementary schools (some have taxpayer-funded programs that are "free" to attend). We've gotten flack from family for not sending our children to preschool and even had cashiers ask why our kids weren't in preschool.
Andrea Q
plaidpanties666
"melissamariemichael" <myatzeck@...> wrote:
Joining them where they are will gives you a chance to take pictures for a blog or scrapbook, it lets you see what they're doing so you can offer more things they like, plust to play with them. That's a win all the way around.
Sometimes little things like magazine subscriptions can be a boon in term of helping moms and kids change gears when things get stale around the house. Kid-magazines like Ladybug or National Geographic Kids can spark ideas for new fun, new trips, even new foods to try - And subscriptions make great things for extended family to "give". Asking for things like that helps grandparents feel involved and connected, which can help them get over the "no school" hurdle and provide them with Other things to talk and ask about. If grandparents are willing to chip in a little more, ask for memberships to children's museums or zoos - whatever's in your area that you'd love to do.
---Meredith
> I guess Iâm feeling a little guilty lately over how much my kids have been playing on their own.****************
Joining them where they are will gives you a chance to take pictures for a blog or scrapbook, it lets you see what they're doing so you can offer more things they like, plust to play with them. That's a win all the way around.
Sometimes little things like magazine subscriptions can be a boon in term of helping moms and kids change gears when things get stale around the house. Kid-magazines like Ladybug or National Geographic Kids can spark ideas for new fun, new trips, even new foods to try - And subscriptions make great things for extended family to "give". Asking for things like that helps grandparents feel involved and connected, which can help them get over the "no school" hurdle and provide them with Other things to talk and ask about. If grandparents are willing to chip in a little more, ask for memberships to children's museums or zoos - whatever's in your area that you'd love to do.
---Meredith
k
>>>More and more U.S. states require kindergarten now, and when and where free public schooling starts in ANY jurisdiction and a parent opts out, I think that's time to start saying "we're unschooling."<<<I think so. Many places where I could have chosen to live, there's a
Head Start kindergarten program starting kids at school at 4 years of
age. It's supposed to give qualifying kids an extra hand up. It isn't
free for all kids though, just for people who can't afford
kindergarten. So if your family is in that qualifying income bracket,
it looks a lot like a requirement, even when it isn't an official one.
And if you're obviously NOT in that income bracket and you can afford
to pay for kindergarten, the option not to send a child to
kindergarten seems marginal and pro-school people are gonna ask why
parents are not allowing their kids to go to kindergarten if they can
afford it. The big question parents get is why would a parent NOT want
to??
It isn't free to all and may never be but lots of people see education
(in other words-- school) as a universal right. The pressure to send
kids to school starts very early in the US with a school system not
doing well internationally and the onus to improve not falling
squarely on the system alone but also on children to attend school
more and earlier.
That's very good reason for parents to understand unschooling as early
in the game as possible and do it well.
Four is still very young, a baby to me, and it wasn't until just
recently that Karl turned 7 and became interested in specific bits of
info to talk about. Before that, it was lots of storytelling and
playacting and very little conscious gathering of info or talking
about it. Some but not much. And there's still a lot of unconsciously
being awash in a sea of ideas. When Karl was 3 and 4, he loved playing
Reader Rabbit and I played together with him. Lots of times he skipped
things he didn't know and sometimes he asked me to answer parts for
him. I know that he was picking up ideas from what we did. We played
Starfall together and it was fun to click the words and so they could
read themselves and sometimes sing about themselves.
Same thing with watching old Sesame Street episodes on Youtube where
the actors name the letters hanging in midair and also have side
conversations about all kinds of other things that I would not
necessarily call academic. For instance, there was a breastfeeding
skit and Karl could easily relate to that as a matter of course, and
was what I would call confirmation of what he had experienced himself
firsthand. For another kid, who either doesn't remember breastfeeding
or who wasn't breastfed, that skit could be new, in other words, where
information to learn from is provided.
Don't be afraid to show and tell if the child/ren want to watch and
listen. Do give information and learning will go on. Karl and I were
in a small local little restaurant and in the past he has gone up to
the register with the bill and money to pay for the meal. Instead of
asking him in words, I drew on a napkin a stick figure story of him
paying for the meal. He was curious to see what would come next,
watched as I drew, said "Oh ok!" and then I gave him the money/bill
and away he went. Later, he wanted me to draw another story with him
for showing his dad. I also have a note program in my PDA and Karl
dictates stories sometimes as we're settling in to sleep. There's all
kinds of ways to keep the learning flowing and keep it mixed up and
fun and never look to curriculum.
Educational goals in the school system carry over from year to year,
repeating for reinforcement of info and gradually adding to repeated
material from previous grades.
With unschooling, a huge advantage is lots of information that's very
comprehensive without resorting to forced repetition of concepts so
that a child can leisurely put ideas into the place it needs to go for
him/her. The objective for unschooling is simply to keep the learning
flowing.
Gosh I hope there aren't many people who think unschooling is anti-learning.
~Katherine
On 8/9/10, aldq75 <aldq75@...> wrote:
> More and more U.S. states require kindergarten now, and when and where free
> public schooling starts in ANY jurisdiction and a parent opts
> out, I think that's time to start saying "we're unschooling."
>
> Even where enrollment isn't mandated until the age of 7, if most kids are in
> at 5 the parent is consciously doing something other than what the
> community and government expect them to do with their child each schoolday
> morning.
>
> ----
>
> Depending on the situation, anything after age 3.5 years could be considered
> conscious unschooling, because (unfortunately0 it seems like public schools
> are pushing to have children earlier and earlier. There are school districts
> that have a preschool program in their elementary schools (some have
> taxpayer-funded programs that are "free" to attend). We've gotten flack from
> family for not sending our children to preschool and even had cashiers ask
> why our kids weren't in preschool.
>
> Andrea Q
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
almadoing
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
We get lots of enquiries on our local home education forum from parents who are having to make a decision whether or not to do what the community and government expects of them in respect of their toddlers. :(
Alison
DS1 (7) and DS2 (5)
> Even where enrollment isn't mandated until the age of 7, if most kidsIn the UK school (or homeschool) is manadatory from 5 (4 in Northern Ireland), and the government offers all 3 and 4 year olds 15 hours a week of "free early learning". So we have been constantly questioned about our choices since our boys each reached 3. Folk just didn't get why we were turning down this free opportunity and depriving our boys of a good early start.
> are in at 5 the parent is consciously doing something other than what
> the community and government expect them to do with their child each
> schoolday morning.
>
We get lots of enquiries on our local home education forum from parents who are having to make a decision whether or not to do what the community and government expects of them in respect of their toddlers. :(
Alison
DS1 (7) and DS2 (5)