Josh Moll

dear everyone,

in a lot of posts about the change to unschooling I see my own problems
reflected, and a lot of it has to do with changing my knee-jerk reaction in a
situation. To not respond in anger to anger or to be disappointed by whining for
things, or to even see things in a knee-jerk way, to see an expression as anger
or as whining.

What has helped me very much, apart from reading the list, is listening to the
lectures of PemaChödrön. Almost every lecture deals with looking at my own
knee-jerk reactions, which happens so easily and puts me so quickly in something
escalating in something I don't want. By seeing this, by pointing it out to me
in her lectures she directs me to a different way of reacting, with clear
examples. (I don't want to make an advertisement and if Sandra thinks this is
not good for the list just chuck it out, but it made such a huge difference in
my unschooling that I didn't want to withheld it)

Somehow it just clicked so much. And by just making time as much as possible
before reacting, to accept the moment that is happening and just be as
compassionate as possible for everyone, life is going smoother, happier and more
loving. By making the change from reacting to looking, I even see things in
advance coming and that helps too.

It made me just see that in this turmoil (because of my illness) Alma just needs
to be in my bed again, before she had to discover it, and it makes us happy. And
that my big son yesterday was just overwhelmed himself instead of angry and he
needed help instead of an hard word. It made me see that we all have problems
with transitioning from one place to another because we are all overwhelmed and
that a lot of slowness, love and compassion, where-ever possible is the best
thing we can give each-other. And by giving the compassionate example it makes
it easier for everyone else in the family to stay connected.

Josh
http://thuisschool.wordpress.com/

Sandra Dodd

-=-What has helped me very much, apart from reading the list, is
listening to the
lectures of PemaChödrön. Almost every lecture deals with looking at my
own
knee-jerk reactions, which happens so easily and puts me so quickly in
something
escalating in something I don't want. By seeing this, by pointing it
out to me
in her lectures she directs me to a different way of reacting, with
clear
examples.-=-

I think any zen recommendations are good ones.

A good combo of zen and making connections is the music and movie-
related writings of Dean Sluyter:

Why the Chicken Crossed the Road
and other Hidden Enlightenment Teachings: from Buddha to Bebop to
Mother Goose
http://www.deansluyter.com/pages.cfm?id=2

Cinema Nirvana
http://www.deansluyter.com/pages.cfm?id=29


A book I mentioned in a chat recently that's not spiritual in nature
but is more like cognitive therapy is

Slowing Down to the Speed of Life
How to create a more peaceful, simpler life from the inside out
by Richard Carlson and Joseph Bailey

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

diana jenner

I too find Pema to be a wonderful partner in unschooling!
In that vein, check out Sandra's Peaceful Parenting talk (sorry I can't link
on my phone). It changed, no continues to change! my life.
It addresses those knee-jerk moments & gives real options for YOU :)

-diana

On Jul 27, 2010 11:23 PM, "Josh Moll" <josje_wosje@...> wrote:



dear everyone,

in a lot of posts about the change to unschooling I see my own problems
reflected, and a lot of it has to do with changing my knee-jerk reaction in
a
situation. To not respond in anger to anger or to be disappointed by whining
for
things, or to even see things in a knee-jerk way, to see an expression as
anger
or as whining.

What has helped me very much, apart from reading the list, is listening to
the
lectures of PemaCh�dr�n. Almost every lecture deals with looking at my own
knee-jerk reactions, which happens so easily and puts me so quickly in
something
escalating in something I don't want. By seeing this, by pointing it out to
me
in her lectures she directs me to a different way of reacting, with clear
examples. (I don't want to make an advertisement and if Sandra thinks this
is
not good for the list just chuck it out, but it made such a huge difference
in
my unschooling that I didn't want to withheld it)

Somehow it just clicked so much. And by just making time as much as possible

before reacting, to accept the moment that is happening and just be as
compassionate as possible for everyone, life is going smoother, happier and
more
loving. By making the change from reacting to looking, I even see things in
advance coming and that helps too.

It made me just see that in this turmoil (because of my illness) Alma just
needs
to be in my bed again, before she had to discover it, and it makes us happy.
And
that my big son yesterday was just overwhelmed himself instead of angry and
he
needed help instead of an hard word. It made me see that we all have
problems
with transitioning from one place to another because we are all overwhelmed
and
that a lot of slowness, love and compassion, where-ever possible is the best

thing we can give each-other. And by giving the compassionate example it
makes
it easier for everyone else in the family to stay connected.

Josh
http://thuisschool.wordpress.com/




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

Here's that link Diana was talking about:
http://www.archive.org/details/PeacefulParentingTalkdoddprystowsky

~Katherine



On Wed, Jul 28, 2010 at 10:16 AM, diana jenner <hahamommy@...> wrote:
> I too find Pema to be a wonderful partner in unschooling!
> In that vein, check out Sandra's Peaceful Parenting talk (sorry I can't link
> on my phone). It changed, no continues to change! my life.
> It addresses those knee-jerk moments & gives real options for YOU :)
>
> -diana
>
> On Jul 27, 2010 11:23 PM, "Josh Moll" <josje_wosje@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> dear everyone,
>
> in a lot of posts about the change to unschooling I see my own problems
> reflected, and a lot of it has to do with changing my knee-jerk reaction in
> a
> situation. To not respond in anger to anger or to be disappointed by whining
> for
> things, or to even see things in a knee-jerk way, to see an expression as
> anger
> or as whining.
>
> What has helped me very much, apart from reading the list, is listening to
> the
> lectures of PemaChödrön. Almost every lecture deals with looking at my own
> knee-jerk reactions, which happens so easily and puts me so quickly in
> something
> escalating in something I don't want. By seeing this, by pointing it out to
> me
> in her lectures she directs me to a different way of reacting, with clear
> examples. (I don't want to make an advertisement and if Sandra thinks this
> is
> not good for the list just chuck it out, but it made such a huge difference
> in
> my unschooling that I didn't want to withheld it)
>
> Somehow it just clicked so much. And by just making time as much as possible
>
> before reacting, to accept the moment that is happening and just be as
> compassionate as possible for everyone, life is going smoother, happier and
> more
> loving. By making the change from reacting to looking, I even see things in
> advance coming and that helps too.
>
> It made me just see that in this turmoil (because of my illness) Alma just
> needs
> to be in my bed again, before she had to discover it, and it makes us happy.
> And
> that my big son yesterday was just overwhelmed himself instead of angry and
> he
> needed help instead of an hard word. It made me see that we all have
> problems
> with transitioning from one place to another because we are all overwhelmed
> and
> that a lot of slowness, love and compassion, where-ever possible is the best
>
> thing we can give each-other. And by giving the compassionate example it
> makes
> it easier for everyone else in the family to stay connected.
>
> Josh
> http://thuisschool.wordpress.com/
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>

Josh Moll

Wow Sandra, I really loved the talk, and it was nice to hear your voice (was
still missing, reading your book, your written words on the pages of this list
made me wonder). I downloaded it to my mp3 player and listened to it when the
rest was still sleeping.
Thanks everyone for pointing it out to me.
Josh





________________________________
From: Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wed, July 28, 2010 6:29:12 PM
Subject: a better link: [AlwaysLearning] kneejerk reactions


-=-Here's that link Diana was talking about:
http://www.archive.org/details/PeacefulParentingTalkdoddprystowsky-=-

This might be better:

http://sandradodd.com/parentingpeacefully

It has other text and ideas, and you can listen to the talk without
downloading it. (There's a link there to the page above, too.)

Sandra

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