Carlee Singh

My 16 month old daughter has playmates that hit and kick her. She doesn't
seem bothered. She makes no noise, doesn't push them away, etc. I'm
uncomfortable with her receiving this treatment, but I don't say or do
anything because I want my daughter to be free to form her own reaction.
And, I allow the "hitter's" mother to handle the situation.

However, I don't "feel good" about my passivity. But, I don't know what
else to do.

What would you do?
Thank you for your advice.


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Bob Collier

--- In [email protected], Carlee Singh <curiositycubed@...> wrote:
>
> My 16 month old daughter has playmates that hit and kick her. She doesn't
> seem bothered. She makes no noise, doesn't push them away, etc. I'm
> uncomfortable with her receiving this treatment, but I don't say or do
> anything because I want my daughter to be free to form her own reaction.
> And, I allow the "hitter's" mother to handle the situation.
>
> However, I don't "feel good" about my passivity. But, I don't know what
> else to do.
>
> What would you do?




Intercede. If I was uncomfortable with watching my daughter getting pummelled, I wouldn't be waiting for her to ask for help and I wouldn't leave it to somebody else to handle the situation.

Bob

Sandra Dodd

-=-However, I don't "feel good" about my passivity. But, I don't know
what
else to do.

-=-What would you do?-=-

If it's baby-hitting, it's not hurting her, she's not falling over,
maybe passivity is okay.

But if the hitting is real aggression or danger, think of what you
would do if a total stranger came up to her and did that.

-=-I want my daughter to be free to form her own reaction.-=-

This seems on the surface to make sense. You want her to decide
whether she likes opera or sushi on her own. But while she's so young
and you're her protector, I don't think she should be wondering how to
react to being kicked or hit (unless she were being trained to accept
abusive behavior for marriage in an abusive culture, maybe).

"Don't kick" or "Don't hit" seem like good starting moves. Then if
the other mother doesn't help you with the situation, don't feel at
all bad about a really sharp scary "I said DON'T."

Unschooling neither gives anyone special rights, nor does it remove
any natural rights from people. If thinking about unschooling or any
special parenting philosophy is keeping you from protecting your
child, then that's too much thinking and too little being in the
moment directly.


Sandra

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