"hey mom, what's school?"
dapsign
A couple of weeks ago, Logan (4 next month) and I were having lunch at a nearby restaurant and looking out the window. A school bus drove by which led to his question, "hey mom, what's school?" I told him that school is a place that some parents send their kids to during the day to learn stuff. He then asked me what kind of things are in school, to which I told him desks, teachers, other kids, books, etc.
I tried to be as neutral as possible when answering his questions but I'm wondering if I am being neutral. For any of you who's kids didn't go to school, how did you answer their questions? A lot of random strangers have been asking Logan if he goes to school or when he will be going and he gives them a blank stare. I usually say he doesn't go to school and leave it at that (he's not yet 4!). In the back of my mind, I'm a smidgen nervous that he might want to go, although he's pretty afraid of big groups of kids and doesn't like to be apart from me.
Maybe I'm over-thinking the whole thing.
Dina
I tried to be as neutral as possible when answering his questions but I'm wondering if I am being neutral. For any of you who's kids didn't go to school, how did you answer their questions? A lot of random strangers have been asking Logan if he goes to school or when he will be going and he gives them a blank stare. I usually say he doesn't go to school and leave it at that (he's not yet 4!). In the back of my mind, I'm a smidgen nervous that he might want to go, although he's pretty afraid of big groups of kids and doesn't like to be apart from me.
Maybe I'm over-thinking the whole thing.
Dina
Pam Sorooshian
On 7/1/2010 5:03 PM, dapsign wrote:
bothering her that the neighbor kids were constantly talking about their
teachers. By spring, I was a little concerned she'd want to go to school
just for that. But we signed her up for a 5-day, 2 hours per day, nature
center class during spring break time and that was all she needed. She
didn't even go every day. But she talked about "My Teacher" for a couple
of years after that.
-pam
> I tried to be as neutral as possibleTry to be as informative as possible.
> when answering his questions but I'm wondering if I am being neutral.During the year Rosie would have been going to kindergarten, it was
> For any of you who's kids didn't go to school, how did you answer
> their questions? A lot of random strangers have been asking Logan if
> he goes to school or when he will be going and he gives them a blank
> stare. I usually say he doesn't go to school and leave it at that
> (he's not yet 4!). In the back of my mind, I'm a smidgen nervous that
> he might want to go, although he's pretty afraid of big groups of kids
> and doesn't like to be apart from me.
bothering her that the neighbor kids were constantly talking about their
teachers. By spring, I was a little concerned she'd want to go to school
just for that. But we signed her up for a 5-day, 2 hours per day, nature
center class during spring break time and that was all she needed. She
didn't even go every day. But she talked about "My Teacher" for a couple
of years after that.
-pam
shirlinda_momof3
I have 3 kids, 11, 7, 6 who have never been to school. We found this book last year and it has really been good for them. It helped them respond to the ever-present questions about grade level, schools, etc. Search unschool at Amazon and you will find a few children's books. This one is specifically for unschoolers.
I Am Learning All the Time by Rain Perry Fordyce, Rain Fordyce, and Audrey Anne Miles Cherney (Perfect Paperback - Oct. 31, 2008)
I Am Learning All the Time by Rain Perry Fordyce, Rain Fordyce, and Audrey Anne Miles Cherney (Perfect Paperback - Oct. 31, 2008)
--- In [email protected], "dapsign" <dapsign@...> wrote:
>
> A couple of weeks ago, Logan (4 next month) and I were having lunch at a nearby restaurant and looking out the window. A school bus drove by which led to his question, "hey mom, what's school?" I told him that school is a place that some parents send their kids to during the day to learn stuff. He then asked me what kind of things are in school, to which I told him desks, teachers, other kids, books, etc.
>
> I tried to be as neutral as possible when answering his questions but I'm wondering if I am being neutral. For any of you who's kids didn't go to school, how did you answer their questions? A lot of random strangers have been asking Logan if he goes to school or when he will be going and he gives them a blank stare. I usually say he doesn't go to school and leave it at that (he's not yet 4!). In the back of my mind, I'm a smidgen nervous that he might want to go, although he's pretty afraid of big groups of kids and doesn't like to be apart from me.
>
> Maybe I'm over-thinking the whole thing.
>
> Dina
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-This one is specifically for unschoolers. I Am Learning All the
Time by Rain Perry Fordyce,...-=-
http://authentictimes.blogspot.com/2009/03/authentic-family-living.html
The author wrote the book to make money off unschoolers. She decided
quickly and early on that she wasn't an unschooler. At that point she
was already set up to speak at conference, and she did, and it had
nothing at all to do with unschooling. I was dismayed that she had
used that book to get a foot in the door (and make some money) but
that it didn't reflect her beliefs or practices.
I did let this post through, and I bought a copy of the book when it
was new, thinking I was being supportive of another unschooling family.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Time by Rain Perry Fordyce,...-=-
http://authentictimes.blogspot.com/2009/03/authentic-family-living.html
The author wrote the book to make money off unschoolers. She decided
quickly and early on that she wasn't an unschooler. At that point she
was already set up to speak at conference, and she did, and it had
nothing at all to do with unschooling. I was dismayed that she had
used that book to get a foot in the door (and make some money) but
that it didn't reflect her beliefs or practices.
I did let this post through, and I bought a copy of the book when it
was new, thinking I was being supportive of another unschooling family.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Amanda's Shoebox
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
What did she speak about?
>######################################################################
> At that point she was already set up to speak at conference, and she did, and it had nothing at all to do with unschooling.
What did she speak about?
Sandra Dodd
-=What did she speak about?-=-
Making a contract with your inner child to go away and leave you alone.
It didn't sound at all like the path to wholeness or acceptance or
healing. I've seen lots of people come to peace with childhood hurts
and sorrow by being good parents, and by being more integrated within
themselves, rather than compartmentalized.
This presentation had to do with compartmentalization and then divorce/
separation from the child. Not healthy, in my experience.
Holly and I were the middle of the group at the wall farthest from the
doors, and she was disturbed and antsy first. If it had been a video,
she would already have paused it and been saying "WHAT!?" And she was
17.
Pam came in before we left, and sat in the front near a door. She
stayed, but didn't really want to.
There's a negative about someone who's also a speaker going to another
speaker's talk. If you want to leave, it's noticed. So I felt bad
for her that we were getting up and leaving, and hoped it would get
better, but I don't think it did.
Also she refused to allow it to be recorded (as other speakers' talks
were recorded), because it's a service for sale, this "contract."
I don't like unschooling conferences being a platform for people's
"therapy" businesses, for lots of reasons. I think all the
discussions should be by unschoolers and about unschooling. Sometimes
there are sensible exceptions, but when the person has already
declared "NOT an unschooler" in public (even a barely-read blog is in
public), AND is not talking about unschooling and it's something that
will do more harm than good to the parent of a young child, I'm
saddened.
For the several-eth time lately, I rejected a request for someone to
post something on this list that wasn't about unschooling, really. It
was a questionnaire/survey about how kids learned their times tables.
There was something similar the other day, some study or putative
research. No, I said. Not appropriate. Not the purpose of the
list. The reason there IS a list that stays on topic (95% of the
time or more, I think) is that I have been unwilling to wander off and
say "whatever." A dozen other lists have been either abandoned at one
time or another and picked up by others with different beliefs and
priorities, or the owners find themselves too "friendly" to say no to
people who are being "friendly" and it becomes a wad of friendly vague
friendliness.
I'm unwilling to gather unschoolers together and then offer them up to
be measured or tested.
Maybe one line parents could offer their kids is "My parents don't
believe in testing."
That will answer a lot of questions. And if the questioner starts on
"How do you spell..." or "What's XtimesWhatever" or "What's the
capital of South Dakota?" The kid can say, "Are you testing me? My
parents don't believe in testing." Whether they know the answer or
not, it's not anyone else's business whether they know that, unless
the other person is offering them a job for money spelling or
multiplying or knowing the capital of South Dakota.
They wouldn't ask their adult friends, unless they actually needed to
know.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Making a contract with your inner child to go away and leave you alone.
It didn't sound at all like the path to wholeness or acceptance or
healing. I've seen lots of people come to peace with childhood hurts
and sorrow by being good parents, and by being more integrated within
themselves, rather than compartmentalized.
This presentation had to do with compartmentalization and then divorce/
separation from the child. Not healthy, in my experience.
Holly and I were the middle of the group at the wall farthest from the
doors, and she was disturbed and antsy first. If it had been a video,
she would already have paused it and been saying "WHAT!?" And she was
17.
Pam came in before we left, and sat in the front near a door. She
stayed, but didn't really want to.
There's a negative about someone who's also a speaker going to another
speaker's talk. If you want to leave, it's noticed. So I felt bad
for her that we were getting up and leaving, and hoped it would get
better, but I don't think it did.
Also she refused to allow it to be recorded (as other speakers' talks
were recorded), because it's a service for sale, this "contract."
I don't like unschooling conferences being a platform for people's
"therapy" businesses, for lots of reasons. I think all the
discussions should be by unschoolers and about unschooling. Sometimes
there are sensible exceptions, but when the person has already
declared "NOT an unschooler" in public (even a barely-read blog is in
public), AND is not talking about unschooling and it's something that
will do more harm than good to the parent of a young child, I'm
saddened.
For the several-eth time lately, I rejected a request for someone to
post something on this list that wasn't about unschooling, really. It
was a questionnaire/survey about how kids learned their times tables.
There was something similar the other day, some study or putative
research. No, I said. Not appropriate. Not the purpose of the
list. The reason there IS a list that stays on topic (95% of the
time or more, I think) is that I have been unwilling to wander off and
say "whatever." A dozen other lists have been either abandoned at one
time or another and picked up by others with different beliefs and
priorities, or the owners find themselves too "friendly" to say no to
people who are being "friendly" and it becomes a wad of friendly vague
friendliness.
I'm unwilling to gather unschoolers together and then offer them up to
be measured or tested.
Maybe one line parents could offer their kids is "My parents don't
believe in testing."
That will answer a lot of questions. And if the questioner starts on
"How do you spell..." or "What's XtimesWhatever" or "What's the
capital of South Dakota?" The kid can say, "Are you testing me? My
parents don't believe in testing." Whether they know the answer or
not, it's not anyone else's business whether they know that, unless
the other person is offering them a job for money spelling or
multiplying or knowing the capital of South Dakota.
They wouldn't ask their adult friends, unless they actually needed to
know.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
On 7/7/2010 1:06 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
that if I whisper something to someone sitting next to me the speaker
might notice and think I'm commenting on them. I'm more likely saying,
"I need to go to the bathroom right after this," because I don't feel
like I can get up and go out without possibly seeming to insult the
speaker.
-pam
> There's a negative about someone who's also a speaker going to anotherWhen I'm a speaker and watching another speaker's talk, I always worry
> speaker's talk. If you want to leave, it's noticed.
that if I whisper something to someone sitting next to me the speaker
might notice and think I'm commenting on them. I'm more likely saying,
"I need to go to the bathroom right after this," because I don't feel
like I can get up and go out without possibly seeming to insult the
speaker.
-pam
NCMama
=-=They wouldn't ask their adult friends, unless they actually needed to know.=-=
And if their adult friend didn't know the answer to their question, most people wouldn't then assume their friend had not been "taught" properly; it would just be something their friend didn't know, or had forgotten - unlike when people quiz kids, when an "I don't know" means the child has been horribly disadvantaged by unschooling.
Oy. It makes me think about testing: WHEN will someone be completely stranded, alone, without phone access and unable to look up information, and to know the 'right' answer *right then* will be vital?! WHY can't kids look up answers to test questions? WHY can't they ask for help? No one lives their general real lives that way. Highly specialized workers do, sometimes, where they need to have been tested to know they know. (I'm thinking of surgeons.) But for most folks? The answer is nearly always close, and almost never vitally important in one second. Tests have nothing to do with most of real life. Unless you're in school.
Sandra, I've never heard the "My parents don't believe in testing" response before. I LOVE that!
Caren
And if their adult friend didn't know the answer to their question, most people wouldn't then assume their friend had not been "taught" properly; it would just be something their friend didn't know, or had forgotten - unlike when people quiz kids, when an "I don't know" means the child has been horribly disadvantaged by unschooling.
Oy. It makes me think about testing: WHEN will someone be completely stranded, alone, without phone access and unable to look up information, and to know the 'right' answer *right then* will be vital?! WHY can't kids look up answers to test questions? WHY can't they ask for help? No one lives their general real lives that way. Highly specialized workers do, sometimes, where they need to have been tested to know they know. (I'm thinking of surgeons.) But for most folks? The answer is nearly always close, and almost never vitally important in one second. Tests have nothing to do with most of real life. Unless you're in school.
Sandra, I've never heard the "My parents don't believe in testing" response before. I LOVE that!
Caren