Speaking of List Etiquette - Thank Yous
Amanda's Shoebox
I understand it is not appropriate to thank someone on this list for their posts.
Does anyone mind receiving personal off-list thank yous?
Sometimes I read things that make me think differently or realize something I had never previously considered. My gut instant reaction in that moment is to say, "wow, thanks!" ... then I remember that that's a no-no for this list.
Would it be in bad taste to email a "thank you" off-list?
~ Amanda
Does anyone mind receiving personal off-list thank yous?
Sometimes I read things that make me think differently or realize something I had never previously considered. My gut instant reaction in that moment is to say, "wow, thanks!" ... then I remember that that's a no-no for this list.
Would it be in bad taste to email a "thank you" off-list?
~ Amanda
alexandriapalonia
I label my offlist posts to individuals as being offlist so that the recipient knows, before opening it, that's what they're receiving.
I can't imagine someone being upset for a personal thank-you offlist. I've received a few nasty grams along the way that I would have rather just had onlist -- but I can't see someone being distressed or put out for a thank you.
Andrea
I can't imagine someone being upset for a personal thank-you offlist. I've received a few nasty grams along the way that I would have rather just had onlist -- but I can't see someone being distressed or put out for a thank you.
Andrea
--- In [email protected], "Amanda's Shoebox" <amandasshoebox@...> wrote:
>
> I understand it is not appropriate to thank someone on this list for their posts.
>
> Does anyone mind receiving personal off-list thank yous?
>
> Sometimes I read things that make me think differently or realize something I had never previously considered. My gut instant reaction in that moment is to say, "wow, thanks!" ... then I remember that that's a no-no for this list.
>
> Would it be in bad taste to email a "thank you" off-list?
>
> ~ Amanda
>
Su Penn
On Jul 1, 2010, at 10:02 AM, Amanda's Shoebox wrote:
Su
> Would it be in bad taste to email a "thank you" off-list?I have both received and sent such thank-yous, and it feels nice to get them and nobody has complained about getting one from me.
Su
Robin Bentley
>I'm with Su.
>> Would it be in bad taste to email a "thank you" off-list?
>
> I have both received and sent such thank-yous, and it feels nice to
> get them and nobody has complained about getting one from me.
>
Robin B.
Robin Bentley
Sorry, I sent that before I finished writing.
When I get a thank you note, it sometimes starts additional
conversation on the side. Ideas get clarified even further for the
note-sender. Sometimes, I can give additional information that might
clog up the list (local stuff, state-specific info).
It can be mutually beneficial in unrelated-to-unschooling ways;
finding common interest on other subjects, making plans to visit,
becoming Facebook friends <g>.
Robin B.
When I get a thank you note, it sometimes starts additional
conversation on the side. Ideas get clarified even further for the
note-sender. Sometimes, I can give additional information that might
clog up the list (local stuff, state-specific info).
It can be mutually beneficial in unrelated-to-unschooling ways;
finding common interest on other subjects, making plans to visit,
becoming Facebook friends <g>.
Robin B.
>>
>> I have both received and sent such thank-yous, and it feels nice to
>> get them and nobody has complained about getting one from me.
>>
> I'm with Su.
>
> Robin B.
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-Sometimes I read things that make me think differently or realize
something I had never previously considered. My gut instant reaction
in that moment is to say, "wow, thanks!" ... then I remember that
that's a no-no for this list. -=-
I don't mind anyone saying "Wow, thanks!" as long as they go on to
write things that will be beneficial to others. "Thanks" can be
incorporated into some details or an interesting story--some specifics
about why it's a "wow, thanks" situation. (Not "wow, thanks; I
didn't know that; this is very interesting.")
I've been on lists where people post whole posts, with appended other
posts, that say "OMG" or WTF!? or LOL or My Dog just FARTED!!
I got a note a bit ago that said "You have created a clear, deep lake
of unschooling knowledge..." and that's pretty sweet.
What makes it clear is that it's not muddied up with chit-chat.
Writing to someone on the side of a list isn't about list etiquette so
much as about real-world etiquette, with an exception I'll mention in
a minute.
If after someone gives a speech in public you want to sidle up to him
or her and shake hands and say "That was a really great speech," or
"I'm so glad you mentioned... [something specific] that's cool.
Following that same person home and threatening him is NOT at all cool.
In between those two are a range of possibilities. Offering to take
him for coffee; handing him a business card; introducing him to
friends of yours (which he might appreciate or might be bugging him;
depends, and some people can read that better than others).
Some lists are just for chit chat and dog farts and recipes and "So...
what are you making for dinner?" kinds of conversations. In those
cases, if two people disagree about something, it's accepted for the
list owner to suggest that if they want to discuss that (politics/
religion/ethics) they should take it off list. It's like sending
teenaged boys out of of the bar if they want to fight. It's so the
glassware and chairs won't get broken.
This particular room/list is designed for discussions of ethics and
principles, so it's more appropriate to keep the discussions of those
things on the list, because others came here to read those things.
If someone asks a question and one list member answers it offline
rather than on the list, that's suspicious to me.
But if someone says "I'm in Albuquerque, and..." I'm likely to write
and try to hook her up with something or someone local!
So it's quite an "it depends" situation.
Will the communication be welcome? Will it help or hurt the
discussion and purpose of the list to take the discussion away?
There have been times in the past when the moderator of a discussion
list has said "you two should take this off list" when someone else
was being insanely abusive of me. I had way less interest in being
abused and insulted in private than I did in public.
If I find out anyone has gone off list here to be abusive, I would be
glad to throw the abuser off the list.
I don't think anyone would mind a thank-you note.
I also don't think it's necessary. When people write here I'm pretty
sure they know people are grateful for good ideas!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
something I had never previously considered. My gut instant reaction
in that moment is to say, "wow, thanks!" ... then I remember that
that's a no-no for this list. -=-
I don't mind anyone saying "Wow, thanks!" as long as they go on to
write things that will be beneficial to others. "Thanks" can be
incorporated into some details or an interesting story--some specifics
about why it's a "wow, thanks" situation. (Not "wow, thanks; I
didn't know that; this is very interesting.")
I've been on lists where people post whole posts, with appended other
posts, that say "OMG" or WTF!? or LOL or My Dog just FARTED!!
I got a note a bit ago that said "You have created a clear, deep lake
of unschooling knowledge..." and that's pretty sweet.
What makes it clear is that it's not muddied up with chit-chat.
Writing to someone on the side of a list isn't about list etiquette so
much as about real-world etiquette, with an exception I'll mention in
a minute.
If after someone gives a speech in public you want to sidle up to him
or her and shake hands and say "That was a really great speech," or
"I'm so glad you mentioned... [something specific] that's cool.
Following that same person home and threatening him is NOT at all cool.
In between those two are a range of possibilities. Offering to take
him for coffee; handing him a business card; introducing him to
friends of yours (which he might appreciate or might be bugging him;
depends, and some people can read that better than others).
Some lists are just for chit chat and dog farts and recipes and "So...
what are you making for dinner?" kinds of conversations. In those
cases, if two people disagree about something, it's accepted for the
list owner to suggest that if they want to discuss that (politics/
religion/ethics) they should take it off list. It's like sending
teenaged boys out of of the bar if they want to fight. It's so the
glassware and chairs won't get broken.
This particular room/list is designed for discussions of ethics and
principles, so it's more appropriate to keep the discussions of those
things on the list, because others came here to read those things.
If someone asks a question and one list member answers it offline
rather than on the list, that's suspicious to me.
But if someone says "I'm in Albuquerque, and..." I'm likely to write
and try to hook her up with something or someone local!
So it's quite an "it depends" situation.
Will the communication be welcome? Will it help or hurt the
discussion and purpose of the list to take the discussion away?
There have been times in the past when the moderator of a discussion
list has said "you two should take this off list" when someone else
was being insanely abusive of me. I had way less interest in being
abused and insulted in private than I did in public.
If I find out anyone has gone off list here to be abusive, I would be
glad to throw the abuser off the list.
I don't think anyone would mind a thank-you note.
I also don't think it's necessary. When people write here I'm pretty
sure they know people are grateful for good ideas!
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I can't imagine someone being upset for a personal thank-you
offlist-=-
Me neither, but if it goes on from thank you to request lengthy
discussion or personal answers, that can be a problem.
Joining this list isn't an agreement to answer questions privately.
So that's back to everyday, real-life courtesy.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
offlist-=-
Me neither, but if it goes on from thank you to request lengthy
discussion or personal answers, that can be a problem.
Joining this list isn't an agreement to answer questions privately.
So that's back to everyday, real-life courtesy.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]