Sandra Dodd

[my friend whose kids are a little older than Kirby] "... is off to
get a pedicure with her daughter. Eventually (mid-20s or so), your
children turn into people you enjoy spending time with, because they
no longer think you're an idiot. (Love you, pumpkin!)"


There it is on my facebook page and all, for all our friends to see,
but luckily most of our friends aren't unschoolers. I've known her
since I was 24 and she was 20 or so, and have, occasionally over the
years, suggested gently that he was doing damage to the relationship,
and didn't need to be such a hard case.

It wouldn't make her feel any better for me to mention my kids there.
She knows we get along. She thinks it's an abberation with no cause
whatsoever, that I got along with my kids.

I'm grateful that my children have always been people I enjoyed
spending time with, and still do.
I'm glad my children never thought I was an idiot.

I hope people reading here who are doing anything that will translate
to "my mom seems to be an idiot" (or my dad) will reconsider the
consequences.

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Halldorson

++++I'm grateful that my children have always been people I enjoyed
spending time with, and still do.
I'm glad my children never thought I was an idiot.

I hope people reading here who are doing anything that will translate
to "my mom seems to be an idiot" (or my dad) will reconsider the
consequences.++++

Tonight my 13 year old walked up to me and hugged me out of the blue and said, "You are the best mother in the world" --- this is the third such time he has said something to that effect this week. And all three times were completely random.

My 12 year old daughter hugged me as we were getting out of the car an hour ago and said, "Thank-you for being my mother. I mean I didn't have any choice in the matter but if I did....I wouldn't have picked anyone else. So, thank-you."

The last one is a variation on something I've said *to* her since she was little, very little. I've always randomly hugged them and said, "thank-you so much for being my kid. I love you." My mother used to tell me, "I should have given you up for adoption." I never wanted my kids to hear that...so I turned it around from the beginning.

It feels amazing to be loved so genuinely at the same time I'm seeing kids I know my kids age joining facebook groups called "I hate my parents"

peace,
Kelly




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

debbiernoll

=== I'm grateful that my children have always been people I enjoyed
spending time with, and still do.
I'm glad my children never thought I was an idiot.===

I am so grateful that I found unschooling when I did. It has completely changed my relationship with my 12 year old daughter. I think we were headed down a rough road before this. Last night in the car her friend was talking about some friends from school and the relationships they have with their mothers, fighting, screaming, sneaking, lying, one step-mother even had her daughter arrested! After hearing all this my daughter said "Wow! Mom, I'm glad you're not like that. You're like my friend."

She often will come up and hug me out of the blue, even in public. She loves spending time with her Dad and I. There's no eye rolling, no "I hate you!", no "you're ruining my life!", no "but everybody else's parents...." She's watching me admit and deal with my weakness and it's helping her recognize and deal with hers. The growth and maturity that I've watched in her, simply because I've been willing to sit back and allow her to blossom, is amazing!

Thank you to all of you who are willing to share your insight and experiences to help us love our kids better!

Debbie

Tina Tarbutton

I'm just now hitting the age (30 this year) where some of my friends are
starting to have pre-teen and young teen aged kids. The comments they make
on facebook really bother me, to the point that I'm considering removing a
few of those people because it's hard for me NOT to comment about how mean
and hurtful their comments are. At what point do you decide the negative
attitude these people have towards their children, isn't
worth poisoning yourself with?

Tina

On Fri, Jun 18, 2010 at 11:52 PM, Kelly Halldorson <kelly@...>wrote:

>
>
>
> ++++I'm grateful that my children have always been people I enjoyed
> spending time with, and still do.
> I'm glad my children never thought I was an idiot.
>
> I hope people reading here who are doing anything that will translate
> to "my mom seems to be an idiot" (or my dad) will reconsider the
> consequences.++++
>
> Tonight my 13 year old walked up to me and hugged me out of the blue and
> said, "You are the best mother in the world" --- this is the third such time
> he has said something to that effect this week. And all three times were
> completely random.
>
> My 12 year old daughter hugged me as we were getting out of the car an hour
> ago and said, "Thank-you for being my mother. I mean I didn't have any
> choice in the matter but if I did....I wouldn't have picked anyone else. So,
> thank-you."
>
> The last one is a variation on something I've said *to* her since she was
> little, very little. I've always randomly hugged them and said, "thank-you
> so much for being my kid. I love you." My mother used to tell me, "I should
> have given you up for adoption." I never wanted my kids to hear that...so I
> turned it around from the beginning.
>
> It feels amazing to be loved so genuinely at the same time I'm seeing kids
> I know my kids age joining facebook groups called "I hate my parents"
>
> peace,
> Kelly
>
>
> Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest . Unsubscribe . Terms of Use.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Halldorson

+++ The comments they make
on facebook really bother me, to the point that I'm considering removing a
few of those people because it's hard for me NOT to comment about how mean
and hurtful their comments are. +++

You could just "hide" them in your feed. Un-friending them could end up causing a lot of unwanted strife.

Or comment...just be extremely mindful or make a lighthearted comment in reply that makes a more positive statement?

+++At what point do you decide the negative
attitude these people have towards their children, isn't
worth poisoning yourself with?+++

If it's poisoning you...stop.

If you can manage and spread love and positivity. Keep them. If you can be a positive adult in the children's lives...all the better, at least that's my perspective.

Peace,
Kelly


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

On the homepage where your newsfeed is, hover the mouse to the right
of the name of these people who saying upsetting things. The word
"hide" appears in a box. Click it and that person's statuses, links
etc will drop out of your newsfeed.

If you want to post things you don't want their comments about there's
a lock icon next to the "share" button that can be customized to hide
your statuses, links etc from would be commenters.

~Katherine

On 6/19/10, Tina Tarbutton <tina.tarbutton@...> wrote:
> I'm just now hitting the age (30 this year) where some of my friends are
> starting to have pre-teen and young teen aged kids. The comments they make
> on facebook really bother me, to the point that I'm considering removing a
> few of those people because it's hard for me NOT to comment about how mean
> and hurtful their comments are. At what point do you decide the negative
> attitude these people have towards their children, isn't
> worth poisoning yourself with?
>
> Tina
>
> On Fri, Jun 18, 2010 at 11:52 PM, Kelly Halldorson
> <kelly@...>wrote:
>
>>
>>
>>
>> ++++I'm grateful that my children have always been people I enjoyed
>> spending time with, and still do.
>> I'm glad my children never thought I was an idiot.
>>
>> I hope people reading here who are doing anything that will translate
>> to "my mom seems to be an idiot" (or my dad) will reconsider the
>> consequences.++++
>>
>> Tonight my 13 year old walked up to me and hugged me out of the blue and
>> said, "You are the best mother in the world" --- this is the third such
>> time
>> he has said something to that effect this week. And all three times were
>> completely random.
>>
>> My 12 year old daughter hugged me as we were getting out of the car an
>> hour
>> ago and said, "Thank-you for being my mother. I mean I didn't have any
>> choice in the matter but if I did....I wouldn't have picked anyone else.
>> So,
>> thank-you."
>>
>> The last one is a variation on something I've said *to* her since she was
>> little, very little. I've always randomly hugged them and said, "thank-you
>> so much for being my kid. I love you." My mother used to tell me, "I
>> should
>> have given you up for adoption." I never wanted my kids to hear that...so
>> I
>> turned it around from the beginning.
>>
>> It feels amazing to be loved so genuinely at the same time I'm seeing kids
>> I know my kids age joining facebook groups called "I hate my parents"
>>
>> peace,
>> Kelly
>>
>>
>> Switch to: Text-Only, Daily Digest . Unsubscribe . Terms of Use.
>>
>>
>> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>>
>>
>>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>

Pam Sorooshian

On 6/19/2010 9:43 AM, Tina Tarbutton wrote:
> At what point do you decide the negative
> attitude these people have towards their children, isn't
> worth poisoning yourself with?

Can you respond with some kind of nice statement about their kid?

-pam


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenny Cyphers

***At what point do you decide the negative
attitude these people have towards their children, isn't
worth poisoning yourself with?***

I have a really good friend who went through that with her daughter. I distanced myself greatly. Now, things have evened out a bit and the mom doesn't do this so much anymore and it's way easier to spend time together, so we do. I was willing to ride it out and let it go and keep away forever if necessary.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

Ha... so I found out that Facebook settings do not always work for
what *I* post. The "hide" function works well tho. So far so good.

~Katherine




On 6/19/10, k <katherand@...> wrote:
> On the homepage where your newsfeed is, hover the mouse to the right
> of the name of these people who saying upsetting things. The word
> "hide" appears in a box. Click it and that person's statuses, links
> etc will drop out of your newsfeed.
>
> If you want to post things you don't want their comments about there's
> a lock icon next to the "share" button that can be customized to hide
> your statuses, links etc from would be commenters.
>
> ~Katherine
>
> On 6/19/10, Tina Tarbutton <tina.tarbutton@...> wrote:
>> I'm just now hitting the age (30 this year) where some of my friends are
>> starting to have pre-teen and young teen aged kids. The comments they
>> make on facebook really bother me, to the point that I'm considering removing
>> a few of those people because it's hard for me NOT to comment about how
>> mean and hurtful their comments are. At what point do you decide the negative
>> attitude these people have towards their children, isn't
>> worth poisoning yourself with?
>>
>> Tina