Elizabeth Hill

 

SandraDodd@... wrote:

 
As some of you come across and watch the new Nintendo Game Cube game Monkeyball, watch what fine movement is required to go through those mazes.  I watched Kirby and Marty play it the first time they picked it up and thought "This will make them better drivers."


I must be a lot grumpier than you by nature.

When I'm out on the freeway, and people are whizzing by me and cutting in front of me with tiny margins for error, I'm often heard to mutter "These people learned to drive playing Nintendo and haven't figured out that this freeway doesn't HAVE a Restart button."

Betsy

Cindy

Sandra wrote :
> As some of you come across and watch the new Nintendo Game Cube game Monkeyball, watch what fine movement is required to go through
> those mazes. I watched Kirby and Marty play it the first time they picked it up and thought "This will make them better drivers."

I'll have to look at that one. We have two games for the Game Cube and
I'm looking for something my children (6 & 4) could play. We have
Jet Race and Luigi's Mansion. (No choice : Nintendo gave the system
and the games to my husband since he was part of the team which designed it.)

I'm impressed with the system. When I was last working fulltime (7 years
ago) a system with those capabilities cost tens of thousands of dollars.
Now you can get it for a lot less!

--

Cindy Ferguson
crma@...

Elizabeth Hill

 

SandraDodd@... wrote:

In a message dated 11/27/01 11:39:46 AM Mountain Standard Time, ecsamhill@... writes:
 
 
Does anyone have insight into where satisfaction at a job well done comes from?  Can it only be destroyed by being a perfectionist, or are there other ways it might be undermined?

That's a topic about the size of the universe, I think.


Yeah, I think I either need to crack some books on philosophy, or get a scenic Greek hillside, some togas and grapes and cheese and start up a nice Socratic dialog.

Betsy

Elizabeth Hill

groundhoggirl wrote:

>
> Hi Pam,
>
> I know exactly what you're talking about. I have suffered from severe perfectionism ever since I can remember. I've had several failures in my life because of it, including flunking out of 2 colleges, one of which was a very fine Ivy League school. Perfectionism can truly paralyze you. A bad case of perfectionism along with clinical depression and very poor self-esteem can really mess you up. I'm 42 now and I'm much more relaxed. My house is still a total mess, but even that is getting better too.

This isn't exactly brave or empowered of me, but I like to blame some of my perfectionism on the school system.

There's something about testing, and grades and answers marked wrong in red that contributes to building perfectionism. I especially don't like the idea that you are tested at one point in time, and if you don't know the answer at that moment, then you are wrong forever. That seems to imply that you might as well not bother knowing it later. Because you don't know something yet, you are downgraded in perpetuity.

Betsy

groundhoggirl

On Tuesday, November 27, 2001, at 08:50 PM, Elizabeth Hill wrote:

>
>
> groundhoggirl wrote:
>
> >
> > Hi Pam,
> >
> > I know exactly what you're talking about. I have suffered from severe
> perfectionism ever since I can remember. I've had several failures in
> my life because of it, including flunking out of 2 colleges, one of
> which was a very fine Ivy League school. Perfectionism can truly
> paralyze you. A bad case of perfectionism along with clinical
> depression and very poor self-esteem can really mess you up. I'm 42 now
> and I'm much more relaxed. My house is still a total mess, but even
> that is getting better too.
>
> This isn't exactly brave or empowered of me, but I like to blame some
> of my perfectionism on the school system.
>
> There's something about testing, and grades and answers marked wrong in
> red that contributes to building perfectionism.  I especially don't
> like the idea that you are tested at one point in time, and if you
> don't know the answer at that moment, then you are wrong forever.  That
> seems to imply that you might as well not bother knowing it later. 
> Because you don't know something yet, you are downgraded in perpetuity.
>
> Betsy
>
Hi Betsy,

Yes, I totally agree. All of that can be very damaging to a child.
And, depending on the individual, of course, deschooling may take years
and some of the damage done is irreparable. But, from personal
experience, I believe that what happens, or doesn't happen, between a
child and the parent(s) can have a much more severe impact on the psyche
of a child.

Mimi

>
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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>
>
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.

Tia Leschke

>
>There's something about testing, and grades and answers marked wrong in
>red that contributes to building perfectionism.

I'm not into assigning worksheets and stuff like that, but I read about
someone who marked mistakes on kids' work with a circled LO for learning
opportunity. It's a step, anyway.
Tia

Tia Leschke leschke@...
On Vancouver Island
********************************************************************************************
It is the answers which separate us, the questions which unite us. - Janice
Levy

Cindy

groundhoggirl wrote:
>
> I know exactly what you're talking about. I have suffered from severe perfectionism ever since I can remember. I've had several failures in my life because of it, including flunking out of 2 colleges, one of which was a very fine Ivy League school. Perfectionism can truly paralyze you. A bad case of perfectionism along with clinical depression and very poor self-esteem can really mess you up. I'm 42 now and I'm much more relaxed. My house is still a total mess, but even that is getting better too.
>
I know that some of my perfectionism stems from my family of origin. I
thought that if I did "it" perfectly my parents would love me. My
parents actually did me a big favor in one regard. I heard all my life
about how smart my dad was because he took physics in high school. I
vowed at a young age (8 or so) that I would take physics in high school
too and show him how smart I was. I did; I was/am good at that subject.
I still got ridiculed by him. But taking the math and other science
classes put me on a road to independence and I've only looked back in
order to overcome my past.

I've had depression to battle too and it can mess you up, I agree!

> With regard to my children, I make sure they understand that mistakes are a part of learning and I never make a big deal about them. I try never to criticize them and accept them just the way they are, no matter what that may be. I guess it's unconditional love and acceptance.
>
I am working on that with my children too. My daughter seems to be okay with
making mistakes. My son (who is younger) seems to have more difficulty. He
went thru a period of time where he wouldn't try to draw anything because she
or I could do it better. I would help him when he asked and now he's fine
with his drawing. He's 4; she's 6 and I hope they can both escape the
perfectionism I've had problems with.

--

Cindy Ferguson
crma@...

Elizabeth Hill

 

Cindy wrote:

 
I know that some of my perfectionism stems from my family of origin.  I
thought that if I did "it" perfectly my parents would love me.  My
parents actually did me a big favor in one regard.  I heard all my life
about how smart my dad was because he took physics in high school.  I
vowed at a young age (8 or so) that I would take physics in high school
too and show him how smart I was.  I did; I was/am good at that subject.
I still got ridiculed by him.  But taking the math and other science
classes put me on a road to independence and I've only looked back in
order to overcome my past.
My husband told me about some fairly interesting Psych research, that's obliquely related to what you are talking about.

They've done testing using online simulations of gambling (slot machines, I think), and found that the more variable the results, the more deeply hooked the player is.  (Measured by how long the test subject will chose to keep playing for the return offered.)

I can see how this applies to romantic relationships -- it explains the whole "playing hard to get concept".  (Which I loathe!)  It can probably be extended to apply to parents a little bit.

I'm struggling with my relationship with my dad right now.

Betsy