Vidyut Kale

Bob wrote:

<<<When I think about my children being "successful" adults what I mean by
> "success" is "doing what you set out to do". So "success" comes from the
> daily practice of doing what you set out to do, whether that's building
> something with Lego, baking a cake, writing a poem, or whatever.>>>


This really hits the nail on the head for me.

Discovering another way of looking at what I am doing. While I am not
directing my son toward success, the small things he does pave the way for
doing larger things. What they are doesn't matter as long as they are what
he wanted to do. It is the foundation of success rather than a topical fix.
Success wasn't really on my radar that unschooling principles would
naturally create an tendency for it and I wasn't concerned. These lines give
me a better understanding of how unschooling works in creating capable
people.

This clarity is welcome as we begin talking about unschooling in our family
and success is bound to be a big concern. Our family is very success
oriented. It is going to matter whether he is 'successful' and I was
wondering how I can reassure them that unschooline will only empower him to
achieve something he finds value in. I had been worried about how to address
concerns beyond "I feel certain that it won't be a problem" - does nothing
to help people arrive at that reassuring certainty. This insight into the
process will help me to articulate it as I understand it so that we can all
examine and talk about it.

Vidyut


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Sandra Dodd

-=-
<<<When I think about my children being "successful" adults what I
mean by
> "success" is "doing what you set out to do". So "success" comes
from the
> daily practice of doing what you set out to do, whether that's
building
> something with Lego, baking a cake, writing a poem, or whatever.>>>

-=-This really hits the nail on the head for me.-=-

What about the courage and skill to stop doing something that is no
longer rewarding or interesting, though? If I decide halfway through
a project that it's not a great use of my time and money and energy, I
don't want to feel that that makes me "unsuccessful" (or "failure).

I grew up that way, with "you have to finish what you start," but the
effect of that can be that people stop starting anything.

In the process-vs.-product way of thinking, some people want to have
hands-on knowledge of masonry, so working at it a few hours on someone
else's project is success, even if they didn't start or finish the
wall. I have a long-unfinished quilt. I inherited an unfinished
quilt from my grandmother. She made LOTS of finished quilts. I've
never finished one. I did help with one of hers. I set out to learn
more about quilts, so I feel successful. But I also set out to make a
quilt, and didn't finish.

I would hate to see unschoolers pressuring kids to finish a Lego
session or a poem just because he had started one.

Sandra

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k

>>>In the process-vs.-product way of thinking, some people want to have
hands-on knowledge of masonry, so working at it a few hours on someone
else's project is success, even if they didn't start or finish the
wall. I have a long-unfinished quilt. I inherited an unfinished
quilt from my grandmother. She made LOTS of finished quilts. I've
never finished one. I did help with one of hers. I set out to learn
more about quilts, so I feel successful. But I also set out to make a
quilt, and didn't finish.

>>>I would hate to see unschoolers pressuring kids to finish a Lego
session or a poem just because he had started one.<<<

This is a big reason I like to do things myself that Karl has expressed an
interest in even though he doesn't dive right in and do it for himself. He's
the kind of kid who (like I do myself) observes for a long while before
diving in. He benefits (and feeds off the success of being involved in
something someone else is doing). Some people learn a lot very easily that
way. Depends what it is. Other things he wants to do all by himself, even if
he doesn't know how to.

When we first started playing with Legos, Karl always wanted me to do the
assembly and now even tho he still wants me to do the initial assemblying,
he takes it apart in areas and remakes it his way. I have grown to like
Legos a lot more than I started out liking to and now Karl and I have
something we enjoy sharing together. We spent hours yesterday building and
playing with a new conglomeration.

~Katherine


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k

Hilarious typo. Oh well. lol It was funny.

~Katherine



On Mon, Apr 19, 2010 at 1:18 PM, k <katherand@...> wrote:

> >>>In the process-vs.-product way of thinking, some people want to have
> hands-on knowledge of masonry, so working at it a few hours on someone
> else's project is success, even if they didn't start or finish the
> wall. I have a long-unfinished quilt. I inherited an unfinished
> quilt from my grandmother. She made LOTS of finished quilts. I've
> never finished one. I did help with one of hers. I set out to learn
> more about quilts, so I feel successful. But I also set out to make a
> quilt, and didn't finish.
>
> >>>I would hate to see unschoolers pressuring kids to finish a Lego
> session or a poem just because he had started one.<<<
>
> This is a big reason I like to do things myself that Karl has expressed an
> interest in even though he doesn't dive right in and do it for himself. He's
> the kind of kid who (like I do myself) observes for a long while before
> diving in. He benefits (and feeds off the success of being involved in
> something someone else is doing). Some people learn a lot very easily that
> way. Depends what it is. Other things he wants to do all by himself, even if
> he doesn't know how to.
>
> When we first started playing with Legos, Karl always wanted me to do the
> assembly and now even tho he still wants me to do the initial assemblying,
> he takes it apart in areas and remakes it his way. I have grown to like
> Legos a lot more than I started out liking to and now Karl and I have
> something we enjoy sharing together. We spent hours yesterday building and
> playing with a new conglomeration.
>
> ~Katherine
>


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Vidyut Kale

"I would hate to see unschoolers pressuring kids to finish a Lego session or
a poem just because he had started one."

Yiiikes!!! That would be bad :D "lego your way to success in life (or else)"

I don't think its about completing everything so much as having an
experience of achieving what was desired (including the scrapping of
projects no more desirable). Doesn't need to be the only kind of experience
as long as its there to draw on, I think. Don't think it needs doing as long
as a child is free do stuff that can grow in magnitude with his/her desires.

Vidyut


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