Speech
Mary Hickcox
Hi all, I was wondering if anyone has any issues with speech delays and if you have any advice. I am worried about pushing him or making him feel worse about the problem. He is 6 almost 7 years old and is starting to feel uncomfortable with it as people are constantly asking what he is saying and some kids have even made fun of him (breaking heart:). He seems to have the most problem with th sounds but when he is excited even I can hardly understand him. I can't help but worry about it but am most concerned because he wants to work on it (asks me to help him) and I am not sure what to do. It seems to be that he doesn't move his mouth and tongue the correct way to make the right sound. Any ideas on exercises or a way to help him find peace with it (we already tell him that it's OK and that it will resolve in time but I can't help but think his frustration will diminish more quickly if I help him more proactively. Thanks in advance!
Mary mama to Dylan (10), Colin (6) and Theo Benjamin (2)
"Be who you want your children to be." Unknown "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." Buddha
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
Denis Diderot
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary mama to Dylan (10), Colin (6) and Theo Benjamin (2)
"Be who you want your children to be." Unknown "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." Buddha
"Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
Denis Diderot
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna
I had an unschooling friend whose son had a speech impediment. At 5 and 6 he was very difficult to understand, and it led to a lot of frustration. I think it was even leading to anxiety within the mom because she was fearful that there were autistic issues. When she did see a speech therapist, it was kind of a non-event, but a big relief. It turned out that he had a problem with the muscles at the front of his tongue, which had also prevented him from latching on and successfully nursing. They did mechanical exercises that he was fine with because it was fun and he really wanted to be understood.
For that boy the bad feelings that were created all the way around--his anger and frustration at not being understood and the mom's "hidden" anxieties--were so much more unhealthy than going to a speech therapist. He knew he couldn't speak clearly, so I don't think there was any labeling issue for him. They were in a homeschooling charter school at the time, so the school district paid for everything.
I think if you talk with your son and take his cues on this issue, you'll find your answers. Does he want to see someone who might be able to help him clear up his speech? If he is asking to work on it, you need to get some tools, one way or another. Perhaps you could suggest that you see someone together so that that person can point you in the right direction with helping him?
Do you know that his issues will resolve in time, or are you saying that to make him feel better? I'm really asking--because of the nature of my friend's son's issues, his weren't resolving, nor were they likely to without some help (which he probably could have gotten as an older person as well) but I'm sure that there are a host of issues that do--do you actually know? Another option I can think of is to see someone yourself for a consultation. The fact that your son is asking for help and you are worried and concerned means that you need to up your information level, and the problem with asking on a list like this is that no one knows your son and can say, "Yes! My kid had the same problem," because it may sound the same but have it's roots in something mechanically different.
Joanna
For that boy the bad feelings that were created all the way around--his anger and frustration at not being understood and the mom's "hidden" anxieties--were so much more unhealthy than going to a speech therapist. He knew he couldn't speak clearly, so I don't think there was any labeling issue for him. They were in a homeschooling charter school at the time, so the school district paid for everything.
I think if you talk with your son and take his cues on this issue, you'll find your answers. Does he want to see someone who might be able to help him clear up his speech? If he is asking to work on it, you need to get some tools, one way or another. Perhaps you could suggest that you see someone together so that that person can point you in the right direction with helping him?
Do you know that his issues will resolve in time, or are you saying that to make him feel better? I'm really asking--because of the nature of my friend's son's issues, his weren't resolving, nor were they likely to without some help (which he probably could have gotten as an older person as well) but I'm sure that there are a host of issues that do--do you actually know? Another option I can think of is to see someone yourself for a consultation. The fact that your son is asking for help and you are worried and concerned means that you need to up your information level, and the problem with asking on a list like this is that no one knows your son and can say, "Yes! My kid had the same problem," because it may sound the same but have it's roots in something mechanically different.
Joanna
--- In [email protected], Mary Hickcox <disser420@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all, I was wondering if anyone has any issues with speech delays and if you have any advice. I am worried about pushing him or making him feel worse about the problem. He is 6 almost 7 years old and is starting to feel uncomfortable with it as people are constantly asking what he is saying and some kids have even made fun of him (breaking heart:). He seems to have the most problem with th sounds but when he is excited even I can hardly understand him. I can't help but worry about it but am most concerned because he wants to work on it (asks me to help him) and I am not sure what to do. It seems to be that he doesn't move his mouth and tongue the correct way to make the right sound. Any ideas on exercises or a way to help him find peace with it (we already tell him that it's OK and that it will resolve in time but I can't help but think his frustration will diminish more quickly if I help him more proactively. Thanks in advance!
>
> Mary mama to Dylan (10), Colin (6) and Theo Benjamin (2)
> "Be who you want your children to be." Unknown "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." Buddha
>
> "Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."
> Denis Diderot
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
casouthworth
--- In [email protected], Mary Hickcox <disser420@...> wrote:
Connie
>My first thought was to have his hearing checked. If he can't hear the sounds correctly, then it would be hard for him to recreate the sounds correctly.
> Hi all, I was wondering if anyone has any issues with speech delays and if you have any advice<<<
Connie
deannat97
==== I was wondering if anyone has any issues with speech delays and if you have any advice. == I can't help but worry about it but am most concerned because he wants to work on it (asks me to help him) and I am not sure what to do. ====
I was a speech/language therapist in my pre-unschooling days. ;-) To be honest, this looks like a situation any therapist would be happy to assist with according to your preferences. Your son wants to make some changes in his speech, and you desire information to help him in a happy way -- it's a win-win!
If you decide to check it out, you could set up an assessment and go in for regularly scheduled therapy sessions if recommended, the traditional sort of thing. Or you could request that, following the assessment, you be given a home program to follow through with (that way you would have the information you need as to how to help him). The therapist will likely want to schedule periodic visits to see how he's doing and tweak the home program a bit.
To find therapists, just look in your yellow pages (assuming you are in U.S.??). You may be able to tie in to services through the schools, or there are clinics and private practices. If you live in a city with a university that has a communicative disorders/speech therapy program available, many have clinics in which graduate students work with clients under supervision. This can be a really nice option, as well.
Peaceful days to you and your son.
Deanna
I was a speech/language therapist in my pre-unschooling days. ;-) To be honest, this looks like a situation any therapist would be happy to assist with according to your preferences. Your son wants to make some changes in his speech, and you desire information to help him in a happy way -- it's a win-win!
If you decide to check it out, you could set up an assessment and go in for regularly scheduled therapy sessions if recommended, the traditional sort of thing. Or you could request that, following the assessment, you be given a home program to follow through with (that way you would have the information you need as to how to help him). The therapist will likely want to schedule periodic visits to see how he's doing and tweak the home program a bit.
To find therapists, just look in your yellow pages (assuming you are in U.S.??). You may be able to tie in to services through the schools, or there are clinics and private practices. If you live in a city with a university that has a communicative disorders/speech therapy program available, many have clinics in which graduate students work with clients under supervision. This can be a really nice option, as well.
Peaceful days to you and your son.
Deanna
Bun
My son was one of those whose speech did become easier to understand over time. But it took time..like from four to 7ish...he's 8 now. He still says sompthin' (and then I noticed me pronouncing it that way too!!). But for the most part, you'd never know now he had trouble pronouncing words. My parents and some friends did suggested we seek a speech therapist for him. But I had heard many kids speak differently until they get older and are able to speak words more like others do. I know kids want to fit in and do and say things like us and they will do so to the best of their ability. It does take time. I preferred to trust time. My son had never asked for any help either, so that wasn't in my mind. He did have some kids say "that's not how you say (insert word)" a few times, but I can't recall at this moment anyone making fun of him. And one other reason I didn't want to take my son to speech therapy is that I worried about how it might affect his self-confidence. One of John Holts books...maybe "How Children Learn"..had a section about this in there...can't recall exactly what it said now, but it made an impact on me about trusting my child to want to fit in and trusting time.
Also, when my son was 4 or 5 and when our family went to the lake, one mom there who was a friend of mine was a speech therapist and worked with adults who had strokes. When discussing the things going on in our lives, speech came up and because she had her own son going through similar things and because she heard my son speak in the course of normal conversation. She said the sounds he made were coming along fine, but were just taking their time developing. Maybe that also helped me feel better inside about the pressures I was getting from my parents and well meaning friends. Not that I would have decided to do anything different, but that it gave me one more thing to feel like I was making the right decision not to do therapy.
I also thought that there were plenty of adults out there who may not articulate perfectly and that they can get by and even hold good jobs..even jobs where they speak to others! And I thought at the time that I'd rather my child grow up with his self-confidence intact rather than feel at such a young age that something was "wrong" with him. I think this is something worth thinking about for a couple months at least and it depends on how your child feels about it as well.
However, if I knew his speech issues would definately not be overcome in time and if he would feel uncomfortable speaking differently, I would have asked him if he wanted to try working with someone and/or with me to help him speak more clearly. So I guess it all depends on how severe the issue is and if you think it will truly be problematic for your child and if your child is wanting or willing to work on it with you or with someone else. But how do you know? Can you give it time...like a couple of years? Does he mind you standing by him to interpret for others what he says? Is that too frustrating for him and would he prefer to go to speech therapy? Do you think picking apart his speech and practising it over and over will be something that won't affect his self-confidence and something he would want to do? Maybe therapy is better in the long run if he is getting made fun of? If he wants to quit it at any time, is that something you would let him know he could do so he feels in control of going to the therapy?
Is there a way to avoid being around the kids who are making fun of your child? Could you be there with your child to help interpret (if your son is okay with that)? Mabye your proximity would help prevent the other kids from making fun of your son? Could you talk to the other kids (if you know them well enough) and explain that it hurts your child's feelings when they make fun of it and bothers you too and ask them how they'd feel if they were in his shoes?
Laurie :) (Mom to Katie 12, Keli'i 8, Makanalani 4, and Kanoa 1 and wife to Jim)
Also, when my son was 4 or 5 and when our family went to the lake, one mom there who was a friend of mine was a speech therapist and worked with adults who had strokes. When discussing the things going on in our lives, speech came up and because she had her own son going through similar things and because she heard my son speak in the course of normal conversation. She said the sounds he made were coming along fine, but were just taking their time developing. Maybe that also helped me feel better inside about the pressures I was getting from my parents and well meaning friends. Not that I would have decided to do anything different, but that it gave me one more thing to feel like I was making the right decision not to do therapy.
I also thought that there were plenty of adults out there who may not articulate perfectly and that they can get by and even hold good jobs..even jobs where they speak to others! And I thought at the time that I'd rather my child grow up with his self-confidence intact rather than feel at such a young age that something was "wrong" with him. I think this is something worth thinking about for a couple months at least and it depends on how your child feels about it as well.
However, if I knew his speech issues would definately not be overcome in time and if he would feel uncomfortable speaking differently, I would have asked him if he wanted to try working with someone and/or with me to help him speak more clearly. So I guess it all depends on how severe the issue is and if you think it will truly be problematic for your child and if your child is wanting or willing to work on it with you or with someone else. But how do you know? Can you give it time...like a couple of years? Does he mind you standing by him to interpret for others what he says? Is that too frustrating for him and would he prefer to go to speech therapy? Do you think picking apart his speech and practising it over and over will be something that won't affect his self-confidence and something he would want to do? Maybe therapy is better in the long run if he is getting made fun of? If he wants to quit it at any time, is that something you would let him know he could do so he feels in control of going to the therapy?
Is there a way to avoid being around the kids who are making fun of your child? Could you be there with your child to help interpret (if your son is okay with that)? Mabye your proximity would help prevent the other kids from making fun of your son? Could you talk to the other kids (if you know them well enough) and explain that it hurts your child's feelings when they make fun of it and bothers you too and ask them how they'd feel if they were in his shoes?
Laurie :) (Mom to Katie 12, Keli'i 8, Makanalani 4, and Kanoa 1 and wife to Jim)
[email protected]
Hi all, I was wondering if anyone has any issues with speech delaysand if you have any advice. I am worried about pushing him or makinghim feel worse about the problem.
____________
I'm an unschooling parent and a speech therapist. Speech therapy can be helpful with many speech and language issues but I think it's important to let sounds develop naturally when kids are this young. The "norms" that speech therapist learn in their training is that certain sounds are a certain percentage accurate at a certain age. I sometimes tell parents, "We could do speech therapy and he'll have this sound by the end of the year or we could skip speech therapy and he'll have this sound by the end of the year "
It might help to think of it in the same way as reading. Children learn to read when they are ready and for some that might be 4 and for some that might be 12. Usually, this also applies to simple articulation of consonants.
At age six, it's very common to still be having some difficulty with sounds especially with the /s/ and /r/ sounds. I wouldn't recommend speech therapy especially if he is just having trouble with the /th/sound. Continue to speak in a normal way with him but make sure he has lots of opportunities to watch your face when you are speaking. A /th/ sound is so easy to demonstrate. Show him how your tongue is between your teeth when you make a /th/ sounds. Point out words that have the /th/ sounds in them and play around with them a bit. There's a fun Bingo game for /th/ that you could strew with your other games.
I can always make kids giggle by have them make a /th/ sound and then add voice to it because it tickles their tongue. If people aren't understanding him, just repeat what he has said for him just like you would read something for him that he couldn't read. I'd be more than happy to correspond with you off list for some other ideas that might be helpful.
Here's the link for the game I mentioned. The
http://www.superduperinc.com/products/view.aspx?pid=BGO76
Gail
=
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
____________
I'm an unschooling parent and a speech therapist. Speech therapy can be helpful with many speech and language issues but I think it's important to let sounds develop naturally when kids are this young. The "norms" that speech therapist learn in their training is that certain sounds are a certain percentage accurate at a certain age. I sometimes tell parents, "We could do speech therapy and he'll have this sound by the end of the year or we could skip speech therapy and he'll have this sound by the end of the year "
It might help to think of it in the same way as reading. Children learn to read when they are ready and for some that might be 4 and for some that might be 12. Usually, this also applies to simple articulation of consonants.
At age six, it's very common to still be having some difficulty with sounds especially with the /s/ and /r/ sounds. I wouldn't recommend speech therapy especially if he is just having trouble with the /th/sound. Continue to speak in a normal way with him but make sure he has lots of opportunities to watch your face when you are speaking. A /th/ sound is so easy to demonstrate. Show him how your tongue is between your teeth when you make a /th/ sounds. Point out words that have the /th/ sounds in them and play around with them a bit. There's a fun Bingo game for /th/ that you could strew with your other games.
I can always make kids giggle by have them make a /th/ sound and then add voice to it because it tickles their tongue. If people aren't understanding him, just repeat what he has said for him just like you would read something for him that he couldn't read. I'd be more than happy to correspond with you off list for some other ideas that might be helpful.
Here's the link for the game I mentioned. The
http://www.superduperinc.com/products/view.aspx?pid=BGO76
Gail
=
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lalow66
I am a speech therapist and a mom and my opinion on it is if your son wants help and is self conscious about it go see someone. Ask for activities he can do at home or take him to therapy. The school district can help, local universities with speech departments, or private therapy (most insurance pays for atleast some therapy). 3 out of my 4 kids have trouble with sounds past when it is typical.. but none of mine are interested in therapy and none are self conscious about it, so i have never done anything. but if they were i would take them.