criticism and analysis
Sandra Dodd
The last comment is another of those "we" statements that end up being
unfair and untrue if "we" have not all had that experience.
The middle comment, that I have "lost that much essential space for
self-awareness that makes it possible to keep our own selves
nourished" seems to be no more than an insult.
This was posted on a blog by someone who was on this list a very short
while:
"It is not that Sandra doesn’t care about the well being of a child. I
know she does, or she would never have made this phenomenal effort. I
think, somewhere down the line, responding to so many questions,
providing so much invaluable advice, working so hard to extend support
to new beginners, she has lost that much essential space for self-
awareness that makes it possible to keep our own selves nourished.
When that space gets crowded out, our actions start being automatic
based on what we usually say, and they take on a life of our own,
while we still continue to see ourselves as sensitive and caring."
I don't think I've lost self awareness. I don't think my actions have
taken on a life of their own.
The purpose of putting that out in public? Just one of those
things... Because I'm willing to help people and because I'm
confident, I open myself up to the attacks of people who don't really
know me at all.
Will I hide, then? Should I stop helping people, or question my
confidence? I don't think so. I'm staying here, doing what I'm
doing, because the "two year thank you" post from Susan the other day
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/message/50440
trumps a blog post attempting to belittle me.
Sandra
unfair and untrue if "we" have not all had that experience.
The middle comment, that I have "lost that much essential space for
self-awareness that makes it possible to keep our own selves
nourished" seems to be no more than an insult.
This was posted on a blog by someone who was on this list a very short
while:
"It is not that Sandra doesn’t care about the well being of a child. I
know she does, or she would never have made this phenomenal effort. I
think, somewhere down the line, responding to so many questions,
providing so much invaluable advice, working so hard to extend support
to new beginners, she has lost that much essential space for self-
awareness that makes it possible to keep our own selves nourished.
When that space gets crowded out, our actions start being automatic
based on what we usually say, and they take on a life of our own,
while we still continue to see ourselves as sensitive and caring."
I don't think I've lost self awareness. I don't think my actions have
taken on a life of their own.
The purpose of putting that out in public? Just one of those
things... Because I'm willing to help people and because I'm
confident, I open myself up to the attacks of people who don't really
know me at all.
Will I hide, then? Should I stop helping people, or question my
confidence? I don't think so. I'm staying here, doing what I'm
doing, because the "two year thank you" post from Susan the other day
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/message/50440
trumps a blog post attempting to belittle me.
Sandra
Vidyut Kale
I consider myself trumped :D
I certainly don't think anything along the lines of:
Should I stop helping people, or question my confidence? I don't think so.
I'm staying here, doing what I'm doing, because the "two year thank you"
post from Susan the other day
The same blog post also speaks of the respect I have for you and your
website, which continues to provide me with guidance. How you choose to
interpret it is your choice, and I cannot do anything other than being me.
Everyone was a new member some time. Unless that can be prevented, there are
going to be people who will perhaps not understand "well enough". I see
value in many things you say, and other things I don't, like any outstanding
resource. What I share is my understanding of things, and this thread
reinforces it. That doesn't mean I lose respect for you, or even that my
losing respect has any significance in the face of the many who find
unending value here, including me.
However, I do stand by what I said. I may change my mind in the future, but
my reality was that at the time of writing. Perhaps all newcomers go through
that, since you identified me as one? I cannot write or think based on how I
will feel about something some day in the future. I feel what I feel now. If
this is an insult, I cannot help it. I cannot pretend.
One way of looking at it is my ignorance. Another is the impact of your
words. Two sides to every coin. Likely both true.
Vidyut
PS: For those who have no clue what's happening here, this refers to a post
I made on my blog: http://www.nisargak.com/proud-mama/the-unschooling-gods/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I certainly don't think anything along the lines of:
Should I stop helping people, or question my confidence? I don't think so.
I'm staying here, doing what I'm doing, because the "two year thank you"
post from Susan the other day
The same blog post also speaks of the respect I have for you and your
website, which continues to provide me with guidance. How you choose to
interpret it is your choice, and I cannot do anything other than being me.
Everyone was a new member some time. Unless that can be prevented, there are
going to be people who will perhaps not understand "well enough". I see
value in many things you say, and other things I don't, like any outstanding
resource. What I share is my understanding of things, and this thread
reinforces it. That doesn't mean I lose respect for you, or even that my
losing respect has any significance in the face of the many who find
unending value here, including me.
However, I do stand by what I said. I may change my mind in the future, but
my reality was that at the time of writing. Perhaps all newcomers go through
that, since you identified me as one? I cannot write or think based on how I
will feel about something some day in the future. I feel what I feel now. If
this is an insult, I cannot help it. I cannot pretend.
One way of looking at it is my ignorance. Another is the impact of your
words. Two sides to every coin. Likely both true.
Vidyut
PS: For those who have no clue what's happening here, this refers to a post
I made on my blog: http://www.nisargak.com/proud-mama/the-unschooling-gods/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=How you choose to
interpret it is your choice, and I cannot do anything other than being
me.-=-
It was hard not to interpret it as public criticism, but I was talking
about the ideas, not who wrote them.
"Being me" in anyone's case involves choices all along the way, all
day, every moment. You can do things other than criticize people in
public, if you choose to.
-=Everyone was a new member some time. Unless that can be prevented,
there are
going to be people who will perhaps not understand "well enough". I see
value in many things you say, and other things I don't, like any
outstanding
resource.-=-
If I joined a volkswagen repair list, I might mention that I once
helped my dad rebuild a VW engine, but then I shouldn't keep on,
because I haven't owned a VW for years, and haven't fixed one for
longer than that because it was a Jetta and they're famously NOT home
jobs. They take special tools. If I were on that list I would read
more than post, for sure.
If I joined a knitting list, I wouldn't post a word, because I can't
knit.
-=-However, I do stand by what I said. I may change my mind in the
future, but
my reality was that at the time of writing. Perhaps all newcomers go
through
that, since you identified me as one-=-
I didn't identify you as a newcomer because of what you wrote, but
because you were asking newcomer questions and your child is an
infant. What you say, "your reality," doesn't change what is true of
me or of this list, though. "Your reality" doesn't change how happy
and whole my children are.
This resource will still be here for a long time, I'm sure. If the
list isn't, my website will be. Joyce's will be around forever
because it's so nicely designed that the internet archive's wayback
machine will be able to find all the pages for sure. I'm glad of
that. Those who do want help will be able to find it even when those
who are the regular writers now have gone on to other things.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
interpret it is your choice, and I cannot do anything other than being
me.-=-
It was hard not to interpret it as public criticism, but I was talking
about the ideas, not who wrote them.
"Being me" in anyone's case involves choices all along the way, all
day, every moment. You can do things other than criticize people in
public, if you choose to.
-=Everyone was a new member some time. Unless that can be prevented,
there are
going to be people who will perhaps not understand "well enough". I see
value in many things you say, and other things I don't, like any
outstanding
resource.-=-
If I joined a volkswagen repair list, I might mention that I once
helped my dad rebuild a VW engine, but then I shouldn't keep on,
because I haven't owned a VW for years, and haven't fixed one for
longer than that because it was a Jetta and they're famously NOT home
jobs. They take special tools. If I were on that list I would read
more than post, for sure.
If I joined a knitting list, I wouldn't post a word, because I can't
knit.
-=-However, I do stand by what I said. I may change my mind in the
future, but
my reality was that at the time of writing. Perhaps all newcomers go
through
that, since you identified me as one-=-
I didn't identify you as a newcomer because of what you wrote, but
because you were asking newcomer questions and your child is an
infant. What you say, "your reality," doesn't change what is true of
me or of this list, though. "Your reality" doesn't change how happy
and whole my children are.
This resource will still be here for a long time, I'm sure. If the
list isn't, my website will be. Joyce's will be around forever
because it's so nicely designed that the internet archive's wayback
machine will be able to find all the pages for sure. I'm glad of
that. Those who do want help will be able to find it even when those
who are the regular writers now have gone on to other things.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]