In order to keep from obsessing.....
memismommy
I am sharing the link to this thread on my Facebook page. I was reading, last night, and posted a generic comment. I had a quick exchange with Frank Maier about it, turned off the computer, and didn't turn it back on until after 11pm tonight....this is what I found.
I was forewarned by a fellow Unschooling friend that it get nasty, so I wasn't completely blindsided. And I know the dynamic of my family far better than I might wish to.
But it's very deeply upsetting, especially the comments made by my younger brother, whom I've considered a friend.
I knew when I posted, of course, that my sister's children attend Montessori school. I tried to be careful to characterize my opinions as my opinions.
There was a time, not so long ago, when I would have been compelled to reply and try to batter them into seeing my point, seeing the lashing-out in their responses that fed off that energy.
I haven't any intention of doing that. But i would not mind - not one little bit - if a torrent of unschooling responses, clear and logical, were to follow the comments of my family, which I wouldn't characterize as either.
I especially wouldn't mind if certain of you with clear heads, blunt voices, and grown children felt inclined to reply...
Or not. I'm letting go of the whole mess - it is a clear indicator that there really isn't much hope of that situation changing for the better, and it's not an energy I want to live in.
Thanks, list, for being here when I needed a place to vent this without letting it own me....
http://www.facebook.com/notifications.php#/profile.php?v=feed&story_fbid=306992128915&id=1579352041
Peace!
Shan
THE UNFETTERED LIFE
www.memismommy.blogspot.com
I was forewarned by a fellow Unschooling friend that it get nasty, so I wasn't completely blindsided. And I know the dynamic of my family far better than I might wish to.
But it's very deeply upsetting, especially the comments made by my younger brother, whom I've considered a friend.
I knew when I posted, of course, that my sister's children attend Montessori school. I tried to be careful to characterize my opinions as my opinions.
There was a time, not so long ago, when I would have been compelled to reply and try to batter them into seeing my point, seeing the lashing-out in their responses that fed off that energy.
I haven't any intention of doing that. But i would not mind - not one little bit - if a torrent of unschooling responses, clear and logical, were to follow the comments of my family, which I wouldn't characterize as either.
I especially wouldn't mind if certain of you with clear heads, blunt voices, and grown children felt inclined to reply...
Or not. I'm letting go of the whole mess - it is a clear indicator that there really isn't much hope of that situation changing for the better, and it's not an energy I want to live in.
Thanks, list, for being here when I needed a place to vent this without letting it own me....
http://www.facebook.com/notifications.php#/profile.php?v=feed&story_fbid=306992128915&id=1579352041
Peace!
Shan
THE UNFETTERED LIFE
www.memismommy.blogspot.com
Lyla Wolfenstein
can't see your page unless we are on your friends' list. you could give your name (first and last) and then those of us who want to can friend you...
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memismommy
--- In [email protected], "Lyla Wolfenstein" <lylaw@...> wrote:
Shannon Burton.....if anyone wants to read whose friends list I'm not on, just please mention this list in your request, so I know where you're from. =)
Peace -
Shan
>Oops! Sorry - I forgot those don't automatically pop up. You are already on my friennds list, Lyla!
> can't see your page unless we are on your friends' list. you could give your name (first and last) and then those of us who want to can friend you...
Shannon Burton.....if anyone wants to read whose friends list I'm not on, just please mention this list in your request, so I know where you're from. =)
Peace -
Shan
Lyla Wolfenstein
i wonder why it didn't open when i clicked it then! i didn't know it was you!
how strange...
will go to your page and look for the discussion.
lyla
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how strange...
will go to your page and look for the discussion.
lyla
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BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I was able to open no problem.
I am sorry Shannon but I don't think anyone going in there to discuss it is going to help then understand any.
Your brother and the other person ganged up and you.
He said you and Frank are atacking other parents but he is personally attacking his sister and its not pretty.
I would save my energy towards enjoying my children and forget about it.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
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I am sorry Shannon but I don't think anyone going in there to discuss it is going to help then understand any.
Your brother and the other person ganged up and you.
He said you and Frank are atacking other parents but he is personally attacking his sister and its not pretty.
I would save my energy towards enjoying my children and forget about it.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
memismommy
--- In [email protected], BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
Thank you.
For clarification, the other person is my sister. The ganging up is nothing new. It's the way my family does things. I used to be very much a part of that.
I'm trying to let it go.....because I know that, in the end, it's all I can do. That, and hide their posts, perhaps....which is a sad place to be with siblings, and maybe says more about the volatility of our upbringing than I ever could.
Peace - Shan
>Alex -
> I was able to open no problem.
> I am sorry Shannon but I don't think anyone going in there to discuss it is going to help then understand any.
> Your brother and the other person ganged up and you.
> He said you and Frank are atacking other parents but he is personally attacking his sister and its not pretty.
> I would save my energy towards enjoying my children and forget about it.
>
>
Thank you.
For clarification, the other person is my sister. The ganging up is nothing new. It's the way my family does things. I used to be very much a part of that.
I'm trying to let it go.....because I know that, in the end, it's all I can do. That, and hide their posts, perhaps....which is a sad place to be with siblings, and maybe says more about the volatility of our upbringing than I ever could.
Peace - Shan
Vidyut Kale
I did respond there (that is because I love audiences to get eloquent with
without worrying about what they will feel - this is rare enough to be
thoroughly appreciated), but honestly, I don't see your problem. In your
place, their behavior is an embarrassment to them, not me, though sadly,
they did claim to be siblings. Perhaps you can add a disclaimer.... Joking.
Their behavior is still their own.
People do what they do. In fact, I enjoy feeling nice and grateful that it
is such people that present the contrast for my beauty to shine through at
great price to their personal image. That is, if I can manage to hang on to
my cool. It is people like this that helps the world learn to appreciate
people who can be more sensitive. They are doing great, thankless service.
They say, never wrestle with a pig in the mud. Pig enjoys, you get dirty.
Me, I appreciate not getting dirty and watch pig wrestling on their own.
Different species. Irrelevant.
In other words, if you allow it to upset you, they won.
Vidyut
without worrying about what they will feel - this is rare enough to be
thoroughly appreciated), but honestly, I don't see your problem. In your
place, their behavior is an embarrassment to them, not me, though sadly,
they did claim to be siblings. Perhaps you can add a disclaimer.... Joking.
Their behavior is still their own.
People do what they do. In fact, I enjoy feeling nice and grateful that it
is such people that present the contrast for my beauty to shine through at
great price to their personal image. That is, if I can manage to hang on to
my cool. It is people like this that helps the world learn to appreciate
people who can be more sensitive. They are doing great, thankless service.
They say, never wrestle with a pig in the mud. Pig enjoys, you get dirty.
Me, I appreciate not getting dirty and watch pig wrestling on their own.
Different species. Irrelevant.
In other words, if you allow it to upset you, they won.
Vidyut
On Mon, Jan 25, 2010 at 12:40 PM, memismommy <memismommy@...> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected] <AlwaysLearning%40yahoogroups.com>,
> BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
> >
> > I was able to open no problem.
> > I am sorry Shannon but I don't think anyone going in there to discuss it
> is going to help then understand any.
> > Your brother and the other person ganged up and you.
> > He said you and Frank are atacking other parents but he is personally
> attacking his sister and its not pretty.
> > I would save my energy towards enjoying my children and forget about it.
> >
> >
> Alex -
>
> Thank you.
>
> For clarification, the other person is my sister. The ganging up is nothing
> new. It's the way my family does things. I used to be very much a part of
> that.
>
> I'm trying to let it go.....because I know that, in the end, it's all I can
> do. That, and hide their posts, perhaps....which is a sad place to be with
> siblings, and maybe says more about the volatility of our upbringing than I
> ever could.
>
> Peace - Shan
>
>
>
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Bea
Do you know that you can choose who can see your status updates? Put all your unschooling friends in one group, and then whenever you want to post things that you think might upset your friends and family, post it for only the unschooling group to see. That way, you can still have meaningful exchanges with unschoolers and avoid getting upset at others getting offended.
Bea
Bea
> I'm trying to let it go.....because I know that, in the end, it's all I can do. That, and hide their posts, perhaps....which is a sad place to be with siblings, and maybe says more about the volatility of our upbringing than I ever could.
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-There was a time, not so long ago, when I would have been compelled
to reply and try to batter them into seeing my point, seeing the
lashing-out in their responses that fed off that energy. -=-
Shan,
I'll go look, but I think obsession led to it in the first place.
If one of them had posted about unschooling, with examples that seemed
like your kids, and were getting supportive posts, that wouldn't be so
much about the posters as about the person who thought it would be
okay to make a glancing attack in public.
Now I'll go and read it, and maybe find the paragraph above has
nothing on earth to do with it. But be careful about seeing blogs and
such as private or even limited diaries. Sometimes it's a mostly
private audience, but even this list probably seems more private than
you'd think. People can save, print, forward.
Sandra
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to reply and try to batter them into seeing my point, seeing the
lashing-out in their responses that fed off that energy. -=-
Shan,
I'll go look, but I think obsession led to it in the first place.
If one of them had posted about unschooling, with examples that seemed
like your kids, and were getting supportive posts, that wouldn't be so
much about the posters as about the person who thought it would be
okay to make a glancing attack in public.
Now I'll go and read it, and maybe find the paragraph above has
nothing on earth to do with it. But be careful about seeing blogs and
such as private or even limited diaries. Sometimes it's a mostly
private audience, but even this list probably seems more private than
you'd think. People can save, print, forward.
Sandra
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Sandra Dodd
-=-For clarification, the other person is my sister. The ganging up is
nothing new. It's the way my family does things. I used to be very
much a part of that.-=-
You still are, if you put something inflammatory in public.
I'm still reading e-mail and am not sure anymore I'll go over there.
There's a LOT of e-mail today, and a chat this afternoon and I need to
put dinner in the crockpot because of that chat.
Sandra
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nothing new. It's the way my family does things. I used to be very
much a part of that.-=-
You still are, if you put something inflammatory in public.
I'm still reading e-mail and am not sure anymore I'll go over there.
There's a LOT of e-mail today, and a chat this afternoon and I need to
put dinner in the crockpot because of that chat.
Sandra
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