Learning to use the toilet
Nicole Novakovics
Hi there!
My name is Nicole and I have one child, a son named Fisher, who is going to
be three years old next month. The issue that has been bothering me lately
concerns my wanting him to finally ditch the diapers and use the toilet.
Now, I am fully aware that the desire for him to use the toilet instead of
wearing diapers is really all about my wish to stop changing diapers. He's
perfectly content wearing them (and has said so to me all along), despite
resisting having them changed pretty much every time. He has sat on the
toilet a number of times, and even peed on occasion without noticing or
thinking about it. Other than using it to avoid getting in the bath, though,
Fisher has no interest in using the toilet to eliminate.
I know I can't "train" him to go and that it's really just a waiting game.
But I was wondering if anyone here had some advice on how to cope with the
waiting.
Thanks for your time :).
Nicole
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My name is Nicole and I have one child, a son named Fisher, who is going to
be three years old next month. The issue that has been bothering me lately
concerns my wanting him to finally ditch the diapers and use the toilet.
Now, I am fully aware that the desire for him to use the toilet instead of
wearing diapers is really all about my wish to stop changing diapers. He's
perfectly content wearing them (and has said so to me all along), despite
resisting having them changed pretty much every time. He has sat on the
toilet a number of times, and even peed on occasion without noticing or
thinking about it. Other than using it to avoid getting in the bath, though,
Fisher has no interest in using the toilet to eliminate.
I know I can't "train" him to go and that it's really just a waiting game.
But I was wondering if anyone here had some advice on how to cope with the
waiting.
Thanks for your time :).
Nicole
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-Other than using it to avoid getting in the bath, though,
Fisher has no interest in using the toilet to eliminate.-=-
Would more baths help? More water play? Would it help to put a video
player in there or let him take a gameboy or whatever might keep him
sitting longer?
I know when a child is three a month can seem forever to the mom, but
to a kid the day seems like a month, so he won't understand your
anxiety. The more you relax, the more relaxation there will be on
your team--between you and the child.
One of mine was in diapers at night for nine years, but not in the
daytime. Don't aim at "no diapers" so much as at peace and love.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Fisher has no interest in using the toilet to eliminate.-=-
Would more baths help? More water play? Would it help to put a video
player in there or let him take a gameboy or whatever might keep him
sitting longer?
I know when a child is three a month can seem forever to the mom, but
to a kid the day seems like a month, so he won't understand your
anxiety. The more you relax, the more relaxation there will be on
your team--between you and the child.
One of mine was in diapers at night for nine years, but not in the
daytime. Don't aim at "no diapers" so much as at peace and love.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vicki Dennis
Is your wish about you having to change diapers or about him still wearing
diapers?
Get some pull-ups and let him dress himself (maybe coming to you to request
a diaper if he is having a BM).
He might like pull-ups if that gives him more control ............if he can
pull them off and replace on his own.
Would that meet your need of having him ditch the diapers?
If he expresses that he is content with diapers and he resists pull ups then
perhaps speak to yourself that parenting a three year old (next month)
includes helping with dressing and bathing just as much as helping with food
and shelter.
If it bothers you immensely, then perhaps target age 3 as a time to talk
about being "partners" and working together for solutions that work for both
of you. Some of the same ideas used when wanting to stop suckling might
be helpful in stopping changing diapers.
You might also consider that "ditch the diapers" and "use the toilet" are
two separate conditions. Both of my now adult sons were "house broken"
long before they were "toilet trained". We lived rurally and they treated
the outdoors as one large litter box......until older boys showed them about
using hay bales for "targets" or using leaves to cover up turds! They did
listen and understand that behaviors that were okay on the farm might not be
okay at a shopping mall or at someone else's suburban house.
vicki
On Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 11:50 AM, Nicole Novakovics
<daftladybird@...>wrote:
diapers?
Get some pull-ups and let him dress himself (maybe coming to you to request
a diaper if he is having a BM).
He might like pull-ups if that gives him more control ............if he can
pull them off and replace on his own.
Would that meet your need of having him ditch the diapers?
If he expresses that he is content with diapers and he resists pull ups then
perhaps speak to yourself that parenting a three year old (next month)
includes helping with dressing and bathing just as much as helping with food
and shelter.
If it bothers you immensely, then perhaps target age 3 as a time to talk
about being "partners" and working together for solutions that work for both
of you. Some of the same ideas used when wanting to stop suckling might
be helpful in stopping changing diapers.
You might also consider that "ditch the diapers" and "use the toilet" are
two separate conditions. Both of my now adult sons were "house broken"
long before they were "toilet trained". We lived rurally and they treated
the outdoors as one large litter box......until older boys showed them about
using hay bales for "targets" or using leaves to cover up turds! They did
listen and understand that behaviors that were okay on the farm might not be
okay at a shopping mall or at someone else's suburban house.
vicki
On Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 11:50 AM, Nicole Novakovics
<daftladybird@...>wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> Hi there!
>
> My name is Nicole and I have one child, a son named Fisher, who is going to
> be three years old next month. The issue that has been bothering me lately
> concerns my wanting him to finally ditch the diapers and use the toilet.
>
> Now, I am fully aware that the desire for him to use the toilet instead of
> wearing diapers is really all about my wish to stop changing diapers. He's
> perfectly content wearing them (and has said so to me all along), despite
> resisting having them changed pretty much every time. He has sat on the
> toilet a number of times, and even peed on occasion without noticing or
> thinking about it. Other than using it to avoid getting in the bath,
> though,
> Fisher has no interest in using the toilet to eliminate.
>
> I know I can't "train" him to go and that it's really just a waiting game.
> But I was wondering if anyone here had some advice on how to cope with the
> waiting.
>
> Thanks for your time :).
>
> Nicole
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-If he expresses that he is content with diapers and he resists pull
ups then
perhaps speak to yourself that parenting a three year old (next month)
includes helping with dressing and bathing just as much as helping
with food
and shelter.-=-
He's two? I saw "three" and thought three.
Why do people do that? "Nearly three" is two.
Let two year old boys wear diapers!
Let three year old boys wear diapers if the alternative is pressure
and unhappiness.
Sandra
ups then
perhaps speak to yourself that parenting a three year old (next month)
includes helping with dressing and bathing just as much as helping
with food
and shelter.-=-
He's two? I saw "three" and thought three.
Why do people do that? "Nearly three" is two.
Let two year old boys wear diapers!
Let three year old boys wear diapers if the alternative is pressure
and unhappiness.
Sandra
Jenny Cyphers
***He's two? I saw "three" and thought three.
Why do people do that? "Nearly three" is two.***
I used to make that distinction because a newly 2 is very different than an almost 3, they change so much in that year. It's also true that a newly 3 is very different from and almost 4. It doesn't change the fact that a 2 yr old or a 3 yr old that is wearing a diaper and not ready to use the toilet should be wearing a diaper and not forced to use the toilet.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Why do people do that? "Nearly three" is two.***
I used to make that distinction because a newly 2 is very different than an almost 3, they change so much in that year. It's also true that a newly 3 is very different from and almost 4. It doesn't change the fact that a 2 yr old or a 3 yr old that is wearing a diaper and not ready to use the toilet should be wearing a diaper and not forced to use the toilet.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-
I used to make that distinction because a newly 2 is very different
than an almost 3, they change so much in that year. It's also true
that a newly 3 is very different from and almost 4. It doesn't change
the fact that a 2 yr old or a 3 yr old that is wearing a diaper and
not ready to use the toilet should be wearing a diaper and not forced
to use the toilet. -=-
True.
And I said "nearly 18" of Holly for a couple of months.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I used to make that distinction because a newly 2 is very different
than an almost 3, they change so much in that year. It's also true
that a newly 3 is very different from and almost 4. It doesn't change
the fact that a 2 yr old or a 3 yr old that is wearing a diaper and
not ready to use the toilet should be wearing a diaper and not forced
to use the toilet. -=-
True.
And I said "nearly 18" of Holly for a couple of months.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn L. Coburn
<<<<It doesn't change the fact that a 2 yr old or a 3 yr old that is wearing
a diaper and not ready to use the toilet should be wearing a diaper and not
forced to use the toilet.>>>>
You know when I read the post I really got the feeling that the OP is not
really looking for strategies to get her toddler on to the potty. Certainly
some good ideas on that have been forthcoming.
However, what I read she was looking for was strategies for building up her
own patience, and perhaps some reassurance that yes, the end of diapers will
come one day. I really don't think she plans on pushing him or forcing the
issue, and I would discourage any moves in that direction.
My understanding of potty learning is that the boys generally, on average,
stay in diapers a little longer than girls generally, on average. Almost
three is not remotely "late" or abnormal. Almost 4 is not particularly or
extremely "late" or abnormal either.
I increase my patience with breathing and by pausing to think through the
possible (probable) consequences of not choosing patience in that moment -
usually an angry and disappointed child. I even think about how much I would
miss her if she weren't with me any more.
What happens if you make a concious effort to embrace patience? Even post
some little notes about it around. A mantra may help.
Now that Jayn is 10 I can barely remember the days of diapers.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
a diaper and not ready to use the toilet should be wearing a diaper and not
forced to use the toilet.>>>>
You know when I read the post I really got the feeling that the OP is not
really looking for strategies to get her toddler on to the potty. Certainly
some good ideas on that have been forthcoming.
However, what I read she was looking for was strategies for building up her
own patience, and perhaps some reassurance that yes, the end of diapers will
come one day. I really don't think she plans on pushing him or forcing the
issue, and I would discourage any moves in that direction.
My understanding of potty learning is that the boys generally, on average,
stay in diapers a little longer than girls generally, on average. Almost
three is not remotely "late" or abnormal. Almost 4 is not particularly or
extremely "late" or abnormal either.
I increase my patience with breathing and by pausing to think through the
possible (probable) consequences of not choosing patience in that moment -
usually an angry and disappointed child. I even think about how much I would
miss her if she weren't with me any more.
What happens if you make a concious effort to embrace patience? Even post
some little notes about it around. A mantra may help.
Now that Jayn is 10 I can barely remember the days of diapers.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
Sandra Dodd
When I've been frustrated with one of my kids for something I imagined
they should do better or faster or sooner, my best "mantra" was more a
vision, and a reminder to myself that they could walk. They could
hear. They could see. There are parents whose kids will be in
diapers for life. And that pause helped me chill right out. Still
does sometimes, same kinds of thoughts. Now sometimes it's something
like "Oh, Marty doesn't have a job..." but he's not in Afghanistan as
his friend Liam is. Kirby didn't get as big a raise as he had thought
he might. But Kirby has a job.
Gratitude and reality check, in whatever form they might take in
whichever life, can be good tools to keep handy.
Sandra
they should do better or faster or sooner, my best "mantra" was more a
vision, and a reminder to myself that they could walk. They could
hear. They could see. There are parents whose kids will be in
diapers for life. And that pause helped me chill right out. Still
does sometimes, same kinds of thoughts. Now sometimes it's something
like "Oh, Marty doesn't have a job..." but he's not in Afghanistan as
his friend Liam is. Kirby didn't get as big a raise as he had thought
he might. But Kirby has a job.
Gratitude and reality check, in whatever form they might take in
whichever life, can be good tools to keep handy.
Sandra
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I have noticed that kids that start using the potty later when they decide they are ready have very few if any accidents and kids that do iy early generaly will have more accidents.
Maybe have that in mind when you wish your son is done with diapers.
My kids used the potty.
zxcvb bghnmasdfgggghhhjja
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maybe have that in mind when you wish your son is done with diapers.
My kids used the potty.
zxcvb bghnmasdfgggghhhjja
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Sorry Gigi hijacked and sent my message !
I was saying that my kids used the potty very early but had many accidents along the way.
My sister's boys started using when they were 4 and older and it was a like one day they woke up and decided they were done and never had accidents.
So you maybe be done with diapers but running around with extra clothes and worried about accidents that can happen anywhere!.
Hope this helps your perspective!
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I was saying that my kids used the potty very early but had many accidents along the way.
My sister's boys started using when they were 4 and older and it was a like one day they woke up and decided they were done and never had accidents.
So you maybe be done with diapers but running around with extra clothes and worried about accidents that can happen anywhere!.
Hope this helps your perspective!
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=-I have noticed that kids that start using the potty later when
they decide they are ready ...-=-
I don't think kids "decide" this. I think they develop an awareness
of their bodies signals at some point and then know what to do. And
if it seems to be something people do, they want to do it. Sometimes
if the kids have never seen an adult go to the bathroom it's going to
be harder, I think. And if the parents treat the kids "like kids,"
like babies, sometimes it makes them want to remain babies in some
ways, and if the diaper is the symbol of babyhood some kids stall
about letting it go.
If kids WANT to be like the parents (which I think is natural, if it's
not screwed up somehow) that can make it easier.
But no matter what kids want or "decide," there needs to be a certain
maturity and awareness, for potty, reading, bike riding...
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
they decide they are ready ...-=-
I don't think kids "decide" this. I think they develop an awareness
of their bodies signals at some point and then know what to do. And
if it seems to be something people do, they want to do it. Sometimes
if the kids have never seen an adult go to the bathroom it's going to
be harder, I think. And if the parents treat the kids "like kids,"
like babies, sometimes it makes them want to remain babies in some
ways, and if the diaper is the symbol of babyhood some kids stall
about letting it go.
If kids WANT to be like the parents (which I think is natural, if it's
not screwed up somehow) that can make it easier.
But no matter what kids want or "decide," there needs to be a certain
maturity and awareness, for potty, reading, bike riding...
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I don't think kids "decide" this. I think they develop an awareness
of their bodies signals at some point and then know what to do
-=-=-=-=-
Yes you are right. Decide is not the word I should have used. I was just thinking about my nephew that at 4 one day turned to his mother and said he was done with diapers and never looked back.
I am sure he saw his parents using the bathroom many times. Being that my sister and I are Brazilians and there are not as many hang ups about naked bodies in our culture as I see in the US were we live.
So when my nephew was ready to used the potty there was no looking back for him.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
of their bodies signals at some point and then know what to do
-=-=-=-=-
Yes you are right. Decide is not the word I should have used. I was just thinking about my nephew that at 4 one day turned to his mother and said he was done with diapers and never looked back.
I am sure he saw his parents using the bathroom many times. Being that my sister and I are Brazilians and there are not as many hang ups about naked bodies in our culture as I see in the US were we live.
So when my nephew was ready to used the potty there was no looking back for him.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jill Parmer
On Dec 11, 2009, at 10:50 AM, Nicole Novakovics wrote:
wished they were still in them. They (the diapers) were like a port-
a-potty. After diapers I felt like I needed to know where *every*
toilet in town was and how many minutes it would take me to get them
there, if we were out and about and someone proclaimed, "I NEED TO GO
POTTY! NOW!"
Jill
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I know I can't "train" him to go and that it's really just aWhen my kids stopped using diapers, there were plenty of times I
> waiting game.
> But I was wondering if anyone here had some advice on how to cope
> with the
> waiting.
wished they were still in them. They (the diapers) were like a port-
a-potty. After diapers I felt like I needed to know where *every*
toilet in town was and how many minutes it would take me to get them
there, if we were out and about and someone proclaimed, "I NEED TO GO
POTTY! NOW!"
Jill
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
***You know when I read the post I really got the feeling that the OP is not
really looking for strategies to get her toddler on to the potty. Certainly
some good ideas on that have been forthcoming.***
You could be right! What increased my patience in this area, was buying pull ups. I had been using cloth diapers and then went on to using the thick cotton training pants with the rubber pant liners. I was frustrated with how long it was taking and having to wash those things long after I "thought" she (Margaux) should be using regular underwear and the toilet. I didn't want to feel frustrated with her, so I switched to pull ups, something that I could throw away. It was miraculous! The ones that could be re-attatched at the side were the best.
I never had this issue with Chamille, she was completely out of diapers just before she turned 2. She was so tiny her pants had a hard time staying up without those diapers!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
really looking for strategies to get her toddler on to the potty. Certainly
some good ideas on that have been forthcoming.***
You could be right! What increased my patience in this area, was buying pull ups. I had been using cloth diapers and then went on to using the thick cotton training pants with the rubber pant liners. I was frustrated with how long it was taking and having to wash those things long after I "thought" she (Margaux) should be using regular underwear and the toilet. I didn't want to feel frustrated with her, so I switched to pull ups, something that I could throw away. It was miraculous! The ones that could be re-attatched at the side were the best.
I never had this issue with Chamille, she was completely out of diapers just before she turned 2. She was so tiny her pants had a hard time staying up without those diapers!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vicki Dennis
On Fri, Dec 11, 2009 at 7:28 PM, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
that the certain maturity varies greatly even when there are shared
genetics. With toilet activities there is also a difference between
waking and sleeping. Like Sandra I had one boy who would pee in his sleep
past age 10. We made nighttime adjustments since this was before the
marketing of larger pull-ups. The only time he had "accidents" in the
daytime was when he was asleep or so sick and feverish that he might as well
have been sleeping. I had another son who stayed dry at night before age
two. If he was wearing a diaper it would be dry when he awoke but within 20
minutes it would be saggingly soggy. When I remembered, I would suggest
that he try to empty his bladder into the toilet or outside but it was more
my knowing that the flood was coming than him being able to control it or
recognizing when he "needed to go". Both those boys were handling ALL
their toileting issues long before they were teenagers :-).
Early bike rider might be late or early pottier. Early pottier might be
late or early reader. Endless (or almost) variations and permutations when
it comes to attaining developmental "milestones".
vicki
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>I agree. And also think it worth pointing out to both parents and kids
> But no matter what kids want or "decide," there needs to be a certain
> maturity and awareness, for potty, reading, bike riding...
>
> Sandra
>
that the certain maturity varies greatly even when there are shared
genetics. With toilet activities there is also a difference between
waking and sleeping. Like Sandra I had one boy who would pee in his sleep
past age 10. We made nighttime adjustments since this was before the
marketing of larger pull-ups. The only time he had "accidents" in the
daytime was when he was asleep or so sick and feverish that he might as well
have been sleeping. I had another son who stayed dry at night before age
two. If he was wearing a diaper it would be dry when he awoke but within 20
minutes it would be saggingly soggy. When I remembered, I would suggest
that he try to empty his bladder into the toilet or outside but it was more
my knowing that the flood was coming than him being able to control it or
recognizing when he "needed to go". Both those boys were handling ALL
their toileting issues long before they were teenagers :-).
Early bike rider might be late or early pottier. Early pottier might be
late or early reader. Endless (or almost) variations and permutations when
it comes to attaining developmental "milestones".
vicki
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
< Almost
three is not remotely "late" or abnormal. Almost 4 is not particularly or
extremely "late" or abnormal either. >
Yes, it's funny, too, how they find their own schedule for this kind of
thing. Jess was just not interested in the potty and I must admit I was
starting to be concerned when she turned 3. She was about 3-and-a-half when
she changed - literally overnight - from nappies/diapers to using the toilet.
She had quite a nasty bout of flu, and the fever meant that the nappies
were particularly uncomfortable and chafing. So she got rid of them,
decided to use the toilet from then on and was immediately dry even through the
night. Since then, I've heard similar stories from other mothers, so I
suppose some kids just prefer to be absolutely ready before they're willing to
even engage with the process.
Jude x
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
three is not remotely "late" or abnormal. Almost 4 is not particularly or
extremely "late" or abnormal either. >
Yes, it's funny, too, how they find their own schedule for this kind of
thing. Jess was just not interested in the potty and I must admit I was
starting to be concerned when she turned 3. She was about 3-and-a-half when
she changed - literally overnight - from nappies/diapers to using the toilet.
She had quite a nasty bout of flu, and the fever meant that the nappies
were particularly uncomfortable and chafing. So she got rid of them,
decided to use the toilet from then on and was immediately dry even through the
night. Since then, I've heard similar stories from other mothers, so I
suppose some kids just prefer to be absolutely ready before they're willing to
even engage with the process.
Jude x
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- She was about 3-and-a-half when
she changed - literally overnight - from nappies/diapers to using the
toilet. -=-
Holly was younger, but did the same thing--just one day got it, and
didn't need diapers anymore, day or night.
-=- Since then, I've heard similar stories from other mothers, so I
suppose some kids just prefer to be absolutely ready before they're
willing to
even engage with the process.-=-
Might it be a perfectionism thing? That never occurred to me until
reading Jude's post, but Holly read kinda that way too: Can't read;
can't read a word; oh! Judy Blume. Next? Stephen King.
Some kids don't try to ride a bike until they are able to do all the
bike riding bits, and basically get on and go. Others will try early
and fall a lot.
I guess the important thing for unschooling is to know it's different
for different people and not to be too proud or too discouraged, but
to be that child's supportive partner and ally.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
she changed - literally overnight - from nappies/diapers to using the
toilet. -=-
Holly was younger, but did the same thing--just one day got it, and
didn't need diapers anymore, day or night.
-=- Since then, I've heard similar stories from other mothers, so I
suppose some kids just prefer to be absolutely ready before they're
willing to
even engage with the process.-=-
Might it be a perfectionism thing? That never occurred to me until
reading Jude's post, but Holly read kinda that way too: Can't read;
can't read a word; oh! Judy Blume. Next? Stephen King.
Some kids don't try to ride a bike until they are able to do all the
bike riding bits, and basically get on and go. Others will try early
and fall a lot.
I guess the important thing for unschooling is to know it's different
for different people and not to be too proud or too discouraged, but
to be that child's supportive partner and ally.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-Some kids don't try to ride a bike until they are able to do all the
bike riding bits, and basically get on and go. Others will try early
and fall a lot.-
I have one son who was 10 years old before he could ride a bike. Then his younger brother was 4 with training wheels when he saw the teens down the street ramping their bikes. He was determined to ramp his bike. I told him that he could not ramp a bike with training wheels. So he told me to take them off. I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted I take them off. And you know with in 1 hour of removing the training wheels he could ramp his bike. The same kid can read and spell anything but writing is like torture. I am slowly learning to let go and trust my kidlets to learn what they need when they need it.
I know what you mean about waiting for the potty training. All but one of my kids was a full 3 years old when they potty trained and for all of them it happened over a couple of days. I have lots of friends who pushed it on their kids and they and their kids were miserable. My Mantra over the years for things that I do not have much control over is "This to shall pass" before you know it this thing that is frustrating you will have passed and you will not even realize it. And your baby boy will be 16 and about to take his driving test you wont even remember his potty training days.
Tiffani
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bike riding bits, and basically get on and go. Others will try early
and fall a lot.-
I have one son who was 10 years old before he could ride a bike. Then his younger brother was 4 with training wheels when he saw the teens down the street ramping their bikes. He was determined to ramp his bike. I told him that he could not ramp a bike with training wheels. So he told me to take them off. I tried to talk him out of it but he insisted I take them off. And you know with in 1 hour of removing the training wheels he could ramp his bike. The same kid can read and spell anything but writing is like torture. I am slowly learning to let go and trust my kidlets to learn what they need when they need it.
I know what you mean about waiting for the potty training. All but one of my kids was a full 3 years old when they potty trained and for all of them it happened over a couple of days. I have lots of friends who pushed it on their kids and they and their kids were miserable. My Mantra over the years for things that I do not have much control over is "This to shall pass" before you know it this thing that is frustrating you will have passed and you will not even realize it. And your baby boy will be 16 and about to take his driving test you wont even remember his potty training days.
Tiffani
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Julie
This was our experience with my first son--later training leading to fewer accidents. I was seeking advice in September about my just-turned 4 year old because I had a baby in July and 3 kids in diapers. I thought I was going to go nuts with impatience and couldn't figure out why he wasn't ready? what would ready look like? what was my role? etc etc. Then, a few weeks after his fourth birthday, he spent most of the day with a 3 year old friend of his and came home that day and was done with diapers completely. He then had 2 weeks of daily pants-pooping which almost drove me over the edge since I was dealing with a colicky (5-6 hours a day of inconsolable screaming) baby. One morning I watched him like a hawk for signs he needed to poop, then went to make lunch and he pooped the minute I left the room. I didn't handle it well and got very upset, but something clicked in him and he "got it" about pooping in the toilet too. Now it's been 3ish months and he hasn't had a single day time accident and only one night time accident.
So, in short, I will feel more comfortable about letting my next 2 do it in their own time because once it happened, it was effortless and free of accidents and trauma.
Julie
james 2005
tyler 2007
audrey 2009
So, in short, I will feel more comfortable about letting my next 2 do it in their own time because once it happened, it was effortless and free of accidents and trauma.
Julie
james 2005
tyler 2007
audrey 2009
--- In [email protected], BRIAN POLIKOWSKY <polykowholsteins@...> wrote:
>
>
> Sorry Gigi hijacked and sent my message !
>
> I was saying that my kids used the potty very early but had many accidents along the way.
> My sister's boys started using when they were 4 and older and it was a like one day they woke up and decided they were done and never had accidents.
> So you maybe be done with diapers but running around with extra clothes and worried about accidents that can happen anywhere!.
> Hope this helps your perspective!
>
>
> Alex Polikowsky
> http://polykow.blogspot.com/
>
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-later training leading to fewer accidents.-=-
"Training" is probably not the word to use for being supportive while
children learn naturally.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
"Training" is probably not the word to use for being supportive while
children learn naturally.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
misskatenwa
Hi Nicole,
Each of my children has a different story, just as Fisher's story of going to the potty will be his own.
I was divorced from my oldest child father when his father took it upon himself to "teach" him to use the toilet. In one weekend, he was toilet trained, terrified and continued to have issues demonstrated in bedwetting, etc into his teens.
10 years later, I married my husband and dad to my 3 homesechoolers.
The oldest of 3 wasn't interested until his younger sister went potty. He was 4. Over night he was diaper-free.
Daughter was 2 when she said "this is yucky" and that was it.
My last was 18 months and in love with Winnie-the-Pooh. I off handedly said one time that if he went potty by himself we would take him to meet Pooh-Bear. Before he was about 22 months he was completely diaper-free and reminding me of what I had said daily until I figured out how to get to meet Pooh.
It's just different from child to child.
Warmly,
Kate
Each of my children has a different story, just as Fisher's story of going to the potty will be his own.
I was divorced from my oldest child father when his father took it upon himself to "teach" him to use the toilet. In one weekend, he was toilet trained, terrified and continued to have issues demonstrated in bedwetting, etc into his teens.
10 years later, I married my husband and dad to my 3 homesechoolers.
The oldest of 3 wasn't interested until his younger sister went potty. He was 4. Over night he was diaper-free.
Daughter was 2 when she said "this is yucky" and that was it.
My last was 18 months and in love with Winnie-the-Pooh. I off handedly said one time that if he went potty by himself we would take him to meet Pooh-Bear. Before he was about 22 months he was completely diaper-free and reminding me of what I had said daily until I figured out how to get to meet Pooh.
It's just different from child to child.
Warmly,
Kate
--- In [email protected], Nicole Novakovics <daftladybird@...> wrote:
>
> My name is Nicole and I have one child, a son named Fisher, who is going to
> be three years old next month. The issue that has been bothering me lately
> concerns my wanting him to finally ditch the diapers and use the toilet.
Bob Collier
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
Others will try early
Bob
>I had a friend one time whose son had no verbal language at all until he was three and then he started talking in complete sentences.
>
> Might it be a perfectionism thing? That never occurred to me until
> reading Jude's post, but Holly read kinda that way too: Can't read;
> can't read a word; oh! Judy Blume. Next? Stephen King.
>My son did it that way.
> Some kids don't try to ride a bike until they are able to do all the
> bike riding bits, and basically get on and go.
Others will try early
> and fall a lot.That was my daughter. :-)
>
>
Bob
Jenny Cyphers
***"Training" is probably not the word to use for being supportive while
children learn naturally.***
I agree with this! I never had the chance to "train" Chamille when she was little. I had always assumed that little ones use the toilet around the age of 3, but she was completely without diapers and accidents by the time she reached her 2nd birthday. It wasn't coached by me in any way.
This isn't an easy memory for me because it involves me getting very upset, but I'll tell it anyway. About a month before she turned 2, Chamille started taking her diapers off and running around with a bare bottom. One time she kind of disappeared and I finally found her in my closet squatting on my ballet shoes and peeing. I was very very upset about it. They were my only ballet shoes and they were VERY expensive and I couldn't afford to replace them, but there was no way I could clean them either. She had a look of shock and horror on her face that I would be so mad and so upset, but from that point forward she only used the toilet.
It's a bittersweet memory for me. Remembering that look on my sweet little girl's face is yucky for me, but it was really great to not have to change diapers any more. My best advice is to be sweet and kind and gentle to little kids and their toileting. Margaux took forever to use the toilet, not too long after she turned 4, but I don't have any memories of being horrible to her while she was figuring it all out.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
children learn naturally.***
I agree with this! I never had the chance to "train" Chamille when she was little. I had always assumed that little ones use the toilet around the age of 3, but she was completely without diapers and accidents by the time she reached her 2nd birthday. It wasn't coached by me in any way.
This isn't an easy memory for me because it involves me getting very upset, but I'll tell it anyway. About a month before she turned 2, Chamille started taking her diapers off and running around with a bare bottom. One time she kind of disappeared and I finally found her in my closet squatting on my ballet shoes and peeing. I was very very upset about it. They were my only ballet shoes and they were VERY expensive and I couldn't afford to replace them, but there was no way I could clean them either. She had a look of shock and horror on her face that I would be so mad and so upset, but from that point forward she only used the toilet.
It's a bittersweet memory for me. Remembering that look on my sweet little girl's face is yucky for me, but it was really great to not have to change diapers any more. My best advice is to be sweet and kind and gentle to little kids and their toileting. Margaux took forever to use the toilet, not too long after she turned 4, but I don't have any memories of being horrible to her while she was figuring it all out.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kristi
My 4-year old still uses diapers to poop. When she was 3 she told me she would start using the potty to poop. Her 4th birthday came and went in October, and she still will poop only in a diaper. Now she tells me she will poop in the potty before she turns 5. Of course, I am hopeful! I have bit my tongue more times than I care for so that I don't say all the variety of things I could say to her regarding pooping in the potty. On occasion, I have let her know that I look forward to the day I don't have to wipe her bum in the way that I must when she poops in a diaper, which requires more effort than pooping in the potty. She tells me she likes to poop in the diaper because she still wants to be a baby.
I cope with this by knowing that she won't be pooping in a diaper for much longer. As many have told me, she won't be dating in diapers.
The only advice I can offer is to just know it won't last forever. If you work hard at not pushing the issue, he will transition to the potty in his own way and without long-standing issues.
Good luck!
I cope with this by knowing that she won't be pooping in a diaper for much longer. As many have told me, she won't be dating in diapers.
The only advice I can offer is to just know it won't last forever. If you work hard at not pushing the issue, he will transition to the potty in his own way and without long-standing issues.
Good luck!