[email protected]

On Tue, 27 Nov 2001 08:05:57 -0500 <ElissaJC@...> writes:
>> OK, Here is my question (Please be gentle with your answers! LOL)
> Once the above has become a pattern - how does one change it? How does
one
> set the limit yet still maintain respect and teh child autonomy? I
> tend to have good days (respecting their wishes, everyone cooperating,
> watching the hunger/anger/lonely/tired thing, modeling behavior and
then all of a
> sudden I realize that there has been some yelling, disrespect etc and
I'm
> not sure what got us there.

I'm not a big fan of "limits". I prefer to frame it as meeting everyone's
needs. I don't want my kid to think "Mom said no so I have to stop
asking", I want her to understand why mom said no... or, actually, mom
rarely says no outright, I tend more to say, "I'm rather not do X because
Y" or "I'm worried that it we X, Y will happen." and then she'll either
agree, or have a plan to avoid Y, or whatever.

I also think it helps to talk about stuff before it gets out of hand,
like, "I'm feeling a bit stressed with all the noise and crowds here
already and I'd like to get this shopping trip down fast, so could you
just go get X and Y and meet me at the checkout, and we'll zoom?" And I
try to excourage and listen to her, too, when i want to stop at the
grocery store because we're out of milk and she says, "Could we not
today, I really just want to go home." then we don't stop, because she
only says it when she really isn't up to a trip...

And there are off days, of course, cranky grumpy times, and often the
best thing to do then seems to be to call a halt to whatever we're doing
and go out for coffee and chess... just take a break.

> Also, the eating issue (I really wish S was here to answer this one)
> My two year old is down to eating nothing until he gets junk. Would
> removing it from the house for a period of time help? Might it give him
the
> space to try other healthier foods and realize he likes them? I don't
want to be
> a food controller yet I am starting to become concerned over his eating

> habits.Yesterday he ate a bowl of rice crispies with milk and then
nothing
> else! He is still nursing so that eases my fear somewhat. I have also
thought
> about not arguing and letting him nurse as much as desired but I am at
> that nursing stage where it is starting to get a little irritating
> physically as my cycle ebbs and flows (pun intended LOL)

Rice Krispies are fine, really. That plus breastmilk makes a pretty
healthy diet, IMO. I really think the food thing ebbs and flows, children
spend months or a year or two eating this seemingly narrow range, then
suddenly start trying all sorts of things, if they aren't coerced into
it. I know many, many small children who ate only a few things, and
they're all fine...

Sometimes trying to limit nursing makes kids want to nurse more, I'm not
sure if you're limiting it all the time or just those days of the
month... It is hard to feel good about nursing when it's physically
uncomfortable, though. My daughter used to generally nurse more when we
stayed around the house, if your son is the same way then maybe planning
more out of the house activities on those days would help...

Dar
________________________________________________________________
GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO!
Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less!
Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit:
http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/.