In need of some brainstorming....
R
Hi there...I have 2 boys aged 3 and 5 whose passion of late is Lego Starwars and Lego Indiana Jones. The difficulty that they are experiencing is that they are at different levels and are having a hard time playing together. Incidently we have 2 wii's in the house but unfortunately one is a modified one that we bought with burned games and so they dont work on the one upstairs....only Lego starwars works on both machines. Justin (the older one) is of course very set on completing the game and figuring out the puzzles whereas the younger one is focussed on changing his character and jumping around and will go backwards through the doors he has just come in etc. They both get extremely frustrated with each other. Justin has started saying that he hates his younger brother and Jordan mainly expresses his frustration by screaming at Justin. Here are some of the ways that I have tried to help them through this situation:
I sit between them and play with them a lot of the time....I was with them for most of the afternoon and a good part of the evening - Justin was still getting really angry but I was able to diffuse the situation by helping Jordie to understand the drop out function for when Justin really needed to be able to do something and also help Jordan to get what he needed when he wanted to change characters or just explore something.
I have tried encouraging them to play on separate Wiis for a time - but that doesn't always work because they both want to play the same game or don't want to be lonely
I have also tried to encourage Justin to just have fun with it when Jordie is around and wait until he is playing with Hessel or I to really try to finish the game....this sometimes is effective but most of the time he finds this really hard to do
I have also unfortunately gotten short with them when they have been really bickering...and I don't think this is a solution at all! My husband....who is not quite as far along in our new ways of doing things will just arbitrarily turn the game off and declare a break without really trying to help them work through it because he has had enough. (My husband is actually a really patient guy normally)
So anyway - I'm sure there are other things that I have tried to do but they aren't coming to mind right now....
I'm open to suggestions,
TIA,
Ruth Suyamin
I sit between them and play with them a lot of the time....I was with them for most of the afternoon and a good part of the evening - Justin was still getting really angry but I was able to diffuse the situation by helping Jordie to understand the drop out function for when Justin really needed to be able to do something and also help Jordan to get what he needed when he wanted to change characters or just explore something.
I have tried encouraging them to play on separate Wiis for a time - but that doesn't always work because they both want to play the same game or don't want to be lonely
I have also tried to encourage Justin to just have fun with it when Jordie is around and wait until he is playing with Hessel or I to really try to finish the game....this sometimes is effective but most of the time he finds this really hard to do
I have also unfortunately gotten short with them when they have been really bickering...and I don't think this is a solution at all! My husband....who is not quite as far along in our new ways of doing things will just arbitrarily turn the game off and declare a break without really trying to help them work through it because he has had enough. (My husband is actually a really patient guy normally)
So anyway - I'm sure there are other things that I have tried to do but they aren't coming to mind right now....
I'm open to suggestions,
TIA,
Ruth Suyamin
Sandra Dodd
-=-They both get extremely frustrated with each other. Justin has
started saying that he hates his younger brother and Jordan mainly
expresses his frustration by screaming at Justin.-=-
Invite other kids over. Maybe they'll play the game with one of your
boys, or maybe two of them will find something else to do.
Even if you invite one other kid over, it will change they dynamics.
If the younger boy is goofing around, as long as he's not shooting his
teammates it might not matter. (I dont' know the particular game.)
Maybe invite a younger player to play less expertly, and another older
one another time to play with Justin.
Kirby and Marty are two and a half years apart. Sometimes it seemed
huge, and sometimes nothing, but we befriended several only-child
boys, and each time one visited the world was new and different for
Kirby and Marty. The same old swing set or Lego or toy cars would be
seen in a new light, because the other boy had other ideas.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
started saying that he hates his younger brother and Jordan mainly
expresses his frustration by screaming at Justin.-=-
Invite other kids over. Maybe they'll play the game with one of your
boys, or maybe two of them will find something else to do.
Even if you invite one other kid over, it will change they dynamics.
If the younger boy is goofing around, as long as he's not shooting his
teammates it might not matter. (I dont' know the particular game.)
Maybe invite a younger player to play less expertly, and another older
one another time to play with Justin.
Kirby and Marty are two and a half years apart. Sometimes it seemed
huge, and sometimes nothing, but we befriended several only-child
boys, and each time one visited the world was new and different for
Kirby and Marty. The same old swing set or Lego or toy cars would be
seen in a new light, because the other boy had other ideas.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
R
We do regularily have a friend that comes over to play video games with Justin but Jordie is a little harder because most of the friends we have are either homeschoolers who are doing "school" in the mornings or people who dont want their 3 yr olds playing video games...When Josiah is over things do go a lot smoother however he tends to take over and the boys just end up watching him play a lot of the time (he has restrictions at his house so he loves being at ours) He is 9 as well and so Justin pretty much worships him cuz he knows how to beat all the games. He comes home from school at 3 but he is only allowed to play video games from Thursday to Sunday....so they get a lot of playing in on the weekends :)
Sandra Dodd
-=-When Josiah is over things do go a lot smoother however he tends to
take over and the boys just end up watching him play a lot of the time
(he has restrictions at his house so he loves being at ours)-=-
That might not be such a bad thing. Things are smoother. They're
not fighting. They're seeing someone play well.
Artists watch other artists; musicians watch and listen to musicians.
Chess players watch other chess players.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
take over and the boys just end up watching him play a lot of the time
(he has restrictions at his house so he loves being at ours)-=-
That might not be such a bad thing. Things are smoother. They're
not fighting. They're seeing someone play well.
Artists watch other artists; musicians watch and listen to musicians.
Chess players watch other chess players.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
R
Oops....I read my post again and realized how that must have come across....I actually love that they enjoy watching him. Where I need the help is when there aren't any other kids to play with and they are together and making each other mental :)
Ruthie
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Ruthie
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Sandra Dodd
-=I actually love that they enjoy watching him. Where I need the help
is when there aren't any other kids to play with and they are together
and making each other mental :)-=-
That other kid isn't the only other kid in town, though. If things
are calmer when there's another boy there, find some other boys. Or
don't leave the boys to play alone. Do things with one of them to
give the other some time to play alone (computer games or whatever)
and then do some things with the other one.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
is when there aren't any other kids to play with and they are together
and making each other mental :)-=-
That other kid isn't the only other kid in town, though. If things
are calmer when there's another boy there, find some other boys. Or
don't leave the boys to play alone. Do things with one of them to
give the other some time to play alone (computer games or whatever)
and then do some things with the other one.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
secularhomeschooler
My kids are 7 and 5 and they were very excited the other day to tell me about this new version of Lego Indiana Jones/The Adventure Continues that comes out on Nov. 17th. In this new version, you can play on your own with a new "split screen" feature and then just run your character toward the middle of the screen to meet up again. The narrator in the video even says that it may help with sibling rivalry. Check out the video here. Hope that helps!
http://www.lucasarts.com/games/legoindianajones2/#/video/builder
Carolyn
http://www.lucasarts.com/games/legoindianajones2/#/video/builder
Carolyn
--- In [email protected], "R" <mommyofboo@...> wrote:
>
> Oops....I read my post again and realized how that must have come across....I actually love that they enjoy watching him. Where I need the help is when there aren't any other kids to play with and they are together and making each other mental :)
>
> Ruthie
>
> ---
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/3/2009 5:41:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
Sandra@... writes:
<<<Artists watch other artists; musicians watch and listen to musicians.
Chess players watch other chess players.>>>
We had 4 or 5 boys invited to our cabin at the Tennessee unschooler's
gathering today, with 1 Gamecube and 4 controllers. With our two boys, there
were 5 or 6 total. They decided to play a short 4 player game and switch
places after that game was over for another round. It was a long-ish game (an
hour, maybe, Mario Party-a computer "board game") and one of the boys only
liked the mini games, so he handed the controller off to another boy when
that part was over and the other boy (new to the game) was happy to watch and
learn how to play the mini games and do the "no skill required" other parts
the original player wasn't interested in. Boys ranging from 5 to around
12, all on their own, changed mid-stride and everyone was included, everyone
had a good time.
Wyl (10) had invited over the boys to play and sat out while the others
played. Wyl is not big on sharing the video game with his brother (5) much of
the time and Storm needs help negotiating turns or something similar or a
distraction until Wyl is done playing. Storm was playing when the boys came
in. Wyl, *very* graciously handed out controllers to the boys who wanted to
play first and offered to sit out. He also generously advised everyone on
how to play each mini game and offered up good strategies. It was very cool
to sit quietly by and watch all this unfold before me.
The coolest part was that Storm won! He, who never wins with family or
kids his own age, won against 3 other, much older boys-he was *so* excited! :~)
When the first game was done, everyone decided they'd had enough and
trickled back outside to play.
Sometimes it still amazes me what can happen naturally and smoothly when I
don't hover or hop right in and try to "help", in the name of avoiding
conflict. Not that I do it very much any more, but it is still amazing and
cool. (And helps me curb that urge to jump in preventatively next time... )
Peace,
De
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra@... writes:
<<<Artists watch other artists; musicians watch and listen to musicians.
Chess players watch other chess players.>>>
We had 4 or 5 boys invited to our cabin at the Tennessee unschooler's
gathering today, with 1 Gamecube and 4 controllers. With our two boys, there
were 5 or 6 total. They decided to play a short 4 player game and switch
places after that game was over for another round. It was a long-ish game (an
hour, maybe, Mario Party-a computer "board game") and one of the boys only
liked the mini games, so he handed the controller off to another boy when
that part was over and the other boy (new to the game) was happy to watch and
learn how to play the mini games and do the "no skill required" other parts
the original player wasn't interested in. Boys ranging from 5 to around
12, all on their own, changed mid-stride and everyone was included, everyone
had a good time.
Wyl (10) had invited over the boys to play and sat out while the others
played. Wyl is not big on sharing the video game with his brother (5) much of
the time and Storm needs help negotiating turns or something similar or a
distraction until Wyl is done playing. Storm was playing when the boys came
in. Wyl, *very* graciously handed out controllers to the boys who wanted to
play first and offered to sit out. He also generously advised everyone on
how to play each mini game and offered up good strategies. It was very cool
to sit quietly by and watch all this unfold before me.
The coolest part was that Storm won! He, who never wins with family or
kids his own age, won against 3 other, much older boys-he was *so* excited! :~)
When the first game was done, everyone decided they'd had enough and
trickled back outside to play.
Sometimes it still amazes me what can happen naturally and smoothly when I
don't hover or hop right in and try to "help", in the name of avoiding
conflict. Not that I do it very much any more, but it is still amazing and
cool. (And helps me curb that urge to jump in preventatively next time... )
Peace,
De
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joanna
You could see if they'd like to take turns playing when they disagree about how to play--with one watching the other for a reasonable time. My kids have chosen to do this with the computer, when we only had one, at various times. They still fall back on the "1/2 rule" when they are disagreeing about something. I was just thinking that they wouldn't feel "banished" to the lonely place of playing alone in a different room, and they might even choose to go play on the other Wii, or they might enjoy watching eachother, or wander off to do something else if they have some security that they will get their turn.
Joanna
Joanna
Joanna
> Sometimes it still amazes me what can happen naturally and smoothly when IGood point. Around our house, that tends to happen more easily with friends involved than between just my two.
> don't hover or hop right in and try to "help", in the name of avoiding
> conflict. Not that I do it very much any more, but it is still amazing and
> cool. (And helps me curb that urge to jump in preventatively next time... )
>
Joanna