Internet access
[email protected]
Hello..... I have a question about internet access. We have a neighbor that unschools, as do we, and they allow their 10 year old son unlimited internet access. He has seen some pretty scary things, porn (of all kinds, including cruel rape and animal sex), cursing and degrading music, etc. What do you all think of this.
My children do have restricted access. I really don't want my 8 & 10 year old sons to view graphic things of a pornographic nature. I remember seeing porn when I was about 8 on my mom's vhs player. It really creeped me out. I was afraid of men for a while after viewing this. I believe that I am protecting their innocence in restricting their access. They can play many games, look up most things, etc. It's just anything that would be hard core or cruel that I will block.
Thanks for your insight.
Jen
My children do have restricted access. I really don't want my 8 & 10 year old sons to view graphic things of a pornographic nature. I remember seeing porn when I was about 8 on my mom's vhs player. It really creeped me out. I was afraid of men for a while after viewing this. I believe that I am protecting their innocence in restricting their access. They can play many games, look up most things, etc. It's just anything that would be hard core or cruel that I will block.
Thanks for your insight.
Jen
Sandra Dodd
-=- He has seen some pretty scary things, porn (of all kinds,
including cruel rape and animal sex), cursing and degrading music,
etc. What do you all think of this. -=-
I think if the family is busy with fun things all day every day, the
kids will have better things to do than look for porn. I'm guessing
there are older boys there and not just a ten year old, or maybe a ten
year old whose parents are doing things other than hanging out with him.
Here's an old story from Marty's early teens.
http://sandradodd.com/sex
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
including cruel rape and animal sex), cursing and degrading music,
etc. What do you all think of this. -=-
I think if the family is busy with fun things all day every day, the
kids will have better things to do than look for porn. I'm guessing
there are older boys there and not just a ten year old, or maybe a ten
year old whose parents are doing things other than hanging out with him.
Here's an old story from Marty's early teens.
http://sandradodd.com/sex
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I think the article that I read about how you and Marty dealt with internet porn was fantastic. I think the best way to handle these issues is to be open and honest. Expressing my view point as a woman and mother as well as a happily married wife is effective.
My oldest son is almost 19 and when the issue came up with him using computers and internet, I simply told him that there is a lot of good on the computer and some really yucky things. That he needed to use his guidance system in these matters. I also told him that some people can develop unnatural expectations from porn or even crave harder core stuff as they become desensitized.
As far as I can tell, he did respect my advice and has stayed away from porn or at least the really nasties.
Jen
My oldest son is almost 19 and when the issue came up with him using computers and internet, I simply told him that there is a lot of good on the computer and some really yucky things. That he needed to use his guidance system in these matters. I also told him that some people can develop unnatural expectations from porn or even crave harder core stuff as they become desensitized.
As far as I can tell, he did respect my advice and has stayed away from porn or at least the really nasties.
Jen
Joyce Fetteroll
On Nov 2, 2009, at 8:28 PM, cookiesforthree@... wrote:
deliberately searching for it? Is it coming up when he's searching
for something else?
You don't need to answer those on the list. They aren't meant to be
accusatory questions. They're investigative questions to help you
figure out what the cause is and think more clearly rather than
through fear. Your fear has connected "free internet access" to porn
but there are more factors involved.
The internet doesn't spontaneously show kids porn. (Sounds like a
science fiction plot!) If porn is coming up, there's a reason for it.
I have safe search turned off on Google's image search and I've never
seen animal sex or rape (not sure that there's non-cruel rape).
Certain innocent search terms, like kitten for example, though, do
tend to bring up sexual images.
It's very easy to turn "Safe Search" on. Top right hand corner of
Google is Settings. Click on Search settings. Click on the radio
button next to SafeSearch Filtering. (I assume other search engines
have a similar setting.)
But rather than seeing your role as being a barrier between your
children and the nasty world, see yourself as their partner who helps
them get what they want *and avoid what they don't want*. See the
world through your kids' desires. What do *they* want? (Not the same
as what your fear wants to limit them to!) As any free person does,
they want to search freely without someone deciding for them what
they're allowed and not allowed to see. They also, like any free
person, want to avoid what they don't want to see.
Do your kids *want* to see sexual images? I'm betting they'd prefer
to avoid them! So, help them avoid it while giving them the freedom
to explore.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> He has seen some pretty scary things, porn (of all kinds, includingHow and why is he seeing this? How do you know what he's seen? Is he
> cruel rape and animal sex), cursing and degrading music, etc. What
> do you all think of this.
deliberately searching for it? Is it coming up when he's searching
for something else?
You don't need to answer those on the list. They aren't meant to be
accusatory questions. They're investigative questions to help you
figure out what the cause is and think more clearly rather than
through fear. Your fear has connected "free internet access" to porn
but there are more factors involved.
The internet doesn't spontaneously show kids porn. (Sounds like a
science fiction plot!) If porn is coming up, there's a reason for it.
I have safe search turned off on Google's image search and I've never
seen animal sex or rape (not sure that there's non-cruel rape).
Certain innocent search terms, like kitten for example, though, do
tend to bring up sexual images.
It's very easy to turn "Safe Search" on. Top right hand corner of
Google is Settings. Click on Search settings. Click on the radio
button next to SafeSearch Filtering. (I assume other search engines
have a similar setting.)
But rather than seeing your role as being a barrier between your
children and the nasty world, see yourself as their partner who helps
them get what they want *and avoid what they don't want*. See the
world through your kids' desires. What do *they* want? (Not the same
as what your fear wants to limit them to!) As any free person does,
they want to search freely without someone deciding for them what
they're allowed and not allowed to see. They also, like any free
person, want to avoid what they don't want to see.
Do your kids *want* to see sexual images? I'm betting they'd prefer
to avoid them! So, help them avoid it while giving them the freedom
to explore.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]