Waking people up, unrealistic expectations?
lindsey_osterloh
My daughter Ramsey is 5 years old and wakes people up constantly for any reason. She has activities and food avaliable if she wakes up first in the morning. Still she will wake people up to ask a question, play a different game, want a different food. If you take a nap during the day she will wake up you. A few weekends ago I was sick and my husband was home and she woke me up during a 3 hour nap 4 times. She will do it if it's one parent home or two. If one is awake or both or asleep. This is a little run on but I was just woken up.
I have a nearly 8 year old son and he didn't do this. I'm not sure if he is the anomaly or she is. Is it unrealistic to expect that she let people sleep, is she still to young? I'm frustrated.
I have a nearly 8 year old son and he didn't do this. I'm not sure if he is the anomaly or she is. Is it unrealistic to expect that she let people sleep, is she still to young? I'm frustrated.
Sandra Dodd
-=I have a nearly 8 year old son and he didn't do this. I'm not sure
if he is the anomaly or she is. Is it unrealistic to expect that she
let people sleep, is she still to young? I'm frustrated.-=-
My mom used to spank me if I woke her up. The problem for me was that
if she woke up naturally and heard me, I'd still get a spanking.
I think it's unrealistic for a mother to want to sleep in the daytime
when she has small children. When mine were little there were times I
fell asleep on the couch while they were playing in the living room,
or I would fall asleep with them when they napped and they would wake
up first and go do something. That's not ideal, but sometimes it
can't be helped.
What I didn't do would be to take a nap and expect them to take care
of themselves and not wake me up.
Maybe you could hire a neighbor to come and play with your child
quietly. When Holly was born, a twelve year old girl followed us in
when we came back from the hospital, hoping to see the new baby. Her
family had just moved to our street and they were Christian
homeschoolers. Her mom expected this girl to play with and take care
of her two younger sisters all the time and she was eager to get out
from that, so I used to pay her $3 an hour to come and take care of
Kirby and Marty while Holly and I slept. That was a win/win
situation. Maybe there's a homeschooler too young for a real job that
you could hire to change games, get snacks, and answer the questions
of your kids for a few hours a day.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
if he is the anomaly or she is. Is it unrealistic to expect that she
let people sleep, is she still to young? I'm frustrated.-=-
My mom used to spank me if I woke her up. The problem for me was that
if she woke up naturally and heard me, I'd still get a spanking.
I think it's unrealistic for a mother to want to sleep in the daytime
when she has small children. When mine were little there were times I
fell asleep on the couch while they were playing in the living room,
or I would fall asleep with them when they napped and they would wake
up first and go do something. That's not ideal, but sometimes it
can't be helped.
What I didn't do would be to take a nap and expect them to take care
of themselves and not wake me up.
Maybe you could hire a neighbor to come and play with your child
quietly. When Holly was born, a twelve year old girl followed us in
when we came back from the hospital, hoping to see the new baby. Her
family had just moved to our street and they were Christian
homeschoolers. Her mom expected this girl to play with and take care
of her two younger sisters all the time and she was eager to get out
from that, so I used to pay her $3 an hour to come and take care of
Kirby and Marty while Holly and I slept. That was a win/win
situation. Maybe there's a homeschooler too young for a real job that
you could hire to change games, get snacks, and answer the questions
of your kids for a few hours a day.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Oct 10, 2009, at 10:44 AM, lindsey_osterloh wrote:
meet it.
So telling her not to wake you is the same as telling her not to eat
the food that's right there in front of her when she's hungry, not to
sleep on the bed that's right there when she's tired, that she has to
wait until it's convenient for you.
Joyce
> Still she will wake people up to ask a question, play a differentShe has a need for people contact in that moment. She's trying to
> game, want a different food.
meet it.
So telling her not to wake you is the same as telling her not to eat
the food that's right there in front of her when she's hungry, not to
sleep on the bed that's right there when she's tired, that she has to
wait until it's convenient for you.
Joyce
carnationsgalore
> She has activities and food avaliable if she wakes up first in theWhy is she expected to entertain and feed herself in the mornings if she wakes up before everyone else? Why aren't you getting up with her? She seems awfully young for that expectation. My 11 year old doesn't like being the only one awake in the house. It's quiet and lonely.
> morning.
Beth M.
Three Mommies
Both my guys (ages 9 and 6) will wake me up if they want something, even if
there other adults in the house. The 9-year-old is just starting to let me
sleep in the morning if there's another adult already awake, but my
6-year-old will still wake me. For me the thing to do if I am groggy and
upset at being jumped on in the middle of a sound sleep is to stop, breathe,
grab them, and say, "I love you! I'm so glad to see you!" Sometimes that's
all they want and they go back to whatever they were doing. Sometimes they
tell me the time and say, "So I think it's time for you to get up." Either
way is fine by me. IF it's the middle of the night or very early morning,
I will ask if they want to cuddle with me in bed or sometimes say, "OK. Can
have a few minutes to pry my eyes open and then hop up?" This has led to
many hilarious moments when they try to pry my eyelids open while I squeeze
them shut or when I stretch and literally hop up. It's also led to moments
when they say "Do you want ot sleep some more? I can come back in a little
while."
This is a long way of saying that maybe if you can see being woken up as a
special thing between you and Ramsey it might be easier to accept the loss
of sleep :)
Peace,
Jean Elizabeth
http://3mommies.blogspot.com
there other adults in the house. The 9-year-old is just starting to let me
sleep in the morning if there's another adult already awake, but my
6-year-old will still wake me. For me the thing to do if I am groggy and
upset at being jumped on in the middle of a sound sleep is to stop, breathe,
grab them, and say, "I love you! I'm so glad to see you!" Sometimes that's
all they want and they go back to whatever they were doing. Sometimes they
tell me the time and say, "So I think it's time for you to get up." Either
way is fine by me. IF it's the middle of the night or very early morning,
I will ask if they want to cuddle with me in bed or sometimes say, "OK. Can
have a few minutes to pry my eyes open and then hop up?" This has led to
many hilarious moments when they try to pry my eyelids open while I squeeze
them shut or when I stretch and literally hop up. It's also led to moments
when they say "Do you want ot sleep some more? I can come back in a little
while."
This is a long way of saying that maybe if you can see being woken up as a
special thing between you and Ramsey it might be easier to accept the loss
of sleep :)
Peace,
Jean Elizabeth
http://3mommies.blogspot.com
On Sat, Oct 10, 2009 at 10:44 AM, lindsey_osterloh <lao80@...> wrote:
>
>
> My daughter Ramsey is 5 years old and wakes people up constantly for any
> reason. She has activities and food avaliable if she wakes up first in the
> morning. Still she will wake people up to ask a question, play a different
> game, want a different food. If you take a nap during the day she will wake
> up you. A few weekends ago I was sick and my husband was home and she woke
> me up during a 3 hour nap 4 times. She will do it if it's one parent home or
> two. If one is awake or both or asleep. This is a little run on but I was
> just woken up.
>
> I have a nearly 8 year old son and he didn't do this. I'm not sure if he is
> the anomaly or she is. Is it unrealistic to expect that she let people
> sleep, is she still to young? I'm frustrated.
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
lindsey_osterloh
"This is a long way of saying that maybe if you can see being woken up as a
special thing between you and Ramsey it might be easier to accept the loss
of sleep :)"
That is a better way of looking at it, thank you. My husband, her dad, is up with her when she does this (morning or nap). She's not all alone. I never thought about being a need only I can fill and not her Dad.
special thing between you and Ramsey it might be easier to accept the loss
of sleep :)"
That is a better way of looking at it, thank you. My husband, her dad, is up with her when she does this (morning or nap). She's not all alone. I never thought about being a need only I can fill and not her Dad.
--- In [email protected], Three Mommies <3mommies@...> wrote:
>
> Both my guys (ages 9 and 6) will wake me up if they want something, even if
> there other adults in the house. The 9-year-old is just starting to let me
> sleep in the morning if there's another adult already awake, but my
> 6-year-old will still wake me. For me the thing to do if I am groggy and
> upset at being jumped on in the middle of a sound sleep is to stop, breathe,
> grab them, and say, "I love you! I'm so glad to see you!" Sometimes that's
> all they want and they go back to whatever they were doing. Sometimes they
> tell me the time and say, "So I think it's time for you to get up." Either
> way is fine by me. IF it's the middle of the night or very early morning,
> I will ask if they want to cuddle with me in bed or sometimes say, "OK. Can
> have a few minutes to pry my eyes open and then hop up?" This has led to
> many hilarious moments when they try to pry my eyelids open while I squeeze
> them shut or when I stretch and literally hop up. It's also led to moments
> when they say "Do you want ot sleep some more? I can come back in a little
> while."
>
> This is a long way of saying that maybe if you can see being woken up as a
> special thing between you and Ramsey it might be easier to accept the loss
> of sleep :)
>
> Peace,
> Jean Elizabeth
>
> http://3mommies.blogspot.com
>
> On Sat, Oct 10, 2009 at 10:44 AM, lindsey_osterloh <lao80@...> wrote:
>
> >
> >
> > My daughter Ramsey is 5 years old and wakes people up constantly for any
> > reason. She has activities and food avaliable if she wakes up first in the
> > morning. Still she will wake people up to ask a question, play a different
> > game, want a different food. If you take a nap during the day she will wake
> > up you. A few weekends ago I was sick and my husband was home and she woke
> > me up during a 3 hour nap 4 times. She will do it if it's one parent home or
> > two. If one is awake or both or asleep. This is a little run on but I was
> > just woken up.
> >
> > I have a nearly 8 year old son and he didn't do this. I'm not sure if he is
> > the anomaly or she is. Is it unrealistic to expect that she let people
> > sleep, is she still to young? I'm frustrated.
> >
> >
> >
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
bradj
--- In [email protected], "lindsey_osterloh" <lao80@...> wrote:
Brad Jones
> I never thought about being a need only I can fill and not her Dad.This list is so great for epiphanies such as this.
Brad Jones
Sandra Dodd
-=-"This is a long way of saying that maybe if you can see being woken
up as a
special thing between you and Ramsey it might be easier to accept the
loss
of sleep :)"
-=-That is a better way of looking at it, thank you. My husband, her
dad, is up with her when she does this (morning or nap). She's not all
alone. I never thought about being a need only I can fill and not her
Dad.-=-
BUT on the other hand... if her dad is up with her, maybe part of his
"duty" should be helping you stay asleep, even if he needs to take her
somewhere else out of the house (assuming he's not up getting ready to
go to work, I mean).
Despite the fact I'm saying mothers shouldn't try to sleep through if
they have toddlers or young children, I think that if there is anyone
asleep in any house, others there should try to let them sleep if
that's a possibility. And if a dad can help a mom sleep by keeping
the kids happily occupied, that will improve relationships all the way
around.
One of the few rules at our house is to be quiet if people are
asleep. We used to let noon be the time people didn't have to be
quiet anymore, but as the kids got older, sometimes someone was
sleeping because they didn't feel well or they were working very late,
and noon was abandoned as a magic noise-making time. Part of it was
also that people were more capable of being quiet.
I was really happy one day last week that I got up and no one else was
home at all, so I could run all the appliances and watch a movie and
move furniture, even at 7:00 in the morning!
Of course I could have done that every day for the past 20 years, but
I made the choice to let my children sleep, if they were asleep. And
so the principle here was "sleeping is important and people should
sleep when they want to," but that didn't trump the more important
principle that the children should not be left to fend for themselves.
Perhaps (just guessing, or throwing out a possibility) if a child has
often been awakened when she's not ready, or if the dad hasn't been
able to sleep as long as he wanted to at least a couple of times a
week, they would be less likely to help or allow a mom to sleep.
Conversely, if the mom is generous they will be too (eventually; not
right that day).
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
up as a
special thing between you and Ramsey it might be easier to accept the
loss
of sleep :)"
-=-That is a better way of looking at it, thank you. My husband, her
dad, is up with her when she does this (morning or nap). She's not all
alone. I never thought about being a need only I can fill and not her
Dad.-=-
BUT on the other hand... if her dad is up with her, maybe part of his
"duty" should be helping you stay asleep, even if he needs to take her
somewhere else out of the house (assuming he's not up getting ready to
go to work, I mean).
Despite the fact I'm saying mothers shouldn't try to sleep through if
they have toddlers or young children, I think that if there is anyone
asleep in any house, others there should try to let them sleep if
that's a possibility. And if a dad can help a mom sleep by keeping
the kids happily occupied, that will improve relationships all the way
around.
One of the few rules at our house is to be quiet if people are
asleep. We used to let noon be the time people didn't have to be
quiet anymore, but as the kids got older, sometimes someone was
sleeping because they didn't feel well or they were working very late,
and noon was abandoned as a magic noise-making time. Part of it was
also that people were more capable of being quiet.
I was really happy one day last week that I got up and no one else was
home at all, so I could run all the appliances and watch a movie and
move furniture, even at 7:00 in the morning!
Of course I could have done that every day for the past 20 years, but
I made the choice to let my children sleep, if they were asleep. And
so the principle here was "sleeping is important and people should
sleep when they want to," but that didn't trump the more important
principle that the children should not be left to fend for themselves.
Perhaps (just guessing, or throwing out a possibility) if a child has
often been awakened when she's not ready, or if the dad hasn't been
able to sleep as long as he wanted to at least a couple of times a
week, they would be less likely to help or allow a mom to sleep.
Conversely, if the mom is generous they will be too (eventually; not
right that day).
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
One of the few rules at our house is to be quiet if people are
asleep.
-=-=-=-
Couldn't that have been a principle too? Maybe like Kindness.
Being kind to let others sleep when they need?
That is how I phrase here at home since Brian wakes up at 4:30 AM everyday of the year to go work very hard all day as he does not get in until 8:00 or 9:00 PM on good days.
My children want to be kind to their dad. They love him. Brian is a great dad and will often stay up until way past his "bed time" to play with them. But when he asks that he really needs to sleep early that night they are very willing to let dad sleep and being quiet. They may need some reminders sometimes.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
asleep.
-=-=-=-
Couldn't that have been a principle too? Maybe like Kindness.
Being kind to let others sleep when they need?
That is how I phrase here at home since Brian wakes up at 4:30 AM everyday of the year to go work very hard all day as he does not get in until 8:00 or 9:00 PM on good days.
My children want to be kind to their dad. They love him. Brian is a great dad and will often stay up until way past his "bed time" to play with them. But when he asks that he really needs to sleep early that night they are very willing to let dad sleep and being quiet. They may need some reminders sometimes.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=One of the few rules at our house is to be quiet if people are
asleep.
-=-=-=-
Couldn't that have been a principle too? Maybe like Kindness.-=-
I suppose, but we imposed it on guests too. If someone wanted to come
over I'd say "Yes, but we have to be quiet so Holly can sleep," or
"Not until the kids wake up, unless you want to be really quiet."
It was a condition of visiting our house. I didn't care what their
principles were. <G>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
asleep.
-=-=-=-
Couldn't that have been a principle too? Maybe like Kindness.-=-
I suppose, but we imposed it on guests too. If someone wanted to come
over I'd say "Yes, but we have to be quiet so Holly can sleep," or
"Not until the kids wake up, unless you want to be really quiet."
It was a condition of visiting our house. I didn't care what their
principles were. <G>
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I have to say I do have "rules" for guests in my house too.
Maybe because many of the people that come visit are not used to the farm.
Sometimes is because other families use rules and that is how their kids "behave".
So I will tell them not to go near the bull pen ever, or go in with the pony ( safety issues).
Keep noise down once Brian goes to bed is one I always tell people visiting too.
I also do ask everyone to take their shoes off because living in the farm your shoes get very dirty.
Most of what I ask for are commom courtesy or safety related.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maybe because many of the people that come visit are not used to the farm.
Sometimes is because other families use rules and that is how their kids "behave".
So I will tell them not to go near the bull pen ever, or go in with the pony ( safety issues).
Keep noise down once Brian goes to bed is one I always tell people visiting too.
I also do ask everyone to take their shoes off because living in the farm your shoes get very dirty.
Most of what I ask for are commom courtesy or safety related.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]