the company you keep
Sandra Dodd
"Keep company with those who make you better." ~ English saying
That was in Laura Endres' (picesgrrrl's) sigline.
Frank Smith said something like that in Learning and Forgetting, that
people become like the people they... hang out with? respect? If
anyone's in the mood to find a quote, that would be awesome. I'm
about to need to go to physical therapy and I don't know right where
my copy of that book is anyway. I mean, it's in my office but that
hardly narrows the search these days.
Choosing friends seems random sometimes, but I think maybe that's
another holdover from school. We don't have to "be friends" in a
bosom-buddy deep-trust kind of way with co-workers or others are
church or even with other unschoolers. It's okay to have
acquaintances we're friendly with and to be talkative and smiley, but
I think it's important to have a few people you can really trust.
They don't even have to be people you know. I pretty much trust Frank
Smith. <g>
If people aren't discriminating in the people they trust, their kids
might not learn to be either. I don't mean to lecture or "teach"
them, but jut to keep it in mind, and not to bring too many
untrustworthy people into their lives if you can help it.
I have some friends who drain me for various reasons. Often they're
so fun I don't mind at all. I have friends who fill me up, and I'm
careful not to ask it too often, considering that I might be a drain
on their energy myself.
For a couple of months my mind has been full of flitting thoughts of
reliability and integrity (and also swine flu for a week and some,
pain killers for the past month, so I'll admit that). How many lies
make a person a liar? How many chances should we give siblings or
parents or neighbors or friends before we distance ourselves? It's
not worth getting mad at an unreliable person for being unreliable,
nor in some cases to be angry at a liar for lying. Some people lie.
Sometimes I'm in a position to try and change their minds about it,
but my missionary/volunteer work is about unschooling and parenting,
not about truthtelling. So I distance myself from them and figure
they're going to keep doing what they're doing. I hope those people
who trust me will not be caused to regret it (by maintaining my own
integrity) and that those who don't will find some other people to
hang out with and be happy.
I'm rambling, and I've kinda rambled myself into a corner, but that
sigline quote was perfect to set to flitting around with my other
thoughts lately.
The biggest reward of being good is being a good person. "Virtue is
its own reward." I think that's a saying in just about every language
on the planet.
Sandra
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
That was in Laura Endres' (picesgrrrl's) sigline.
Frank Smith said something like that in Learning and Forgetting, that
people become like the people they... hang out with? respect? If
anyone's in the mood to find a quote, that would be awesome. I'm
about to need to go to physical therapy and I don't know right where
my copy of that book is anyway. I mean, it's in my office but that
hardly narrows the search these days.
Choosing friends seems random sometimes, but I think maybe that's
another holdover from school. We don't have to "be friends" in a
bosom-buddy deep-trust kind of way with co-workers or others are
church or even with other unschoolers. It's okay to have
acquaintances we're friendly with and to be talkative and smiley, but
I think it's important to have a few people you can really trust.
They don't even have to be people you know. I pretty much trust Frank
Smith. <g>
If people aren't discriminating in the people they trust, their kids
might not learn to be either. I don't mean to lecture or "teach"
them, but jut to keep it in mind, and not to bring too many
untrustworthy people into their lives if you can help it.
I have some friends who drain me for various reasons. Often they're
so fun I don't mind at all. I have friends who fill me up, and I'm
careful not to ask it too often, considering that I might be a drain
on their energy myself.
For a couple of months my mind has been full of flitting thoughts of
reliability and integrity (and also swine flu for a week and some,
pain killers for the past month, so I'll admit that). How many lies
make a person a liar? How many chances should we give siblings or
parents or neighbors or friends before we distance ourselves? It's
not worth getting mad at an unreliable person for being unreliable,
nor in some cases to be angry at a liar for lying. Some people lie.
Sometimes I'm in a position to try and change their minds about it,
but my missionary/volunteer work is about unschooling and parenting,
not about truthtelling. So I distance myself from them and figure
they're going to keep doing what they're doing. I hope those people
who trust me will not be caused to regret it (by maintaining my own
integrity) and that those who don't will find some other people to
hang out with and be happy.
I'm rambling, and I've kinda rambled myself into a corner, but that
sigline quote was perfect to set to flitting around with my other
thoughts lately.
The biggest reward of being good is being a good person. "Virtue is
its own reward." I think that's a saying in just about every language
on the planet.
Sandra
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
deannat97
>>>> "Keep company with those who make you better." ~ English sayingFrank Smith said something like that in Learning and Forgetting, that
people become like the people they... hang out with? respect? If
anyone's in the mood to find a quote, that would be awesome. >>>>>
"You learn in communities of people who do what you are expected to or want to learn......You learn from the company you keep."
I read this book about a year and a half ago, and these were two of the three quotes I was compelled to write down. It was a struggle, because I had just had extensive reconstructive surgery on my dominant hand and was working hard to write legibly with my left hand. But the phrases really rang in my head, and so I struggled to get them down. The words spoke volumes to me in terms of my own personal worries, societal expectations, and strivings -- both for myself and my son. Wise words, indeed. I keep them in a little file of scraps and bits of paper with quotes I jot down, my own personal salve for times when I start to panic or lose trust in our unschooling life.
The third quote was this: "For learning to take place there must be:
comprehension;
interest;
confidence
and assistance when we seek it."
Sounds like unschooling to me :-)
Deanna
Sandra Dodd
Thank you, Deanna! How cool that you had already written it down
(painstakingly; sorry).
Sandra
(painstakingly; sorry).
Sandra