New with question
cosmbo
i was fascinated with the idea of unschooling when my 2yo was younger. I spent time with her, allowed her to sleep wtih me when she wanted. She could color when she wanted, paint, etc. It is a very supportive enviornment-until she doesn't get what she wants.
no, i'm not saying, 'there's a cookie on the table, but you can't have it!"
today i came home with some cute, little individual pies for the kids for breakfast (i figure they have the same sugar as donuts..), anwyas, she is happy till she remembers she had chocolate cake the day before and starts screaming, 'i want chocolate cake!'
problem, there is no chocolate cake. it's gone. this is how it is when she doesn't get what she wants, more then once a day.
is this the age? where did i go wrong with her? i know kids (older) that were unschooled and they are very respectable. is this just the age? how do i handle the fits? i mean..she goes into such a fit, and gets so riled up she doesn't even remember why she's pitching the fit.. if you try to talk to her, she'll just keep screaming the same thing, 'i want ____, I want_____. NO!!!! i want_____'.
it's pointless to compromise when she's like that. she's angry, she won't let me or anyone else hold her, just lays on the ground kicking and screaming.
advice, please
stacey
no, i'm not saying, 'there's a cookie on the table, but you can't have it!"
today i came home with some cute, little individual pies for the kids for breakfast (i figure they have the same sugar as donuts..), anwyas, she is happy till she remembers she had chocolate cake the day before and starts screaming, 'i want chocolate cake!'
problem, there is no chocolate cake. it's gone. this is how it is when she doesn't get what she wants, more then once a day.
is this the age? where did i go wrong with her? i know kids (older) that were unschooled and they are very respectable. is this just the age? how do i handle the fits? i mean..she goes into such a fit, and gets so riled up she doesn't even remember why she's pitching the fit.. if you try to talk to her, she'll just keep screaming the same thing, 'i want ____, I want_____. NO!!!! i want_____'.
it's pointless to compromise when she's like that. she's angry, she won't let me or anyone else hold her, just lays on the ground kicking and screaming.
advice, please
stacey
sandralynndodd
-=-I spent
time with her, allowed her to sleep wtih me when she wanted. -=-
Have those things ended?
Would you not have spent time with her even without an interest in unschooling?
-=-It is a very supportive enviornment-until she
doesn't get what she wants. -=-
You're saying you're being supportive until she doesn't get what she wants. I don't think that's what you're thinking, but it's what you wrote.
-=-no, i'm not saying, 'there's a cookie on the table, but you
can't have it!" today i came home with some cute, little
individual pies for the kids for breakfast (i figure they
have the same sugar as donuts..), anwyas, -=-
Donuts and pies and cake aren't bad if there are other options. None is protein. When my daughter, Holly, melted down at that age (or still; or me, pretty much too) what was needed was protein. She needed scrambled eggs, or a tuna sandwich, or cheese and nuts. Then when she wasn't protein-deprived she could calm down and be nice. It might take a while, and if you always wait until a fit to remember to provide protein, there will always be fits. You might go weeks without a fit if you keep protein available. And not *just* protein foods, but a range of things.
If cake was there yesterday, where did it go? Was there a large amount and she had some and parents finished off the rest? Was there a little and all shared equally and it's just gone?
Maybe have enough cake or pie there that she can always have more for a while. Make your own. If you only have one child, maybe baking wouldn't be so hard. With three it can seem impossible sometimes, but I'm thinking you have one. If you hate to bake, buy day-old, maybe. Maybe there's a commercial-bakery outlet store?
Here's something about protein and something about why having more prevents the scarcity and "value."
http://sandradodd.com/eating/protein
http://sandradodd.com/t/economics
Sandra
time with her, allowed her to sleep wtih me when she wanted. -=-
Have those things ended?
Would you not have spent time with her even without an interest in unschooling?
-=-It is a very supportive enviornment-until she
doesn't get what she wants. -=-
You're saying you're being supportive until she doesn't get what she wants. I don't think that's what you're thinking, but it's what you wrote.
-=-no, i'm not saying, 'there's a cookie on the table, but you
can't have it!" today i came home with some cute, little
individual pies for the kids for breakfast (i figure they
have the same sugar as donuts..), anwyas, -=-
Donuts and pies and cake aren't bad if there are other options. None is protein. When my daughter, Holly, melted down at that age (or still; or me, pretty much too) what was needed was protein. She needed scrambled eggs, or a tuna sandwich, or cheese and nuts. Then when she wasn't protein-deprived she could calm down and be nice. It might take a while, and if you always wait until a fit to remember to provide protein, there will always be fits. You might go weeks without a fit if you keep protein available. And not *just* protein foods, but a range of things.
If cake was there yesterday, where did it go? Was there a large amount and she had some and parents finished off the rest? Was there a little and all shared equally and it's just gone?
Maybe have enough cake or pie there that she can always have more for a while. Make your own. If you only have one child, maybe baking wouldn't be so hard. With three it can seem impossible sometimes, but I'm thinking you have one. If you hate to bake, buy day-old, maybe. Maybe there's a commercial-bakery outlet store?
Here's something about protein and something about why having more prevents the scarcity and "value."
http://sandradodd.com/eating/protein
http://sandradodd.com/t/economics
Sandra
Sandra Dodd
-=-is this the age? where did i go wrong with her? i know kids (older)
that were unschooled and they are very respectable. is this just the
age? how do i handle the fits? i mean..she goes into such a fit, and
gets so riled up she doesn't even remember why she's pitching the
fit.. -=-
"Pitching a fit" isn't a nice way to discuss your partner's
communication.
-=-i know kids (older) that were unschooled and...-=-
A two year old can't really be considered to have been
"unschooled." It seems you paid attention to her and let her sleep
with you, and then something happened. Something changed. She might
be reacting to the change, if there was one.
http://sandradodd.com/partners/child
-=-it's pointless to compromise when she's like that. she's angry, she
won't let me or anyone else hold her, just lays on the ground kicking
and screaming.-=-
To compromise in what way?
Who are the "anyone else" people she also won't let hold her?
When someone lying on the ground kicking and screaming, it's usually
because their early attempts to communicate were ignored or put off.
There is no "later" to a two-year-old. They don't understand that
yet. There is distraction and joy and "Yes, I'll get that next time
I go to the store," or "Yes, I wish we still had some." And then do
it. Don't just say that and blow the person off.
I'm guessing (and I could be wrong) that you're saying "no" in
there. Too much no can lead anyone to lie on the ground kicking and
screaming, or worse, when they're older and have access to other kinds
of "communication."
http://sandradodd.com/yes
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
that were unschooled and they are very respectable. is this just the
age? how do i handle the fits? i mean..she goes into such a fit, and
gets so riled up she doesn't even remember why she's pitching the
fit.. -=-
"Pitching a fit" isn't a nice way to discuss your partner's
communication.
-=-i know kids (older) that were unschooled and...-=-
A two year old can't really be considered to have been
"unschooled." It seems you paid attention to her and let her sleep
with you, and then something happened. Something changed. She might
be reacting to the change, if there was one.
http://sandradodd.com/partners/child
-=-it's pointless to compromise when she's like that. she's angry, she
won't let me or anyone else hold her, just lays on the ground kicking
and screaming.-=-
To compromise in what way?
Who are the "anyone else" people she also won't let hold her?
When someone lying on the ground kicking and screaming, it's usually
because their early attempts to communicate were ignored or put off.
There is no "later" to a two-year-old. They don't understand that
yet. There is distraction and joy and "Yes, I'll get that next time
I go to the store," or "Yes, I wish we still had some." And then do
it. Don't just say that and blow the person off.
I'm guessing (and I could be wrong) that you're saying "no" in
there. Too much no can lead anyone to lie on the ground kicking and
screaming, or worse, when they're older and have access to other kinds
of "communication."
http://sandradodd.com/yes
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
She's two.
You know the expression "the terrible twos" -- that's because they often
have these kinds of extreme emotions during that age. Some don't - but
it is common. On an old video, somewhere, we have footage of someone
offering Roya an ice cream cone. You see the ice cream cone being taken
at the same time as she's screaming, "NO NO I dont' WANT it." Then she
starts eating it.
As a parent, you try your honest best to have what your child wants
available - and you plan ahead to make sure the child is getting enough
opportunity to rest and eat and have quiet time and plenty of exercise
and LOTS of parents' loving and cuddling and attention. And your two yo
still seems to have these times when he/she is so angry, frustrated,
unhappy -- so you ride those times out as sweetly and gently as you can.
Don't lose YOUR cool - be sympathetic, kind, but calm and
matter-of-fact. "Sorry, no cake today, sweetie." Just simple clear
statements. Giving options helps her feel more in control, but sometimes
too many options can be overwhelming and cause stress and meltdowns -
try offering just two options at a time, see if that helps. "We have
little pies or peanut butter toast.
When a little child is having a meltdown, it is really good for the
parent to remain calm and okay and soothing - helps the child not feel
as crazy out of control. Try to remember it has more to do with brain
chemistry than anything else. The child isn't being manipulative or mean
or disrespectful - the child is "losing it" because his/her brain isn't
fully functional yet - there is development going on in the brain that
is typical for that stage of life, but it also is making it difficult
for the child to handle certain kinds of situations.
-pam
You know the expression "the terrible twos" -- that's because they often
have these kinds of extreme emotions during that age. Some don't - but
it is common. On an old video, somewhere, we have footage of someone
offering Roya an ice cream cone. You see the ice cream cone being taken
at the same time as she's screaming, "NO NO I dont' WANT it." Then she
starts eating it.
As a parent, you try your honest best to have what your child wants
available - and you plan ahead to make sure the child is getting enough
opportunity to rest and eat and have quiet time and plenty of exercise
and LOTS of parents' loving and cuddling and attention. And your two yo
still seems to have these times when he/she is so angry, frustrated,
unhappy -- so you ride those times out as sweetly and gently as you can.
Don't lose YOUR cool - be sympathetic, kind, but calm and
matter-of-fact. "Sorry, no cake today, sweetie." Just simple clear
statements. Giving options helps her feel more in control, but sometimes
too many options can be overwhelming and cause stress and meltdowns -
try offering just two options at a time, see if that helps. "We have
little pies or peanut butter toast.
When a little child is having a meltdown, it is really good for the
parent to remain calm and okay and soothing - helps the child not feel
as crazy out of control. Try to remember it has more to do with brain
chemistry than anything else. The child isn't being manipulative or mean
or disrespectful - the child is "losing it" because his/her brain isn't
fully functional yet - there is development going on in the brain that
is typical for that stage of life, but it also is making it difficult
for the child to handle certain kinds of situations.
-pam
On 9/26/2009 6:55 AM, cosmbo wrote:
> is this the age? where did i go wrong with her? i know kids (older) that were unschooled and they are very respectable. is this just the age? how do i handle the fits? i mean..she goes into such a fit, and gets so riled up she doesn't even remember why she's pitching the fit.. if you try to talk to her, she'll just keep screaming the same thing, 'i want ____, I want_____. NO!!!! i want_____'.
>
Joyce Fetteroll
On Sep 26, 2009, at 11:18 AM, Pam Sorooshian wrote:
the need to fix an upsetness and then get frustrated when the child
won't cooperate in the way the parent thinks will make them all better.
Think ahead to avoid as many meltdowns as you can. For the ones you
couldn't anticipate, offer pathways out, suggestions of other things
like Pam said, but don't make them a requirement.
Give her your sympathy. Quite often what someone needs -- this is
true of adults too! -- is someone to understand how upsetting being
disappointed it. Sometimes people just need to grieve for a bit.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> When a little child is having a meltdown, it is really good for theSoothing is a good word. I think some parents can get caught up in
> parent to remain calm and okay and soothing
the need to fix an upsetness and then get frustrated when the child
won't cooperate in the way the parent thinks will make them all better.
Think ahead to avoid as many meltdowns as you can. For the ones you
couldn't anticipate, offer pathways out, suggestions of other things
like Pam said, but don't make them a requirement.
Give her your sympathy. Quite often what someone needs -- this is
true of adults too! -- is someone to understand how upsetting being
disappointed it. Sometimes people just need to grieve for a bit.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
>>>problem, there is no chocolate cake. it's gone. this is how it is when she doesn't get what she wants, more then once a day.>>>Did she say she wanted more cake after it was gone? If that were the case, I would've tried to get more cake instead of little pies.
>>> is this just the age? how do i handle the fits? i mean..she goes into such a fit, and gets so riled up she doesn't even remember why she's pitching the fit.. if you try to talk to her, she'll just keep screaming the same thing, 'i want ____, I want_____. NO!!!! i want_____'.it's pointless to compromise when she's like that. she's angry, she won't let me or anyone else hold her, just lays on the ground kicking and screaming.>>>
She's expressing very big feelings. That is not the time to compromise! Don't try to hold her if she doesn't want to be held. Sit beside her and be calm and centered and let her let it all out. When she seems like she's starting to calm herself, try being sympathetic with her. Acknowledge her great disappointment over not being able to have any more cake.
Then the biggest next thing you could do, is to try to get more cake. If your child knows that you are there to help her get what she wants, she'll be much more willing to be calm when something is gone that she wants because she KNOWS that you will help her get what she wants. That is a pattern that takes a while for some kids and some kids are way more intense than others when they feel the world is unjust.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
stephanie
Stacey,
Have you ever heard of validation? Sometimes all a child or adult for that matter needs is to know that he/she is being heard and understood.
I recommend reading "Raising our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort. It was pivotal for me in my shift from controlling to connection.
Good luck,
Steph
Sent from my BlackBerry� smartphone with Nextel Direct Connect
-----Original Message-----
From: "cosmbo" <alabtu@...>
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 2009 13:55:29
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] New with question
i was fascinated with the idea of unschooling when my 2yo was younger. I spent time with her, allowed her to sleep wtih me when she wanted. She could color when she wanted, paint, etc. It is a very supportive enviornment-until she doesn't get what she wants.
no, i'm not saying, 'there's a cookie on the table, but you can't have it!"
today i came home with some cute, little individual pies for the kids for breakfast (i figure they have the same sugar as donuts..), anwyas, she is happy till she remembers she had chocolate cake the day before and starts screaming, 'i want chocolate cake!'
problem, there is no chocolate cake. it's gone. this is how it is when she doesn't get what she wants, more then once a day.
is this the age? where did i go wrong with her? i know kids (older) that were unschooled and they are very respectable. is this just the age? how do i handle the fits? i mean..she goes into such a fit, and gets so riled up she doesn't even remember why she's pitching the fit.. if you try to talk to her, she'll just keep screaming the same thing, 'i want____, I want_____. NO!!!! i want_____'.
it's pointless to compromise when she's like that. she's angry, she won't let me or anyone else hold her, just lays on the ground kicking and screaming.
advice, please
stacey
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Have you ever heard of validation? Sometimes all a child or adult for that matter needs is to know that he/she is being heard and understood.
I recommend reading "Raising our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort. It was pivotal for me in my shift from controlling to connection.
Good luck,
Steph
Sent from my BlackBerry� smartphone with Nextel Direct Connect
-----Original Message-----
From: "cosmbo" <alabtu@...>
Date: Sat, 26 Sep 2009 13:55:29
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] New with question
i was fascinated with the idea of unschooling when my 2yo was younger. I spent time with her, allowed her to sleep wtih me when she wanted. She could color when she wanted, paint, etc. It is a very supportive enviornment-until she doesn't get what she wants.
no, i'm not saying, 'there's a cookie on the table, but you can't have it!"
today i came home with some cute, little individual pies for the kids for breakfast (i figure they have the same sugar as donuts..), anwyas, she is happy till she remembers she had chocolate cake the day before and starts screaming, 'i want chocolate cake!'
problem, there is no chocolate cake. it's gone. this is how it is when she doesn't get what she wants, more then once a day.
is this the age? where did i go wrong with her? i know kids (older) that were unschooled and they are very respectable. is this just the age? how do i handle the fits? i mean..she goes into such a fit, and gets so riled up she doesn't even remember why she's pitching the fit.. if you try to talk to her, she'll just keep screaming the same thing, 'i want____, I want_____. NO!!!! i want_____'.
it's pointless to compromise when she's like that. she's angry, she won't let me or anyone else hold her, just lays on the ground kicking and screaming.
advice, please
stacey
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lauren
>>>Donuts and pies and cake aren't bad if there are other options. None is protein. When my daughter, Holly, melted down at that age (or still; or me, pretty much too) what was needed was protein. She needed scrambled eggs, or a tuna sandwich, or cheese and nuts. Then when she wasn't protein-deprived she could calm down and be nice.<<<*I'm* like this too! ;)
>>>Maybe have enough cake or pie there that she can always have more for a while. Make your own.<<<I say, have your cake and eat protein too! I love making foods as nutrient dense and possible, while also delicious! I've been using recipes off the elanaspantry.com site lately, and have been loving the results! She uses lots of (high protein and essential fatty acid-filled) almond flour as the base to lots of recipes, and usually no refined sugars. Also, here is a recipe for pumpkin seed flour based chocolate cake from another site: http://www.nourishingmeals.com/2009/06/chocolate-pumpkin-seed-flour-cake-and.html
Just thought this might be useful!
Lauren :)
Lauren
>>>is this the age? where did i go wrong with her? i know kids (older) that were unschooled and they are very respectable. is this just the age? how do i handle the fits?<<<I have a 2.5 year old, and I don't think it's about going 'wrong with her'--I think it's partly the age, but also how we, as parents, react in various situations. If I were to say to my 2.5 yo, "No, sorry, cake is gone--you can't have any cake, it's not an option", he would most likely get very upset as well. So, I try to work on ways to help him meet his needs, and to validate what he wants, and problem solve with him. Doing these kind of things, I find it much easier to just *avoid* 'fits'.
In this situation, I might say: "You want more chocolate cake? Oh, we ate all the chocolate cake yesterday? Hmmm--should we get some at the store today? Let's write it on the list (drawing a pic of cake on a 'list')" (Sometimes this is all he needs--to know I will get more if he wants it, and then I make SURE to buy more the next time we go to the store. He *trusts*, from past experience, that I will help him get what he wants.) Or, if he wanted it right then, I might say "Should we make a chocolate cake? Let's see if we have the ingredients" etc., and work on ways to make it for him. (I usually try to keep some of his favorite baked goods in individual serving sizes in the freezer--cupcakes, cookies, etc.--so that this isn't as much of an issue. I try to make sure to make more of his faves before the last servings run out, but I have been known to bake a batch of cookies at 10 pm when he wants them! We are night owls around here. The good thing about baking cake or cookies is that I'm usually always in the mood to have some too! ;)
I find life feels smoothest and easiest and happiest when I try to look at the situation at hand, in the moment (my son wants cake and there isn't any left--how can I help him get what he wants) vs. over-moralizing of what's happening (something I think adults are prone to do) as in thinking "Why does he act like this, what did I do wrong, will he always be like this, etc..." Finding ways to say, "yes" when our first impulse might be to say "sorry, no", has been very helpful for me. And b/c my son KNOWS I'm his partner (from our past experiences together), that I'm going to try to help him get what he wants and needs, he really seems pretty flexible and understanding if I need him to wait or ask him if an alternative will work for him (ie, Oh, we ate all the cake--do you want ice cream instead?, etc.) I think it takes time and a lot of "yes" on our part as parents to build this trust though...
Good luck! HTH!
Lauren :)
Sandra Dodd
-=-but I have been known to bake a batch of cookies at 10 pm when he
wants them! We are night owls around here. The good thing about baking
cake or cookies is that I'm usually always in the mood to have some
too! ;) -=-
Oooh... That stirred a repressed memory in me of sending the kids to a
neighbor to borrow two eggs at nearly 10:00 pm one night, because we
all just had to have a cake but I couldn't drive for eggs because the
baby was asleep. The neighbors knew us well and liked us, which is
all that saves me the shame of scaring people late at night with
someone at the door, and then it being two little kids wanting eggs so
their mom can bake a cake "past bedtime."
So here's some more unschooling advice: Never run out of eggs.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
wants them! We are night owls around here. The good thing about baking
cake or cookies is that I'm usually always in the mood to have some
too! ;) -=-
Oooh... That stirred a repressed memory in me of sending the kids to a
neighbor to borrow two eggs at nearly 10:00 pm one night, because we
all just had to have a cake but I couldn't drive for eggs because the
baby was asleep. The neighbors knew us well and liked us, which is
all that saves me the shame of scaring people late at night with
someone at the door, and then it being two little kids wanting eggs so
their mom can bake a cake "past bedtime."
So here's some more unschooling advice: Never run out of eggs.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jessica
If you have a microwave, do a search for chocolate mug cake... it takes about 5 minutes, including time in the microwave... it's not the same as a baked cake but it's fun... tastes more like a steamed cake, but it's chocolate...
Here's a link for one and there are other mug cakes if you remove the word "chocolate" from the search:
http://www.dizzy-dee.com/recipe/chocolate-cake-in-5-minutes
Jessica
Here's a link for one and there are other mug cakes if you remove the word "chocolate" from the search:
http://www.dizzy-dee.com/recipe/chocolate-cake-in-5-minutes
> problem, there is no chocolate cake. it's gone. this is how it is when she doesn't get what she wants, more then once a day.Cheers,
> Maybe have enough cake or pie there that she can always have more for a while. Make your own. If you only have one child, maybe baking wouldn't be so hard. With three it can seem impossible sometimes, but I'm thinking you have one. If you hate to bake, buy day-old, maybe. Maybe there's a commercial-bakery outlet store?
Jessica
Sandra Dodd
-=-If you have a microwave, do a search for chocolate mug cake... it
takes about 5 minutes, including time in the microwave... it's not the
same as a baked cake but it's fun... tastes more like a steamed cake,
but it's chocolate...=-
Oooh! Emergency chocolate fix!
The sprinkles from The Netherlands on hot buttered toast are pretty
good too. They're in a box, and they're called DeRuijter. Or
Hershey's chocolate syrup on a piece of toast. Or some chocolate
chips melted and stirred with nuts. Those have been some of my
medicinal-chocolate doses.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
takes about 5 minutes, including time in the microwave... it's not the
same as a baked cake but it's fun... tastes more like a steamed cake,
but it's chocolate...=-
Oooh! Emergency chocolate fix!
The sprinkles from The Netherlands on hot buttered toast are pretty
good too. They're in a box, and they're called DeRuijter. Or
Hershey's chocolate syrup on a piece of toast. Or some chocolate
chips melted and stirred with nuts. Those have been some of my
medicinal-chocolate doses.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Making a little cake is pretty easy at any!
We do it all the time here as my 3 year old loves to make cakes or cupcakes.
IF you need recipes let me know. I make cakes all the time at all times of the day.
If we reallt don't have something like eggs ( I live out in the country) then she is willing to wait until we can get some.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We do it all the time here as my 3 year old loves to make cakes or cupcakes.
IF you need recipes let me know. I make cakes all the time at all times of the day.
If we reallt don't have something like eggs ( I live out in the country) then she is willing to wait until we can get some.
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
carnationsgalore
> today i came home with some cute, little individual pies for theHmm.. maybe you could rethink the above statement. YOU came home, meaning your child wasn't with you? YOU thought the little pies were cute, so you assumed your child would feel the same way? And how does the fact that the pies probably have the same amount of sugar as donuts come into this?
> kids for breakfast (i figure they have the same sugar as donuts..)
If you had taken your son with you, would you have let him pick the chocolate cake again even though you just had it yesterday? If there is some reason you cannot not take him with you, can you ask him what he would like from the store? If he doesn't know, give him some options. I still do that for my kids, and they are 11, 13, and 17. Yes, sometimes I buy things I think they might like, but I always have something I know they will like just in case.
Beth M.
Jenny Cyphers
>>>Finding ways to say, "yes" when our first impulse might be to say "sorry, no", has been very helpful for me. >>>I was at a park day the other day, only Margaux and I and one other mom and kids showed up. She has little kids, 1 and 3, she's on this list too. Her 1 yr old answers "yes" to just about everything. It's really really cute. We were talking about that, and the mom said that perhaps it's because she's always saying "yes", so that her little one copies that. I've seen little kids that will answer "no" to everything, and I got to say it's not nearly as cute as a little kid that says "yes" to everything. That affirmative answer is really powerful, even for really little ones that are just figuring it out!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robin Bentley
Or, if you like hazelnuts and chocolate, Nutella is yummy on toast.
Robin B.
Robin B.
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Oooh! Emergency chocolate fix!
> The sprinkles from The Netherlands on hot buttered toast are pretty
> good too. They're in a box, and they're called DeRuijter. Or
> Hershey's chocolate syrup on a piece of toast. Or some chocolate
> chips melted and stirred with nuts. Those have been some of my
> medicinal-chocolate doses.
Kate Stavisky
Nutella on leftover waffles in a favorite here. Sublime. Better than most
cake, actually ;-)
cake, actually ;-)
On Sun, Sep 27, 2009 at 2:23 PM, Robin Bentley <robin.bentley@...>wrote:
>
>
> Or, if you like hazelnuts and chocolate, Nutella is yummy on toast.
>
> Robin B.
>
> >
> > Oooh! Emergency chocolate fix!
> > The sprinkles from The Netherlands on hot buttered toast are pretty
> > good too. They're in a box, and they're called DeRuijter. Or
> > Hershey's chocolate syrup on a piece of toast. Or some chocolate
> > chips melted and stirred with nuts. Those have been some of my
> > medicinal-chocolate doses.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cosmbo
>i still spend time with her. unfortunately, i'm stuck working nights now 4 days a week. so i go to sleep around 3pm. i stay up all night, come home, spend time with the kids..then my 8yo kind of plays the 'babysitter' while i lay down. i leave plenty for them to do, snacks (and they wake me when needed), movies i've found on youtube that i think they'll like, library books and they play/find games on the computer.
> Have those things ended?
any othe ideas?
>i don't think so..i was raised with the mom, 'go outside and play', so this is new for me. without the 'unshcooling concept', i would had pretty much left them on their own.
> Would you not have spent time with her even without an interest in unschooling?
>no, that's what i'm saying. we're limited on funds..toward the end of the month, food is scarce. we have $0 for food..none. what's for breakfast-cereal. that's it. we have no milk. we have some bread, but they've had peanutbutter and jelly yesterday for breakfast. we have no donuts. no, we can't buy any. if i had yoghurt i'd make yogurt popsicles (big hit;) or a little shortcake or something..
> -=-It is a very supportive enviornment-until she
> doesn't get what she wants. -=-
>
> You're saying you're being supportive until she doesn't get what she wants. I don't think that's what you're thinking, but it's what you wrote.
but now we're limited. it's supportive, i understand how she feels. but i can't change anything. i get paid tomorrow..
>proten? i never heard of that. i will see if she'll eat eggs. i have the faster, lol;) nuts are kind of expensive (if i buy those, i won't have $$$ at the end of the month). i can't remember if she'll eat tuna..(sisters won't eat it, so i don't usually buy..), but besides meat, anyone have any other suggestions for protein? protein drinks? (are they healthy?? they have chocolate ones.)
> -=-no, i'm not saying, 'there's a cookie on the table, but you
> can't have it!" today i came home with some cute, little
> individual pies for the kids for breakfast (i figure they
> have the same sugar as donuts..), anwyas, -=-
>
> Donuts and pies and cake aren't bad if there are other options. None is protein. When my daughter, Holly, melted down at that age (or still; or me, pretty much too) what was needed was protein. She needed scrambled eggs, or a tuna sandwich, or cheese and nuts. Then when she wasn't protein-deprived she could calm down and be nice. It might take a while, and if you always wait until a fit to remember to provide protein, there will always be fits. You might go weeks without a fit if you keep protein available. And not *just* protein foods, but a range of things.
>we ate it.
> If cake was there yesterday, where did it go?
Was there a large amount and she had some and parents finished off the rest? Was there a little and all shared equally and it's just gone?
we all had equal shares of the cake.
>i've made cake before with no milk/eggs..it didn't turn out so good. anyone have any recipes? even the kids wouldn't eat it (and if it has sugar, they'll eat about anything;) it tasted like fruit cake, bleh!;)
> Maybe have enough cake or pie there that she can always have more for a while. Make your own. If you only have one child, maybe baking wouldn't be so hard. With three it can seem impossible sometimes, but I'm thinking you have one. If you hate to bake, buy day-old, maybe. Maybe there's a commercial-bakery outlet store?
>cool, i'll check out those sites!!:) i did notice that my8yo, if she skips a meal, gets kind of cranky. our entire family shows symptoms of ADD..including forgetting to eat;) sometimes it's 3pm..'oh, did we eat lunch'?? lol..we get so busy!
> Here's something about protein and something about why having more prevents the scarcity and "value."
>
> http://sandradodd.com/eating/protein
> http://sandradodd.com/t/economics
thanks for the info!!
stacey:)>
> Sandra
>
cosmbo
>i was coming home from work, and thought i'd pick up a little treat. the day before my 8 and 6yo had asked me to look for little (and i mean little;) pumpkin pies..they're like 58 cents each..so i surprised them. i had to count out pennies! lol;)
>
>
> >>>problem, there is no chocolate cake. it's gone. this is how it is when she doesn't get what she wants, more then once a day.>>>
> Did she say she wanted more cake after it was gone? If that were the case, I would've tried to get more cake instead of little pies.
>
>
cosmbo
>i think that's were i run into conflicts..we don't always have the $$$ to just 'go buy cake'. we still have to consider gas $$$ to get to work..even i don't like half the food in the house..i get paid tomorrow..but that $20 or that will be left from that will need to last another 2 weeks till food stamps come back. and we only get about $50 or so a week.. when i say i'll get it, i mean it. the day varies. in this case, i haven't shopped since. so 'i'll get it' was a serious statement, i will. but it may be another week from now..
> In this situation, I might say: "You want more chocolate cake? Oh, we ate all the chocolate cake yesterday? Hmmm--should we get some at the store today? Let's write it on the list (drawing a pic of cake on a 'list')" (Sometimes this is all he needs--to know I will get more if he wants it, and then I make SURE to buy more the next time we go to the store.
Sandra Dodd
-=- i did notice that my8yo, if she skips a meal, gets kind of cranky.
our entire family shows symptoms of ADD..including forgetting to eat;)
sometimes it's 3pm..'oh, did we eat lunch'?? lol..we get so busy!-=-
Part of the mom-job is making sure kids get food, though, so it's fine
when you're by yourself or single to forget to eat, but it's not as
good to go with the team "we" and "our entire family" when it's about
the maintenance of life. Moms have responsibilities.
-=-i've made cake before with no milk/eggs..it didn't turn out so
good. anyone have any recipes?-=-
Was it an accident?
Are you allergic to milk and eggs?
-=- but besides meat, anyone have any other suggestions for protein?
protein drinks? (are they healthy?? they have chocolate ones.)-=-
They're expensive.
If you have limited funds, it's crucial to figure out how to get the
most good food for the least money, and an expensive protein drink
isn't a good idea at all. There was a whole list of protein ideas
lower in that post, and I know you got to it and said you'd look. But
next time please read the whole post, read the links, try the things
and then see if there are other questions or comments if you can. The
information collected over the past dozen and some years and put on my
site and Joyce's and other such places are there for unschoolers to
use, freely, any time. And there's the internet. You could do a web
search for inexpensive protein snacks, or for shopping suggestions for
limited budgets.
Anyone here know of a yahoo list or some kind of online e-mail
newsletter with balanced meal/small cost ideas?
Sandra
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our entire family shows symptoms of ADD..including forgetting to eat;)
sometimes it's 3pm..'oh, did we eat lunch'?? lol..we get so busy!-=-
Part of the mom-job is making sure kids get food, though, so it's fine
when you're by yourself or single to forget to eat, but it's not as
good to go with the team "we" and "our entire family" when it's about
the maintenance of life. Moms have responsibilities.
-=-i've made cake before with no milk/eggs..it didn't turn out so
good. anyone have any recipes?-=-
Was it an accident?
Are you allergic to milk and eggs?
-=- but besides meat, anyone have any other suggestions for protein?
protein drinks? (are they healthy?? they have chocolate ones.)-=-
They're expensive.
If you have limited funds, it's crucial to figure out how to get the
most good food for the least money, and an expensive protein drink
isn't a good idea at all. There was a whole list of protein ideas
lower in that post, and I know you got to it and said you'd look. But
next time please read the whole post, read the links, try the things
and then see if there are other questions or comments if you can. The
information collected over the past dozen and some years and put on my
site and Joyce's and other such places are there for unschoolers to
use, freely, any time. And there's the internet. You could do a web
search for inexpensive protein snacks, or for shopping suggestions for
limited budgets.
Anyone here know of a yahoo list or some kind of online e-mail
newsletter with balanced meal/small cost ideas?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cosmbo
> Hmm.. maybe you could rethink the above statement. YOU came home, meaning your child wasn't with you?yes, i was at work. iknew the kids would be hungry, and knew there was no food in the house. i had a bunch of lose change. instead of my eating (i usually don't..), i knew my two older kids 8 and 6 had asked me to see if they have little pies in pumpkin. i counted the pennies to the casheir who i knew wasn't happy-and had enough.
YOU thought the little pies were cute, so you assumed your child would feel the same way?
well, i could have just not bought them, told them to have cereal with no milk/starve. i thought i'd surprise them. she's had a pie before..loved them! it's not like i could go home and 'ask'. there is no gas money for that...
And how does the fact that the pies probably have the same amount of sugar as donuts come into this?
i guess for me it's common-sense. i mean..they do. i've gotten them cute little dog cakes/kitty cakes (our bakery decorates cupcakes, and when they show up on the day-old racks, i'll surprise them with a cupcake. i don't MAKE THEM eat the cakes..they can have something else..problem is, we usually don't have much. my dh was like, 'cake for breakfast???'
yes, it has the same sugar as donuts. so it's not a big deal.
>i don't have those choices. if i let 'her' pick out the cake, we would get to the register, and find out mom has no $$$. if i would had gotten money from my dh, then we would have no $$$ to get to work the next day..my dh works on tips..and times aren't good. when we have money, i'll let them do that. we pick out our own donuts and they just 'love' to pick out fruit!! (fruit is big in our house..when there is money).
> If you had taken your son with you, would you have let him pick the chocolate cake again even though you just had it yesterday?
i tried the 'just buy what we want' method...and we ran out of money in two weeks. food banks don't offer much, and we all quickly got sick of spaghetti and day old bread. mac and cheese has even lost its taste..
If there is some reason you cannot not take him with you, can you ask him what he would like from the store? If he doesn't know, give him some options. I still do that for my kids, and they are 11, 13, and 17.
that's pretty much what they did. 'when you have the money, mommy, can you buy the pumpkin ones'. i did..barely..of course the next day i had no lunch money..lol;) isn't that how it goes!
i appreciate your all comments..but its not like we have extra $$$ on the side. we don't. it's a lot easier said then done. sorry if i sound a little touchy...it's a nice thought to buy what the kids want. i love the idea!! i would love to buy what I want!!
my 8yo would love to eat at Chiles every night (only eat out when we get our tax money..sometimes birthday/Christmas money)
my 6yo would just love fastfood (except for wed./sunday cheap burgers:)))), we don't get much choice there.-great to save the change for;)
and my dh will be going back to school next semsester..in a few years, maybe we'll get ahead..right now..we're stuck.
stacey:)>
Sandra Dodd
-=-i don't MAKE THEM eat the cakes..they can have something
else..problem is, we usually don't have much. my dh was like, 'cake
for breakfast???'
yes, it has the same sugar as donuts. so it's not a big deal.-=-
If there isn't much else, then it's not a choice. There should be
priorities, in shopping. Oatmeal is cheaper than donuts. Just
because people sometimes eat donuts for breakfast doesn't mean a donut
is "breakfast"--that it covers all the food groups or is a good start
to the day.
If your dh is there, maybe he can help figure out how to get some milk
in the house!
Boiled eggs, egg salad... not expensive; protein.
Scrambled eggs with a little grated cheese; not expensive; protein.
But these aren't unschooling matters. These are taking-care-of-
children matters, and necessary for ANY parents whether their kids are
in fancy school or plain school or not at school.
-=-food banks don't offer much, and we all quickly got sick of
spaghetti and day old bread. mac and cheese has even lost its taste..-=-
Look on the internet for other things to do with spaghetti or
mac'n'cheese, and don't serve it more than once or twice a week, to
keep it from getting boring. You can add things, or have different
side dishes.
-=-i appreciate your all comments..but its not like we have extra $$$
on the side. we don't. it's a lot easier said then done. sorry if i
sound a little touchy..=-
If you can't unschool because you don't have the resources or can't
figure out how to allocate your resources, it's not the purpose of
this list to make you feel better about it. We're trying to help you
see situations from other angles. You don't need to respond to the
questions people ask, usually; they're rhetorical questions, often, to
help you figure out what you might not be seeing in your situation.
Unschooling is only a good thing if the parents can make the kids'
lives better than they would've been in school. Sometimes school is
better. Without considering them both carefully and weighing the pros
and cons, you can't make an informed and thoughtful decision.
Sandra
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else..problem is, we usually don't have much. my dh was like, 'cake
for breakfast???'
yes, it has the same sugar as donuts. so it's not a big deal.-=-
If there isn't much else, then it's not a choice. There should be
priorities, in shopping. Oatmeal is cheaper than donuts. Just
because people sometimes eat donuts for breakfast doesn't mean a donut
is "breakfast"--that it covers all the food groups or is a good start
to the day.
If your dh is there, maybe he can help figure out how to get some milk
in the house!
Boiled eggs, egg salad... not expensive; protein.
Scrambled eggs with a little grated cheese; not expensive; protein.
But these aren't unschooling matters. These are taking-care-of-
children matters, and necessary for ANY parents whether their kids are
in fancy school or plain school or not at school.
-=-food banks don't offer much, and we all quickly got sick of
spaghetti and day old bread. mac and cheese has even lost its taste..-=-
Look on the internet for other things to do with spaghetti or
mac'n'cheese, and don't serve it more than once or twice a week, to
keep it from getting boring. You can add things, or have different
side dishes.
-=-i appreciate your all comments..but its not like we have extra $$$
on the side. we don't. it's a lot easier said then done. sorry if i
sound a little touchy..=-
If you can't unschool because you don't have the resources or can't
figure out how to allocate your resources, it's not the purpose of
this list to make you feel better about it. We're trying to help you
see situations from other angles. You don't need to respond to the
questions people ask, usually; they're rhetorical questions, often, to
help you figure out what you might not be seeing in your situation.
Unschooling is only a good thing if the parents can make the kids'
lives better than they would've been in school. Sometimes school is
better. Without considering them both carefully and weighing the pros
and cons, you can't make an informed and thoughtful decision.
Sandra
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Lauren
>>>i think that's were i run into conflicts..we don't always have the $$$ to just 'go buy cake'. we still have to consider gas $$$ to get to work..even i don't like half the food in the house..i get paid tomorrow..but that $20 or that will be left from that will need to last another 2 weeks till food stamps come back. and we only get about $50 or so a week.. when i say i'll get it, i mean it. the day varies. in this case, i haven't shopped since. so 'i'll get it' was a serious statement, i will. but it may be another week from now..<<<<I completely hear you on financial struggles--we are on food stamps as well and it is, in some ways, a struggle to make sure we have everything we need each month. My son also has multiple food sensitivity issues, and buying all allergen free foods (mostly unprocessed whole foods) *can* be expensive. That is why I really cook everything from scratch, and buy almost everything at the farmer's market (soooo much cheaper where I live) which does save a lot of money, but also takes a LOT of planning, and creativity, (and time!) I work from home doing childcare for another family while taking care of my son which allows me the time to put into making most of our own food. It's a real balancing act, but making sure my son can get those things he really wants when he wants them is important to me. And I've found ways to be frugal in many areas (living in a small apt, sharing our 1 used car w/ my dh, etc.) so that the things that matter most to us (food esp.) are affordable, and even abundant in our home. (I realize we each figure out what is most important for our families and make these kind of choices every day, food is just sooooo important to me that I find a way to get us all whatever we need when we need it...and not always in an expensive manner--The past 2 nights I've made 'ice cream' out of a frozen banana and a small amount of canned coconut milk since I don't have the ingredients to make it from scratch in the manner I usually do or have the $ to buy it pre-made at the store...ds has been wanting ice cream though and this has worked for him. ;)
Maybe you could involve the kids in helping make more food (including baked goods) at home from scratch? Picking up pies at the store is probably a lot more expensive than making your own small pies at home. And pies (esp. homemade) can be filled with really protein, nutrient rich ingredients (this was talked about b/4)--eggs, milk, and sometimes a nut based crust could make it a really protein rich, nourishing thing to eat!
Good luck mama--I realize it can be very overwhelming to try and meet needs when you feel like you are struggling financially--I've felt stresses I never had b/4 living with a lot less money, but with some creativity and planning, I feel it is possible to make sure everyone gets what they need...
HTH!
Marina DeLuca-Howard
Hi,
There are dairy free, egg free chocolate cake receipes. I make them for
birthdays to avoid allergies. Try this:
one cup of cooked banana, cooled
added to 1/3 cup vegetable oil,
1.5 cups flour,
cocoa powder about 1/3 cup,
baking powder 1tsp or use baking soda for brownies,
a couple salt pinches and sugar to taste(3/4ish cup).
You can add vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg or coffee or use other cooked fruit or
even cooked beets. The fruit can be over ripe to the point of almost
spoiled. If you omit fruit you can add a cup of cold coffee, or juice or
water with teaspoon of vinegar/orange juice. Experiment with your kids.
Marina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
There are dairy free, egg free chocolate cake receipes. I make them for
birthdays to avoid allergies. Try this:
one cup of cooked banana, cooled
added to 1/3 cup vegetable oil,
1.5 cups flour,
cocoa powder about 1/3 cup,
baking powder 1tsp or use baking soda for brownies,
a couple salt pinches and sugar to taste(3/4ish cup).
You can add vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg or coffee or use other cooked fruit or
even cooked beets. The fruit can be over ripe to the point of almost
spoiled. If you omit fruit you can add a cup of cold coffee, or juice or
water with teaspoon of vinegar/orange juice. Experiment with your kids.
Marina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
>>>i appreciate your all comments..but its not like we have extra $$$ on the side. we don't. it's a lot easier said then done. sorry if i sound a little touchy...it' s a nice thought to buy what the kids want. i love the idea!! i would love to buy what I want!!>>>stacey:)>>>>
>>>and my dh will be going back to school next semsester..in a few years, maybe we'll get ahead..right now..we're stuck.
You do sound touchy. At the risk of sounding like a "who's life sucks more post", I'm starting by saying that it doesn't have to be that way. We don't have money either. I'm applying for food stamps today. It wasn't something I was going to share with my online friends here, but it seems relevant right now. It's not something I want to focus on or in any way, view my life with.
While, it can be hugely stressful to not have enough food, it can look bountiful, if you choose to view life that way. I have a cupboard of beans and rice and legumes and flour and sugar and plenty of things to season those with. I have a bread machine and I make bread (that I can't even eat) for my family every other day. I buy as much fruit and veggies as I can, I make as many goodies as I can, things like zucchini bread and pancakes. Mostly I feel like we always have enough. There are a few times when I get down about not having MY special food items (I have a lot of food allergies that a food bank wouldn't accommodate), and then my husband will pull out a hidden $20 and give it to me, because he's sweet and generous.
There are ways of being resourceful and feeling bountiful. I just read three posts full of lack. That feeling of lack won't go well towards happy unschooling. Happy unschooling should feel full, even in less than ideal conditions. Those times are always temporary, ESPECIALLY if you can turn and feel the sunshine and the warm glow of life.
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Jenny Cyphers
>>>Unschooling is only a good thing if the parents can make the kids'lives better than they would've been in school. Sometimes school is
better. Without considering them both carefully and weighing the pros
and cons, you can't make an informed and thoughtful decision.>>>
Exactly! If parent's can't make a life FEEL bountiful, then school offers reduced lunch programs for really really cheap and the kids can eat breakfast and lunch there for way cheaper than a mom buying the food herself and feeding it to her family. I don't know if it's that way everywhere, but that's how it is around where I live. Reduced lunches are about $.40 a day per child! That's cheap!
BUT it comes at the cost of school. So, if unschooling is worth more, then, make it so!
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cosmbo
okay, this is what i have gotten. i love your suggestions..recipes were great!!
but have no milk-go get it!!
and the attitude-if you really 'loved' y our kids, you would MAKE IT BETTER!!
okay, now i know why so many homeschoolers in my other groups have left this one. life isn't that easy. just ask all the people that come into walmart (daily) and try to steal food. yes, food.
i call myself an unschooler..but it comes with a little shame next to it. when i'm in homeschool groups i 'always' explain that i'm open/don't limit people. we support eachother and don't just say'make it happen'.
i tried to come back again..would love to be in an unschooling group, but can't. these, 'life is so easy' attitudes of yours, 'just do it'is not realistic.
maybe the posts were right..maybe unschooling has become a cult.
stacey
but have no milk-go get it!!
and the attitude-if you really 'loved' y our kids, you would MAKE IT BETTER!!
okay, now i know why so many homeschoolers in my other groups have left this one. life isn't that easy. just ask all the people that come into walmart (daily) and try to steal food. yes, food.
i call myself an unschooler..but it comes with a little shame next to it. when i'm in homeschool groups i 'always' explain that i'm open/don't limit people. we support eachother and don't just say'make it happen'.
i tried to come back again..would love to be in an unschooling group, but can't. these, 'life is so easy' attitudes of yours, 'just do it'is not realistic.
maybe the posts were right..maybe unschooling has become a cult.
stacey
> >>>Unschooling is only a good thing if the parents can make the kids'
> lives better than they would've been in school. Sometimes school is
> better. Without considering them both carefully and weighing the pros
> and cons, you can't make an informed and thoughtful decision.>>>
>
> Exactly! If parent's can't make a life FEEL bountiful, then school offers reduced lunch programs for really really cheap and the kids can eat breakfast and lunch there for way cheaper than a mom buying the food herself and feeding it to her family. I don't know if it's that way everywhere, but that's how it is around where I live. Reduced lunches are about $.40 a day per child! That's cheap!
>
> BUT it comes at the cost of school. So, if unschooling is worth more, then, make it so!
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sandra Dodd
-=-we support eachother and don't just say'make it happen'.-=-
I'm really glad you have in-person support. Maybe they can help
share the easy foods they're making that aren't expensive.
-=-life isn't that easy. just ask all the people that come into
walmart (daily) and try to steal food. yes, food.-=-
Life isn't easy, and unschooling easy. Not everyone can unschool; not
everyone wants to. Not everyone who wants to will be able to do it,
and that's not because of anything any of would say.
-=-maybe the posts were right..maybe unschooling has become a cult.-=-
Which posts?
If there were a cult, wouldn't the people there move you in, give you
a house and some food? Unschooling isn't anything LIKE a cult. It's
also no "a community," and it's not "a tribe." It's a decision one
family makes for that one family, alone. While there's a ton of free
information and assistance available all kinds of ways, being part of
an unschooling group is not, itself, unschooling.
A friend of mine is a member of the Harley Owners Group.
http://www.harley-davidson.com/wcm/Content/Pages/HOG/HOG.jsp?locale=en_us
He doesn't have a Harley. Years ago he did.
There are lots of people who do have Harleys who aren't in that group.
There are people on this list who aren't unschooling.
There are unschoolers who aren't on this list.
If this list had never existed, there would still be realities about
what parents are expected and required to provide for their children.
That doesn't have to do with unschooling.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I'm really glad you have in-person support. Maybe they can help
share the easy foods they're making that aren't expensive.
-=-life isn't that easy. just ask all the people that come into
walmart (daily) and try to steal food. yes, food.-=-
Life isn't easy, and unschooling easy. Not everyone can unschool; not
everyone wants to. Not everyone who wants to will be able to do it,
and that's not because of anything any of would say.
-=-maybe the posts were right..maybe unschooling has become a cult.-=-
Which posts?
If there were a cult, wouldn't the people there move you in, give you
a house and some food? Unschooling isn't anything LIKE a cult. It's
also no "a community," and it's not "a tribe." It's a decision one
family makes for that one family, alone. While there's a ton of free
information and assistance available all kinds of ways, being part of
an unschooling group is not, itself, unschooling.
A friend of mine is a member of the Harley Owners Group.
http://www.harley-davidson.com/wcm/Content/Pages/HOG/HOG.jsp?locale=en_us
He doesn't have a Harley. Years ago he did.
There are lots of people who do have Harleys who aren't in that group.
There are people on this list who aren't unschooling.
There are unschoolers who aren't on this list.
If this list had never existed, there would still be realities about
what parents are expected and required to provide for their children.
That doesn't have to do with unschooling.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny Cyphers
>>>i call myself an unschooler.. but it comes with a little shame next to it. when i'm in homeschool groups i 'always' explain that i'm open/don't limit people. we support eachother and don't just say'make it happen'.i tried to come back again..would love to be in an unschooling group, but can't. these, 'life is so easy' attitudes of yours, 'just do it'is not realistic.>>>
WOW! Ok, maybe some people really can't unschool or call themselves unschoolers! Did this person not even get it that I GET IT, been there, am there!!! I'm choosing to not feel insulted by pouring my heart out here!
It IS about attitude!!!!
Need I say it again in all caps?
IT IS ABOUT ATTITUDE!!!!!!!!!
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