Negotiating for Kids
Dawn Falbe
I said the sentence below, but there was more to it and it has been snipped.
My question was why use age as a difference? If as unschoolers it's
advocated that we are all equal what does the teachers age have to do with
my six year old? Either way I let him decide that he would speak for
himself with me standing right behind him. The next week he didn't want to
go for the same reason he didn't want to go that week (he didn't want to sit
in the same place), so I didn't make him go. This week he didn't want to go
again and it was the last class so I didn't make him go.... I'm not signing
him up for anymore classes unless he really wants them, but that would be
part of learning about the unschooling process. If this is a list for only
seasoned radical unschoolers I was unaware of that. Because I disagree with
"the leader" does not mean I'm wrong for my family. There are no
authorities on unschooling.... Isn't that the whole point, that we each have
deal with our children the way that feels comfortable for our child and
learn what works and what doesn't.
I have not been responding to many of the posts because I feel that I don't
want to get into a "war of words", who can say things "the best" or
"correctly" so I'll go back to lurking, like many others and then when
someone says something I disagree with I'll just think it rather than bring
it up. That way it's safer than having the whole of what I said pulled
apart. It was one of the reasons to leave unschooling.com. picky, picky,
picky.....
Dawn
Date: Sun, 10 Feb 2002 16:19:05 EST
From: SandraDodd@...
Subject: Re: negotiating for kids
In a message dated 2/10/02 2:14:47 PM, freeform@... writes:<< On Sun,
10 Feb 2002 15:47:26 EST SandraDodd@... writes:
Dar >>
It was someone quoting someone already--sorry I just let my automatic
responder-thang go without deleting or looking back to see who originally
said what. It more means what post I got it from than who first put those
words together. Nothing meant by it. I wasn't even looking at names.
Sandra
********************
Dawn Falbe
Astrologer Coach
(520) 312-5300
********************
www.astrologerdawn.com
dawn@...
Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." - George
Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school" -
George Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My question was why use age as a difference? If as unschoolers it's
advocated that we are all equal what does the teachers age have to do with
my six year old? Either way I let him decide that he would speak for
himself with me standing right behind him. The next week he didn't want to
go for the same reason he didn't want to go that week (he didn't want to sit
in the same place), so I didn't make him go. This week he didn't want to go
again and it was the last class so I didn't make him go.... I'm not signing
him up for anymore classes unless he really wants them, but that would be
part of learning about the unschooling process. If this is a list for only
seasoned radical unschoolers I was unaware of that. Because I disagree with
"the leader" does not mean I'm wrong for my family. There are no
authorities on unschooling.... Isn't that the whole point, that we each have
deal with our children the way that feels comfortable for our child and
learn what works and what doesn't.
I have not been responding to many of the posts because I feel that I don't
want to get into a "war of words", who can say things "the best" or
"correctly" so I'll go back to lurking, like many others and then when
someone says something I disagree with I'll just think it rather than bring
it up. That way it's safer than having the whole of what I said pulled
apart. It was one of the reasons to leave unschooling.com. picky, picky,
picky.....
Dawn
Date: Sun, 10 Feb 2002 16:19:05 EST
From: SandraDodd@...
Subject: Re: negotiating for kids
In a message dated 2/10/02 2:14:47 PM, freeform@... writes:<< On Sun,
10 Feb 2002 15:47:26 EST SandraDodd@... writes:
> > In a message dated 2/9/02 6:58:10 PM, freeform@... writes:> << >The only thing I would have to disagree with is that six is too
> young to be> > expected to deal with an adult directly. >>I didn't saythis. Dawn did, I think.
Dar >>
It was someone quoting someone already--sorry I just let my automatic
responder-thang go without deleting or looking back to see who originally
said what. It more means what post I got it from than who first put those
words together. Nothing meant by it. I wasn't even looking at names.
Sandra
********************
Dawn Falbe
Astrologer Coach
(520) 312-5300
********************
www.astrologerdawn.com
dawn@...
Enlightening you on how to discover and live your Soul Purpose
"The people who get on in this world are people who get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." - George
Bernard Shaw
"The only time my education was interrupted was when I was in school" -
George Bernard Shaw
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pat Cald...
Dawn, I got lost in this thread. Where Sandra say you were doing something wrong for your family?
The way I saw it, she was speaking to the comment that a 6 year old could be "expected" to deal with an adult. I imagine that thought set an idea in Sandra's head that she felt would benefit many of us. If you had a notion that you were trying to toughen your son up by making him stand up to the teacher, you may have read what Sandra said and thought about it a little. The rest of us got to think about this idea as well.
You clarified that you were not trying to toughen up your little guy but did want him to feel he could question all people no matter their age.
In a previous post, I *disagreed* with the concept that having family dinners was controlling. After hearing my reasons, no one said they went against unschooling. If they had I would have taken a harder look.
At another time, I explained how we handle food choices in our home. My ideas were challenged and I gained some new insight. If I had not spoken up, I would not have benefited.
If you choose to stay in lurk mode, you will have to wait for someone else to ask the questions you want the answers to. It may take longer but I guess it is safer.
If we all choose to lurk because we are afraid, we will miss out on some pretty great discussions.
Pat
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The way I saw it, she was speaking to the comment that a 6 year old could be "expected" to deal with an adult. I imagine that thought set an idea in Sandra's head that she felt would benefit many of us. If you had a notion that you were trying to toughen your son up by making him stand up to the teacher, you may have read what Sandra said and thought about it a little. The rest of us got to think about this idea as well.
You clarified that you were not trying to toughen up your little guy but did want him to feel he could question all people no matter their age.
In a previous post, I *disagreed* with the concept that having family dinners was controlling. After hearing my reasons, no one said they went against unschooling. If they had I would have taken a harder look.
At another time, I explained how we handle food choices in our home. My ideas were challenged and I gained some new insight. If I had not spoken up, I would not have benefited.
If you choose to stay in lurk mode, you will have to wait for someone else to ask the questions you want the answers to. It may take longer but I guess it is safer.
If we all choose to lurk because we are afraid, we will miss out on some pretty great discussions.
Pat
Pat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
On Sun, 10 Feb 2002 16:58:03 -0700 "Dawn Falbe" <dawn@...>
writes:
I'm sorry you feel like lurking. I think we all understood your son
*wanted* to speak with the teacher. Probably most of us would have done
the same thing, let him ask, be there for support, to clarify, whatever.
I think the broader subject of children being left to deal with teachers
on there own came naturally from that. It's something for all of us to
think about; do we advocate for our (less experienced, more easily
intimidated) kids with people of authority? Your post was a kind of
jumping off point.
I've appreciated your contribution to the list and I hope you change your
mind. Thinking about this stuff makes us all smarter, better parents.
Deb L
writes:
>...so I'll go back to lurking,...Hey Dawn,
I'm sorry you feel like lurking. I think we all understood your son
*wanted* to speak with the teacher. Probably most of us would have done
the same thing, let him ask, be there for support, to clarify, whatever.
I think the broader subject of children being left to deal with teachers
on there own came naturally from that. It's something for all of us to
think about; do we advocate for our (less experienced, more easily
intimidated) kids with people of authority? Your post was a kind of
jumping off point.
I've appreciated your contribution to the list and I hope you change your
mind. Thinking about this stuff makes us all smarter, better parents.
Deb L