Michelle

Hi there.

I just found this group and wanted to introduce myself. I'm new to homeschooling/unschooling, so I'm here to learn. I have 3 children ages dd11, dd9, and ds2. We just began to unschool them this year. It was really a non-churchy-yet-quite-spiritual revelation. We were really just tired of all the negativity that we were inviting into our home on a daily basis. Poo-poo to that!
My eldest is a little peeved that we decided to take her out of school. We try to honor where she is at while still being upbeat about how this will be for her in the long run. She is enjoying all the free time though. She still hasn't figured out what she is to do with herself. Initially, she felt that she wouldn't learn anything. So we have just been reassuring her that whatever she needs - we'll will help her get there. All in due time - and I can see how the stress and anxiety of public school is melting away.
My middle child loves it. She has never really enjoyed school and has often been pidgeonholed to being a bit of a 'slow-learner'. That's crap. She is brilliant when left to her own devices - she isn't all that interested in confined book-reading and structured creativity. I've noticed marked improvement in her interpersonal skills, and am rather happy about that. Actually the whole family is.
Not much has changed for my youngest. We are still doing what we have always done with him. Living life. Eating, pooping, playing, sleeping. My perspective has changed though and I am seeing him and what 'he does' in a different light.
Over the last couple of months it's been a bit woobly-goobly-timey-whimey in our house. The kids having various emotional reactions to the transition. Me feeling unsure of our decision. Messy at times and rather clear-minded at others. We are definately in the midst of deschooling and trying to be extra gentle with ourselves and each other.

I'm glad to have found you all,
Michelle in Ohio

Sandra Dodd

Michelle, I'm going to point at some things that might move you one
step closer to unschooling the way you'd like to:

-=-We were really just tired of all the negativity that we were
inviting into our home on a daily basis. Poo-poo to that!
My eldest is a little peeved that we decided to take her out of
school.-=-

Having a child who is peeved is negativity that you brought into your
home, isn't it?

One of the worst aspects of school is that the children have no choice.
If you make one of the worst aspects of unschooling that the children
have no choice, I see a problem.

-=-She still hasn't figured out what she is to do with herself.-=-

She shouldn't need to figure out what to do. YOU find an array of
wonderful things to do!
http://sandradodd.com/checklists
http://sandradodd.com/nest

-=-That's crap. She is brilliant -=-

Negativity and harsh thinking. And try to avoid "brilliant" as
studiously as you avoid "slow-learner." They're both a problem. Let
your children be and learn and do where and when and how they are. It
will change gradually, but if you define them with tems like
"brilliant," it sets up expectations and molds that don't help
unschooling thrive.

-= My perspective has changed though and I am seeing him and what 'he
does' in a different light.-=-

Despite my pickiness above, I'm glad you're here and I know this list
can help you feel less "woobly-goobly-timey-whimey" about it all!

http://sandradodd.com/balance
(another page I thought of as I read what you wrote)

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Michelle

> Having a child who is peeved is negativity that you brought into your
> home, isn't it?

Yes, you are right. We've discussed the decision many times and we have made an understanding that we'll try this on, really make a go of it - our best effort - and if in a year we see that it isn't working we can look at all the various options. Initially, she was rather cynical, but over the past couple months her outlook and attitude regarding homeschooling has improved greatly. So I chalk her peevishness up to more like temporary growing pains. I really get that we placed her in an uncomfortable position. We've agreed to not make any new decisions about it for awhile - to just sit with it and see where it takes us. She feels good about that.

> She shouldn't need to figure out what to do. YOU find an array of
> wonderful things to do!
> http://sandradodd.com/checklists
> http://sandradodd.com/nest

Thanks for these links. I'll be adding much of it to my lil' bag o' stuff to draw from for when we're drawing a blank. We have been doing tons of things that we didn't have time for before. Museums, parks, sleeping in, lots of play/freetime, doing nothing, obsessive reading, cuddling, shopping, computer games, and just hanging out talking about nothing and everything. I think my eldest is more stuck on the idea of busy work and being told what to do and when - that she was so used to in school. This is also dissipating with time.

> try to avoid "brilliant" as studiously as you avoid "slow-learner." They're both a problem.

There IS a whole shift going on that permiates thinking, language, and I'm learning too - so thanks for pointing that out.

> http://sandradodd.com/balance
> (another page I thought of as I read what you wrote)

Again, thank you!

take care,
Michelle

Pam Sorooshian

On 6/17/2009 10:43 AM, Michelle wrote:
> I think my eldest is more stuck on the idea of busy work and being told what to do and when - that she was so used to in school. This is also dissipating with time.
>
You could give her some assignments - about unschooling! <G>

Maybe assign her a chapter a day of "The Teenage Liberation Handbook."
Ask her to read the chapter and summarize it or answer questions about
it or something like that?

My oldest was 10 years old when we took her out of school and it was
slightly against her will, too. She agreed to a 6-week trial period, but
it only took her a couple of weeks to be 100 percent on board. That's
because we got very lucky and within two weeks we'd become part of a
wonderful homeschool group and she'd already gotten involved in being in
a play and was super enjoying her new friends.

If "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" seems too mature for her (probably
isn't, though), then maybe she'd enjoy reading Sandra's book, which is
collection of essays about their real lives: "Moving a Puddle," or Rue
Kream's book, which is an easy read in question and answer format,
"Parenting a Free Child."

-pam

Jenny C

>
>>> Thanks for these links. I'll be adding much of it to my lil' bag o'
stuff to draw from for when we're drawing a blank. We have been doing
tons of things that we didn't have time for before. Museums, parks,
sleeping in, lots of play/freetime, doing nothing, obsessive reading,
cuddling, shopping, computer games, and just hanging out talking about
nothing and everything. I think my eldest is more stuck on the idea of
busy work and being told what to do and when - that she was so used to
in school. This is also dissipating with time.>>>



When I was about that age, I knew a girl down the street from me who
homeschooled. This was a girl that I'd gone to kindergarten and 1st
grade with and had loved her then. She was one of my favorite friends
in school and I was sad when she left.

I remember being really bored and lonely and wishing I had a friend, so
on a whim I walked over to her house to see if she remembered me. She
did and her mom did too. I stayed and played at their house, which was
this amazing place of all things crafty and homeschooly. I felt like I
was in heaven! We went to her room, where she'd been in the midst of
beading and had it all over her floor.

I was struck with the notion that if I wasn't in school all day, I'd
have time to do stuff like beading and spreading my project all over the
floor and work on it all day long if I wanted. It was an incredibly
profound moment for me, so much so, I still remember what the beads
looked and felt like and what my friend looked like and how her room was
set up. Ever since that moment, every day in school felt like time
wasted, it was painful. I begged my mother to let me stay home, but she
lacked the confidence to do it, something she regrets to this day.

So when kids leave school and the schedule and rigor, it's really good
for them to see what they could do INSTEAD. What is it that your child
loves to do? It could be anything, it could be beading. Whatever it
is, encourage that, buy new beads, buy new video games, get a new pet,
whatever it is that they never felt they had time for while in school.

Michelle

> Maybe assign her a chapter a day of "The Teenage Liberation Handbook."
That is a good idea - she has requested more guidance/structure for the time being. This might be a good way to give her that while also opening her eyes to more possibilities. Especially where it shows essays from other unschooled kids....


> because we got very lucky and within two weeks we'd become part of a
> wonderful homeschool group and she'd already gotten involved in being in
> a play and was super enjoying her new friends.

We found an unschooling group and have gotten a little involved with them. I hope this will help with friends and fun away form mom & dad.

>
> If "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" seems too mature for her (probably
> isn't, though), then maybe she'd enjoy reading Sandra's book, which is
> collection of essays about their real lives: "Moving a Puddle," or

I just ordered Moving a Puddle today. I might make for good family reading, too - my middle daughter loves to be read to.

Thanks for the ideas!
Michelle

Michelle

> So when kids leave school and the schedule and rigor, it's really good
> for them to see what they could do INSTEAD. What is it that your child
> loves to do? It could be anything, it could be beading. Whatever it
> is, encourage that, buy new beads, buy new video games, get a new pet,
> whatever it is that they never felt they had time for while in school.
>

This is really good - she is really into listening to music and reading fantasy fictions and her friends. I'll go deeper with her into this and see what she wants/needs.

Thanks!

juillet727

> Maybe assign her a chapter a day of "The Teenage Liberation Handbook."
>...<snip>
> If "The Teenage Liberation Handbook" seems too mature for her (probably
> isn't, though), then maybe she'd enjoy reading Sandra's book, which is
> collection of essays about their real lives: "Moving a Puddle," or Rue
> Kream's book, which is an easy read in question and answer format,
> "Parenting a Free Child."
***********************************

There's also the book:
Real Lives: Eleven Teenagers Who Don't Go To School, by Grace Llewellyn

I found it to be very inspiring and eye-opening and fun to read.
~~Juillet

Ward Family

>>I remember being really bored and lonely and wishing I had a friend, so
on a whim I walked over to her house to see if she remembered me. She
did and her mom did too. I stayed and played at their house, which was
this amazing place of all things crafty and homeschooly. I felt like I
was in heaven! We went to her room, where she'd been in the midst of
beading and had it all over her floor.>>

My youngest has never been to school and we have always just had stuff around that you can do what you like with, one example being multilinkcubes - interlocking cubes you join together to make shapes. Sarah had a friend visiting who went to school and I always remember her comment "These are really cool. We have them at school but we are never alllowed to just play with them."



----- Original Message -----
From: Jenny C
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:38 AM
Subject: [AlwaysLearning] Re: Intro...






>
>>> Thanks for these links. I'll be adding much of it to my lil' bag o'
stuff to draw from for when we're drawing a blank. We have been doing
tons of things that we didn't have time for before. Museums, parks,
sleeping in, lots of play/freetime, doing nothing, obsessive reading,
cuddling, shopping, computer games, and just hanging out talking about
nothing and everything. I think my eldest is more stuck on the idea of
busy work and being told what to do and when - that she was so used to
in school. This is also dissipating with time.>>>

When I was about that age, I knew a girl down the street from me who
homeschooled. This was a girl that I'd gone to kindergarten and 1st
grade with and had loved her then. She was one of my favorite friends
in school and I was sad when she left.

I remember being really bored and lonely and wishing I had a friend, so
on a whim I walked over to her house to see if she remembered me. She
did and her mom did too. I stayed and played at their house, which was
this amazing place of all things crafty and homeschooly. I felt like I
was in heaven! We went to her room, where she'd been in the midst of
beading and had it all over her floor.

I was struck with the notion that if I wasn't in school all day, I'd
have time to do stuff like beading and spreading my project all over the
floor and work on it all day long if I wanted. It was an incredibly
profound moment for me, so much so, I still remember what the beads
looked and felt like and what my friend looked like and how her room was
set up. Ever since that moment, every day in school felt like time
wasted, it was painful. I begged my mother to let me stay home, but she
lacked the confidence to do it, something she regrets to this day.

So when kids leave school and the schedule and rigor, it's really good
for them to see what they could do INSTEAD. What is it that your child
loves to do? It could be anything, it could be beading. Whatever it
is, encourage that, buy new beads, buy new video games, get a new pet,
whatever it is that they never felt they had time for while in school.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]