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Hi Everyone,

I know Sandra said to wait and read before coming on but I have been looking for the next step for a long time and couldn't wait to find out some answers. ;o) I am new to this group but have lived the unschooling life for a few years (even before that just didn't realize it) followed my heart while being surrounded with dominate parenting from my family and my husbands family with no support as to anyone wanting to understand to change even when it is for the better. ;o) I am amazed at my kids growth and friendly personality has bloomed and how much they enjoy being with other adults. Which is whole other discussion on how much that surprises adults and how other adults don't know how to respond to such an interested little person. Having said all this I am feeling stuck at the fact I don't know how to plan our day to feel fulfilled with my kids. We sometimes get caught up in the meals and a few animals chores that I see it in them too that they are lost. As my 9yo is getting so much more major I feel somewhat dis-connected from her too.

How do we keep the day going if the child is not sending a signal for me to pick up on?

I have three kids and my hubby works 55+ hrs a week so some weeks are long and I do it all......

Anyone else out there that follow a more raw diet? Make yogurt, raw milk?

I am very blessed and grateful to have chosen to raise my kids and not work but sometimes I miss that world too.

Enjoy your Sunday ~ Angela

Sandra Dodd

-=-How do we keep the day going if the child is not sending a signal
for me to pick up on?-=-

I wish you had read a while before posting, because you might have
been more prepared for the responses.

-=- I am new to this group but have lived the unschooling life for a
few years (even before that just didn't realize it) -=-

It does bother me when someone says "I've been unschooling for years"
and then asks a very, very basic question, because it will be
confusing for those who are truly new to the ideas, for one thing, and
when someone comes in with "Yeah, I've been doing this for years, I
just didn't know what it was called," it seems to be a signal that we
should not start at the beginning, but only fine tune the questions
asked, or accept the suggestions brought, because the person is an
experienced unschooler.

-=-How do we keep the day going if the child is not sending a signal
for me to pick up on?-=-

Send signals your child can pick up on. Why should the child be doing
all the idea getting and initiating?
http://sandradodd.com/nest
http://sandradodd.com/strewing

-=-As my 9yo is getting so much more major I feel somewhat dis-
connected from her too. -=-

"Major"? I don't understand.

-=Anyone else out there that follow a more raw diet? Make yogurt, raw
milk?-=-

I'm sure lots of people do, but it's not the topic of this list.
There are many places to discuss dietary interests, but few to discuss
unschooling. Keep this one on topic, please.

Sandra

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Jenny C

>>>Having said all this I am feeling stuck at the fact I don't know how
to plan our day to feel fulfilled with my kids.>>>

Do your kids want planned days? What about just playing and hanging out
together? What about inviting friends over? What about going to
different stores or taking different roads and visiting different parks?

>>> We sometimes get caught up in the meals and a few animals chores
that I see it in them too that they are lost. >>>

How much time in each day is taken up with meals and animal chores? Are
you doing the meals and animal chores, or are the kids, or maybe all of
you together? If they are involved in these things, do they want to be?
If they aren't, what are they doing instead?

>>>As my 9yo is getting so much more major I feel somewhat dis-connected
from her too.
How do we keep the day going if the child is not sending a signal for me
to pick up on?>>>

What are YOU doing to engage her? What new and sparkling thing have you
introduced?


>>> I have three kids and my hubby works 55+ hrs a week so some weeks
are long and I do it all......>>>

Doing it all, sounds like martyrdom. Perhaps see it as choosing to do
things for your family to make their life better. If you are doing too
much, and it's not really making your life better, do something
different.


>>> I am very blessed and grateful to have chosen to raise my kids and
not work but sometimes I miss that world too. >>>

What world? Really. Sandra said something a long time ago about
choosing to be the best parent she could be. Some people want to be a
great musician, or accountant, or "whatever" and really focus on that,
and kids are a side part of life. If you are choosing to stay at home
and raise kids, then make that be something you are great at, and
successful at. BE the best mom you can be, make that your talent and
your world!

[email protected]

OP wrote: >>> I have three kids and my hubby works 55+ hrs a week so some weeks
are long and I do it all......>>>

Jen. C. wrote: Doing it all, sounds like martyrdom. Perhaps see it as choosing to do
things for your family to make their life better. If you are doing too
much, and it's not really making your life better, do something
different.


My husband works out of state and can be gone 3, 4, even 5 weeks at a stretch. Sometimes more. When he first started doing traveling work years ago and I would get stressed out and bummed and my oldest (my youngest was not born yet) would get bummed and sad and it seemed like a long time, I found it helpful to think about who had it worse than I did/do. It made me feel better and even grateful for what we have. There are wives who have husbands in the armed services who don't get to live in the same *country* as their spouse and only get to see them for a few weeks every 6 months, maybe every year, maybe longer. They don't even get to talk to their spouse on the phone every day.?We can call Dave pretty much any time we want to talk to him. We're setting up the computers and have cameras now, so we can Skype and it will be almost like him being here. Servicemen and women have very limited calls home, sometimes.

If I none of that helps change my perspective, I remember that we *have* a husband and father and while not wealthy, we are able to live on Dave's salary. He is a sweet, wonderful guy who helps out *loads* when he's home, he is full on board with unschooling, he supports each of us and all of us in what we do and when we need support. When I look at all all we have, compared to what we *could* be without.... Well, heck. I feel rich and happy and wonderful.

Some times we need to "busy up" and fill our schedules with fun and new things to do so that we don't miss him so much. Sometimes, that is too much when the boys are missing him and "busying up" would be overwhelming, so we nest and snuggle and eat comfort foods and we do lots for each other. We do what we need to do to make it work and feel as good as we can. It takes paying attention, clueing in to the signs, listening and sometimes it takes talking things through and/or asking.

We all have a vested interest in making things be the best they can be, because it's just too hard to live with someone that's grouchy or depressed or angry for long. It doesn't do anyone much of any good to stand and complain that the bicycle has a flat tire and kick the wheel and rant at the tack on the sidewalk or the world in general-you just get the tire fixed so you can move on. Or walk. Or catch the bus. Or make a unicycle out of the parts you have that do work. ;~)

Peace,
De


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Sandra Dodd

-=-My husband works out of state and can be gone 3, 4, even 5 weeks at
a stretch. Sometimes more. When he first started doing traveling work
years ago and I would get stressed out and bummed and my oldest (my
youngest was not born yet) would get bummed and sad and it seemed like
a long time, I found it helpful to think about who had it worse than I
did/do. -=-

For nearly four years, we only saw Keith one week a month.

I used to remind myself that it was very cool that I could call him at
his own desk in the daytime or his apartment at night, and that if it
were really an emergency he could come home. He wasn't in the
military. He wasn't in jail. He was doing something that enabled us
to buy a bigger house.

Kirby was getting bigger and was 12 or 13 when Keith came back, and
they weren't very buddy buddy anymore. (They are now.) That was
rough, so I called for it to end. He kept agreeing to another six
months, but I was worried that he and Kirby would lose their
relationship entirely.

Sandra

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