question how to handle bickering...
Kelly Halldorson
Okay. This isn't a big issue but it is one I'm having trouble handling and would love any input.
My kids are 14, 12 & 11.
I read to them (and my husband), often. Right now I'm reading Twilight to the family. As soon as I stop reading at the end of a chapter OR when the car ride is over whatever...all three of the kids start asking to read it themselves. This happens all the time...well not all the time...but when it's a book they really love.
Obviously, I wouldn't mind at all if they went ahead and read it themselves because I would just continue reading it aloud regardless...BUT I only have one book. If I give it to whomever asks first the other two get all angry. And the fighting ensues...They can't seem to be able to agree to take turns with it or whatever.
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.
Getting multiple copies isn't really an option...because they want it NOW! I could pick one up at a library (if it was available) but that would still leave two without it.
Peace,
Kelly Halldorson
http://kelly.halldorson.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My kids are 14, 12 & 11.
I read to them (and my husband), often. Right now I'm reading Twilight to the family. As soon as I stop reading at the end of a chapter OR when the car ride is over whatever...all three of the kids start asking to read it themselves. This happens all the time...well not all the time...but when it's a book they really love.
Obviously, I wouldn't mind at all if they went ahead and read it themselves because I would just continue reading it aloud regardless...BUT I only have one book. If I give it to whomever asks first the other two get all angry. And the fighting ensues...They can't seem to be able to agree to take turns with it or whatever.
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.
Getting multiple copies isn't really an option...because they want it NOW! I could pick one up at a library (if it was available) but that would still leave two without it.
Peace,
Kelly Halldorson
http://kelly.halldorson.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lyla Wolfenstein
if it were me, i'd ask them to help trouble shoot - do they all want to agree to have one book that is being read aloud only and that they won't read to themselves?
but if not, i wouldn's discount getting multiple copies of whatever you are going to be reading aloud, ahead of time, in case they all want to read it! used copies, or library copies, or paperback swap copies....or new, depending on finances...but it doesn't sound undoable to me...
warmly, Lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
but if not, i wouldn's discount getting multiple copies of whatever you are going to be reading aloud, ahead of time, in case they all want to read it! used copies, or library copies, or paperback swap copies....or new, depending on finances...but it doesn't sound undoable to me...
warmly, Lyla
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Su Penn
On Jun 8, 2009, at 10:43 PM, Kelly Halldorson wrote:
think about how to make the resource less scarce. Here are a couple of
thoughts:
Do they have their own library cards? You could check out multiple
copies on separate cards.
You could put out a call among friends, or on your local HS e-mail
list, asking to borrow copies. A popular book like Twilight, a lot of
people probably own and would be willing to lend.
You could cut the book apart into separate chapters which could be
passed around more easily (some law students do this with textbooks so
they can carry only the weight they currently need for their classes).
Used copies of the Twilight books are pretty pricey on Amazon still,
but if this is happening with less-current books, you might very well
be able to get cheap copies used. I've been picking up a whole bunch
of books I'd like to have around in case the kids want to read them
someday, and have paid as little as one cent (plus $3.99 s/h) for a
book in good shape.
You could invite one of the kids to keep reading aloud to the others
after you were done.
You could check out the audio book from the library so they could all
keep listening together even when you weren't available to read.
Also, seconding asking them--not in the moment--to trouble-shoot
solutions with you. With my kids, we have found that a productive
place to start is to have one of the kids describe the problem as he
sees it--often, during this process, the kid describing the problem
comes up with an acceptable idea. My kids are only 8 and 5, and can do
this with some help and support from me.
Su
mom of Eric, 8; Carl, 5; Yehva, 22 months
> Getting multiple copies isn't really an option...because they wantMy first thought when there is conflict over a scarce resource is to
> it NOW! I could pick one up at a library (if it was available) but
> that would still leave two without it.
think about how to make the resource less scarce. Here are a couple of
thoughts:
Do they have their own library cards? You could check out multiple
copies on separate cards.
You could put out a call among friends, or on your local HS e-mail
list, asking to borrow copies. A popular book like Twilight, a lot of
people probably own and would be willing to lend.
You could cut the book apart into separate chapters which could be
passed around more easily (some law students do this with textbooks so
they can carry only the weight they currently need for their classes).
Used copies of the Twilight books are pretty pricey on Amazon still,
but if this is happening with less-current books, you might very well
be able to get cheap copies used. I've been picking up a whole bunch
of books I'd like to have around in case the kids want to read them
someday, and have paid as little as one cent (plus $3.99 s/h) for a
book in good shape.
You could invite one of the kids to keep reading aloud to the others
after you were done.
You could check out the audio book from the library so they could all
keep listening together even when you weren't available to read.
Also, seconding asking them--not in the moment--to trouble-shoot
solutions with you. With my kids, we have found that a productive
place to start is to have one of the kids describe the problem as he
sees it--often, during this process, the kid describing the problem
comes up with an acceptable idea. My kids are only 8 and 5, and can do
this with some help and support from me.
Su
mom of Eric, 8; Carl, 5; Yehva, 22 months
Schuyler
Get the next book in the series in multiple copies, have it at the ready asap. You could get to a photocopying machine and copy the chapters out of your book to get you through this book. If you have a flatbed scanner you could scan it to your computer and print it out. Is there a used bookstore near where you live? A Borders, a Barnes and Noble? Hop in the car and go buy 2 extra copies. The library may very well have more than one copy. You could probably check on-line and see if it's on the shelves. Read more to them, keep reading when they ask for the next chapter. Get it on cd or as a download and put it on the stereo so that some one else can read it to them.
Multiple copies is the best answer, and it is really an option. It will help if they know you are working to get them more copies. It will help for them to see you doing what you can to fulfill their needs.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: Kelly Halldorson <kelly@...>
My kids are 14, 12 & 11.
I read to them (and my husband), often. Right now I'm reading Twilight to the family. As soon as I stop reading at the end of a chapter OR when the car ride is over whatever...all three of the kids start asking to read it themselves. This happens all the time...well not all the time...but when it's a book they really love.
Obviously, I wouldn't mind at all if they went ahead and read it themselves because I would just continue reading it aloud regardless...BUT I only have one book. If I give it to whomever asks first the other two get all angry. And the fighting ensues...They can't seem to be able to agree to take turns with it or whatever.
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.
Getting multiple copies isn't really an option...because they want it NOW! I could pick one up at a library (if it was available) but that would still leave two without it.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Multiple copies is the best answer, and it is really an option. It will help if they know you are working to get them more copies. It will help for them to see you doing what you can to fulfill their needs.
Schuyler
________________________________
From: Kelly Halldorson <kelly@...>
My kids are 14, 12 & 11.
I read to them (and my husband), often. Right now I'm reading Twilight to the family. As soon as I stop reading at the end of a chapter OR when the car ride is over whatever...all three of the kids start asking to read it themselves. This happens all the time...well not all the time...but when it's a book they really love.
Obviously, I wouldn't mind at all if they went ahead and read it themselves because I would just continue reading it aloud regardless...BUT I only have one book. If I give it to whomever asks first the other two get all angry. And the fighting ensues...They can't seem to be able to agree to take turns with it or whatever.
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.
Getting multiple copies isn't really an option...because they want it NOW! I could pick one up at a library (if it was available) but that would still leave two without it.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=If I give it to whomever asks first the other two get all angry. And
the fighting ensues...They can't seem to be able to agree to take
turns with it or whatever. -=-
We used to have one deal for the computer and a different deal for the
front seat of the van. One of them might help.
For the computer, if someone woke up and wanted to use it, he was
after me if I was on, but I always could find something I needed to do
and usually let him have it. The next kid who wanted it was next in
line, and the slot opened up when Kirby was done. A "turn" didn't
need to have a time limit, though needing to be somewhere could get
someone a go as the others knew he would be gone for hours. Sometimes
the computer sat unused, but when we only had one computer and three
or four users, it wasn't often.
Now we finally have more computers than people and that issue faded
into the distance.
For the front seat, there was a rotation, and it was in reverse age
order. If Holly got the front last time, it was Marty's turn. But we
didn't call it his turn "to sit in the front," it was his turn to
choose. Often the choice was to sit in the front, but if he wanted
the whole back seat or the one behind the driver where the air
conditioning was best, that was fine. Had there been a squabble
then, it would've been Kirby's choice next, but I think we only
invoked that clause once. But it basically set up a precedence of
choices, and that rotated. So if it was Kirby's turn in the front and
he didn't want it or if he wasn't even there, Holly had next choice.
When that happened, it went to Marty next. Nobody ever said "Yes but
last time I had it as #2, and this is my #1 time."
Maybe with the book you could do that. If the youngest didn't want
it, the middle could have it. Next time you read, it's the next kid
in line's turn to read or pass it to the one who would have come after
her.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the fighting ensues...They can't seem to be able to agree to take
turns with it or whatever. -=-
We used to have one deal for the computer and a different deal for the
front seat of the van. One of them might help.
For the computer, if someone woke up and wanted to use it, he was
after me if I was on, but I always could find something I needed to do
and usually let him have it. The next kid who wanted it was next in
line, and the slot opened up when Kirby was done. A "turn" didn't
need to have a time limit, though needing to be somewhere could get
someone a go as the others knew he would be gone for hours. Sometimes
the computer sat unused, but when we only had one computer and three
or four users, it wasn't often.
Now we finally have more computers than people and that issue faded
into the distance.
For the front seat, there was a rotation, and it was in reverse age
order. If Holly got the front last time, it was Marty's turn. But we
didn't call it his turn "to sit in the front," it was his turn to
choose. Often the choice was to sit in the front, but if he wanted
the whole back seat or the one behind the driver where the air
conditioning was best, that was fine. Had there been a squabble
then, it would've been Kirby's choice next, but I think we only
invoked that clause once. But it basically set up a precedence of
choices, and that rotated. So if it was Kirby's turn in the front and
he didn't want it or if he wasn't even there, Holly had next choice.
When that happened, it went to Marty next. Nobody ever said "Yes but
last time I had it as #2, and this is my #1 time."
Maybe with the book you could do that. If the youngest didn't want
it, the middle could have it. Next time you read, it's the next kid
in line's turn to read or pass it to the one who would have come after
her.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny C
>NOW! I could pick one up at a library (if it was available) but that
> Getting multiple copies isn't really an option...because they want it
would still leave two without it.
>So many people own that book that perhaps you could borrow a few from
friends!
Verna
--- In [email protected], Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:
>We are down to one computer right now, one wont turn on and I am on my husbands work computer (it will get internet but we cant load anything on it. So the kids are having to share the one. And recently ROBLOX has come back into popularity. Yesterday they were on it all day and untill 11 last night when the computer descided it had finally had enough. They were back up at 7:30 this morning and back on it. They were fighting about turns and came up with a solution themselves to set a timer for an hour each. They have roughly followed it with requests of me to let them know when it is time to switch. I have given them heads up when they have 10 minutes left to prepare the transitions and because they came up with the plan themselves they really havnt fussed about it. If I had impossed this plan, they would have both fussed about it.
> -=If I give it to whomever asks first the other two get all angry. And
> the fighting ensues...They can't seem to be able to agree to take
> turns with it or whatever. -=-
>
elwazani
--- In [email protected], "Kelly Halldorson" <kelly@...> wrote:
>> I read to them (and my husband), often. Right now I'm reading Twilight to the family. As soon as I stop reading at the end of a chapter OR when the car ride is over whatever...all three of the kids start asking to read it themselves. This happens all the time...well not all the time...but when it's a book they really love.So if they are all still wanting to read when you're done reading, couldn't some one else take over with reading aloud? Beverly
Pam Sorooshian
On 6/9/2009 8:47 AM, Verna wrote:
wanted to be on the computer was often 4 or 5 or more hours. And one of
my three was always the first one up in the morning and so always got
the first few hours and then we'd be going out and the others would
realize, after a while, that they hadn't gotten ANY turns. A kind of
vicious cycle got going, in which one would stay on a really long time
(even though in other areas of life they were quite generous and
thoughtful) because she knew that if she got off the computer then, she
might not get it back that day at all.
So - after trying quite a few ideas, this is the one that worked well
and seemed to satisfy everybody. If someone was on the computer and
nobody else wanted it, they'd stay on as long as they wanted. No limits.
There was a kitchen timer sitting next to the computer and if someone
else was wanting a turn, they would set the timer for one hour. It
didn't matter how long the person had already been on there, they'd get
another hour - if they'd been on five hour, they'd still get another
hour. That seemed to satisfy all three of them. What I often heard was,
"I'm getting on the computer and I'd really like to have at least 2
hours or even 3 for this game - is that okay with you guys?" They'd
agree, in advance. Knowing that they could use the timer method seemed
to free them to be more generous and willing to negotiate.
-pam
> We are down to one computer right now, one wont turn on and I am on my husbands work computer (it will get internet but we cant load anything on it. So the kids are having to share the one. And recently ROBLOX has come back into popularity. Yesterday they were on it all day and untill 11 last night when the computer descided it had finally had enough. They were back up at 7:30 this morning and back on it. They were fighting about turns and came up with a solution themselves to set a timer for an hour each. They have roughly followed it with requests of me to let them know when it is time to switch. I have given them heads up when they have 10 minutes left to prepare the transitions and because they came up with the plan themselves they really havnt fussed about it. If I had impossed this plan, they would have both fussed about it.Sandra's solution didn't work for us because the length of time one kid
>
wanted to be on the computer was often 4 or 5 or more hours. And one of
my three was always the first one up in the morning and so always got
the first few hours and then we'd be going out and the others would
realize, after a while, that they hadn't gotten ANY turns. A kind of
vicious cycle got going, in which one would stay on a really long time
(even though in other areas of life they were quite generous and
thoughtful) because she knew that if she got off the computer then, she
might not get it back that day at all.
So - after trying quite a few ideas, this is the one that worked well
and seemed to satisfy everybody. If someone was on the computer and
nobody else wanted it, they'd stay on as long as they wanted. No limits.
There was a kitchen timer sitting next to the computer and if someone
else was wanting a turn, they would set the timer for one hour. It
didn't matter how long the person had already been on there, they'd get
another hour - if they'd been on five hour, they'd still get another
hour. That seemed to satisfy all three of them. What I often heard was,
"I'm getting on the computer and I'd really like to have at least 2
hours or even 3 for this game - is that okay with you guys?" They'd
agree, in advance. Knowing that they could use the timer method seemed
to free them to be more generous and willing to negotiate.
-pam
Pam Sorooshian
If you get an audible.com membership you can get one book every month
for about $15 per month. It can be put on multiple devices and onto cd's.
Right now audible.com has a deal where you pay only $7.49 per month for
the first three months and $14.95 per month after that.
I started it and have been listening to my books for years, but my whole
family now listens to books - I'm about to go do dishes and other
housework and looking forward to getting back to my "reading." <G>
-pam
for about $15 per month. It can be put on multiple devices and onto cd's.
Right now audible.com has a deal where you pay only $7.49 per month for
the first three months and $14.95 per month after that.
I started it and have been listening to my books for years, but my whole
family now listens to books - I'm about to go do dishes and other
housework and looking forward to getting back to my "reading." <G>
-pam
On 6/9/2009 9:24 AM, elwazani wrote:
> --- [email protected], "Kelly Halldorson"<kelly@...> wrote:
>
>>> >> I read to them (and my husband), often. Right now I'm reading Twilight to the family. As soon as I stop reading at the end of a chapter OR when the car ride is over whatever...all three of the kids start asking to read it themselves. This happens all the time...well not all the time...but when it's a book they really love.
>>>
>
>
> So if they are all still wanting to read when you're done reading, couldn't some one else take over with reading aloud? Beverly
>
>
diana jenner
Libraries are more often making audio files available to download *from
home* -- getting several audio copies could be very easy & free!
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com
home* -- getting several audio copies could be very easy & free!
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
hannahsashes.blogspot.com
dianas365.blogspot.com
On Tue, Jun 9, 2009 at 9:59 AM, Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> If you get an audible.com membership you can get one book every month
> for about $15 per month. It can be put on multiple devices and onto cd's.
> Right now audible.com has a deal where you pay only $7.49 per month for
> the first three months and $14.95 per month after that.
>
> I started it and have been listening to my books for years, but my whole
> family now listens to books - I'm about to go do dishes and other
> housework and looking forward to getting back to my "reading." <G>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pam Sorooshian
That would be SO cool if they'd let multiple people have the book at the
same time, but my library system treats the downloadable audio books
just like other books - when you go to download it (check it out) you
choose a 7 or a 14 day lending period. And they say, "A shorter checkout
period means more eaudiobooks are available sooner for everyone!" I
wonder if that is always how libraries do it - maybe because of
copyright issues?
-pam
same time, but my library system treats the downloadable audio books
just like other books - when you go to download it (check it out) you
choose a 7 or a 14 day lending period. And they say, "A shorter checkout
period means more eaudiobooks are available sooner for everyone!" I
wonder if that is always how libraries do it - maybe because of
copyright issues?
-pam
On 6/9/2009 12:09 PM, diana jenner wrote:
> Libraries are more often making audio files available to download *from
> home* -- getting several audio copies could be very easy& free!
>
appletreereader
Pam,
Libraries have licensing agreements with their vendors which limit what a library can offer, ie: how many of one title can be out at one time etc. Each vendor is different and costs are different depending on what the library wanted to order.
On the other topic--
With a book like one in the Twilight series it would be hard to get more than one copy at a time. The main library in our system has over 600 (yes, six hundred)holds on the new one. However, with libraries in mind there are a few things you could check if you think that having more than one copy of certain books would solve the problem--likely it would.
I have two cards--one personal card and one teacher card, my young son has his own card and my husband has a card--he could get a teacher card too if he wanted one. This would allow us to place 4 (or 5) reserves on a book title. We could also each place a hold on an audio file but they may not have that many to loan. If you go with older books there are a lot of free resources, other than libraries, that let you download.
I am also allowed to check out multiple copies through my teacher card. The multiple copies are not known to many patrons because they are mostly used for book talks or for teachers for their classes but that does not mean they are not available to you. Libraries do things in many different ways and most are willing to work with you.
sheila
Libraries have licensing agreements with their vendors which limit what a library can offer, ie: how many of one title can be out at one time etc. Each vendor is different and costs are different depending on what the library wanted to order.
On the other topic--
With a book like one in the Twilight series it would be hard to get more than one copy at a time. The main library in our system has over 600 (yes, six hundred)holds on the new one. However, with libraries in mind there are a few things you could check if you think that having more than one copy of certain books would solve the problem--likely it would.
I have two cards--one personal card and one teacher card, my young son has his own card and my husband has a card--he could get a teacher card too if he wanted one. This would allow us to place 4 (or 5) reserves on a book title. We could also each place a hold on an audio file but they may not have that many to loan. If you go with older books there are a lot of free resources, other than libraries, that let you download.
I am also allowed to check out multiple copies through my teacher card. The multiple copies are not known to many patrons because they are mostly used for book talks or for teachers for their classes but that does not mean they are not available to you. Libraries do things in many different ways and most are willing to work with you.
sheila
--- In [email protected], Pam Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>
> That would be SO cool if they'd let multiple people have the book at the
> same time, but my library system treats the downloadable audio books
> just like other books - when you go to download it (check it out) you
> choose a 7 or a 14 day lending period. And they say, "A shorter checkout
> period means more eaudiobooks are available sooner for everyone!" I
> wonder if that is always how libraries do it - maybe because of
> copyright issues?
> -pam
Ward Family
This may not be a practical solution for everyone but my suggestion is don't stop reading. With the most recent Harry Potters we picked up the book on Saturday morning went home and started reading all taking turns to read aloud until we finished on Sunday night. We did take a sleep break but I don't think we even got out of our pjs on the Sunday!!
Saves buying extra books!!
Julie Ward
New Zealand
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Saves buying extra books!!
Julie Ward
New Zealand
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn L. Coburn
I buy books online, mostly used. If after reading, I don't want to keep it,
I resell it online. Almost like renting a book for short period. For
something as popular as Twilight, I would think your used copy/ies would be
snapped up quickly. I'm about to list the whole set so far on Ebay.
I wonder if the real issue with the reading aloud ending situation, is that
the kids would like to keep the family connection of this shared activity
going longer rather than split up into separation. When Jayn has a new book
for me to read aloud to her, I tend to read almost non-stop.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com
I resell it online. Almost like renting a book for short period. For
something as popular as Twilight, I would think your used copy/ies would be
snapped up quickly. I'm about to list the whole set so far on Ebay.
I wonder if the real issue with the reading aloud ending situation, is that
the kids would like to keep the family connection of this shared activity
going longer rather than split up into separation. When Jayn has a new book
for me to read aloud to her, I tend to read almost non-stop.
Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com