naake1999

My sixth grader is miserable, and we are either "giving him a year off" or leaving school entirely.

I work full time, and my husband (who works from home and is primary caregiver) is not yet quite on board with taking our son out of school. He is more in line with "giving him a break while we look for a better fit."

Ironically, my husband ended his formal schooling in 7th grade. He knows everything he knows thanks to teaching himself, but does feel "less than" due to not having formal credentials, so values them highly. Granted, he has been in positions where formal credentials seemed to determine or deny an opportunity.

I'm the one with formal credentials, but I also realize how arbirtrary the requirements can be.

My thought is that we could subscribe to an online 7th grade course that my son could do in a short amount of time every day, and then he could do as he wishes the rest of the day.

I guess I have these visions of him learning to love books, indulging his enjoyment of building things and of doing art, cooking, etc. I guess I worry that instead, he's going to be spending his day on video games.

Also, his brother is going into 11th grade and is fine. Does anyone else have the experience of getting one kid up early every day and having the other one stay home? Resentment there? The older kid (first born, very conventional) thinks we spoil his little brother as it is, though he loves him very much.

Any words of wisdom appreciated from those who have taken a 10-13yo out of school. I would do anything for my boys, but worry that what I would do... would be wrong. Books to read especially sought for.


Thanks,

Annette

Sandra Dodd

-=-I guess I have these visions of him learning to love books,
indulging his enjoyment of building things and of doing art, cooking,
etc. I guess I worry that instead, he's going to be spending his day
on video games.-=-

Please read these.
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling

It would take at least six months for him to get to the point that he
would fulfill your "visions," and the danger of seeing what you want
to see as success and what you DO see as failure, is that the kid is
unlikely to become your imaginary successful homeschooler.

http://sandradodd.com/videogames

http://sandradodd.com/ifilet

Sandra

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

>>>> Any words of wisdom appreciated from those who have taken a
10-13yo out of school. I would do anything for my boys, but worry that
what I would do... would be wrong. Books to read especially sought for.
<<<<

If you were to print out and bind the information on these two sites,
you'd have a couple hefty books on unschooling. Or you could do like I
do and just read them online:

http://sandradodd.com/unschooling
http://joyfullyrejoycing

~Katherine

Robyn L. Coburn

<<< My thought is that we could subscribe to an online 7th grade course that
my son could do in a short amount of time every day, and then he could do as
he wishes the rest of the day.>>>

You could do this, but you wouldn't be unschooling. I wouldn't describe
that as "giving him a year off" either. It's just doing school in a
different environment.

If your dh is the person who would be facilitating your son's activities and
home schooling, or unschooling, perhaps he should be asking the questions.
We are here and there are some dads' groups:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SSUDs/

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/UnschoolingDads/

I suspect that you and your husband might have different ideas about what
"do as he wishes" would mean. Unschooling isn't leaving a child alone to do
as he wishes while you get your work done.

<<<<<Books to read especially sought for.>>>>

Katherine already said the same thing I would say - there are some great
books, but the easiest and best source is www.sandradodd.com/unschooling .
Open 24 hours, no waiting.

<<<> Ironically, my husband ended his formal schooling in 7th grade. He
knows everything he knows thanks to teaching himself, but does feel "less
than" due to not having formal credentials, so values them highly. Granted,
he has been in positions where formal credentials seemed to determine or
deny an opportunity.>>>>

Deschooling is not just the child recovering from school damage. It's also
the parents exploring their own school and childhood damage and proactively
changing their thinking until the paradigm shift happens. It's great to
start with something really obvious like this pendulum swing/knee jerk, but
you may be sure there are more subconcious assumptions lurking there too.

Robyn L. Coburn
www.Iggyjingles.etsy.com
www.iggyjingles.blogspot.com
www.allthingsdoll.blogspot.com

Jenny C

>>> My sixth grader is miserable, and we are either "giving him a year
off" or leaving school entirely.
>
> I guess I have these visions of him learning to love books, indulging
his enjoyment of building things and of doing art, cooking, etc. I guess
I worry that instead, he's going to be spending his day on video
games.>>>

One of the easiest ways to kill someone else's passions is to have
visions and expectations for them. Everytime you see it within your own
vision, you're missing the child's vision. Kids will do what they love
to do, if given the freedom to do it.

What they love may not look like anything schooly, or anything that you
might have expected. What I've come to understand, is that, there is
learning in everything! What we do for enjoyment, the things we are
passionate about, will create more learning than anything else. Kids
who are happy will learn easier and better than kids who aren't, and
kids who are trying to meet someone else's idea of what is happy making
and good for them won't be learning as easy as they would if they were
doing it for themselves, for their own personal reasons.

My daughter's passion for fashion and make-up has led her to all kinds
of learning, theatrical make-up, making her own clothing, cutting hair,
styling hair, dyeing hair, re-working old clothing, making hair
assessories, and all that stuff is really the surface of what she's
learned.

Other people may come along and say "what about math?". My answer is
usually, "what about it?". She may not know algebraic formulas, but she
knows how to use money and time, and cut and sew and match shapes to do
so. This is what she loves to do and she may do it for the rest of her
life and make a living out of it. If that's the case, why would she
need to know what she'll never use? And if she ever does need to, she's
pretty smart about figuring things out.

>>> Also, his brother is going into 11th grade and is fine. Does anyone
else have the experience of getting one kid up early every day and
having the other one stay home? Resentment there? The older kid (first
born, very conventional) thinks we spoil his little brother as it is,
though he loves him very much.>>>

You could make it clear that he doesn't have to get up and go to school
if he doesn't want to. Then there wouldn't be any resentment, only
choices, and the things that he needs to do or not based on his choices.

Sandra Dodd

-=-Deschooling is not just the child recovering from school damage.
It's also
the parents exploring their own school and childhood damage and
proactively
changing their thinking until the paradigm shift happens. -=-

This is great! I'm putting it in two or three more accessible places
right now.

Sandra




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]