Mary Hickman

**I think, but cannot prove, that if I had reacted more strongly to him when
he
was the tantrum king of the family that he wouldn't be as good a guy
today.**

Sandra, when say "more strongly", what do you mean? I have a tantrum King.
Riley my 5 year old. We have talked about TV and my son and about sibling
issues. When trying to react less strongly, are you saying with lots of
hugs, patience, calm.? Ive been trying to contain my own anger/frustration
with this passionate guy.

Got to go, the children of my friend just arrived, now there are 7 of us
here. It is a sunny, cold day here in Davis, Ca.

Mary H.



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In a message dated 2/8/02 9:18:46 AM, mfhick@... writes:

<< **I think, but cannot prove, that if I had reacted more strongly to him
when
he
was the tantrum king of the family that he wouldn't be as good a guy
today.**

Sandra, when say "more strongly", what do you mean? >>

If I had made a bigger deal about it, TOLD him he was the tantrum king,
defined him as a guy who throws tantrums, punished him, shamed him (more than
I did in the course of things), etc., I think he would be more resentful now,
and the tantrums might have been worse from frustration at the time.

We certainly didn't ignore him, but we tried to deal with the underlying
situations rather than his response, and when we did talk about his responses
discussed how he could control his temper.

-=- When trying to react less strongly, are you saying with lots of
hugs, patience, calm.?-=-

Words, reason, encouragement to be controlled and make situations better.
Defending the other kids from him, being patient with him growing up and into
his better manhood.

Sandra