Intro and food
Emma Sibley
Hello everyone,
I have been lurking for a few weeks and thought I'd do an intro and ask for some advice.
My name's Emma, I'm in the UK and mum to Chloe (11 on Saturday!), Ethan (6) and Tabitha (8 months).
Chloe has been in school for 2 years by her own choice but will be at home again from the end of July. Ethan has always been at home.
We have moved from a slightly structured homeschool with Chloe to unschooling with Ethan and now we are slowly moving towards radical unschooling. As seems to be usual the biggest issues for me have been tv, computer and food. Although actually the tv/computer issue has been much easier than I thought for me. We are enjoing watching tv together and playing computer games together. As a child I also had no limits on tv/computers so that's probably why. However I am having probs with letting go of the control I have/had over what my children eat. Strangely enough my oldest is also finding it hard. She often asks me to make food choices for her and tell her what she can/can't eat because it's what she's used to and becomes overwhelmed otherwise. Both children are eating a lot of sweet food, but as a result are always hungry. We've talked about food that fills you up and food that doesn't or that makes you feel full up for a short while. I'm not sure
whatelse to suggest to them. Should I just continue to offer a different variety of foods when they tell me they are hungry? Any other ideas/thoughts/experience would be good.
Thank you.
Emma
x
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have been lurking for a few weeks and thought I'd do an intro and ask for some advice.
My name's Emma, I'm in the UK and mum to Chloe (11 on Saturday!), Ethan (6) and Tabitha (8 months).
Chloe has been in school for 2 years by her own choice but will be at home again from the end of July. Ethan has always been at home.
We have moved from a slightly structured homeschool with Chloe to unschooling with Ethan and now we are slowly moving towards radical unschooling. As seems to be usual the biggest issues for me have been tv, computer and food. Although actually the tv/computer issue has been much easier than I thought for me. We are enjoing watching tv together and playing computer games together. As a child I also had no limits on tv/computers so that's probably why. However I am having probs with letting go of the control I have/had over what my children eat. Strangely enough my oldest is also finding it hard. She often asks me to make food choices for her and tell her what she can/can't eat because it's what she's used to and becomes overwhelmed otherwise. Both children are eating a lot of sweet food, but as a result are always hungry. We've talked about food that fills you up and food that doesn't or that makes you feel full up for a short while. I'm not sure
whatelse to suggest to them. Should I just continue to offer a different variety of foods when they tell me they are hungry? Any other ideas/thoughts/experience would be good.
Thank you.
Emma
x
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sandra Dodd
-=- Both children are eating a lot of sweet food, but as a result are
always hungry.-=-
"As a result" isn't fact; it's somewhere between theory and
propaganda. There are problems with telling kids "why" they're hungry
or whether they're hungry or not, and there are problems with the word
"always."
(examples of such problems are here:
http://sandradodd.com/ifilet )
-=-We've talked about food that fills you up and food that doesn't or
that makes you feel full up for a short while.-=-
I'll bet you dollars to donuts that doesn't help at all.
[I just felt like using "dollars to donuts" to a Brit :-) ]
Too much talking and too little learning, sounds like to me.
-=- I'm not sure
what else to suggest to them. Should I just continue to offer a
different variety of foods when they tell me they are hungry? Any
other ideas/thoughts/experience would be good.-=-
Offer a combination of familiar options and new things before they
tell you they're hungry.
http://sandradodd.com/monkeyplatters
That leads to a page with lots of ideas.
This will seem different as your experiences change, so reading it
once isn't enough:
http://sandradodd.com/food
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
always hungry.-=-
"As a result" isn't fact; it's somewhere between theory and
propaganda. There are problems with telling kids "why" they're hungry
or whether they're hungry or not, and there are problems with the word
"always."
(examples of such problems are here:
http://sandradodd.com/ifilet )
-=-We've talked about food that fills you up and food that doesn't or
that makes you feel full up for a short while.-=-
I'll bet you dollars to donuts that doesn't help at all.
[I just felt like using "dollars to donuts" to a Brit :-) ]
Too much talking and too little learning, sounds like to me.
-=- I'm not sure
what else to suggest to them. Should I just continue to offer a
different variety of foods when they tell me they are hungry? Any
other ideas/thoughts/experience would be good.-=-
Offer a combination of familiar options and new things before they
tell you they're hungry.
http://sandradodd.com/monkeyplatters
That leads to a page with lots of ideas.
This will seem different as your experiences change, so reading it
once isn't enough:
http://sandradodd.com/food
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jenny C
>>> Both children are eating a lot of sweet food, but as a result arealways hungry. We've talked about food that fills you up and food that
doesn't or that makes you feel full up for a short while. >>>
Sometimes I've equated kids with humming birds, because they eat often
and often it is sweet that they eat! I think it's better when kids
don't fill up to the point of feeling full. It's way more natural for
kids to graze all day long, like a nursing baby, and as they get older,
they eat more food at one sitting that sustains them longer.
Margaux likes to eat sweet things first thing in the morning. Sometimes
she'll eat a non sweet breakfast, but usually it needs to be sweet.
I've made french toast scrambled eggs for her loads of times, with milk
and cinnamon, with a side of cinnamon/sugar toast. Lately she's been
eating cereal for breakfast, and not just any cereal, but the kind with
sugared raisins or marshmallow things in them. If I didn't give her a
sweet breakfast, she'd go straight for her candy. Margaux loves her
candy and her sweet things!
I did too when I was a kid, I loved sweet things a lot, and now as an
adult, I hardly ever eat sweet things.
Pam Sorooshian
On 4/8/2009 5:12 AM, Sandra Dodd wrote:
say, "I am really hungry," then something weird goes on in my body/brain
and not many things sound good to eat. Lots of times the only thing that
will sound good will be, for me, a muffin or some cake or bread/jam or
cookies. Maybe cereal. Or potato chips might do it. In other words, the
things that will sound appetizing will usually be flour and sugar and
oil and eggs (mixed and baked, of course, not separately <BEG>). Or
crunchy and salty, maybe.
If I am really hungry, an apple, carrots, anything raw like that feels -
"harsh" to me - like it will be hard on my stomach. Meat and other
high-protein things sound heavy.
If I don't let myself get really hungry, but stop and eat something (an
apple or the equivalent) before I get to that point, then all kinds of
other things sound just fine.
When I am hungry I do NOT want to experiment. I want what I know will
get rid of the hunger immediately. I don't want to take the risk that I
might not like something.
If I'm really hungry, sometimes all the foods I can think of sound
sickening to me and I'll get hungrier and crankier while I keep
thinking, "I should eat. I should eat." I'm 57 and I know better than to
keep putting it off, so I'll make myself eat something. But I remember
when I was a kid and I'd gone too long (outside playing) and whatever my
mom offered it seemed sickening to me to consider eating it.
Rosie is very much the same way. If I put potato chips on a plate along
with something else - an egg sandwich or something - she'll eat the
chips a while and then feel like eating the sandwich and fruit and other
stuff. But if she's really hungry and I ask, "Do you want an egg
sandwich," she'll say, "No, that doesn't sound good."
I buy those baking potatoes already washed and wrapped in plastic for
microwaving. My kids will eat that when they're at the "I'm starving and
nothing sounds good" stage.
But, really, the ideal is to get food in front of them before they reach
that stage.
-pam
> Offer a combination of familiar options and new things before theyMaybe not everybody is like this, but I am. Once I'm hungry enough to
> tell you they're hungry.
>
>
say, "I am really hungry," then something weird goes on in my body/brain
and not many things sound good to eat. Lots of times the only thing that
will sound good will be, for me, a muffin or some cake or bread/jam or
cookies. Maybe cereal. Or potato chips might do it. In other words, the
things that will sound appetizing will usually be flour and sugar and
oil and eggs (mixed and baked, of course, not separately <BEG>). Or
crunchy and salty, maybe.
If I am really hungry, an apple, carrots, anything raw like that feels -
"harsh" to me - like it will be hard on my stomach. Meat and other
high-protein things sound heavy.
If I don't let myself get really hungry, but stop and eat something (an
apple or the equivalent) before I get to that point, then all kinds of
other things sound just fine.
When I am hungry I do NOT want to experiment. I want what I know will
get rid of the hunger immediately. I don't want to take the risk that I
might not like something.
If I'm really hungry, sometimes all the foods I can think of sound
sickening to me and I'll get hungrier and crankier while I keep
thinking, "I should eat. I should eat." I'm 57 and I know better than to
keep putting it off, so I'll make myself eat something. But I remember
when I was a kid and I'd gone too long (outside playing) and whatever my
mom offered it seemed sickening to me to consider eating it.
Rosie is very much the same way. If I put potato chips on a plate along
with something else - an egg sandwich or something - she'll eat the
chips a while and then feel like eating the sandwich and fruit and other
stuff. But if she's really hungry and I ask, "Do you want an egg
sandwich," she'll say, "No, that doesn't sound good."
I buy those baking potatoes already washed and wrapped in plastic for
microwaving. My kids will eat that when they're at the "I'm starving and
nothing sounds good" stage.
But, really, the ideal is to get food in front of them before they reach
that stage.
-pam
Joanna Murphy
"However I am having probs with letting go of the control I have/had over what my children eat. Strangely enough my oldest is also finding it hard. She often asks me to make food choices for her and tell her what she can/can't eat because it's what she's used to and becomes overwhelmed otherwise."
I'm wondering if, in moving toward radical unschooling, you have removed your own presence too quickly and have left it up to them to decide in areas that you used to make all the decisions. If you were just making food and now, all of a sudden, you are asking them what they want, they may be your daughter feels overwhelmed--cast adrift.
If this is the case, maybe you should back up a bit and go more slowly, offering choices, not judging what they choose but also just being there with some standbys. Put familiar foods on the monkey platters as well as new ones, but don't focus so much on having your daughter have to come up with the ideas on her own. Think in terms of saying yes to food more often rather than them having to make all the choices.
Too much sudden freedom can be scary--you can move in that direction in a more supported, safe way. I made this mistake when we moved into radical unschooling, and it took a few years to recover.
Joanna
I'm wondering if, in moving toward radical unschooling, you have removed your own presence too quickly and have left it up to them to decide in areas that you used to make all the decisions. If you were just making food and now, all of a sudden, you are asking them what they want, they may be your daughter feels overwhelmed--cast adrift.
If this is the case, maybe you should back up a bit and go more slowly, offering choices, not judging what they choose but also just being there with some standbys. Put familiar foods on the monkey platters as well as new ones, but don't focus so much on having your daughter have to come up with the ideas on her own. Think in terms of saying yes to food more often rather than them having to make all the choices.
Too much sudden freedom can be scary--you can move in that direction in a more supported, safe way. I made this mistake when we moved into radical unschooling, and it took a few years to recover.
Joanna
Gabriela Montoya
--- In [email protected], Emma Sibley <emma_sibley76@...> wrote:
Hi Emma, I'm new here too and not sure if I intro'd myself yet, but also understand your food issues. My oldest is 11 and I don't think I gave her enough choices so she focused on what she loved, when she was around 3-4 she mostly lived on pop tarts and chicken nuggets at home, she was in daycare so I justified my bad food with "she's getting good food there". Now she is so picky but we have been moving toward a much broader range of foods, why? Because I stopped forcing and letting her choose whether or not to eat what we were eating. The one thing I did succeed with her was we always had a candy drawer at a low level in the kitchen. It had whatever recent holiday candy had happened in there(usually supplied by grandma), suckers, chocolate, candy corn, you name it. it was always available. My oldest to this day doesn't eat much candy but will stop at one or two pieces to satisfy a sweet tooth. We often had to throw out stale candy or just give it away when we knew the candy in there was one we didn't like.
My two younger children eat pretty much whatever they want if they say no I offer something else and I have to concur with the group and say Monkey Platters are genius! I would do all meals that way excepting we like having a family sit down meal each evening. Today I witnessed the best results of this method, the two year old had half a pb&j in hand(she had finished her ham sandwich earlier and was still hungry or maybe just hungry again) and the one year old had half a ham sandwich which she was ignoring while chowing down on apple. The one year old had explored the sandwich, taken it apart, took a nibble of the ham, cheese and gone back to her apple. The two year old looked over at the uneaten sandwich and told me she wanted that and not her pb & j which she had taken a couple bites of already. I promptly put the sandwich back together and gave it to her. She said in two year old "I'm really hungry" ignored the pb&j and chowed down on the ham sandwich.
If only I could convince my husband who wants them to eat before they get sweets or juice or drinks. He is of the, I was raised that way and it worked for me mindframe.
Anyway, keep offering and offering, don't give up on something forever just because they say no, also if they see you really enjoying that thing they said no to it sometimes will gt them curious again.
>However I am having probs with letting go of the control I have/had over what my children eat. Strangely enough my oldest is also finding it hard. She often asks me to make food choices for her and tell her what she can/can't eat because it's what she's used to and becomes overwhelmed otherwise.
Hi Emma, I'm new here too and not sure if I intro'd myself yet, but also understand your food issues. My oldest is 11 and I don't think I gave her enough choices so she focused on what she loved, when she was around 3-4 she mostly lived on pop tarts and chicken nuggets at home, she was in daycare so I justified my bad food with "she's getting good food there". Now she is so picky but we have been moving toward a much broader range of foods, why? Because I stopped forcing and letting her choose whether or not to eat what we were eating. The one thing I did succeed with her was we always had a candy drawer at a low level in the kitchen. It had whatever recent holiday candy had happened in there(usually supplied by grandma), suckers, chocolate, candy corn, you name it. it was always available. My oldest to this day doesn't eat much candy but will stop at one or two pieces to satisfy a sweet tooth. We often had to throw out stale candy or just give it away when we knew the candy in there was one we didn't like.
My two younger children eat pretty much whatever they want if they say no I offer something else and I have to concur with the group and say Monkey Platters are genius! I would do all meals that way excepting we like having a family sit down meal each evening. Today I witnessed the best results of this method, the two year old had half a pb&j in hand(she had finished her ham sandwich earlier and was still hungry or maybe just hungry again) and the one year old had half a ham sandwich which she was ignoring while chowing down on apple. The one year old had explored the sandwich, taken it apart, took a nibble of the ham, cheese and gone back to her apple. The two year old looked over at the uneaten sandwich and told me she wanted that and not her pb & j which she had taken a couple bites of already. I promptly put the sandwich back together and gave it to her. She said in two year old "I'm really hungry" ignored the pb&j and chowed down on the ham sandwich.
If only I could convince my husband who wants them to eat before they get sweets or juice or drinks. He is of the, I was raised that way and it worked for me mindframe.
Anyway, keep offering and offering, don't give up on something forever just because they say no, also if they see you really enjoying that thing they said no to it sometimes will gt them curious again.