Verna

I am becoming increasingly aware of the number of questions that are asked to me about my kids, in front of them.
For ex. I took one of my sons with me to the dentist today. I had to have some work done and I knew it wouldnt take long. He is not always comfortable talking to people. The hygenist asked him a few questions, he really didnt answer but i tried to kind of help him. She was just trying to be nice and helpful. Then she asked me, "is he shy?". Honestly, I felt very uncomfortable. I am becoming increasingly aware lately of how questions like that make him feel and the incident at the pool I wrote about last week started in much the same way. How do you respond to a question like that.

Lyla Wolfenstein

how old is he? i used to have the same experience a lot when my son was younger (and shyer). i found it really annoying and difficult to handle as well.



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Sandra Dodd

-=- Then she asked me, "is he shy?". Honestly, I felt very
uncomfortable. I am becoming increasingly aware lately of how
questions like that make him feel and the incident at the pool I wrote
about last week started in much the same way. How do you respond to a
question like that.-=-

I would say "Sometimes."

We can't change the whole world.

Sandra

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susanleeb52

I sometimes answered, "Sometimes he's reserved around people he doesn't know."

I felt like this answer might help the person realize that it was their expectations ("all children happily talk to total strangers") that were off base, and not my son's reaction.

Sometimes I said, "He likes to take some time to scope out new situations," as a way of helping people (and maybe me, and my son) see the positive side of a kid who didn't jump into things or conversations right away.

You could ask your son, too, what would make him most comfortable in that situation.


Susan in AZ

emsimmom

I understand how you are feeling. I get asked that about my daughter too. After it happening a few times I talked with my daughter about how she'd like us/me to answer it. I asked her because I know she wants to be included when asked about her but can't always find the words or doesn't want to.
She said it was OK for me to answer but if she wants to she will.
So far so good! :)

Angela Shaw

<<Then she asked me, "is he shy?". Honestly, I felt very
uncomfortable. >>



I usually said, "she sometimes takes a while to warm up to new people."
That way I felt like I wasn't labeling her in a negative way.

Angela



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k

>>>> Sometimes I said, "He likes to take some time to scope out new
situations," <<<<

Yes. My version has been: "Oh he's a real observer."

And it *is* positive. Think about that old adage: Look before you leap.

~Katherine


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