Nanci Kuykendall

>> I got the> impression that Sandra thought that most
>>people can't think for> themselves and so need
>>expert advice in order to make changes in> their
>>lives.

>She probably got that idea from people like me.
>(Sorry for the length... HEY, WAKE UP!)
>Nancy

Hey Nancy, I wanted to say thank you for that
fantastic post. I did not think it was too long at
all, as I was fascinated all the way through. :-)
Your story is SO radically different than my own path
to Unschooling that it was really a great learning
experience for me. I am not accustomed to believing
people think that way. I guess no matter how hard we
try, we do really assume that other folks are similar
to us. I knew that not everyone came to Unschooling
the same way, but your story was a real illustration
of how opposite those paths can be that lead to the
same destination.

I found my way to Unschooling as a teenager, in my
quest to educate myself and escape from the
institutions. I had to fight against a lot of
enormous odds for my right to be in charge of my own
education, my parents being one of my biggest
obstacles. I finally had enough information, strength
of will, and ability to access and utilize options
when I was a teen starting highschool to be able to
effect my escape from school. Oh how I wish the
Teenage Liberation handbook had been in print then, or
that I had discovered John Holt.

I have always known I WANTED children, and had spent
most of my life in various positions of caring for
other people's children before I had my own.
I decided that I would not subject my own children to
what I had to endure in the city schools. I decided
to homeschool my own children before I ever had any,
before I found their daddy. :-)
I began to explore homeschooling options and
legalities when my first son was an infant and
discovered that there was a name for what I had done
with myself as a teenager, Unschooling! It felt like
coming home to find the Unschooling community.

I am still working my way through all the books about
Unschooling, homeschooling, education and parenting
that I want to read. Somehow two VERY active boys are
not conducive to my own desired reading list
shrinking, and Unschooling has a way of making my
reading list keep growing and growing.

Anyway, thank you for your story. It really helps me
to understand where some people may be coming from. I
grew up on San Francisco and environs (Sausalito, Palo
Alto, Mountain View, Santa Cruz, San Lorenzo Valley
and kids who grew up on the communes there, and etc)
and while I was exposed to a huge variety of
lifestyles, values and diverse folks, it's been an
education process since I moved away from California
what types of folks I did NOT get exposure to. I did
not get a lot of exposure to things like close
mindedness, conservativism, circular and dead end
thinking, bigotry and prejudice. I KNEW about such
things, but thought they were the exception, not the
majority. I was in for a great culture shock when I
moved, and I continue to encounter attitudes which
startle or surprise me. Particularly because I am the
antithesis of those things and am very joyfully honest
about being a Pagan-Unschooling-Attachment
Parenting-Intentional Communitarian-and Etc.... Some
people find me REALLY offensive, just for being me. I
am sure everyone on this list knows what I mean.

I'm glad to know that being on opposite spectrums
about some things does not prevent us from
communicating and learning from each other, as is so
often the case.

Nanci K.

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In a message dated 2/5/02 1:43:55 PM, aisliin@... writes:

<< I did
not get a lot of exposure to things like close
mindedness, conservativism, circular and dead end
thinking, bigotry and prejudice. I KNEW about such
things, but thought they were the exception, not the
majority. I was in for a great culture shock when I
moved >>

I understand that feeling. I grew merrily in New Mexico, not knowing how
many people were elsewhere, how little openness there was elsewhere, or that
in other places people were taught NOT to make eye contact, NOT to report
crimes, NOT to tell someone who was littering to stop it, etc.

And I grew up thinking people used to be very prejudiced but the Whole World
was getting over it, because we all lived together.

Oh. That was northern New Mexico, not the whole world.

Sandra

Pat Cald...

From: SandraDodd@...
<< I did
not get a lot of exposure to things like close
mindedness, conservativism, circular and dead end
thinking, bigotry and prejudice. I KNEW about such
things, but thought they were the exception, not the
majority. I was in for a great culture shock when I
moved >>

I am going through a bit of an identity crisis. I have always thought of myself as conservative because I like "old fashioned" values where a woman can stay home and raise her family and not feel pressure to bring in money. I like "old fashioned" moral character where modesty is a virtue and there is shame in being a virgin. I don't like to hear people say "hey what ever makes them happy" when there is adultery in a marriage or "that's a sign of the times" when people get divorced. I don't like MTV or porn on the internet being connected to free game software for kids.

I like progress when it means women have a choice in their lives. I like progress when it means my children never use the color of someone's skin to describe them. I like progress when it is positive. So am I a conservative? Is being conservative bad if I am not trying to conserve traditions that are not positive? What is a liberal?

Pat


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

meghan anderson

<<<< I like "old fashioned" moral character where
modesty is a virtue and there is shame in being a
virgin.

Pat>>>>

LOL!! Well, I know when I was a teen it was 'uncool'
to be a virgin, but I had no idea that there was shame
in it!

Meghan
Who just couldn't resist that one <g>

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Susan Bundlie

<<I grew merrily in New Mexico, not knowing...that in other places people
were taught NOT to make eye contact, NOT to report crimes, NOT to tell
someone who was littering to stop it, etc.>>

A few years ago--actually, more than a few years ago--Eric (dh) was waiting
at a stop light behind someone who finished eating something and threw the
wadded-up wrapping out the car window. Eric jumped out of his car, ran
ahead, picked up the trash and said to the man "excuse me sir, you dropped
this." The startled guy actually said "thank you" and took it back! I don't
know if he detected sarcasm or not. (Today Eric probably would have been
shot.)

Another time he was driving along a lonely road and a pick-up truck full of
junk roared past him. Awhile later it roared past the other way, minus the
junk. He continued along until he found a lovely spot in the woods where
these jerks had dumped all their trash and he spent about a half-hour
digging around until he found an envelope with their name and address on it.
He reported them to the police, who were so pleased they called him back to
tell him when the "got' the guys.

Don't be littering around Eric....

Susan

moonmeghan

> A few years ago--actually, more than a few years ago--Eric (dh)
was waiting
> at a stop light behind someone who finished eating something
and threw the
> wadded-up wrapping out the car window. Eric jumped out of
his car, ran
> ahead, picked up the trash and said to the man "excuse me
sir, you dropped
> this." The startled guy actually said "thank you" and took it back!
I don't
> know if he detected sarcasm or not. (Today Eric probably
would have been
> shot.)
>
> Susan

I've done this on several occasions. I have always gotten the
same reaction. I think they're so shocked (and probably
embarrassed) that they don't know what to say <g>.

Meghan

Sharon Rudd

MY HERO!!
>
> A few years ago--actually, more than a few years
> ago--Eric (dh) was waiting
> at a stop light behind someone who finished eating
> something and threw the
> wadded-up wrapping out the car window. Eric jumped
> out of his car, ran
> ahead, picked up the trash and said to the man
> "excuse me sir, you dropped
> this." The startled guy actually said "thank you"
> and took it back! I don't
> know if he detected sarcasm or not. (Today Eric
> probably would have been
> shot.)
>
> Another time he was driving along a lonely road and
> a pick-up truck full of
> junk roared past him. Awhile later it roared past
> the other way, minus the
> junk. He continued along until he found a lovely
> spot in the woods where
> these jerks had dumped all their trash and he spent
> about a half-hour
> digging around until he found an envelope with their
> name and address on it.
> He reported them to the police, who were so pleased
> they called him back to
> tell him when the "got' the guys.
>
> Don't be littering around Eric....
>
> Susan
>
>
>
>


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Sharon Rudd

MY HEROINE!!!


>
> > A few years ago--actually, more than a few years
> ago--Eric (dh)
> was waiting
> > at a stop light behind someone who finished eating
> something
> and threw the
> > wadded-up wrapping out the car window. Eric jumped
> out of
> his car, ran
> > ahead, picked up the trash and said to the man
> "excuse me
> sir, you dropped
> > this." The startled guy actually said "thank you"
> and took it back!
> I don't
> > know if he detected sarcasm or not. (Today Eric
> probably
> would have been
> > shot.)
> >
> > Susan
>
> I've done this on several occasions. I have always
> gotten the
> same reaction. I think they're so shocked (and
> probably
> embarrassed) that they don't know what to say <g>.
>
> Meghan
>
>


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